Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Two Riffers: Episode 1: Bloody Moon (Part Ten)

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28. i just want to know why

Sonia: I do, too. I just want to know why this is still going.
Manic: *wearily* I'm so tired, sis.

tiwgger warning- w.c. in this chaftah

Manic: What's "w.c."?
Sonia: I don't know. Hey, author. Maybe it would help if you said it outright instead of making us guess!

i was deperzzed when i wrigted this, tragedy is beutiful...

Manic: *plays a tiny violin*

ecspecially in art form like writting,

Sonia: And especially if it's written well, which it isn't.

enjoy the continuatien of the story

Sonia and Manic: No.

i woke up in my bed again. it was over.

Sonia: If only we could say the same about this fanfic.

i missed the bloody moon and made it thru the night. my cloths were gone tho, i was nked.

Manic: *with a dunce cap* No, really?

i hopped that no 1 toke adventure of my body while i was aseelp.

Sonia: Considering this fanfic? I unfortunately believe that that happened.
Manic: And to make it worse? "Oh, I secretly liked it!"
Sonia: Just thinking about that made me want to vomit.
Manic: Well, just don't say that stuff to Kyo Kusanagi.
Sonia: Yeah... he would've burned the screen.

my hair was all messay, and james was there to greet me five minutes after i woke up. he looked tired, even tho it was mornin, eithrt that, or he was so stunned by my naked beauty.

Sonia: No! *shoots the screen*
Manic: *unfazed* Well, that happened.

he had brekfast: the blood of a bunch of preps we killed in the basement a few weeks ago., all in a fancy cup.

Manic: Well, if we needed any more proof that this was a bad "My Immortal" clone...

"hey lenobia" he said

"what's up james" i said

Manic: *as James* The ceiling.

"nothing." he paused ... he still looked sad in the darkness, sort of like a tragic emo who cuttted themselves alot, so beautiful butso sad. "alot of shit happened..."

Sonia: Like that last narrative line. A lot of shit.

that look in his eye... it was the same look edward gave to me when i chosoe jacob over him a long time ago. i started to cry for jacob a bit, im still in thre grieivng prospect, so shut up.

Sonia: *mutters* And you can bite me.
Manic: Woman, you've been grieving since Chapter 12 or 13! It's the 28th chapter, and you still won't shut the hell up about it! Move the hell on!
Sonia: There's a huge difference between mourning and repitition. Guess which one it fits under.

it was the eye of a man who lost so much after having so littel.

Manic: And why are you holding an eyeball, you creepy lady?

"lenobia... Logan and Edward... they're dead" he said sadly

Sonia: *as she's fluffing her hair* Edward's dead? Too bad, so sad.

i was so shocked i didnt even gasp, i almost fainted...

Sonia: And then she hit her head on a cement block and died of head trauma. Fic's over!

that nightmaer acel dark must have down something... but the thought of vengenxe couldnt dry my tears, i was cry and i put my face agarints my acute knes.

Manic: Acute?
Sonia: Well, this fic is incredibly obtuse.

james came close to me, i started crying inside of his chest, he said "it okay".

"why did thise have 2 happen" i said tragicaly

Sonia: Because the story won't end.

"look, u need to get dressed and cuome downstaires soon. we have to talk." james said.

Manic: Yeah, how long until they bonk, huh?
Sonia: She rebounds harder than Jessie.
Manic: Jessie doesn't rebound that fast.
Sonia: Oh, right; it's because she's a person with actual emotions and feelings.

i wanted to listen 2 james like i always do, but i wasnt going to be swo subjunctive.

Sonia: *as Lenobia* Or let him talk at all. This story is about me, damn it!

"WAIT." i said.. "please dont leave me like the others..." i said while cry, i grabbed james' arm, with my arm, which had my hand, which had my fingers with black nail polish on them. i can naturally do that, along with shoot fire. theres alot of powers i have that i dont now about.

Sonia: *explodes into ash*
Manic: *sweeps Sonia up* It's going to get worse, sis.
Sonia: *reforms, shakes the ashes out of her hair* How much worse?
Manic: Gonna quote what you said from Chapter 4... "Just wait; she's going to have every power ever."
Sonia: Oh, damn it. I hate past me.

james was sitting by the bedside at this point, but he looked at me and said "lenobia... im sorry but this isnt the time." he gave me a kiss on the fourhead, and i gave him a perfecyt kiss on the cheak. "get dressed, well meat downstares."

Manic: There's well meat downstairs?!
Sonia: *sighs* There's no meat, Manic...
Manic: *runs to the basement, returns with a steak* Ha! You were wrong, you were wrong!
Sonia: How did you--
Manic: Amy cooked some steak.
Sonia: Huh. Steak from the basement?
Manic: Don't ask, Amy made it, it was there.

i didnt come down right away. i slight my wrist silently. i t was my right and im a lefty, aka, an artist,

Sonia: Shut up.

so i didnt care about the blood. i put on a black min top that didnt cover my soft belly. i wore a kawaii plaid mini skirt and i didnt bother with make pu besides eyeshawdow. its not like im in need of make iup, i m perfect in my appearence ether way.

Sonia: *explodes*
Manic: *calmly sweeps Sonia up*
Sonia: *reforms, glares at the screen* I want to throw her into a wood chipper.
Manic: *while eating his steak* You know, you said that you didn't want to take this fic seriously anymore. I don't know why you keep forgetting to do that.

i got downstares. i was told to meat in the dying room (opposite of the livling room)

Sonia and Manic: *removes their dunce caps*

every1 was there. james was sitting beside carlos, who was cry nexty to darkina. emmet was cry because he lost his bf. Donni was having no tears done his face and was playin his guitar all sad like, to fit the mood. i notcied his wrist where slight. lucertia and evan where making out in the kitchen out of sorrow for every1. james turned 2 me. narut and his firends had to go back to japan because they couldnt hang out 4 long. they had missions 2 do, i learned this by gatherng info from every1's mind, a smart thing 2 do.

Sonia: Or an annoying thing. What happened to asking?
Manic: Sis, don't let her mangle the English language further. We can't have that.

then there was levi. he was againt the wall opposite of the dorr way i walked thru. he looked displeased as always... id be 2 if i lost my friends... which i actually did...

Sonia: Levi has friends?
Manic: Well, yeah. He's not a robot, sis.
Sonia: Now I'm more annoyed that the Sue had to make it all about her again.
Manic: Makes sense.

"Lenobia Seria Emuyen Dark'moone Cullen, you are 17, a werewolf/vampire mix and emo, corec?" Levi asked

Manic: You forgot "Mary Sue".
Sonia: You also left out "stupid".

"no one can say for sure who i am, but yes" i answerd phil-o-soapically.

Manic: "Phil-o-soapically"? I, uh... I... *blue screens*
Sonia: *reboots Manic* Happens to the best of us, Manic.

"You are aware of how many vaulable you are, right?" Levi continued

Manic: Zero.
Sonia: Zero what?
Manic: I don't know, zero friends, zero dollars?
Sonia: This fic had zero proofreading and zero common sense.
Manic: That's a lot of zeroes.

the fuck wads this?

Manic: There's a fuckwad?
Sonia: Yes, and we've been stuck with her for twenty-eight chapters now.
Manic: *plays a drum riff*

my firends are apparently dead and this guy is actin g like a fucking cop asking me stupid questions... i wanted to punch that guy... but i almost did but then i didnt. "uh sure" i answerd.

Sonia: I've also wanted to punch you for quite a while... not counting the rape scenes.
Manic: Yeah, you just wanted to take a shower after reading those.

"Do you rmeember what happnd last night?" levi asked some more. "Lenobia... you are very speical and valuable... but also ery dangerous.."

Sonia: Yeah, that always happens with Mary Sues. They must be quarantined. It doesn't matter if they sleep with various characters, one character, or nobody. They must be quarantined.

none of this shit makes any sense" i scramed! "alls i remember is nightmare axel dark dissaperring after YOU showed up and SAVEDV everyone!"

Manic: I'm calling it! Levi's the nightmare dude!

"You're right, I did." he said arrogantly "but you seem to have forgtoeen..." "you see..."

"Levi, stop! She shouldnot know yet" james interupted.

Sonia: Know what?
Manic: Levi's the father!
Sonia: No, Manic.

"what the fuck is there for me not to know? edward and login is dead! " i yieled.

Manic: "Login"?
Sonia: Wish it was dead so she wouldn't update this fic.

Levi laughed arrogantly again and walked forward me. he flipped his hair. at this point, donni stopped playing his guiater and got a little pissed at levo. he wlaked forward 2.

"lenobia... ihave something to tell u" Levi said,,, leaning closet... "YOU killed Edward when the bloody moon appeared!"

Sonia: Well, Edward's still dead. *fluffs hair* Once again... too bad, so sad.

"prove it bitch! i slept thru that!" i feel alseep in your arms!" i replyed.

Sonia: I'm getting sleepy!
Manic: I feel asleep!

sudeenly, simba walked into the room, and he had something big on his back. "Levi... I foubnd it..." he said strongly

he was carrying Edward's corpse... which he put down on the couch. Edward's eyes were blank... they used 2 look like thunderstorms but now they were blank. he was pale even more than before. he was bloody everywher... his chest had huge claw marks... claw marks from a werewolf... MY claw marks.

Manic: Eww.
Sonia: Why isn't he in the damn morgue?!
Manic: Stop that! That would make sense, sis!

i suddenly wanted 2 cut myself again...

Sonia: Aim for the jugular, madam.

"You're going to tell me what happened now" i said 2 levi angily.

Manic: Alrighty, then. You killed him. The End.
Sonia: *shrugs* I don't care anymore. It's just getting dumber.
Manic: Dude, it was already dumb! It was twenty-eight chapters of dumb! Besides, it can't be dumb if Edward's dead...
Sonia: Oh, thank you for reminding me. I shall throw a party because of that. And I will enjoy it until he gets resurrected.
Manic: Uh, it never said he'd be resurrected...
Sonia: It's Edward. It's going to happen.

29. i now know why

Sonia: No, you don't. You know nothing.

this has been long overdue hasnt it?

Manic: Yes, but nobody wanted to read it. And we sure as heck are tired of riffin' it!

i know im practically commiting a crime for holding of 4 so long, 3mos. sorry 4 tht tbh.

Manic: Not updating isn't a crime.
Sonia: Of course not. It's actually a blessing when you put this fic into perspective.

i wanted 2 forget about twilight for a while but twilights forever. ths is a twilight fic afteall. tbh i could never forgot about my fanfic tbh.

Sonia: I wish we could.
Manic: TBH.
Sonia: *snickers*

id like to thank catherine for u know... being a god friend and all. ive grown as a writer thanx to her. thanks girl, love yah. fuck haters tbh tho etc

Sonia: I'm so sick of that so-called word...

i always felt lenobia to be a close to who i am as a person so the constant flames and hate are bullshit. shes not a mary sue... get over yourselfs.

Sonia: *annoyed* Okay, you little cretin--
Manic: *laughs* Sorry, sorry, sis. Your reaction just made me crack up. But go ahead.
Sonia: Okay. Does she not know what "self-insert" means? She just basically said that the Sue is who she is as a person!
Manic: Nope. Also, don't you love the flailing around here?
Sonia: Maybe she shouldn't have put it online if she didn't want negative reviews.
Manic: If she never put it online, then we wouldn't have to riff it.
Sonia: That would've been a beautiful thing.

anyway like i said anywat fuck the haters and ill do what i pleas.

Manic: Sounds like the trademark line of all Mary Sues everywhere. "I'll do what I please."
Sonia: I'll be pleased to slap her upside the head.
Manic: Man, you're getting bitter with each passing chapter.
Sonia: It's like listening to the song that doesn't end. That's why I'm bitter.

i steppd forward and set my hand on fire. the blaze from my palm loomed on leviu's shoulder. levi took my hand off of him, unpahsed. 'i'll tell you if you sit down' he said cooly. i withdrew. then i sat down my hand was still on fire tho.

Manic: *with a dunce cap on his head* Yeah, thanks.

i stared nto levis green eyes for a bit before jhe said anything. he surveyed the destroied room becase he was on the lookout for any peopel listning.

Sonia: Levi's eyes aren't green. You want green eyes, go visit Sonic.

"lenobia, what im about to tell you will sound strange at first but knowing you i know you can handel it." he sumberly spoke

"im alot tougher than u think levi" i said crossed my arms ad wished death to your heart

Manic: Ow, the edge.

"look im about to explian alto of shit so mite as well get comfy" levie said "same goes for everyone"

"look, nightmare axel dark wants you more than anything in the world. youre thev reincarnation of his lover who dead. she was a werefolf/vampire mix, like u. becuase of that, the moon accelrrated her abilitys as a werefolf. the moon was a part of her in some whay. she would became some sort of werevampirewolf, one with great power and speed. not needing the blood of innocence, perfect from the start. this abilites was passed down onto u,. fate is funyn that way. perfect power for a perfect girl..." levi his eyes trembled a bit

Sonia: As if Levi would call this Sue perfect. He'd probably hack off her head.
Manic: I'm wondering how the heck he'd know about all of this stuff.
Sonia: It's a bad fanfic, Manic. It's not supposed to make sense.

"levi, you should get to the part of about th moon" donni said, tuning his guitir and flipping his hair sexy. i wanted to mention tht donne was weating a black leathar jacket w/ a pentagram sign on teh back. hes not a stanist he just thinks it look cool

Sonia and Manic: Nobody cares!

"axel wanted yto meet you under the blood moon becuase he imbuded the moon with the conscience with his old lover, the dreams you had of him? that was just him storing part of ur essence in the moon with his lover. the moon turning bllody meant that you 'fused' with his lover briefy. he was tryin to get mrs nightmare dark to posses u all yhis time. and she did, as a full fledged werewolf.

Manic: Yeah, "Mrs. Nightmare Dark" is something that I'd want on my marriage certificate if I was a woman.

that is untill..." he withdrew his breath and added a exhale "edward en tered your mind using his powersm, as you were suconscious, mrs nightmare dark caught wind of this and kill'd him. fortunately 4 us, Edward was albe to distrac her long enough to stopthe possesin to take full effect. you dont have to worry about mrs. dark possessing u anymore, shes gone for good because it was a long time thing he" levi breathed.

Manic: *blanks out, blinks* Huh? Did I miss anything? I wasn't paying attention.
Sonia: I don't blame you. And how in the heck did he "breathe" two giant sentences out?
Manic: I don't know.

"so... it wasnt me who kileld edward and logen?" i sedi. "how do u know all this?"

Manic: He has a crystal ball.

"ive been watching u, ever since u killed that sick vampir perkins. u see... im a wvampire hunter and ive been contracted 2 kill u " he said with wisdom and regret.

Manic: *laughs*
Sonia: *facepalms* Oh, you have got to be kidding me. He wouldn't spill the beans about trying to kill her.
Manic: Logic's not a thing in this fic, sis.

nobody in the room had a reactin, as if they already knew, this pissed me off more than anythig. could i trust anyone? the whole wrld was againt me

Sonia: Oh, that much is obvious.

and i kileld the only one i love. my one mistake inb my depressing existence happend to be the greatets wrong any1 could commit; killing tewh one u love .

Manic: Yeah, okay. May wanna start writing in that LiveJournal there.

"basterd! i yelled"

getting up aout of hmy chair and readied to throw a fire, i felt a hand, somewher that slowly climbd from my ass to my sholder. i knew this hand, i held it so many times, it was edward's.

Manic: You called it, sis.
Sonia: Of course I did.

nobody saw him get up as he was to quick even for the eyws of vampires like us. but edwards eyes, they were not the eyes of vampires, they wereb humman eyes because i saw what humantiy in his pupils. i was doen crying, but i was still sad to see him this way, i gave him the greatest embrace i could give. the room was silent exepyt evan and lucertia was still making out ^_^

Manic: *laughs* Oh, wow! Previously dead guy comes back to life? Whatever, let's make out!
Sonia: This fic is incredibly dumb.
Manic: Twenty-nine chapters of dumb.

edword told me that he gave up his abilitiys as a vampire in order to save vampier he onc was was dead. then it hit me, all this people sacrifice so much all for me. but i didnt get it- theres nothing too scarifice for

Sonia: Oh, the faux humility.

my face was look down on teh floor. my tears, now red, fell to the floor, as i was lookig at it.

Manic: *plays with his dunce cap* Really, now?

just blotchs of red tearz. im tougher than this i thought.

Manic: *sarcastically* Yeah, showing emotion is a girly thing!

levi than said nothing... and storted to take of his pants!

Sonia: *baffled* What the hell?!
Manic: Half of me is confused. The other half wants to laugh again.

he unzipped hes zipper and stated at me w/ his cool deep green eyes. what are u doing i said. he said that he was goin to do me! nobody did anything as he was now in hes underware. he took of his shrt 2. he showed me hes 8 pack... i followed hes trail of body hair with my eyes and ended starting at his crouch.

Manic: His couch?
Sonia: His crouch. His sexy crouch.
Manic: You mean his crotch?
Sonia: I'm going to be literal here. He has a sexy crouch.
Manic: *smirks*

i couldt help it. when i truned around to edward he was already naked. that d that i missed so much was right in front off me! i thought it was a little groess at first

Sonia: This is coming from the Sue who had sex with just about every male in this bad fanfic. This is also coming from the Sue who had an orgy in a kitchen.
Manic: Hey, I mean, have sex, I don't care. Just quit contradicting yourself, Sue.

but then i got turned on just by lookin into his eyes. those weyes were human eyes now. he gave me a warm smile and pressed his lips on my libs. are tongues wreatlesd for dominence. every1 in the room got so turned on that they staryfed to take of there cloths to!

i realiz edward was the one i wanted 2 be w/.

and i new tht this would be the best victory orgy of all time.

...

Sonia and Manic: ...
Sonia: ...what the hell did I just read here?
Manic: ...nonsense.
Sonia: That's what this fic is, Manic.
Manic: Um... stupid nonsense.
Sonia: Yes, that's better.

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