Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Egg Spiral Crew, Episode 13: Coming Home (Part One)

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chapter 1

Coming Home A/N this is my first so please be kind but also honest, thanks

Sonic: Will be be kind? Nope. Honest? Heck, yeah.

"But what if they don't like me?" Colleen asked for about the tenth time since the plane landed in the Detroit airport.

Sonia: I already don't like you. Especially since you asked ten times already.

"They're going to love you." Randy sighed taking her hand in his own. "Besides, they'll be so happy to see me they won't even notice you." He joked.

Amy: Uh... that wasn't a really funny joke.
Manic: I just find it odd that the sarcastic Taylor brother... is not using good sarcasm here. I think he's already down. Reboot him!

"Very funny. But seriously, they won't mind that you're bringing someone home after being in Costa Rica over a year?" She stopped him at the end of the terminal.
"I told them I met someone and they're thrilled. They know you're coming to stay with us." He reassured her. "Okay? Can we go find them now?"

Manic: No, as a matter of fact, just live in the airport. Live off of all the stuff at Cinnabon.

"Yea let's go." She let out a sigh as they continued to the baggage claim. They grabbed their things and quickly headed to the spot where they were to meet Randy's family.
"Randy! Randy over here!" Jill, Randy's mom yelled as best she could over the crowd. Randy squeezed Colleen's hand slightly to reassure her. Once they'd made their way threw the crowd, Randy dropped his bag and her hand to embrace his family.

Sonic: And then his bag got stolen. Whoops.

Colleen felt rather uncomfortable standing off to the side so she made herself look busy with her fingernails, bitten back very short.

Amy: Wow, you're a killjoy.

The family finally released from their and Randy introduced Colleen to everyone.

Sonia: And that's where we should've stopped, but since we need to pad this nonsense out...

"This is my brother Mark,"
"Hi." Mark greeted her.
"Nice to meet you." She relied smiling.
"my mom Jill," Randy continued.
"We're so happy you're here." Jill hugged her.
"Thanks for having me."
"and my dad Tim, Brad's not here."

Amy: Perhaps he went to Costa Rica, too? Oh, wait... *looks up the storyline* Oh, right; he went to college on a scholarship. Forgot about that.

"It's great to finally meet everyone."
"Ho ho ho ho." Tim grunted, "Any friend of Randy's is a welcome in the Taylor home."

Sonic: Yeah, okay, first off... Tim wouldn't grunt randomly like that. Secondly... is he Santa?
Sonia: Well, his actor did star in those "Santa Clause" films, so there's that.

Tim, Jill, and Mark helped the two carry their bags out to the car. Colleen stopped dead when she saw the hotrod. It was by far the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Randy noticed her expression and became worried.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"My God, where did you get this car?" she asked flustered.
"Brad, Mark, Dad and I built it." Randy told her.
"You're kidding."
"Nope." Tim chimed in, "6 inch cylinder even, this baby purrs like a kitten. You like cars Colleen?"
"Do I." She smiled wide.
"A girl after my own heart." Tim dramatically stated putting his hand on his chest. Everyone laughed as they crowded into the car and began the drive home. Colleen was feel more at ease every minute.

Amy: And of course she's "not like the other girls" because she's interested in cars. Not that there's anything wrong with ladies being interested in cars.
Manic: Starting to remind you a bit of Serenity, huh?
Amy: ...I actually forgot that she existed until you mentioned her. And now that you brought that up... I'm starting to believe that Colleen's going to have the old "twagic past" card, too.
Manic: Trust me, she will.

chapter 2

They arrived at the house about 20 minutes later.
"We fixed Brad's old room for you Colleen, I hope that's okay." Jill said as she helped Colleen take her bags upstairs.
"Anything is fine, thank you so much Mrs. Taylor, I really appreciate you letting me stay here."

Sonic: Staying, leeching, ruining canon...

"Oh you're welcome dear, I could use some female company.

Sonia: Who says that?! I know I said that I'd like a sister of my own after being stuck with these two... *points to Sonic and Manic* ...but who says "female company"?

And please, call me Jill.

Amy: *buzzes* Nope, she'd still insist to be called "Mrs. Taylor". Besides, what makes Colleen so special that she'd call Jill by first name basis?
Manic: Tragic past.

But uh, if you don't mind my asking, why couldn't you go home?" They went into the room and set all the bags down. Jill helped Colleen unpack her things as they talked.

Sonia: Warning: Tragic past alert. Warning: Tragic past alert.
Sonic: *flashes a neon sign*

"Well my dad didn't want me going on the trip, he thought I should stay home and take care of my little sister, but there was no way I could pass up the opportunity. So when I told him I was going he told me never to come back."

Amy: Um... is he a stay at home father? Do they have other relatives to take care of her sister if he isn't? Okay, and what about her mom? Is her mom even alive? What. Is. This?
Sonic: Man, I've really missed you using the ol' noodle, Ames.

"Oh dear, are you okay? That must have been horrible."
"It's okay Jill. Really. I've gotten used to the idea." Colleen shrugged.

Sonia: *sarcastically* Yeah, just shrug off the abuse. Because that's possible. *normal voice* Way to insult real life victims there.

"Well, if you ever need to talk." Jill began.
"Thank you for the offer, but I'm fine."

Manic: Yeah, and I'm Bob Ross. You know we're gonna visit that "twagic past" later in this damn fic.

"Okay, but I just want you to know the offer always stands, even if it's not about that."
"Thanks." ~ Downstairs in Randy's room ~

Sonic: Yeah, author really doesn't know how spacing works here...

"So Colleen seems nice." Mark commented.
"Yea, she's great. I'm glad you guys like her." Randy said as he put his things back in the drawers.

Manic: *raises hand* I don't. What will happen to me?
Sonic: Easy, you'll just be labeled as a "jackass" because how dare you not like the Purity Sue!

"What I don't get is why she's here.

Amy: Thanks for reading my mind...

Don't get me wrong though, I think it's great." Tim thought aloud sitting on the bed.

Amy: ...never mind, I take that back, because that was not on my mind.
Manic: Yeah, premature celebrations can do that to you.

"Well she doesn't really like to talk about it

Sonia: ...even though she will later.

but all I basically know is her father told her if she went to Costa Rica, she couldn't come home but she decided to go anyway."

Sonic: And leave her sister behind. Yeah, what selflessness. Thumbs up for her!

"Oh no." Tim grunted softly, "that's horrible."

Manic: Okay, why did the author decide to turn Tim into this gorilla who grunts all the time?
Sonia: Because that's the only thing that anyone remembers about that show.
Amy: That and "Tool Time", probably.

"Yea, I don't know how he could ever do that to his own daughter." Randy sigh dropping onto the bed next to his father.
"Some people just shouldn't be parents son,

Sonic: ...like the Duggars.
Sonia, Manic, Amy: *gasps*
Sonic: *unfazed* Too soon?
Sonia: I shouldn't be surprised; both Kyos would've said something like that, too.

but try to look on the bright side, you made a great new friend, and you're helping her out." Tim patted his middle son on the back.
"Yea I guess. Can we change the subject? How's Brad doing?"

Manic: Oh, man, there's a cardinal sin being made! They're not talking about her!

"He's still at college, he and a few friends are sharing a large apartment. He's actually planning to come home in a about a week, he really wants to see you and meet Colleen."

Sonia: He's bluffing. He doesn't want to meet that reality warper, but he is only being nice to keep up appearances.

"Great! I miss hanging out with my brothers. Hey mark, how about you, me and Colleen go down to the pool hall after dinner?" Randy suggested.
"Sounds great." Mark agreed.

Amy: And then Colleen whips them in some game and pulls the "You thought I couldn't do it because I'm a girl!" card or the "Well I wasn't that good at the game, you just suck, so..." card.
Sonic: I'm betting fifty bucks.
Amy: Sonic, you do not want to bet. You're going to lose that money.
Sonic: My, aren't you confident.
Amy: I'm not. I just know that you're going to lose fifty bucks.

chapter 3

The five of them sat around the table eating Colleen's spaghetti. She had insisted on cooking and doing her fair share of the work around the house in return for letting her stay in their home.

Sonia: Fair is fair.

"Colleen, this is delicious!" Tim complimented shoveling another forkful into his mouth.

Sonic: Okay, uh... I thought he had table manners, too.
Amy: Remember? It was one of those old "bumbling dad" sitcoms, Sonic.
Sonic: Oh, right.

"Oh, thank you." She replied blushing slightly.
"Oh yea, Colleen, Mark and I thought the three of us would go to the pool hall, want to?" Randy asked serving up yet another plate.
"Sure, I'd love to." She smiled across the table at him. ~ At the pool hall ~

Manic: Paragraph breaks? What are they?
Sonia: A myth.

"Wow, this place is great." Colleen commented as they walked in the front door.
"Yea, we used to hang out here all the time." Randy informed her. Lightly in the background, they could hear the soft music of a familiar song.
And they were singin,' 'Bye bye miss American Pie. Drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry.' And good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye. Singin' 'This'll be the day that I die.', Colleen sang along quietly. She remembered it as one of her mom's favorites. However, she quickly pushed that thought aside before she became too sad. She was no where near emotionally ready to share and handle it.

Amy: Oh, look. A song that conveniently brings up the "twagic past". *rummages through the plot convenience purse* Wonder what else we have in here.
Manic: *peeks in the purse* Hey, Amy, move your hands out of the way a little bit, please.
Amy: *does so*
Manic: Thanks. *pulls out the "dead parent" card* I think we know what's next, then.
Amy: Oh, jeez.

"Hey Randy, eight ball?" Mark asked getting them a table and a couple of sticks.
"You're on. You don't mind do you?" He asked looking up at Colleen.
"Oh no, go ahead. I'm not very good anyway.

Sonia: Better prep those fifty bucks, Sonic.
Sonic: Why? Amy didn't accept the bet.
Sonia: You're still losing fifty bucks.

I'll get us some drinks, what would you guys like?"
"Pepsi please." Mark said thanking her with a smile.
"I'll have a Root Beer." Came Randy's reply. Colleen walked over to the counter, ordered two Pepsis and a Root Beer, and sat on the stool as she waited. A large man came up beside her and ordered a beer. She looked up at him for a minute and her heart fell right into her stomach.

Manic: You need to get that checked out. Either that or we should be prepping for your funeral, because hearts don't work like that.

The man strangely resembled her father but when he turned and smiled at him, she noticed that it was a much gentler smile then she'd ever seen on her father and his eyes were hazel, not brown.

Sonic: Oh, look. It's conveniently not her dad. Whoo.
Amy: Yeah, I have a question. Is Colleen's hometown Detroit or Costa Rica? And if it is the latter... how the heck will her father find her if she didn't leave an address?
Manic: Easy, just stalk her Cullen/Grey style. *turns to the audience* Don't do that, guys. It's stupid.

She did her best to smile back politely. The man gave her the drinks, she quickly hurried back to the table where Randy, and Mark were still playing and cracking jokes. When she approached, Randy's smile dropped from his face as he realized she was white as a ghost.
"What's wrongs?" He asked intently.
"Nothing, I'll be right back, I need to run to the ladies room." She excused herself.

Sonia: I think the Black Crow learned that when someone says "nothing" in a badfic, it really means "something".

It was all Randy could do not to run after her and just hold her. He knew there was something in her past she wasn't sharing with him, and it scared him.
Colleen ran into the stall the moment she got through the bathroom door. As disgusting as the bathroom was, she dropped to her knees and lost the dinner she'd worked so hard on.

Sonic: Wait, what? I thought that they were at the pool hall. How'd she lose her dinner... oh... she tossed her cookies. I got it now. Yeesh.
Amy: And why did that cause her to vomit? This isn't making any sense.

~ Back out at the table ~
"I hope she's okay." Mark commented. They'd stopped playing when she'd run off. Mark saw something in his brother's eyes he'd never seen there before. He was so worried. He obviously cared a lot about Colleen but something led Mark to believe it was more then that, but he couldn't put his finger on it at the moment.
"¿Usted está bien?" Randy asked as she approached again, looking slightly better. He didn't even realized he was asking her is she was okay in Spanish.
"Sí, soy fino." She replied also in Spanish.

Amy: Get it? It's because she's from Costa Rica. We had to put that middle school Spanish to good use here.

"Okay you guys hurt my head when you do that." Mark cut in. they both looked at him confused. "You were talking in Spanish again." He told them and they laughed a little.

Sonia: So... Spanish is suddenly hilarious?
Manic: "Comedy", sis.

"Sorry Mark." She apologized. "So who's winning?" She changed the subject.
"Technically I am, as usual." Randy smiled at her. She mustered her best smile back. They continued to play until Randy won. Colleen decided it was time for a little fun and challenged him.

Sonic: And then she wins. I know, I lose fifty bucks. Here. *gives Amy fifty dollars*
Amy: Oh! Uh... you know that I didn't accept the bet, so... *hands Sonic his money back*
Sonic: Nah, just take it, Ames.

He though he had this game in the bag to but she shot him down with every shot he made. She smiled cockily at him as his jaw sank to the floor.

Manic: Okay, uh...
Sonia: And now we have another Sue trait... she's better than her love interest. Not only that, she does it perfectly.
Sonic: Because Sues can never be less than perfect.

"I thought you said you weren't very good." He said finally.
"I'm not, I guess you just suck." Her smile widened.

Amy: *narrows her eyes* I don't like you, madam.
Manic: Well, you have about fourteen more chapters to not like her fluffy Better Than You self. Get in line.

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