Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Four Riffers, Episode 4: Fairy of nature, Mistress of the Forest (Part One)

--

1. Preface

Fairy of Nature, Mistress of the Forest

Kyo: And Jessie's probably been someone's mistress in the past.
Jessie: *smacks Kyo on the back of his head*
Kyo: *rubs his head* Hey!
Jessie: You're welcome.

There I stood in the middle of the meadow, chestnut brown hair whipping wildly around my face, shimmering violet eyes dancing with excitement.

Akiko: Whoa, those aren't eyes.

I felt the familiar bright purple haze cling to my body like a second layer of skin as I twirled around at a pace most would think impossible.

Sonic: So this is what a shot of LSD feels like.

I began to slow down, feeling my dress flow around my legs and my waist length hair fall over my shoulders.

Jessie: Okay, who wants to jump rope with it?

There I stood in my natural form.

Kyo: Bella's natural form? It was a horrid mix of Taylor Swift, Lindsay Lohan, and Justin Bieber.
Akiko: I thought that was Bella's natural form from the beginning.
Kyo: *smirks* Oh, you're good.

Sparkling violet wings, light up, as beams of sunlight hit off them.

Jessie: *whistles as she removes the commas*

Layers and layers of natural waves cascading down my back, soulless silver knee- high sandals wrapped my legs in an enchanting fashion.

Sonic: Have fun drownin', then.

An alluring mid-thigh light purple and white ruffle dress that really seemed to make my eyes pop.

Kyo: *juggling some replacement eyes* Looks like you won't need these.

There I stood in my natural form. Fairy of Nature, Mistress of the Forest.

Akiko: Ooh, a title drop! How many of those will we get?
Jessie: Hope that's the only one.

My name is Serenity Isabella Forrester, or more commonly known as Isabella Marie Swan.

Sonic, Jessie, Akiko: *flatly* What.
Kyo: That Mary Sue is now a bigger Mary Sue?! Is that even possible?!
Sonic: Yep. Sues are all the rage right now, man.

Heyyy guys!

All: Hello.

So this is my first story...

Jessie: Yeah, I can see that.

do you like it? hate it? love it?

Akiko: Uh... what's there to like? Or hate, for that matter?

i would very much appreciate a review to tell me if i should continue, all flames are welcomed :)!

SupernaturalMistress x

Sonic: Author, you don't need to get flames. Just saying.
Kyo: Maybe she's a masochist. *ignites flame* I know I'm one.
Akiko: Ooh. Yeah, we're going to have to call someone to deal with you later.

2. Serenity Isabella Forrester

Bella P.O.V

Akiko: *wearing a dunce cap* Hmm. I could've sworn that we were going to go into Edward's point of view with that chapter title.

I am 204 years old, yet frozen in the body of a 17 year old.

Sonic, Kyo, Jessie: *stares at the screen*
Akiko: *twiddles her thumbs* Hey, it happens, I guess.

I am the Fairy of Nature, Mistress of the Forest,

Kyo: *snarls* Get your hands off of me!
Sonic: *pats Kyo on the back* Calm down, man.

and right now: I am in the small rainy town of Forks,

Jessie: *wearing a dunce cap* No, I thought that we were in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

posing as the daughter of Charlie and Renee Swan. My real parents, Aurora and Caspian Forrester, were killed by fairy hunters on my 14th birthday, some present eh?

Kyo: My present hasn't arrived yet.
Jessie: What present?
Kyo: *coldly* Her heart.
Sonic: *whispers to Akiko* What heart? I don't remember seeing Bella with that.
Akiko: *shrugs, whispers to Sonic* She never had a brain, either.
Jessie: Okay... we're going to have to sedate you after this riffing, Kyo.

The hunters that killed my parents are still after me, they've been tracking me since the day I escaped their clutches. Only the next time I see them, pathetic idiots that they are, I will finish them.

Sonic: Nice to see that Bella's "Better Than You" attitude hasn't left.
Akiko: I thought that was called "selflessness" in the Bella Dictionary, Sonic.
Sonic: Well, sort of. She's still annoying, though.

The Cullen's don't yet know about the real me, and I kind of hope to keep it that way.

Jessie: And she has three eyes and four breasts.
Akiko: *looks at Jessie's breasts*
Jessie: Not my breasts, you. They honestly can't be that big.
Akiko: Well... they kind of look like cushy pillows, Jess.
Jessie: *stunned* I don't know how to take those words.

I really don't want to put them in danger. I know you might be thinking 'what is she on; there vampires' but my kind are a lot stronger, faster and all round better fighters even without our powers.

Sonic: How in the freaking hell can you be in a bigger Mary Sue race?! You can't top the Sue vampire race there!
Kyo: Yes, you can. And by the way... I'm actually the Sun.

Fairies in general, usually have up to three powers, but I'm just weird all round.

Akiko: Well, you weren't human to begin with, so there's that.

I have 10 powers, making me the strongest fairy in history.

All: *stare at the screen*
Sonic: What in the holy hell is this nonsense?
Jessie: You just said it, Sonic... it's nonsense.

My powers include: the five elements – water, wind, earth, fire and quintessence,

Kyo: Let our powers combine! Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart -- I mean, Quintessence!
Akiko: Huh? What the heck is that last one?
Sonic: *reading from a dictionary* Quintessence is... the fifth and highest element in ancient and medieval philosophy that permeates all nature and is the substance composing the celestial bodies. *stops reading* For a while, I thought that that wasn't a word at all.
Akiko: *stares* I have nothing funny to say now.

the ability to speak with animals,

Sonic: Oh, there's "Heart".

I am a mental and physical shield, teleportation, invisibility and weather control.

Jessie: No, stop. Just stop. I'm already close to walking out the door because I'm just so... stunned here.

Speaking of powers,

All: No! No more powers!

I am currently in the most breathtakingly beautiful meadow, filled with lush green trees, long thick grass, every flower and scent imaginable.

Jessie: So... it's the same meadow from the stupid books. That's not new, sweetie.

I am in my own paradise surrounded by the animals I love, rabbits, deer, birds, foxes all gather around to see there Mistress.

Akiko: Oh, I'm sorry. I, um...
Kyo: What's the matter?
Akiko: I just imagined her in a dominatrix suit... *coughs* ...and she was doing things to them.
Kyo: *raises an eyebrow* And people call me crazy.

The true beauty of the forest comes out, and every single living thing that has a life and a spirit gives me more energy and power.

Kyo: Which meant that she finally had energy and power for the very first time in her miserable, whiny life.

I am currently practicing my magic to make sure that when the hunters come, I will be more than ready. I will stop at nothing to protect the ones I love, and to end this miraculously long game of cat and mouse.

Sonic: Can't she just talk to them and it'll all be over? I mean, Stephenie Meyer couldn't write conflict to save her butt, so why should this author bother?
Akiko: Maybe the author of this fic can do better in that department.

A/N

Heyy everyone!

All: Hello again.

I'm sorry this chapter is so short and boring, im just trying to give you all some background information on Serenity (bella) before the actual story begins.

Akiko: Why? She's always been a Sue, and she'll stay a Sue. No real difference.

Once again, like it? hate it? love it? review please, i'd really love to hear what you all think.

Jessie: Well... you could've just put the first and second chapters together. We wouldn't mind that at all. And no, that's not sarcasm.

Im new to this whole writing thing and i don't know if im any good... so a wee review would be nice:)

Kyo: At least the author has better spelling than most of the crap fics that I've seen so far.

Oh, and flames are more than welcome!

- SupernaturalMistress x

Sonic: Yeah, well too bad that most of the reviews were... "I love it! Write more!"
Jessie: That's in every "Twilight" fic review board, Sonic. You're not missing anything.

3. Something About the Sunshine Baby

Sonic: Aside from the fact that it caused a black hole?
Kyo: Congratulations, you've just described Bella Sue's canon hellspawn.

Rays of delicate sunlight beamed through my bedroom window, effectively waking me up.

Akiko: Sure that the rays didn't cook her?
Sonic: Yeah, about that... "Crispy Bacon Bella" doesn't sound appealing at all.

With a stretch and a groan I slowly sat up, loving the feeling of the warm beams of sun hitting the front of my body.

Jessie: I thought that tanning beds could do the same thing.
Sonic: And they could turn you into bacon. Don't forget that.

I let out an excited laugh and hopped off of my bed and into the shower.

Kyo: I don't want to live with her. *grumbles* I hate perky morning people.
Akiko: *slowly scoots away*

A train of thoughts at a mile a minute were running through my head as I quickly had a shower using my favourite strawberry body wash and shampoo. I dried myself off, and dashed into my large walk-in wardrobe. I grabbed a pair of black ripped skinny jeans, my favourite purple t-shirt, a grey knitted cardigan and my black converse. I shoved them on and put my long hair into a messy ponytail, I made my thick black lashes long but natural looking and put on a layer of thin raspberry pink gloss. All in all, I looked pretty nice. (A/N – links to outfit can be found on profile)

Sonic: *snores*
Jessie: I said that I missed riffing with Sonic. I never said that I missed his snoring.
Akiko: *looks at the profile* I can't find any links.
Kyo: Good. Saves me the trouble of looking at anything.

I bolted down the stairs, taking two at a time letting my klutziness fade away.

Akiko: She's a fairy. Shouldn't she lose her klutziness?
Kyo, Jessie: Logic.

I grabbed a granola bar from the counter, my keys and phone before skipping out of the door and into my trusty truck.

Kyo: Which was the same truck that she bitched about in the first freakin' book. You know what, Bella? You can eat my sh--
Sonic: *immediately wakes up, hits Kyo with a pillow on reflex*
Kyo: Jeez!

Not even two steps out of the door I was hit with a new wave of energy, living next to the forest does have its advantages you know.

Akiko: Thank you, Snow White.

The whole forest seemed to be alive; birds were chirping happily, squirrels were looking for food, even the thinnest branches on the thickest trees were swaying quite contented in the gentle breeze.

Jessie: *plucks a thin branch off* You were saying?

A loving sigh escaped me, before I realised I was just standing there.

Sonic: This is coming from the same girl who couldn't remember where her dang lips were.

I took off again, and hopped into my faded red truck. The loud roar of the engine erupted, and I expertly and quickly backed up out of the runway before pressing on the gas and heading towards the Cullen's house.

Kyo: Now drive into that stupid glass house! Do it!

Every tree and flower, every animal and strand of grass seemed to be in as good a mood as me.

All: Me, me, me. Oh, Jesus.

Its amazing how just a little bit of sunshine can put you in such a good mood. I turned the radio up as a song came on that described my day so far perfectly, I wasn't bothered at all with the stares I was getting as I belted out the lyrics to this song:

Sonic: If this song involves booze, women, and AK-47s, I'm getting the hell outta here.

Wake up to the blue sky

Grab your shades, and let's go for a ride, breakfast by the ocean

We'll do lunch at Sunset & Vine, every day's a dream in California, every night the stars come out to play,

Wish that I could always feel this way.

There's something about the sunshine, baby, I'm seeing you in a whole new light, out of this world for the first time, baby

Ohhh it's alright

Jessie: No, it's not "alright".
Sonic: *fluffs a pillow* It is to me. Good night.
Akiko: Sonic, it's 2:54... in the afternoon.
Sonic: Good night.

There's something about the sunshine, there's something about the sunshine

Kyo: Yeah, it hasn't burned me to a crisp yet.
Jessie: That's what Hell is for, Kyo. Then again, you do act like a brazen hellspawn.
Kyo: *scoffs*

Hollywood rocking, In Malibu we hang out and chill, it's all about the shopping

From Melrose to Beverly Hills

Every where's a scene, and now we're in it, I don't wanna paint this town alone

Sonic: *while yawning* Because you can't be vapid anywhere else.

When I see you smile I always feel at home

There's something about the sunshine, baby, I'm seeing you in a whole new light

Jessie: I can tell. Bella, sweetie? Kyo just set you on fire!
Kyo: *grins* My favorite kind of light.

L.A's breeze with the palm trees swaying, oh, it's alright

Now that you're here (now that you're here), It's suddenly clear (suddenly clear), sun's coming through I never knew, whatever I do its better with you

It's better with you

There's something about the sunshine baby (something about it), I'm seeing you in a whole new light (whole new light)

Akiko: Whoo, title drop!
Sonic: *snores*
Akiko: Well, I guess Sonic isn't too excited about that.

Out of this world for the first time baby (yeah), Oh, it's alright (it's alright)

There's something about the sunshine baby (something about it)

Kyo: *impatient* Is this done yet?
Jessie: Just a few more... er, lines.

I'm seeing you in a whole new light (whole new light); out of this world for the first time baby (Ohhh)

Oh, it's alright (it's alright), there's something about the sunshine, baby

Kyo: *nudges Sonic*
Sonic: *wakes up* Is the song over?
Kyo: Almost.
Sonic: Eh.

I'm seeing you in a whole new light, L.A's breeze with the palm trees swaying

Oh, it's alright.

Jessie: It's alright now that it's over.

I was laughing away as I hoped out of my baby and strode up to the Cullen's door.

Akiko: How much sugar did she put in her Corn Flakes today?
Kyo: Whole damn bag and then some.

I stopped halfway, and admired the surrounding view.

Sonic: *fluffs his pillow* Good night.
Kyo, Jessie, Akiko: Again?

A clear blue fast flowing river was a little more than 300 yards away, surrounding the house were massive thick green trees providing homes for many different small creatures, a 2 mile runway, covered in pebbles ranging from black to white. Pink, yellow, lilac, red, green. Beautiful flower beds ran all under the large shimmering glass window of the Cullen living room, I breathed in the familiar scents of the Sunflowers, Daisy's, Roses, Tulips, Petunias, before exhaling deeply in a relaxed manner.

Jessie: I'm convinced that something has possessed her... well, barring the fairy spirit thing. Her perkiness is scaring me.
Akiko: Well, it beats listening to her complain about everything, Jess.
Jessie: Very true.

Spinning around, I ran off to the front door and knocked once before excitably walking or more like skipping inside. I reached the stairs and just assumed everyone was upstairs. I could just picture it; Emmett and Jasper playing the X-box, Carlisle reading one of his medical journals, Edward at his piano composing, Rosalie and Alice engrossed in a girly chat about fashion, make-up, spa days and other things and Esme just quite contented watching over everyone.

Kyo: Esme's still a cardboard box, huh?
Sonic: *snores*
Kyo: *snatches Sonic's pillow from under his head, hits him with it* Wake up!
Sonic: *yells* Gah! Okay, I'm up!

I wondered why no-one had came to meet me at the door as they usually do,

Akiko: *as Bella* I want my red carpet and rose petals, damn it!

but the thought quickly escaped my mind as I reached the top of the stairwell. I poked my head around the corner expecting to see everything as I imagined, but instead I was met with the grim, uptight looks on my families' faces.

Sonic: How's that different from every other day?

I slowly walked into the room; my once happy and bubbly mood had disappeared into the darkness and was filled with worry and anger. What in god's name has happened to make them look so down? I swear to…

Jessie: Oh, it's a plot! They can't be happy about that!

A pained, grief stricken voice interrupted my scattered thoughts.

'Bella love, Alice had a vision. We're expecting some visitors later on today, but they're not coming for a visit. They're coming to kill all of us and you.'

Kyo: That's supposed to be terrible?
Akiko: Yes, it is.
Kyo: Then how come I'm not feeling sorry for them?
Akiko: Because you're nuts?
Kyo: *smiles in a wicked manner* Yes, yes.
Akiko: Please stop that. You're creeping me out a little.
Jessie: Sorry, sweetie... he does that all the time. We've gotten used to his constant Mr. Hyde self.

Heyy guys!

All: Hello.

First off, i want to say thanks to everyone to Favourited, reviewed or followed this story, it meant a lot to me:)

Sonic: No offense, but... where's the story?
Akiko: *shrugs*

So this chapter is slightly longer than the rest, but still quite boring right?

Kyo: It had song lyrics. That instantly makes anything boring.

I gave you all a slight hint to whom the visitors are going to be, expect a very exciting next chapter!:)

Jessie: How can it be exciting when you pretty much told us who they were going to be?

Please review, i love to hear your thoughts on my story!:D

-SupernaturalMistress x

Akiko: *writes* Dear kind author... a blue hedgehog fell asleep during the reading. Then again, I'm told that he's always asleep and has the attention span of a flea. Anyway--
Sonic: Hey!
Akiko: What? Your sister said that to me.
Sonic: Then I'm going to lock her out of the house for that.

--

Continue to Part Two
Go Back to Interns Page
Go Back to Episode List
Go Back to Main MST 'EM Page