Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Four Riffers, Episode 8: New Allies or New Enemies? (Part Five)

--

I'm sorry I didn't update for a while. I sort of have writer's block and I'm really busy.

Benimaru: And we all know the cure for writer's block... *turns around to face the audience* ...you write a whole bunch of nonsense out and turn it into a sequel.
Cassy: Oh, jeez, dude. Don't remind me of that fic.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or anything.

… - Anna's telepathic bond

/…- Sakura's telepathic bond

'…' - thoughts

Italics - dreaming

Recap:

"Look out!" Sailor Mars yelled. The outers turned around quickly as Sakura looked up. They saw a bunch of acid flying at them and it was too late to stop!

Kaoru: I find it ironic that none of us pointed out that there were no "recaps" in the last part.
Miyuki: Really? I guess we ignored them so much that they just poofed for a whole part!

CHAPTER EIGHT

Sakura's POV

The attack was about to hit us. 'What are we going to do?' I thought hurriedly. 'I've got no choice. I don't want my friends to be hurt. I guess it's time to reveal myself to the inners.'

Cassy: Yeah, you shoud've done that before, you twit. It makes no sense when you're hiding yourself from your own past life relative.

Normal POV

Sakura's eyes started to glow silver. On her forehead, a silver eight-pointed star started to appear. The star started to glow as her eyes glowed brighter. The inners were mystified by what was happening to Sakura. Suddenly, just as the acid was about to hit the outers, who were in front of Sakura, she lifted one had and a silver barrier flashed into place around herself and the outers. The acid hit the barrier and disappeared into thin air.

Cassy: *stares at the screen* Really, dude? Really? Are you freaking serious right now?
Kaoru: *sips her tea* Nobody should be surprised at this. *looks at her list* And I've already counted this as a sign.
Benimaru: Which one?
Kaoru: The eleventh sign.
Miyuki: *sighs* Guys, I'm sorry, but I wanna switch now. I just know that there's going to be even more crap, and I can't handle it.
Cassy: Alright, suit yourself.
Miyuki: Thanks, Cassy. *as she leaves* Hey, you. You're up.
Keiko: *walks into the room, sits next to Kaoru, looks at Cassy* Well, this feels familiar, doesn't it?
Kaoru: *nods*
Cassy: Yep.
Keiko: Alright, then. *looks at Benimaru* You don't look like you're enjoying yourself, Nikaido.
Benimaru: Nobody's enjoyed this fic. I just want to get this done.
Keiko: Well, as Kusanagi would say... "Let's get this over with."

The inners, Sailor Moon, and the youma were surprised by the barrier. They could see what was going on inside.

Keiko: They saw a Mary Sue in a bubble. That is not surprising.

Inside, Sakura was speaking. "Outers, you and the inners have one more transformation. I'm the only one who could give it to you. Serena can't give it to you.

Benimaru: *sputters, facepalms, groans in frustration*
Kaoru: *mops up another puddle*
Cassy: Welp, this fic broke Benimaru! *gives a sarcastic thumbs up* Great!
Keiko: *as Sakura* Yes, I'm better than Serena, and I have to lord that fact over all of you! *normal voice* I can see why he hasn't enjoyed this fic.
Kaoru: Especially since he's already switched with his backup.

Just like I can't give the inners their last transformation. Serena's able to give it to the inners when it's time," she told them.

Benimaru: *muffled* Wait, didn't this Sue give the Inners their last transformation?
Cassy: I don't know. Why don't you read it yourself and brush up?
Benimaru: *while lifting his face from his hands* I don't want to, Cassy.
Kaoru: *reads again* Yes. The Sue gave everyone their new powers. And there's the twenty-fifth sign... continuity errors.
Keiko: Wow. That's a serious continuity error if I ever saw one. I'm surprised that she even gave Serena a bone there.

"Now, take out your transformation pens."

Once all four were holding their pens, Sakura closed her eyes and cupped her hands while sitting up(only her ankle was trapped).

Cassy: *removes her dunce cap* Stop holding my hand!
Keiko: Oh, boy. Another one of these authors that had to spell out the obvious to the audience, huh?
Benimaru: Yes, and it's annoying, Keiko.
Kaoru: It's going to get worse in a second.
Benimaru: It doesn't help us when you say that, Kaoru.

A rainbow-color filled crystal slowly materialized in between her hands as Sakura concentrated. In a burst of silver light, four beams came out of the crystal. Each beam was either a purple, an aquamarine, a yellow, or a dark green color. The beams hit the pens and they rose out of the scouts' hands. Silver dust fell out of nowhere and when they made contact with the pens, it slowly morphed into a sort of crystal. Circular brooches appeared in the outers' hands. One of the crystals was a dark purple color and was shaped to be a miniature version of her Silence Glaive. The Saturn Crystal slowly floated to its princess and fitted itself into the deep groove that was designed specifically to hold the crystal in the brooch. A yellow crystal shaped like her Space Sword floated to Uranus's hands and into the brooch designed for the Uranus Crystal. The Neptune Crystal was an aquamarine color and shaped like the Neptune Mirror. The Pluto Crystal was shaped like her Time Staff and was a dark green color. Each of those crystals floated to their respective owner's brooches.

Cassy, Benimaru: *falls asleep*
Keiko: *yawns* Well, it got worse.
Kaoru: I did warn them. Oh, I forgot to offer some tea to you. Would you like a cup?
Keiko: Yes, please.

Sakura's POV

Keiko: It was bad enough when she hogged the screen in third person! Why does she need a first person perspective?
Kaoru: It's to ensure that the spotlight is always on her.

I opened my eyes and watched as the crystals floated down to rest in their brooches. "Okay, scouts," I said as the crystal's glow went down a little, though still glowing. "Your transformation phrase begins with your planet name, and then 'Princess Cosmos Power'," I told them. I watched as they raised their transformation brooches.

"Saturn…Princess…Cosmos…POWER!"

"Uranus…Princess…Cosmos…POWER!"

"Neptune…Princess…Cosmos…POWER!"

"Pluto…Princess…Cosmos…POWER!"

"MAKE-UP!"

Keiko: *reads the fic* Sorry about backtracking here; Miyuki just left and didn't give me any information on this fic when we switched places. Anyway... that's her real name?
Kaoru: Yes, it is.
Keiko: And... those are their new transformation phrases.
Kaoru: Yes, they are.
Keiko: Wow. That's a lot more narcissistic than Nikaido could ever hope to be.

'It's definitely time to reawaken the princesses and the planetary crystals,' I thought.

Cassy: *wakes up* Did I miss anything?
Kaoru: Yes, actually. We'll give you a minute.
Cassy: *reads* Oh, that's bullshit, dude!
Benimaru: *wakes up* Did someone explode?
Cassy: *frantically pointing at the screen* Dude, dude! Read that crap! Read it!
Benimaru: Okay, okay, fine. *reads* Wow. That's a bit... vain, isn't it?
Keiko: *sips her tea* Oh, the irony, Nikaido.

Water swirled around Neptune's body, shielding her from view. Wind surrounded Uranus while images of clocks surrounded Pluto and dark dust surrounded Saturn. All four of their transformations included stars. Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and there stood the outers among the falling dust.

Their uniforms now consisted of a white leotard with a skirt that went down to their ankles. The skirts were in their planetary colors and rimmed with silver. It also had slits on both sides that went up to mid-thigh to make it easier to move around in. All four were wearing ankle strapped heel shoes, too. Their gloves were the same as their 'Super' uniforms. Three cloths made of see-through material were covering their shoulders in their own colors. Their chokers now had their planet signs. The wings on their back stayed the same as before and their brooches rested in between the two bows on their fronts.

Cassy: I'm almost tempted to turn into Sonic now.

Once they were finished, I let the barrier down.

Keiko: I'm surprised that there was a barrier. Normally, they would be ripe for an attack.
Kaoru: Transforming is a free action.

 /Uranus./ I thought.

'Yes, Princess,' she thought back.

/You now have control over the wind. Just will it to do something and it will.

Cassy: I thought that Uranus was the senshi of the sky.
Kaoru: Yes, but it was also said that Amara was as fast as the wind. Then again, her Japanese name is translated as "Sky King".

The same goes for the rest of you. Neptune has control over water,

Keiko: No, Mercury has control over water. Neptune has control over the sea. Jeez, the author must hate the Inner Senshi if they're slowly being rendered obsolete.
Benimaru: Well, they got powered up by a Mary Sue. And you know what they do for a living.

Pluto over time long it doesn't do anything drastic,

Cassy: *sarcastically* Well, that's great, Sue. Just crap on her abilities there.

and Saturn over deaths. Be careful with your new powers./ I warned them.

Keiko: *as Sakura* Remember, I've overpowered you guys to eclipse the Inner Senshi. But don't show off with your new powers, because that's my job.

They nodded and Uranus raised her hands toward my leg.

Benimaru, Keiko: Uh...
Kaoru: *sips her tea* I have nothing to add.
Cassy: *unfazed* I think Axl's read that hentai before.

Normal POV

"Okay, what just happened here?" Sailor Mars asked while the youma just stood there, awed by the light show.

Benimaru: Yeah, if this was an actual situation, that youma would be attacking instead of staring at it like an idiot.
Cassy: Next on "Plot Convenience Theater"...

"It looks like the outers just got a power-up," Jupiter said. "I don't know what all this has to do with Sakura though. Is it possible that she has her own special powers?"

Keiko: *rubbing her forehead with her fingertips* My head hurts.

Mercury looked up from her compact computer. "I just scanned the power that threw up the barrier a while ago," she started. "It's all coming from Sakura, and it matches the power readings that I got from Sailor Star!"

"WHAT!" everyone exclaimed.

Benimaru: *facepalms, grumbles*
Kaoru: Just... give them the benefit of the doubt. They didn't know, and they just figured it out without anybody's help. At least give them that.
Benimaru: I know, but... it just feels like the Suethor dropped their IQ points for this.

"Are you saying that Sailor Star is actually Sakura?" Sailor Moon asked, staring at Sakura in shock.

Keiko: She just said that, Moon.
Cassy: Jesus Christ, dude.

Before Sailor Mercury could answer, Jupiter shouted, "Look!"

All the scouts turned around quickly. Uranus had her hands raised and seemed to be concentrating. Wind slowly started to gather and when there was enough, Uranus sent the wind towards the wall. The piece of wall started to lift and when it was high enough, Sakura slid her ankle out. Once Sakura was safely away from the floating wall, the wind dispersed and the wall dropped back to the floor.

Cassy: Can the wind really do that?
Keiko: Only in Anime Land, Morgan.

The youma finally snapped out of its daze and sent another blast of acid at them.

Benimaru: Took you long enough, plot device monster.

The outers turned around. "Let's finish this, shall we?" Pluto stated, raising her staff. "Pluto…Time…MANIPULATION!" she called out, and mists came out of her staff, surrounding the acid. When the mists disappeared, the acid was still heading towards them, but in slow motion.

Kaoru: Yes, I'm pretty sure that's what time manipulation does.
Keiko: I feel like I'm being told how I should read this fic as it goes on. It's very patronizing.

"It's my turn," Neptune said, smirking (what a surprise!).

Cassy: *exhausted* Oh, shut up, Suethor.

She raised her mirror in front of her and it started glowing. "Neptune…Water…REFLECTION!" she shouted out. An aqua beam came out of the mirror, and a wall of water appeared where the beam ended. When the acid hit the wall of water, it went back towards the youma, still in slow motion. Pluto waved her staff a bit, and the acid went back to normal speed, hitting the youma. It screamed as the acid burned through its flesh.

Saturn smirked also. "It's time to end this," she said in a cold voice. "Saturn…Silence…EXPLOSION!" she shouted out. Some kind of dark gas came out of her glaive and went straight into the youma's chest. Everything was silent for a moment, and then the youma's body exploded without a sound into dust, instead of disgusting body parts.

Benimaru: We already know how youma are destroyed in this series. Why does this Suethor keep thinking that her audience is stupid?
Keiko: I can see why Miyuki bailed this mess for a chapter. I don't blame her.

There was silence for a few moments, but then the inners and Sailor Moon started bombarding them with questions.

Sakura stood up with the help of Uranus. "QUIET!" she shouted out. They shut their mouths immediately, stunned.

Cassy: Okay, did the Sue or Uranus shout at them?
Keiko: Probably the Sue. And I should slice her head off for that.
Benimaru: That's a little extreme, isn't it?
Keiko: No.

Sakura smiled mysteriously. "If you want answers, then come to the mansion later," she said, and then they were gone, leaving behind some silver dust on the floor.

Cassy: Did the Sue just... crap on the floor?
Kaoru: *glances at Cassy before returning her attention to the screen*
Keiko: Well, Mary Sues never have to use the bathroom, so I guess it's accurate.

The scouts stared for a few minutes. "Should we go?" Sailor Moon said, breaking the silence.

"We should," Sailor Mars said. "I want some answers and I'm getting them." She went out the door and jumped onto a nearby room. The others looked at one another and then followed.

Benimaru: And then the Sue killed them. The End.

There's chapter 8 for you. Sakura and the rest are going to be in for an interrogation.

Cassy: *removes her dunce cap, crushes it* We know, you damned tw--
Benimaru: Okay, Cassy.

Well, review and I'll work on the next chapter.

Cosmos270

Keiko: *gets up* Well, that was stupid. I'm out of here.
Cassy: Hey, Keiko?
Keiko: What?
Cassy: Wanna get my backup while you're at it?
Keiko: Fine. *as she leaves* Miyuki, they're done. And you. Morgan wants you.
Kyo, Miyuki: *sits down*
Cassy: Hey, dude.
Kyo: Cass... you better have a good reason for dragging me in here.
Cassy: Because I still hate you.
Kyo: *grumbles* The feeling's mutual.

IMPORTANT: Sorry, I haven't been updating.

Kyo: And that's a problem because...?

I want to apologize to Odango Forever, Arakasema, Endigo Master, and especially beyblade master. I wish I didn't have to say this, but I may not be updating or continuing on with this story.

Cassy, Benimaru, Miyuki: And that's a problem because...?

I am very sensitive about how others feel about me, or my work, and let's just say that I kind of got a super negative review.

Kyo: So you're gonna punish your fans because someone hurt your thin-skinned self. *sarcastically* Yeah, that makes a hell of a lot of sense.

I really can't blame her or him, because she made some good points, but it still hurts.

Cassy: *plays on a tiny violin*
Kaoru: You all are quite cold...

I mean, that was my very first attempt at a fic.

Kyo, Cassy: Bingo!
Cassy: Kaoru, count those!
Kaoru: Why?
Cassy: Dude, these are signs, too! Whenever a Suethor or Stuthor gets critiques, they flail around and throw the "I'm sensitive!" or the "This was my first fanfic!" cards while writing an author's note like that and punishing the readers in the process!
Kaoru: I can't do that, Cassy.
Cassy: What? Why?
Kaoru: Because I'm counting bad fanfic signs. These are just your typical "author poorly reacts to criticism" signs.
Cassy: Oh.

I'm still considering, but there's a big possibility that I may just discontinue.

Miyuki: Considering that this is the last chapter, we all know what happened there.

I hope you understand.

Benimaru: I can't understand a Stephenie Meyer type flounce.
Cassy: Dude, this was written three years before her "Breaking Dawn" flounce.
Benimaru: Huh. Well, isn't that odd.

If you have anything to say about the matter, then just let me know via review or email. Like I said before, I am really sorry.

Kyo: No, you aren't. If you were sorry, you'd say that you'd take a small break and come right back. But nope. Just had to go and flounce.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or anything.

… - Anna's telepathic bond

/…/ - Sakura's telepathic bond

'…' - thoughts

Italics - dreaming

Recap:

"We should," Sailor Mars said. "I want some answers and I'm getting them." She went out the door and jumped onto a nearby roof. The others looked at one another and then followed.

Kyo: Okay, why--
Cassy, Benimaru, Miyuki: *in a bored tone* "Why the hell is that there?" We know.
Kyo: Y... yeah.

CHAPTER NINE

When they were about a block away from the outers' mansion, they jumped off the roof into an alley and de-transformed.

Kaoru: I'm wondering why they didn't de-transform when they got into the mansion.
Cassy: It'd be too obvious.

They walked the rest of the way, and once they were at the door, they rang the doorbell. After a few moments, the door opened, and they were greeted by Hotaru.

Kyo: *deadpan* Thrilling.

"Come in," she said, a small smile on her face.

"Hotaru, what's going on?" Raye asked as they walked in.

"You'll find out soon," she said, leading them into the living room. When all of them were in, they saw Sakura sitting in the middle of one of the couches.

Cassy: Of course she had to sit in the middle! The middle is where everyone gets the most attention, after all.

Amara and Michelle was sitting on one side of her while Hotaru and Trista sat on the other side.

Kaoru: *changes "was" to "were"*

Sakura looked up when Hotaru led the others inside. "Come sit down and have some refreshments," she said, gesturing towards the table that had a plate of cookies and cups of tea in front of them.

Miyuki: Don't! The Sue poisoned the drinks!
Kaoru: That's probably why I'd bring my own refreshments.

When Serena saw the food, she sat down and instantly started stuffing her mouth with the cookies.

Benimaru: Okay, this is driving me nuts. Is Serena always like that?
Cassy: Not all of the time. I think the Suethor's just doing that to make her Sue look better in comparison.
Benimaru: It's not working for me.

The others sweat dropped but sat down too. "Tea?" Michelle asked. The inners shook their heads but she poured Amara, Trista, Hotaru, Sakura, and herself a cup.

Miyuki: That's 'cause they know that it's a poisoned brainwashing drink.

"Who are you really, Sakura?" Lita demanded.

Kyo: A parasite.

As she took a sip of tea, a silver star started to appear on her forehead.

Benimaru: *facepalms* Really?

"You have known me as Sailor Star in battle," she said, transforming at the same time. Everyone gasped except for the outers, who already knew.

Kaoru: And the audience already knew.
Cassy: Now we're just bored.

"Galactica, you can come in now," she said, eyes sparkling.

Benimaru: Did someone throw a vat of glitter into her eyes for this part?

In a sparkle of golden light, Galactica appeared behind Sailor Star.

Kyo: Who the hell is she?
Miyuki: The other Sue. Oddly, she got punted to the side because she's not as great as the super Sue who hogged most of the spotlight.
Kyo: You're saying that a Sue got overshadowed by another Sue?
Miyuki: Yeah. Scary, huh?

Everyone gasped. "How long have you been here?" Amy asked.

Benimaru: Let me guess. She's gonna say, "I've been here all along!", right?

"I've been here all along," she said, her voice filled with mirth.

Everyone except Benimaru: *looks at Benimaru*
Benimaru: *sighs* I've been around the other Kyo for too long, haven't I?
Kaoru: That and it's a rather cliché fanfiction.

"Anyways, I am not really Sailor Star. My name is really Sailor Cosmos," Sailor Cosmos said. She then stood up. "But that is not all," she said.

Kyo: There's more of this crap?
Cassy: Yeah, and you're not gonna like it.

"I am also known as," there was a flash of silver light, "Princess Selenity Sakura Moon Cosmos of the Moon Kingdom." She was now in her princess dress, and she gave a deep curtsy.

Cassy: *looks at Kyo*
Kyo: *stares at the screen* I swear... *a truck goes by and drowns Kyo's voice out as he rants* ...kinda nonsense is that? Are you kidding me?
Kaoru: *as she sips her tea* No, she wasn't kidding. That's her full name.
Kyo: It's a stupid name.
Benimaru: Yeah, the other Kyo's look said enough for me when he relayed that info.

On her forehead, a small, golden crescent moon had emerged in the center of the star.

Miyuki: Who's the "her"? The Sue or the Sue flunky?
Cassy: At this point, I don't care, dude.

There was a flash of golden light behind Sakura. "And I am Princess Lexi Anna Galaxia of the galaxy." In place of Galactica was the princess from Serena's dreams. "To anyone else, I am known as Anna Lexi."

Kyo: Did the Suethor pull these names out a of a hat? Or out of a "Maury" baby name generator?
Benimaru: No, "Maury" baby names are much worse than this.

Before anyone could question them, their symbols glowed and shot beams of light to the symbols on the inners and Serena's forehead. Soon, everyone's memories were restored.

"Saku!" Serena cried out. She rushed over to Sakura and gave her a bone-crushing hug. "I've missed you so much!"

Miyuki: Well, the fox boy's right. She is a parasite.

Sakura started to turn a little blue. "Um, Sere, I can't breathe," she got out.

Cassy: Keep choking her, Serena! Maybe this fic can end sooner!

"Oops!" Serena said, letting go. Sakura sighed in relief. "Hehe, sorry. I guess I couldn't control myself."

"It's okay, Serena," Sakura said, de-transforming along with Anna. "I understand."

Lita spoke up. "So, Anna," she began, "what have you two been doing the past hundreds of years?"

Kyo: Seething... finding ways to destroy humanity...
Cassy: And you just described yourself.
Kyo: Hey, there are people who are a lot worse than I am.
Cassy: Surprisingly.

"Well, we've mostly been training," said Anna.

Kaoru: That must've been some lackluster training when you remember the wall incident from earlier...

"What was with those transformations earlier?" Mina asked, grabbing a cookie and munching on it.

"Oh, that," Sakura said, looking thoughtful. "That will be your final transformations."

"Saku can't give you your final transformations, but you'll receive them soon," added Anna.

"She's right," Sakura said. "You'll get them when the time is right.

Benimaru: Uh... how about you power them up now instead of waiting until a crisis?
Miyuki: That's logic. Stop that!

Later that night

"So," Anna said, putting her bowl and chopsticks down, "who's going to do the dishes tonight?"

Sakura set her bowl and chopsticks down, too. "I'll wash the dishes, but you'll help clean the table up." She stood up and took her bowl and chopsticks to the kitchen.

Cassy: *groans* Not another useless filler scene that leads to the Sue knowing that a youma's nearby...
Kyo: Then why the hell am I here if you already know what's gonna happen?
Cassy: Because I hate you sometimes.
Kyo: I hate you too, you jerkass cat.

"Sure," Anna said, following her with her own stuff. They both set the utensils in the sink. Next, Sakura wet a small rag and handed it to Anna.

Miyuki: *bangs her head on the table*

"Here," she said. "Wipe the table so that it is clean." Anna took the rag and left. Sakura started to do the dishes, and soon enough, they were all done.

Benimaru: *bored* Will the Sues defeat the dishes? Find out next time.

As she was exiting the kitchen, she stopped in mid-step. Anna suddenly rushed into the room. "Did you-" I started to ask.

She nodded. "Yes," Anna said. "A large amount of evil somewhere downtown."

Kaoru: This is tedious.
Kyo: You're tellin' me.

"Yes. It feels like there are more than one youma there. You go ahead. I need to contact the outers and have them contact the inners," Sakura said.

Kyo: Okay, that doesn't make any sense. I have a question, ladies and Benimaru. Can the actual non-Mary Sue Senshi figure out if a youma's around?
Cassy: Yeah, but they have to be in the area to notice it.
Kyo: Huh. Well, this is crap, then.
Cassy: Tell us something that we don't know.

Sakura's POV

I watched as Anna transformed into Sailor Galactica and teleport out of here. Then, I closed my eyes and concentrated on Michelle.

/Michelle./ I thought after I found her.

'Yes, Sakura?' I heard Michelle respond. 'Is there something wrong?'

Miyuki: Yeah. It's this whole fic.

I sighed mentally. /Unfortunately, there is. Anna and I sensed lots of evil vibes somewhere downtown.

Benimaru: Wait, you don't know where they are exactly? I thought that you Sues were supposed to know everything!

We're guessing that there are more than one youma there.

Cassy: I thought that you two said that there were more than one! Now you're just "guessing"? Oh, please, dude!

Anna already transformed and went ahead of me. I need you to contact the others and meet us there./ I told her.

'Yes, Sakura. Neptune out.'

Kyo: Damn it, Michelle. You are not Ryan Seacrest.
Kaoru: Let's also hope that Michelle was not in a public area. If she was, then she just revealed her identity.
Kyo: Sues really know how to make people stupid, huh?
Kaoru: Unfortunately.

I sighed out loud. This will be a long battle.

Cassy: *as Sakura* Yeah, I can't believe that I have to actually work and save innocent people! Jesus, this is lame!

"Cosmos…Star…POWER!" I called out. I transformed and then teleported to where I could sense Galactica's aura. I opened my eyes and my eyes widened when I saw that I was in the center of about fifty youma.

Benimaru: Fifty? Well, who's writing their obituaries?
Miyuki: I'm not.
Cassy: Nope.
Kyo: *scoffs* Screw them.
Benimaru: Kaoru?
Kaoru: *shakes her head*
Benimaru: I'm not doing that, either. Oh, well.

I looked behind me to see Sailor Galactica with a few bruises on her body with her fuku a bit torn up.

Kyo: *begins snapping pictures*
Cassy: *drags Kyo away*
Kyo: Just a few more pictures, Cass!
Cassy: No! Why do you like to snap pictures of Sues and Stus getting beaten up?
Kyo: Because I like to see them writhing in pain.
Cassy: You're... pretty creepy, dude.
Kyo: This is coming from the cat who sleeps in a coffin and has blood vials in a mini fridge in her room. Yeah, okay, hypocrite.

"Oh, crap," I muttered. "Are you all right, Galactica?" I said a little louder.

She nodded. "They're a lot stronger than the others, and it doesn't help that there are about fifty of them."

Kaoru: Well, there's a saying about strength in numbers.
Miyuki: I'm confused. If these Sues are supposed to be stronger than Sailor Moon in her Eternal form, then why do these two useless peons keep getting beaten up?
Kaoru: I can't answer that question properly, Miyuki.

I thought quickly.

Cassy: Thinking? That's a first.

'I hope this will work,' I thought. I took off my earrings and threw them both to the air high above me. They stayed airborne and exploded in a bright flash of light. It blinded the youma, but not anyone else because they didn't have evil intentions.

Benimaru: *facepalms* That makes zero sense. Light should blind everyone.
Kaoru: It's probably a weaker Silver Crystal.

I turned back to Galactica, who had gotten healed by the light.

Benimaru: *muffled* And the light heals as well? This is stupid. End this fic.

"Let's team up against them," I suggested.

Kyo: That's not a suggestion, dumbass.
Cassy: And you're not smart for coming to that conclusion, because teamwork's a huge part of the series, Sue.

She smiled and nodded. "GALACTIC TEAR OF PLANETS!" she cried out.

"COSMOS STAR OF DESTRUCTION!" I cried out. The two beams combined, destroying five of the youma.

Kaoru: Forty-five to go. And considering what's left of this fic... that's not going to be accomplished, unfortunately.

"Mars Inferno Ring!"

"Jupiter Thunderstorm Strike!"

Miyuki: Yeah, that DiC dub really rubbed off on everyone, didn't it?
Cassy: Obviously.

Galactica and I turned around to see the two attacks hit one of the youma. Unfortunately, the youma had a tough, crystal-like surface, and the attacks bounced off of it.

Kyo: Well, duh! They're not Mary Sues, so they're made to fail in this crap!
Benimaru: Jesus, this is so painful.

The reflected attacks headed straight for one of my earrings and shattered it!

Cassy: *plays tiny violin*

"No!" I cried out as half the youma got their eyesight back and started attacking the inners and outers that arrived.

Kaoru: At least we weren't watching "Attack on Titan".
Miyuki: Yeah, somebody would've been bitten in half after this.
Kyo: Hopefully the Sues.

I heard a scream and turned around to see Sailor Moon, injured, and the youma ready to finish her off.

Benimaru: That's it?
Miyuki: Yeah, that's it. What a lame way to end this, man.
Cassy: Starting to wonder that the Suethor got so mad after that review that she just left Sailor Moon herself hanging as punishment.
Kyo: That's pretty damn sad if that's the case.
Kaoru: No, I'm pretty sure that she would've been saved. After all, this fic did have its share of poorly written cliffhangers. Which reminds me... that's the twenty-sixth sign.
Cassy: Yeah, that's true. And that's awful. Twenty-six signs?
Kaoru: Yes. I'm just glad that it's over now.
Benimaru: You're telling me. I'm getting out of here now. *stops for a second* Hey, wait. Wasn't Prince Diamond supposed to come back? Where the heck did he go?
Miyuki: My theory is that he couldn't take the insanity and just ran out of the fic.
Kyo: Makes sense to me.

--

Go Back to Part Four
Go Back to Interns Page
Go Back to Episode List
Go Back to Main MST 'EM Page