Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Egg Spiral Crew, Episode 2: INFECTION

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Six words: I wish I owned The Ring.

Sonic: Four words: Thank god you don't.
Sonia: Sonic!

SOUNDS/sounds

Amy: Just in case you don't know what the word "sounds" looks like in lowercase. But we're kidding, the sound effects are in bold.

Thoughts

Telepathy

Manic: Possible boredom.

"Have you heard?"

"There's a tape that if you watch it...,"

"...in seven days..."

"...you die."

Sonia: When did the Shadow Girls make a cameo here?

Symphony Callestro

Sonic: Her parents must've gotten the name idea from watching Maury, eh?

walked the halls of her high school, as a rumour buzzes about two teens killed seven days from watching a tape.

Amy: It turns out that the tape was labeled "Jersey Shore".

She rolled her eyes and opened her locker, collecting the combination.

Manic: Quarter Circle Foward, Punch... buffered into a Dragon Punch motion...

The goth bit her lip as she searched her locker for her Algebra textbook, and released when she caught sight of it.

Sonic: Jeez, how messy is that locker? Maybe it'll lead a path to Wonderland, too.

clack clack clack

Sonia: Hey, who's walking down the hallway in their tap dancing shoes?

"Hey Symp! Heard the new rumour?" Came the sound of her perky punky friend, Allegro Castrar.

Manic: Pfft. What the hell kind of names are these?

Symphony twitched,

Sonic: After hearing the name "Allegro Castrar". More cringeworthy than her own silly name.

and looked at her friend with one eye from behind her locker door.

Amy: So... she's a Cyclops?

"Hey Alle," She said gloomily.

Sonic: Remember, kids! If you're not gloomy and a goth, you're doing it wrong!
Sonia: I'm pretty sure that's the "emo" stereotype. And I'm sure that that cat on the Black Crow can prove you wrong about goths.

"Yes, it's bogus." She said, then slamming her door. "And I don't care,"

Manic: *as Symphony* Because I need to snap at people.

She said, pushing herself past her friend, but she stays by her side.

Amy: *as Allegro* I enjoy being your fall girl, Symph!

"Oh come on! What's got your noose tied?" Allegro said irritatedly.

Sonia: *as Symphony* You.
Manic: Get it? It's because they're goths.
Sonia: Emo stereotype, little brother.

"This shitty rumour. They just skipped school for a few days, who cares?" She said, pushing past a flood of jocks.

Sonic: Yeah, because all kids just skip school for extended periods of time and come up dead.

"...for two weeks?" Her friend said dropping her textbook. She gathers them up, and rushes ahead to meet Symphony.

Amy: Yeah, I've heard of this thing called "the flu". Can take the mess out of you for some time.

"Alle, just get off it, alright?"

Sonic: *as Allegro* Tch, sorry I asked, Madame Stick Up the Ass.

Allegro blinked a few times, surprised. "Symp, this really isn't like you to just blow off another rumour-"

Symphony stopped in her tracks, and faced Allegro. "They're blaming me for it!" She said, anguish painting her features.

Sonic: Because if you look gothic enough, you can be blamed for being the person in the videotape.
Sonia: It's "Paint Me Symphony"! With feature facial expressions! Choose from chagrin--
Manic: Gotcha, sis.
Amy: Wait, I'm confused. How can they blame her for it if they never saw the tape, and the people who did see it are already dead?
Sonic: Stop trying to find logic in this, Ames. You'll only get a headache.

"Oh...well," She said, trying to find the perfect words for her friend's bad mood, but looked up to see her friend gone.

Amy: It's her silent way of saying "Bite me". Find new friends, sweetie.

Towards the end of class, Symphony spaced out, and drew in her notebook, when she was supposed to be taking notes. She sighed, and began to tap her pencil on her desk, staring out the window at a flock of birds.

Sonia: Ah, a normal kid's day during class.

I wonder what it would be like to be a bird...to fly...to explore...no worries...no homework...And no rumours that you killed two fucking horny assholes...

Sonic: Ah, a normal emo kid's day during class.
Sonia: Good lord, she's already incredibly irritating.

SLAM!

Amy: Uh... Zonk?
Sonia: Bam?
Manic: Splooge?
Sonic: Splooge? The hell?

"Miss Callestro, would you mind telling the class what X would equal, if fifteen is divided by four?"

Amy: Um, uh... 3.75, maybe?

Her teacher said, leaning over the table, his beady eyes dripping with irritation.

Sonic: You may wanna see a doctor for that.

"Uh...erm...two?" She said, her right eye twitching a bit.

Sonia: She hasn't been taking some Visine or something for that, huh?

"You really must pay attention, Miss Callestro, as all I'm saying will be on the test," He said.

Manic: *as Symphony* Pfft, everything's on some stupid test. Can't we get a free period or something?

She narrowed her eyes. "Really? I guess I should study 'bad breath', as it will be on the test, as you say." She said, using air quotes.

Sonic: *sarcastically* Burn!

Some of the girls snorted, and the guys clapped.

Amy: That was as funny as watching a Bonnie McFarlane special.
Sonic, Sonia, Manic: ...
Amy: That's a bad thing, guys.
Sonic, Sonia, Manic: Oh... huh?
Amy: Never mind.

The teacher, however wasn't amused.

Manic: He then beat the unfunny snark out of her. The crew on the Egg Spiral cheered.

He took back the textbook he slammed on her desk, and pointed out the door.

"Out, please." He said, his face surely brimming with hate.

Sonic: Man, this guy really hates those emo kids.
Amy: Well, those bad OCs do exaggerate those "problems" that they have, Sonic.

With a quiet smirk, Symphony stood up, gathered ther things, and walked out, leaving a class of gossiping students.

Sonic: *as the teacher* Hey, you smirking over there?! Come back here so I can beat that off of you!
Sonia: *as a gossiping student* Maybe she'll hang herself later!
Amy: *as another gossiping student* Totally!
Manic: Damn, high school really is vicious.

She sat outside the vice-director's office, reading a neo-gothic book she borrowed from the school's library.

Sonic: *sighs* We got it, she's allegedly goth! Shut up, already!

She sighed and turned the page as she absorbed all the words in, creating a picture in her mind.

Manic: It resembled being bored to death.
Sonia: Her or the readers?
Manic: The readers. After Symphony's "snarky" attitude, I'm sure they all went into comas.

But just as she finished the chapter, she thought about the rumour.

Sonic: Like this fic ending. That's a rumor to dive into.

Symphony furrowed brow, and shook her head, shaking the thoughts out. As she started the new chapter, the thought came again.

Manic: And again, and again, and again...

With a grunt, she replaced her bookmark, and closed it, knowing she wouldn't enjoy the storyline without that damned thought.

Amy: We got it, the thought's bugging her! Yeesh!

She sighed and closed her eyes as she craned her head back, and relaxed a bit. Tried at least.

Sonia: Unfortunately, she leaned too far back, and her neck broke.
Sonic: Good.

But the door opened, and Ms. Thornton, the vice-director of the school sent another student out, and fingered Symphony to enter.

Manic: Insert creepy fingering joke here.

With a groan, she picked up her backpack, slinging it over one shoulder, along with her book, and walked ahead in, knowing the worst.

Amy: Like her death.

"Symphony, this has been the fifth time you have been sent to my office." Ms. Thornton sighed clasping her hands together on her desk. "Honestly, what makes you do things like this?"

Sonic: *as Symphony* Because I'm a Jerk Sue. Any more questions, miss?

Symphony sighs, and tried to block her out, kicking her feet on the floor.

Manic: *covers his ears* Lalalalala, I'm not listening...

"Miss Callestro, please answer me," She repeated, trying to be patient with the goth.

Sonia: Unfortunately, she lost her patience, got a belt, whipped the heck out of her, parents sued... school closed due to the lawsuit... you get the rest.

"What if I don't want to? I have rights you know,"

Sonic: Yeah! Fight for your right to be an obnoxious brat that hasn't been spanked enough as a kid!
Amy: Wow. You sure are steamed.
Sonic: And you weren't during our last riffed fic?

Ms. Thornton blinked a few times slowly. "Is this about the rumour?"

Symphony looked up, surprised. "...you know about that?"

Sonic: Because higher ups don't know about what goes on in their community.

She nods. "All too well. And I assure you, it wasn't a tape that killed them," She said, trying not to sound too cynical.

Sonia: *rolls eyes* A caring heart, indeed.
Amy: Oh! So it was a "Jersey Shore" DVD!

"It was suspected to be a double-suicide, but the police aren't sure,"

Manic: Yeah, I'm sure you'd kill yourself after watching "Jersey Shore" as well.

She gulps. "They say I did it..." She whispers, barely distictinct.

Sonic: *as Symphony* Because... I'm... goth--
Sonia: Shut up, Sonic.

Ms. Thornton got up, and kneeled next to where Symphony was sitting. "Now you know that's not true, Symphony. It was just an unfortunate misunderstanding, okay?"

Amy: Scapegoating is fun, isn't it, kids?

She sniffed, and nodded, not looking at Ms. Thornton.

"Katie I know would never blame you, and neither would Josh." She continued. "Rebecca would know this, but-"

Manic: Who the hell is she talking about?
Amy: Katie and Rebecca were the kids in the beginning of the first "Ring" movie, Manic.
Manic: Oh. Then who's Josh?
Amy: How the heck should I know?

"-but she's stuck in an insane asylum counting the cracks in the wall," She crudely finished.

Sonic: I'm in one, too! It's called the "Egg Spiral"!

Ms. Thornton sighed, and touched her hand. "Sympony, please don't say that.

Sonia: *as Ms. Thornton* As a matter of fact, kill yourself. It's faster.

Ever since what happened, you've always been in my office for one thing, and then another.

Sonic: I thought it was for the same thing... being a you-know-what.

Now I know if you want to talk, I'll always be here, understand?" She softly said, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

Amy: That was right before she broke it.

She nods as the bell rings.

Manic: Later, a fight occured on the school grounds. But we won't cover that, because it doesn't involve Symphony.

Disclaimer: Didn't you read the last one?

Sonic: And my disclaimer: Did you read my quip when we started this?

SOUNDS/sounds

Thoughts

Telepathy

"Geez! Not again!" Symphony yelled, throwing her backpack in the hallway, groaning and leaning against the wall. It was only a matter of time before her mother found out about the rumour.

Amy: Because her mother was living under a rock.

It had only been two weeks, and she was surprised to say the least that Ms. Thornton didn't call her mom yet. Maybe she did.

Manic: All via Snail Mail, of course. See, her mom never believed in this thing called a "telephone"...

"Symphony, honey, why didn't you tell us?" Her mom said sweetly, crossing her arms.

Sonic: Insert generic teenage response here.

Although her mother was a sweet, and kind woman, the way she crossed her arms initiated a tone of superiority, and arrogance.

Sonia: *as Symphony's mom* Tch, why the hell did I have you stupid brats?

She leaned against the corner of the hallway, staring worriedly at her daughter. Symphony just stared at her little brother's dirty dirtbike clothes laying on the hardwood floor.

Amy: I guess her brother is Pig Pen's lost relative?

She kicked the helmet and it hit the other side with a loud 'bang'.

Sonia: The other side must've contained gunpowder and fireworks.

"Honey?" She repeated, touching her shoulder with one hand. But Symphony jerked away, and ran up the stairs to her room.

Sonic: Ungrateful brat.

SLAM!

Manic: Ka-Pow!
Sonic: Holy Sound Effects, Batman!

Her mother flinched, and sighed shaking her head.

Amy: Eh, you kids and your problems and your... aah.

Symphony flopped angrily on her bed, and started crying in her pillow, leaving black mascara blots on the white pillow covers.

Manic: Taking makeup tips from Taylor Momsen, young lady?

Today was so stressful. So stressful, that she couldn't even tell her own family.

Sonic: To be fair, being blamed for two murders that you didn't do is one thing, but... yeah, screw the families of the dead kids from the tape! I'm sure they don't have any stress to deal with!

Her father was too busy, her mother was trying to be family psychologist, and her brother, Concerto,

Sonia: With their cousin, Minuet!
Amy: And their Uncle Waltz!

was oblivious to what was happening around him; if it wasn't about dirtbiking, he wasn't interested.

Amy: If it wasn't about playing "Call of Duty", then he wasn't interested, either.

She cringed again, and buried her head in her pillow once more.

Sonic: Hey, there won't be any pillow left! You'll bore a hole into your bed.

Now, this would give her mother something else to be worried about. She was against the goth look from the start,

Manic: Because Mom was from the 1950's.

and was seriously thinking of getting her pretty pastels and whatnot.

Manic: Correction. She was from the 1960's.

Symphony shuddered.

Pink and greens? UGH!

Amy: Symphony must be allergic to color, then.
Sonic: No, she's just really whiny.

She flipped over onto her back, and looked around her room. The walls were a sickly hospital white, and her drapes were an olive green. The window was open a crack, causing the draperies to flutter a bit as ghosts.

Sonia: Apparently, Symphony has never heard of the word "redecoration".

She stared out the window, thinking ways to skip school tomorrow and not face the same thing that happened today.

Sonic: She has never heard of the words "transferring schools", either.
Manic: Or the words "bring a--"
Sonic, Sonia, Amy: Sh-sh-sh-sh-shut up, Manic!

"Was it her?"

"...yeah, the goth girl did it..."

"...damn freak, I hope she goes to a mental asylum. Poor Katie..."

Sonia: Ten years from now, the bullies were revealed to be bums while Symphony's running Microsoft.
Sonic: That's if they live ten years. Apparently, they must've seen the tape, too.
Manic: And of course, there's only one "goth girl" in the entire school. Didn't know that was even possible.

Symphony burst into tears, and sat up, hugging her knees crying bitterly. This has been the worst two weeks of her life.

Amy: Again, being accused of something that you didn't do is horrible. But... does this really work when you've been acting like a giant jerk to everyone who was trying to help you?

She wanted to run away, and never return.

Manic: Until she grows up and returns to her pride to battle her uncle who turned the throne into a desolate dictatorship with his hyenas...

She calmed a bit, her breaths quivering with every intake of air. Suddenly, the breeze stopped, as if by will, the drapes slow to stop. She gulps in surprise, and looks over, blinking rapidly.

Amy: She then made the wind go a little too hard. Goodbye, windows.

Damn, the wind up here's crazy...

Sonic: Welcome to Chicago!

She curled up on her bed, and took a relaxing nap.

Sonia: Well, that was before she ended up in Oz, of course.

"Caryn, please pass the potatoes," Said Symphony's father to her mother. She nods, and hands him the bowl he requested. "So, Symp, how was school today?" He said with a big grin. He was painfully oblivious to what was bothering his daughter. He knit his brow, and set the bowl aside.

Manic: Because all fathers are this oblivious.

"I don't want to talk about it," She said, resting her chin in her hand, and making little railroads in her food.

Amy: After dinner, hopefully?

Concerto ate like a swine, devouring anything that didn't move.

Manic: We're actually amazed he hasn't become a cannibal.
Sonia: Or suffered from pica, for that matter.

"You gonna finish that?" He said to Symphony, mouth full. She eyes him warily, and slowly takes a small bite of her plated food.

Sonic: Another way of saying "Bite me".

He sighed, and took a bite of his broccoli. "Symp, whatever it is, you can tell me, alright sweetie?" Her father said once again not aware the severity of the matter.

Manic: *imitating a professor* You see, teenagers are like little ticking time bombs...
Sonia: Maybe he's not aware of the situation because the whiny moron... I don't know... never told him!

Her right eye twitched and she tried to block him out. "It's nothing," She muttered.

Amy: Again, Visine, sweetie.
Sonic: Jeez, at least talk to him after dinner, you stuck-up twit!
Sonia: Hey! Chill, Sonic.

"Heh, doesn't seem like 'nothing'," Her older brother said, shoveling down a spoonful of potatoes.

Manic: *as Symphony* I'll show ya "nothing". C'mere so I can cut 'cha.

"Shut up," She said, her patience resting to a minimum. She was honestly getting irritated at her family's folly.

Amy: Sounds like some sort of sitcom family to me. Without the death, of course.
Sonic: Yeah, god forbid that they actually care about you. Brat.

In response, her brother laughed like a jerk. She glared at him. Maybe I should go talk to Ms. Thornton...

Sonic: Dur-hay.

"Honey? Did you hear what your father said?" Her mother said. But this got on Symphony's last nerves.

Sonia: Her getting on her last nerves is getting on my last nerves.

"Yes, mom, I heard what dad said." She muttered, absently mindedly watching her brother eat. Maybe he ate the spoon, I don't see it anywhere...

Amy: Wow, guess it is pica.

"What's with you?" Her brother hollared. "You're so fucking emo! Are you like cutting yourself stupid GOTH?"

Sonic: What in the world is wrong with you?
Sonia: And kid, "goth" and "emo" are two different things. Pick one, please.
Sonic: With all of that whining, she might as well be "emo".

Her mother stood up forcefully. "Concerto! That will be enough!" She yelled over the table. He just shrugged.

Manic: Slap him, Mom!
Amy: Actually, she's better off slapping both of them.

"Hell, maybe she did kill Katie and Josh!" He yelled back in defense. Symphony shook her head, and ran upstairs, slamming her door. Concerto laughed and finished the last of his potatoes, running off.

Sonia: You know what? If I'd had the ability to jump into fics, I'd strangle everyone in there.

Caryn went off after chase, yelling for apology.

Sonic: Why the heck is she apologizing? Both of her kids were being jerks.
Manic: Parenting. At least we think it's parenting.

"...dinner went well." The father nodded to self, the last one at the table.

Amy: Oh, I know how you feel, sir.
Manic: Insert facepalm here.
Sonic: I'm complying, bro.
Sonia: Same here.

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