Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Egg Spiral Crew, Episode 11: Kii and the Mirror of Chaos

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I do not own any of the Sonic character or the chaos emeralds they are copyrighted to Sonic Team.

Sonic: Thank god.
Sonia: Sonic...

Kii and the Mirror of Chaos are copyrighted to me.

Sonia: Nope, you cannot copyright a fic if there are any official characters in it. The ideas are yours, though.

I don't care what anyone says about me putting my original characters into this fic; I am doing this for my own amusement. Have fun and enjoy!

Amy: We don't care if you put your characters in it. We'll only hate them if they're Sues.
Sonic: I wonder if this'll also translate to "I'm not gonna listen to your critiques, either!"
Manic: Oh, well.

Chapter Ichi

Manic: You... you're not striking a good chord with us, dude.

A young peony hedgehog ran through a forest.

Manic: Uh... what color's a peony?
Sonia: They're various colors, Manic.
Amy: Great, we'll have to play "Guess The Color" now!

Lightning ripped the night sky as the storm continued. She was scared, the young girl knew those two meant to kill her.

Sonic: Let me know when that's a bad thing.

She rested by a tree, panting and wincing in pain, there were cuts and scratches all over both her arms, blood trailed down the side of her face, her lungs and ribs ached as if on fire.

All: Kyo LeMaire did it.

It didn't help that the wind pelted her face and the cold wind chilled her soaked body, she shivered and hugged herself.

Though the sleeves of her kimono were long, she was still shivering. The wind played with her bangs and quills and she took out the item her two followers wanted.

Sonia: Note to Suethors: Japan doesn't exist in the Sonic universe. Stop it.

It was a round mirror incased in stone, around the mirror surface was four small emerald shards, hanging by a chain was a small silver blade. She clutched the mirror close.

It was known as the Mirror of Chaos, its powers were unknown to those who hold it, but it was well known that it can grant anyone and everyone's desire... but for a price... small desires... small amount of blood, medium desires... medium amount of blood, big desires... a sacrifice.

Sonic: Can we sacrifice her before this gets any worse?
Amy: Sonic... did you visit either of the Kyos before we began this riffing?
Sonic: Nope, I visited Keiko.
Amy: That's just as bad.

It was given to her by an older hedgehog woman to protect with her very life. The girl furled and unfurled her elegant wings and winced in pain, one of her wings was broken.

Sonic, Sonia, Amy: ...
Manic: What the heck? Wings?! Jeez, we have an Angel Sue over here!

Her one desire was to fly, the mirror granted it to her, it gave her long flowing wings that when they are closed, the tips brushed the ground, most of the wings were white while the tips were emerald green, the mirror's signature. She held the mirror close and memories of how the kind old Shrine Priestess had taken her in and had entrusted her with the mirror.

Amy: Something tells me that I should clip them.
Sonia: We all should, Amy.

=========== FLASHBACK ===========

Manic: Flashbacks and more! Tonight, at the Apollo!

"Now child, listen and listen well. This mirror is a rare treasure that was found many years ago. It has great powers that even I can not understand. If in the right hand, it can be used for good… but if it falls into the wrong hands… it can be used for evil. I am entrusting this with you."

Sonic: We've barely started, and I have three clichés already thrown into my face here!

"Why me?"

"Because child, I believe that you can keep this safe from those who wants it to harm others."

"I… I can't take this…"

"Please child, promise me that you will protect this mirror."

"… I… promise…"

Sonia: Well, that was a huge whiplash of moods.

=========== END OF FLASHBACK ===========

Amy: I can see my name in lights now...

She clutched the mirror close as she remembered these two people came into the old lady's house, demanding for them to hand over the mirror, to where the old priestess told her to grab the mirror and run. She got of the house, but they caught her and tried to force her to give them the mirror. The peony teen refused and managed to get out of their grasp and elude them 'til now.

Manic: Dude, what the hell color are you?
Amy: And if you're a "peony teen", does that make you a plant?
Sonic: That's why we don't use flowery prose to describe everyone, guys.

Her sensitive ears caught a tree branch snapping, she turned to the noise and ran. She neared a lake and she clenched her eyes tight as more lightning ripped through the sky and thunder followed. She stepped on a slimy rock and twisted her ankle.

Sonic: What is this, a crappy B-Horror movie?
Sonia: *rolling her eyes* Wonderful. We're nowhere near finished with the first chapter, and this fanfic's already failed on us.

She yelped in pain and fell forward, the mirror fell out of her hands and rolled towards a lake. The teen got up and limped after the mirror, she grabbed it and held it close. Her shoulder heaved as tears spilled out of the corner of her eyes. A voice like a comforting whisper like that of a sweet gentle song floated to her ears.

Sonia: *gives a bored sigh*
Manic: Someone needs to fix those tear ducts.
Sonic: *fluffing one of the couch's pillows* Good night, all.
Amy: But... it's noon...
Sonic: Eh, at least it's curing my nonexistent insomnia.

- Girl… what is the matter?-

She shook her head and replied "I… I can not do this… I am so sorry mirror…" silence between the two last for a minute when the mirror replied back – I understand…- she slowly stood up on shaky legs and limped over to a pile of rocks. She held the mirror high over her head and tried to force her arms to bring the mirror down, she soon lowered her arms and slid to the wet muddy forest ground and sat there as the rain pounded down on her "I can not do it… I just can not." She said weakly.

Amy: *grumbling*
Manic: *rolls his eyes*
Sonic: *snores*
Sonia: *in a really high-pitched voice* Oh, I can do this! Oh, wait, I suddenly can't any more! *normal voice* Will you just make up your mind already?!
Sonic: *quickly wakes up* Whoa! You're flying off the handle, sis!
Sonia: Sorry, Sonic. It's just irritating me a little, that's all.

She heard noises again and fear appeared in her eyes "They are coming!"

Amy: Yep, the Anti-Mary Sue and Gary Stu Gallery's here.

she looked down at the mirror again "I can not let them have you…" she placed the mirror down and said "Mirror of Chaos… I provoke your powers, hear my voice! Show me my one desire!"

Manic: I'd like to get on with the darn thing. That's my desire.

the reflected surface glowed and it showed the peony girl

Sonic: Yes, we got it, author... she's a plant or some crap.

disappearing from the forest and reappearing somewhere safe – You wish for us to be away from here in a safe place.- the mirror answered "Yes." And she reached to press a forearm to the mirror, when she realizes that her cuts had stopped bleeding, so she reached for the blade.

Before she placed a finger on it, "Stop right there!"

All: *groans*
Sonic: Thanks for padding this crap out. Thanks a lot, you jerks.

she whirled to see her two pursuers five feet from her, one was unarmed, but the other had a crossbow in her hands "This is becoming tiresome,

All: *annoyed* We know!

just give us the mirror and we'll let you go." The teen slowly shook her head and screamed "No! I will not let you have my mirror!" she turned back to the mirror and felt pain flare through her right shoulder.

Amy: This girl's an idiot. She knows that one of them has a crossbow, but she turns her back to them and basically says, "Hey, shoot me!"?
Sonic: Yeah, too bad Darwin's sleeping through all of this, Ames.

Her eyes widen and she slumped to the forest floor she placed a shaky hand to her shoulder and came away with blood, she turned to the mirror and saw that lots of her blood had spill on the mirror. She reached for it as the mirror began to glow, her vision swam and once she pulled the mirror in her embrace, the glow engulfed her and vanished before the two pursuers eyes.

Amy: Um... what the heck just happened?
Sonia: She poetically vanished.
Manic: Hey, I didn't know that run-on sentences were so poetic.

Tails Prower yawns and sat up from his work. He had been working for hours and he needed a break. He went outside in the cool air, it was so peaceful that night. "It's so nice tonight, I wonder if the others are enjoying it as well." Tails spoke to soon, the night sky rumbled as if telling a storm was coming.

Sonic: It was called "Padding".

The wind picked up and shook the palm trees, Tail fought the wind and looked up at the sky "Odd, there was no sign of a storm and no one said there was one coming any time soon." He said to himself.

Sonia: All right... drop down, Mary Sue.

Lightning flared and more thunder rumbled. "Wow!" Tails exclaimed as his eyes widen. A large lightning ripped through the sky and Tails saw someone fall out of the sky and landed in the lake. "Did I see someone…?" Tails took off for the lake to help the person.

Amy: Nope. You didn't see anything. Don't bother looking.

The peony teen

Manic: Yes, it's very powerful and beautiful.
Sonia: *rolls her eyes*

felt cold water press around her, she let her breath out and choked on water, she blinked up at the watery surface, she hadn't the strength to bring herself to the surface, as she began to drown, when she thought she saw someone dive into the water, everything went black after that.

Sonic: Yeah, that's nice. Can you die now, please?
Amy: I'd rather riff "The Kathryn Show" again.
Manic: *drinking a glass of water* No, you don't.
Sonia: *looks at Manic* Oh, the irony.

She opened her weary eyes and stared confused at where she was. "Where… where am I…?" she said hoarsely.

Sonia: Unfortunately, you're not in a coffin.

The door creaked open and a young kitsune appeared before her "You're awake, I was worried that you wouldn't…" he said and she saw in his eyes that he was telling the truth. "Where am I?" she asked him "You're in my home in the Mystic Ruins." He answered. She felt tired and sighed "What… happened…?" it hurt to talk "You fell out of the sky." He told her

Manic: Like an angel... oh, wait. Dang it.

"I… did?" and he nodded "Did you… rescue me?" "Yeah." "Thank… you…" she told him.

"You welcome. I'm Tails, what's yours?" Tails asked "My name… is… Kii…" she told him "Pretty name." he noticed that Kii's eyes were closing "You should sleep, sorry for talking to you and keeping you up." He gave a friendly smile and said "Goodnight Kii." And he left.

Amy: And then he thought about her leaving his workshop the very next day so canon could be preserved. He had already dealt with one horrible canon warper, and he didn't have the energy to go through another one...

Kii felt so tired and ached, especially in the heart

Sonia: Someone seriously needs to see a cardiologist.

/Tails seems so nice… such nice things never last with me… once I am healed… he will have me leave…/ tears ran down her face as she felt sleep take hold on her.

Manic: The wangst! It burns!
Sonic: Cassy? Where's Cassy? I need her to deliver some razorblades!

As soon as Tails left Kii to sleep, he went to the phone and dialed Sonic's number again. He waited for counted the dial and hoped Sonic was home "Please be home Sonic…" he begged. He was about to put the phone down when "Hello? Sonic speaking." "Hey Sonic, it's me Tails." "Hey Tails! What with the call so late at night?" Sonic asked "Well… did you see the strange storm an hour ago?" "Yeah. What about it?" I think you should come over tomorrow, there's someone I want you see…" next to Tails was Kii's mirror.

Sonia: Yes, and she has now turned Tails's workshop into some sort of Furry Sue Zoo. Wonderful.

End of Chapter Ichi

Amy: Can you end my padding tourture?

Ok, I don't own any of the Sonic characters or the Chaos Emeralds, they are copyrighted to Sonic Team.

Kii and the Mirror of Chaos are copyrighted to me.

Manic: No, it ain't.

A/N: I will never accept Sonic and Amy as a couple, I am sorry Amy fans and SonicXAmy fans, she is just to annoying and creepy to me… and way too obsessive for my taste… and I hate pink! X(

Sonia, Amy: And we hate you.
Manic: Grrrl Powah!
Sonic: Oh, yeah. You can tell that this stuff was written in '04. Japan abuse, hatred of the color pink... what's next? I'm gay? Not that there's anything wrong with the last one, of course.
Sonia: Don't tempt the fic, Sonic. Besides, the Suethor's argument of disliking Amy was fine... until she got to that biased pink hatred. After that, she just lost all credibility in my eyes.
Sonic: She didn't have any credibility to begin with. What are you talking about?
Sonia: Oh. Right.

Chapter Ni

Sonia: No, it's two. Chapter. Two. Put both words in Japanese if you want to use it in that language.

It was a nice afternoon.

Amy: It wasn't over here... it's cold and windy. And it snowed earlier.

The train stopped at the Mystic Ruin train station and a few people got off, one of these travelers was the blue hero, Sonic the Hedgehog. He stretched and said "Man, these train rides are long and tiring."

Sonic: Uh... I'm supposed to be the fastest thing alive... and I'm taking... a train? Yeah, sure.
Manic: Well, you did that in "Sonic Adventure".
Sonic: Yeah, but still... I'm taking... a train.

He didn't bother with taking the stairs, he jumped off the platform and landed on his feet. Sonic began humming his favorite song as he headed for Tails house.

Amy: *hums "Escape From The City"*
Sonia: *hums "It Doesn't Matter"*
Manic: Nobody really knows...

"Hey Sonic." Sonic stopped and looked up to see Knuckles glide down next to him "What brings you to the Mystic Ruins?" Knuckles asked "Tails called me last night, he told me that he found someone." Sonic answered

Sonia: Why does it feel like I'm getting a tumor or an aneurysm instead of a callback?
Sonic: Ouch. You may want to get that checked out, sis... it may be colored white or something.

"That can't be the only reason that you came." Knuckles added Sonic sighed "Amy is getting worse…" "What? Has she become a stalker now?" Knuckles grinned jokingly and Sonic just stared at him.

Knuckles smile vanished when he saw the look in Sonic's eyes "You're kidding?" gasped Knuckles, gawking at the blue hero.

Sonic sighed again and shook his head "She's always outside my apartment waiting for me, always asking me to marry her, leaving disgusting phone messages and emails… and now… she found some way to make a copy of my apartment key! I had to change the lock."

Amy: When did I turn into Edward Cullen?
Sonic: I don't know, Ames... it's just the author being a biased jerk.

Knuckles shook his head in pity for the blue hedgehog, he knew Sonic preference was males… the red echidna never figured out why until now… the pink annoying hedgehog had turned him against the female population.

Manic: *flatly* What.
Sonia: We now have some severe character bashing here.
Sonic: And the Suethor's credibility hits the negatives. Great work.
Amy: Is this because I'm pink?
Manic: Yes, it's definitely 'cause you're pink.

Knuckles placed a hand on the hedgehog's shoulder "I'm sorry Sonic, if you need a place to stay, you can come over and crash at mine." Sonic smiled at his friend "Thanks Knux."

Sonia: Um... did you ever think about calling the police so they could arrest our out of character friend?
Sonic, Manic, Amy: Nope. We can't have common sense.

They got to Tails' house and Sonic knocked on the door, after a while Tails opened it. Sonic and Knuckles was about to greet him when they stopped, Tails had a worried look in his eyes "Sonic! Knuckles! I'm glad you both came." "What's wrong Tails?" Sonic asked "You know when I told you I found someone last night and how I saved her from drowning?" Tails asked "Yeah." Sonic answered a little confuse "Well, I think… you better come in and see… she's doesn't look to good." He beckoned for them to follow.

Amy: Why don't you just send her to a hospital, guys?
Sonic, Sonia, Manic: Nope. We can't have common sense.

He led them to his bedroom, Tails went towards the bed, Sonic and Knuckles stood at the door way, gawking at what they saw. They couldn't believe their eyes. In Tails's bed was a purple hedgehog girl with green bangs,

Amy: There's our color! Thank you!
Sonic: Yeah, and they're stupid Microsoft Paint colors to boot.

they saw that her arms were wrapped in bandages and one was wrapped across her forehead, as they stepped farther in, they noticed three small black dots under both her eyes and two more between her eyes, a large bandage crossing her right shoulder to around her chest, but what got took them by surprise was the two wings beneath her.

Manic: Blasted Gold Wing drinks.

"She… she has wings…"

Manic: *opens a Gold Wing can* Whoo, I'm going to be so wired today!

Sonic said aloud "I'm not blind… she's a hedgehog right? My eyes aren't playing tricks on me right?" Knuckles asked in disbelief

Sonia: Personally, I'd vomit in disgust.

"Yes, she is." Tails answered placing a towel into a bowl of ice cold water "A hedgehog with wings…" Sonic whisper and turned from her wings to see her face, he was jolted at how she looked.

Amy: "Sonic"? Last time I checked, "you" were now gay. So why are "you" fawning over this Sue?
Sonic: Ask the Suethor. You may want to wait, because she's screwing Japan up at the moment.
Manic: *scratches his back* Oh, crap. Guys... I think I just sprouted some wings from that drink.
Sonic: Told you not to buy that black market garbage, bro.
Sonia: *brushes one of Manic's wings away from her face* Oh, that's just great, Manic! First you explode from a crummy sex line, and now you've sprouted wings from a crappy drink! What the heck is happening with you lately?
Manic: I don't know, but I'm kind of liking these wings, sis. I just hope they go away by the end of the day or something.

Kii chest rose fast, her breathing was fast and rapid, sweat matted her fur and rolled down her face, her eyes were clenched tight. Sonic placed a hand on her forehead and even through his glove, he felt how hot her forehead was. He pulled away "Is she alright?" Knuckles asked, he too noticed how bad she looked "I don't think so… I think Kii has a fever or something." Tails told them as he placed the towel on her forehead.

Amy: *holds up a picture of a hospital* Hello?! Idiots!

Kii grimaced and clutched at the bed sheets "Her shoulder… what happened to… Kii?" Sonic asked "Her arms are covered in cuts and scratches, I think she might've broken a rib or two, her wing was broken, her forehead was bleeding, and she twisted an ankle, those wounds stopped bleeding… but her shoulder… she was shot… I don't think it was a bullet… if it was, it went through her shoulder, but it's still bleeding… and she's sick." Tails explain.

All: Would you get the Sue to a freaking hospital already?!
Sonia: And if she's bleeding all over the place, she should have already died from blood loss. Unfortunately, she's another one of those angelic wangst Sues.

Kii coughed and went back to breathing hard.

Manic: I know I'm going to sound like a jackass for this, but... dude, why can't you just croak already? Stop the dramatics.

The hedgehog and echidna stare at the girl with sad eyes, to go though all that in one night.

Amy: Aww, poor Sue. Let me get my violin so I can play my "I Don't Give a Crap" requiem for you.

"Don't you have any medicine?" Sonic asked and Tails shook his slowly "No… I would go to Station Square and get some… but I was worried that when I was gone…" Tails gulped and continued "I called you an hour ago, but you didn't answer. I figured you were on your way here." Tails looked even more worry.

Sonic: And the Sue died thanks to the crummy efforts of Doctor Moron and his little morons.
Sonia, Manic, Amy: Good.

If Sonic hadn't left his apartment at that hour, he would've gotten the medicine for the peony girl.

All: *irritated* Shut up with the "peony" crap!
Manic: Criminy!

"Dun worry Tails," Sonic said smiling at his friend "I'll go now and get it. I'm the fastest thing alive." Tails sighed "Great, I made a list… please hurry…" he handed Sonic the list.

Amy: He was sent to retrieve the following items... padding, fail, stupidity, random sexual orientations...

He scanned the list, nodded and turns to Knuckles "You coming Red?" Knuckles stared at Sonic and said "I'll stay here and help Tails." "Ok." Sonic replied and brushed a strand of stray hair from Kii's face. She made a small sound, almost like a sigh which made Sonic smile. She was cute, like a little sister.

Sonia: *folds her arms* I don't know anyone who would find that horrendous abomination "cute".
Amy: I swear, if the Sues aren't wearing badly done clothes while tearing other women down under the guise of "empowerment", they almost always have wings.
Manic: *plays with his wings* Yeah, I know. Mary Sue empowers one person only... Mary Sue.

Once he pulled his hand away, he ran out of Tails house and took the train back to Station Square.

Sonic: I'd rather get the train to run me over so I can avoid reading the rest of this crap.

Once the train stopped and the doors open, a blue blur exit the station. He ran all over the city looking for the Pharmacy Shop. He came across Amy, but he didn't stop for her, he didn't care if he was rude to her, he just found the fan girl annoying and he NEEDED to get the medicine.

Manic, Amy: No, you don't.
Sonic: Just let her die. Jeez.
Sonia: And hooray for even more Amy bashing! Why don't you burn some of the Sonic/Amy shippers at the stake while you're at it, author? You seem to be very close to doing that.

He found the Pharmacy Shop and upon entering, an employee greeted him "Welcome and what can I get you?" she asked "I need the stuff on this list." He told her handing her the list. She read each items and said "Yes sir, I'll get these for you. Wait one moment." And she went to get them.

Manic: Gasp as Sonic gets pharmacy medicine!

Sonic tapped his finger on the counter impatiently. The employee came back with the items in a bag, once Sonic paid, he left the Shop and was about to leave "Sonic." Sonic turned to see Shadow and Espio walking towards "Hey Shadow, hey Espio." The ninja nodded to him "What were you doing in the Pharmacy? Shadow asked "Not now, I'm in a hurry. Have to get this medicine to Kii." He smiled and took off. Shadow and Espio turned to each other in bewilderment "Key? They both wondered.

The train ride felt like it took forever to get to the Mystic Ruins,

All: Why are you still taking the train, you moron?!

Sonic finally off and went back to Tails house, he enter and presented the bag to Tails. "Here they are Tails." He said nearly out of breath. "Thanks Sonic."

Sonic: *as Tails* I could've gotten them myself, but I'm too stupid to even leave my own house!
Amy: How can he be out of breath if he took the train?
Manic: Hey, sitting's exhausting. Whoo, burning two calories is so hard!

As they came into the room, Knuckles was replacing the towel on Kii's forehead. "You're back." "And with the medicine."

Sonic, Manic, Amy: Dur-hay!
Sonia: *rubs her forehead* Oh, dear heavens... these people would certainly fail a basic math test.

Later that night, Knuckles and Sonic decided to stay and help care for Kii.

Amy: Unfortunately, one of them somehow lopped her head off.
Sonia: Oh, well.

At that time Tails showed them the mirror. Sonic turned it in his hands "Odd mirror. Especially one with… emerald shards around the face." He said looking at his reflection "I find the blade… a little disturbing." Said Knuckles

Sonic: This fic is disturbing. How the hell do you bleed all over the place, have all of those injuries, and still not die?!

"So, where did you get this?" Sonic asked Tails "It was with Kii." He told them and Knuckles and Sonic stared at each other "Are you thinking…" "That she might be…" they shrug off the thought that Kii could possibly depress or worse

Manic: Read the angsty thoughts that she had earlier, and there's your answer.

"Have you ever seen a mirror like this, Knuckles?" Knuckles shook his head "Never saw anything like this mirror in my life." Knuckles answered taking the mirror from Sonic "It looks like a regular mirror." Sonic said "I don't think so, I feel some kind of power from this mirror." Knuckles told them

Sonia: *as the author* Did I mention that it was a mirror? I did? Well, let me say it again!

"Odd… I guess we're going to have to wait for Kii to get better and ask her." "Speaking of that, who's going to watch over her first?"

Amy: The Grim Reaper.

Once they decided, it was Sonic first, then Tails and Knuckles was last. Each shift lasted for four hours and the last person to watch over the young hedgehog had to wake the next person.

Sonia: Apparently, we're in 1841... actually, that's wonderful. Maybe she could switch places with William Henry Harrison; it would make our lives a whole lot easier.

Sonic closed the door behind him and brought a chair closer to the bed. Kii was sleeping more soundly, but she still had a fever. Sonic wet the towel, wrung it, and placed it on her forehead. It was sad that someone would hurt this girl.

Manic: No, it wasn't.

Sonic placed a timid hand on her cheek. Kii sighed and took his hand in hers. "You are so much like a little sister… I just might consider you as one." Sonic told her and he couldn't help smile at the thought.

Sonia: I refuse to replaced by that... whatever that Sue is.

End of Chapter Ni

Sonic: *gets up* And that's the story of my hilariously warped life. I think I'm going to go outside and drown myself in the snow or something.
Manic: *gets up* Dude, maybe I should join you... well, without the drowining part. I can actually make angel wings, you know!
Sonic: *walks out of the living room* Eh, fine with me.
Manic: All right! *joins Sonic outside*
Amy: *looks at the Gold Wing can* Sonia, was that Manic's only can?
Sonia: Yes. Why?
Amy: I just thought that maybe I'd look a little cuter with wings.
Sonia: That's what fanart's for, Amy.

--

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