Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Egg Spiral Crew, Episode 5: The White Hedgehog (Part One)

--

I don't own Sonic and crew and hold no claim to them. But any characters that are unknown to you are from my mind.

Sonic: Okay, how diseased is your mind?
Sonia: Sonic!

The White Hedgehog
By: Jenny Blue

She ran through the great forest as fast as she could, hearing her pursuers closing in on her. She couldn't remember how long she had been running from them or how many days had passed since her town was attacked.

Sonia: It turns out that she was only running for fifteen minutes.

But all that mattered right now was to get away and she was tiring. Taking a quick look behind her. There was no sign of them, but she could still hear them.

Sonic: And then they popped up from a bush. Boo!

Turning back; putting her hands up in front of her and plunging into a thick bush, only to find a steep hill on the other side. Screaming, she balled herself up and rolled down the hill.

Amy: Whoops, now they can hear her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

Manic: Hey, we have some waves there! I'll get my hoverboard!

Sonic and Tails relaxed by the river, their fishing lines flowing in the rivers current. This was one of the few things that Sonic The Hedgehog would sit still for.

Sonia: Apparently, he wouldn't sit still for a live nude scene.
Sonic: Shut up, sis.

Sighing, Sonic laid back; hands behind his head and one leg propped up on another. He taped his foot.

Amy: "He taped his foot"? When did he get a giant gash there?

With another sigh, he closed his eyes, listening to the soft breeze blow throw the forest, when he heard a scream.

Sonic: Oh, god. It's not the Screamapillar, is it?

“Sonic!” Tails shouted, as he jumped to his feet.

Sonic stood a split second after, looking for the source of the scream. When he heard it again, he honed in on it and looked to the left. Coming down a steep hill was a blue and gray ball.

Manic: *gasps* That giant beach ball's possessed!

“Sonic!” Tails cried again.

“I'm on it.” Sonic said, speeding off.

Tails watched as his friend sped away. He then looked up the hill to see four hover bots burst through the bushes. He took to the air, never taking his eyes off them. He moved as fast as he could, putting himself between the hover bots and his friend.

Sonia: And then Sonic was nuked.
Amy: Oops.

“Sonic, four flyers at three!” Tails shouted, moving to intercept them.

“I see `em!” Sonic shouted back, running up the hill. As the two tone ball spun past, he turned and raced down. When Sonic matched his pace with the ball he yelled, “Come on Tails!” As Sonic grabbed the two-tone ball, Tails latched himself to Sonic's back. The blue hero took off, leaving the hover bots behind.

Sonia: I'm sorry, but normal people would see one color most of the time.

When he was sure the robots were long gone behind them. Sonic stopped to look at the mobian he saved. He was surprised to see it was a girl.

Sonic: I'd like to know how I'd become shocked over seeing a girl. If the person's hurt, yes, but... come on.

Setting her down, Sonic looked her over and decided that she was just a child.

Amy: Something tells me that she's going to do something stupid in an attempt to "grow up" or "be mature".
Sonic: I guess a certain pink hedgehog forgot about the Ring of Acorns...
Amy: *stares at Sonic*

With her head down, he under stood why he saw gray and blue. Dusty gray fur matted with dirt and leaves.

Manic: Did she leave a mud wrestling competition?

Her quills were the same gray with streaks of dusty pink.

Sonia: Why is everything "dusty"? This is already a bit annoying.

Mixed in with the quills was gray hair held up with something he couldn't see. Her quills stood up like Sonic's, but flopped to the right a little on top of her head. She wore a very loose fitting dress that was once a soft blue; was now a dingy deep blue. The same blue was on her boots that were caked in mud and dirt. As she stood straight, her head stopped just under his chin.

Sonic: We got it, she's dirty! Did we need a giant paragraph for that?
Manic: Hey, some people like that sort of thing.
Amy: Is it really that possible to have quills bend or flop like that?
Manic: Beats me, Ames.

Sonic studied her,

Manic: ...for an exam.

watching as she lifted her face up words. Her eyes closed; a gentle breeze blew, moving the hair from her eyes. As it was blown away, a light dusty pink crescent stood out on her forehead.

Sonic, Sonia, Manic: *flatly* What.
Amy: What is this, a Sailor Moon rip-off?

This surprised him more then her coloring. Then she opened her eyes. Deep forest green met emerald.

Sonic: Oh, would you just say "green"?!

Her eyes much like Sally's in shape. The look of a child in all respects, but the eyes said something else; older some how.

Sonia: *sighs* If we have another description of purple prose, I'm seriously going to strangle someone.

“You okay?” Tails asked, breaking the silence.

“Who are you?” Sonic asked, trying not to stare. Some how she seamed familiar to him.

Manic: She's a seamstress? Huh?

“Kathryn....” The girl said, before collapsing into Sonic's arms.

Sonic: If she's my sister, I'm going to lose it.

Both males looked at each other, then to the small female. With a sigh, Sonic picked her up; cradled her in his arms. She felt as though she was older and not a child.

Amy: Make up your mind! Is she a child or not?!

Shaking his head he sped away. Bring her to Knothole; hoping he was doing the right thing.

Sonic: He'll like it. I'd actually regret it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

All: *humming the theme to "Hawaii Five-O"*

Kathryn stirred in the bed. She could hear people in the room with her, talking softly to each other. But when she tried to open her eye,

Amy: Insert obligatory Cyclops joke here.

she couldn't and let the darkness that was threatening to claim her come.

Sonic, Manic: Eww!
Sonia: *sighs* And these are my brothers...

When she came to again, she tried to sit up. But a cold mettle hand stopped her.

Sonic: You don't have the mettle!

Gently pushed her back down on the bed.

Amy: Can we get a whole sentence, please? Thank you.

Feeling it on her shoulder, she heard a soothing young female's voice.

Manic: All right! We have a girl on girl scene!
Sonia: *makes a face* Oh, stop, Manic.
Amy: You will not like the end result, Manic.

“Lay still...yer safe now.” the voice said.

“Who.... where?”

Sonic: What?
Sonia: When?
Manic: How?
Amy: Why?

Kathryn said, slowly sitting up. The mettle hand not stopping her this time.

“My name is Bunny and yer in my hut.” Bunny said, watching the girl.

“H...how did I get here?” Kathryn looked around the room, “Where are my clothes?” she asked, holding the blanket to her. When she looked to the side of the bed and saw the tan rabbit with robot legs and left arm sitting next to the bed. She almost screamed.

Sonic: *covering his ears* Jeez! Would you quit with the screaming!
Sonia: She almost screamed, Sonic.
Sonic: Yeah, but still!

“Yer in Knothole and Sonic was the one that brought ya here. Yah had us worried ya know, yah been asleep since yes'erday. It's almost sun down now.” Bunny said, smiling at her and getting up to retrieve something from the other room.

Manic: I know Bunnie has a southern drawl in her voice... but does it need to be exaggerated like that?

“Yesterday? Sunset? I made it here for nothing.” Kathryn whispered, bringing her knees to her chest.

“Wha was that sugar?”

All: She said she made it here for nothing!

“Nothing, where are my clothes? An did you say Sonic brought me here? I need to see him and the other freedom fighters!”

“Yer clothes needed to be cleaned and mended a bit. But yah should clean yer self up a bit first before yah wear `em. You see `ih an da others soon enough.” The rabbit said, handing her her clothes.

Sonic: Jeez, author. Why don't you get poor Bunnie a banjo while you're mangling the hell out of her speech, huh?

“Thank you Bunny” Kathryn said with a small sad smile.

Amy: Again, how can a smile be sad?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

Sonia: I wonder if there are sharks in those waves.

The hot water felt good on her fur and skin. The mud and dirt stopped running off of her only a few minutes ago.

Manic: Then get out! You're using up all the hot water!

Sighing, she picked up the soap and washed the rest of the dirt from her fur. She let the soothing water run through her quills and hair. Feeling the soapsuds running down her back. Turning her face towards the rushing water, she never heard the group of mobians enter the hut. When the water grew cold. She finely turned it off and came out. After she dried herself, she slipped into her dress. Taking a hand, she whipped the fog from the mirror and looked into it. The white hedgehog staring back at her looked so sad. Then looked to her forehead and saw that the crescent was gone for now. That she was glad for. Kathryn ran her fingers through her hair and quills. She grabbed as much of it as she could and using some of her quills; pinned it up. Making it look short. Then slipped the necklace with a gold and silver ringaround her neck and under her dress. She slowly opened the door and stepped out.

Sonic: *snores*
Amy: *nudges Sonic* Wait, you're telling me that the crescent moon can disappear and reappear on her forehead? What is this nonsense?
Sonia: I'm wondering if the majority of the commas went on strike.

“She said her name was Kathryn.” Tails told Sally.

Sonic: Yeah, that's what she wants you to think, young one.

“Ya, poor kid, who knows how long she's been on the run.” Sonic said.

Manic: John Walsh must've placed her on his "Top Ten Most Wanted" list by now.

“If yah knew how wrong yah are about her bein a kid Sugar Hog.” Bunny laughed.

Amy: *rubs head* Jeez, more of this "kid" stuff...

They all gave Bunny an odd look when they herd a door opening.

Sonia: The door was herding sheep.

As one they turned to the bathroom door. All eyes where now on a now white female hedgehog.

Sonic: How the heck did she go from dirty gray to white fur so easily?
Manic: She used Clorox Bleach and Snuggle Fabric Softener!
Amy: Thanks for reminding me to do my laundry, guys...

All but one was surprised by her color and she stood to get a better look. Then slowly started to move towards her.

Sonic: Careful, she hasn't been quarantined properly!

Kathryn looked around the room. There were so many mobians now. Besides the rabbit, there was a ground squirrel, two foxes, a walrus, a skunk and two hedgehogs.

Amy: Hey, it's Noah's Ark!

One was a adulesent female and a darker shade of pink then what ran through her quills. The girl looked like someone she once knew. Kathryn watched as she stood and move toward her.

Manic: And then she died because she looked at her incorrectly.
Amy: Look, I know what I look like. The triplets and I aren't stupid.

Sonic watched as the new female looked around the room. Then her gaze fall back on him. He gave her his cocky grin and stood to offer her his seat. Then realized it wasn't him she was staring at, but Amy. Sonic's smile faded as he felt Amy push passed him and heard the other say Amy's name. He flopped into his seat as the white female dropped to her knees and the kit ran into her open arms, hugging each other. Sonic was in shock. For the first time since he met Amy Rose, she cried openly and everyone else was in the same state.

Sonia: This better not be what I think it is...

“Amy, you know her?” Sally asked, moving to her side. Alarmed to see the young hedgehog in such a state.

Pulling herself together, Amy said, “She's my sister.”

Sonia: ...
Manic: *scratches head* I take it back. I don't wanna see the girl on girl stuff no more.
Amy: *screams* Let me out! I want to get the hell off of this satellite!
Sonic: I've dealt with more "Sonic Sister Sues" than you have, and I'm not complaining. Calm down, will you?
Sonia: *rolls her eyes* Yes, Sonic. That will definitely make her feel better. And this doesn't make any sense; if the canon is Archie Sonic... then Amy and Kathryn are supposed to be from the Kingdom of Mercia, not this "Willow Town".
Manic: Oh, alternate universes... somehow, you don't want to make sense 99.9 percent of the time.

Releasing Kathryn from her hold. She looked up at her. “I thought you were robotized with... the others.”

Sonic: Darn, now they can't do... the robot!
Sonia, Manic, Amy: Get out, Sonic!
Sonic: I can't get away with one sarcastic cheesy joke, huh?

“I thought you were.” Kathryn said, whipping away Amy's tears.

Amy: *as herself* Owie, please stop whipping me.

When both girls calmed and sat. Everyone asked Kathryn questions all at once. She answered them all, telling them she was from the Freedom Fighters group of Willow Town. How they were attacked and she was sent to find help. To look for the Freedom Fighters of Knothole and Sonic the Hedgehog. How she feared that she was to late to save any of them.

Manic: If all of the people there look like her with tacky crescent moons and giant "speshul" powers, I shouldn't feel so bad that it got nuked, right?

“But Willow Town is a three day run I did it alone and at top speed.” Protested Sonic.

“Are you calling me a lire then?” Kathryn stood, barring her teeth.

Sonia: No, he's not calling you a misspelling of a musical instrument!
Sonic: *as himself* No, I'm calling you a snippy twit for randomly going at me like that, Kathryn.
Manic: *snickers*
Amy: "Barring her teeth"? Is she wearing dentures?

Then she fell silent and sat down. A sad look on her face. “I don't know how many day's have passed since the attack. I just know I'm to late.”

Manic: To what? School?
Amy: Wait, how did she go from weepy to really moody, then back to weepy in five seconds?
Sonia: Must be her stereotypical "time of the month".
Sonic: Yeesh. Sounds more like "24/7/365" instead of "one week".

“It's okay Kat.” Amy said, putting her hand on Kathryn's shoulder. Then gave Sonic an evil glare.

Sonia, Manic, Amy: You kidding me?
Sonic: I'm already hating that little lump. She acts like a brat to "me", then she pulls the stupid Sue sympathy card. Uh-uh, that's not going to fly here. We're going to rip your behind a new one. Just you wait.
Sonia: Oh, I'm ready, too.

“Kathryn you should rest. Sonic, get ready to leave for Willow Town.” Sally said.

“No! I'm going back. I owe them that.” Kathryn said, standing. The fire returning to her eyes. “Just give me time to change.”

Manic: And somebody get her the fire extinguisher so she can put her eyes out.

Everyone but Amy protested Kathryn going. But in the end she won and was led to Amy's hut.

Sonic: Good, now she can die! We won't miss you! Good-bye!

In her arms were a bundle of clothes for her to go through. Amy led the way to her hut. Wanting to ask Kathryn something as they entered the hut, but she couldn't find the words.

Amy: This sounds like a bad template for a cheesy lemon here.

“Amy stop it.”

“But why didn't you tell them?”

“I will when the time is right. But right now I have to get ready to go.”

“But how long will you be able to hide it?”

“Amy, I said stop it.”

Sonia: *feigning annoyance* Oh, let me say it! Amy, she's pregnant! There! Was that so hard?!
Manic: *in a high pitched voice* Auntie Amy! Auntie Amy!
Sonia: *hits Manic* Cut it out!
Manic: *rubs his arm* Ow, man!

Sonic waited for Kathryn, as he waited he thought about where he had seen her before. But he decided to worry about it later. He sped off to Amy's hut to see what was taking the girl so long to get ready.

Sonic: If she's from my childhood or something, I'm going to strangle somebody with piano wire.

Inside Amy's hut, Kathryn looked through the clothes and chose the ones she liked the best. A deep green, lace up tank that showed that she wasn't a simple child.

Sonia: It showed that she was a stripper, ready to begin her live stage show.
Manic: I'll get the pole.
Sonia: Okay, that bad joke aside... clothes do not make you an adult. Acting like a sane adult is what makes you one. And right now... you're failing that test.

A pair of tight fitting black shorts. Then a green skirt, which had slits to the waist. Last she put on her old boots. She then let her quills and hair down. Her white hair falling to her knees. Using a pale green and white sash to keep them out of her face.

Sonic: This just in: Nobody cares about your stupid clothing. At all.
Amy: Again with the long hair! First Serenity, now Kathryn! When will these Sues learn that they'll get dirt and other nasty things in it?
Sonia: If she starts flicking and flipping it, I'm going to shave her hair off.

Kathryn took a look around and found a pack Sally had given Amy and rushed out the door. As she run out the door, Kathryn ran into Sonic. The impact knocked her down, her hair falling in her face.

Sonic: And everything she does makes her more beautiful. Great.
Manic: I'm now going to wait for the part where she farts rainbows.

Sonic looked down at the person that ran into him. He stared at the white girl, he wasn't sure. But he thought it was Kathryn. He reached his hand out to her, not sure what to expect. The girl stayed still for a minute longer and then reached out a delicate hand. He noticed she didn't ware gloves. An he gentle grabbed it and helped the girl to her feet. As she stood, her hair fell from her face. Revealing the young woman behind it. Sonic took a step back, his jaw dropping. He looked Kathryn up and down and understood Bunny's joke. As Kathryn pushed her hair back in place. She smiled at him. He watched as she moved closer to him and her hand moved to rest under his chin.

Sonia, Manic, Amy: Oh, for the love of...
Sonic: *sighs* Well, that's just wonderful. I'm now going slack-jawed because she looks like Serenity's dumb hedgehog cousin. My life is complete.
Amy: Sally wears even less than this Sue. She only has a vest and boots! And nobody's going nuts over her looks!

When she was a heartbeat away.

Sonic, Manic, Amy: From what?
Sonia: Maybe her heart will explode on the next beat.

She closed his mouth and whispered, “Didn't your mother teach you to keep your mouth shut?” she moved away. “Come on speedy, we need to hurry.” She said, her smile fading as she pushed past him.

Sonia, Manic, Amy: ...
Sonic: I seriously want to beat somebody with a two by four right now.
Amy: Beat her with my hammer instead.

Kathryn headed toword the smell of food. She was hungry and need to pack supplies. It wasn't long before Sonic caught up with her. Kathryn could feel his eyes on her. Then she noticed that others were staring at her.

All: *rolling their eyes*

It made her nerves.

Sonia: It got on mine.

So she moved faster. Coming to the source of the smell she sighed and went into the mess hall.

Amy: This fic's already a big mess.

The mess hall was a big open area, with a small place walled and roof in. Kathryn slowly walked over to the food table. Sonic reached past her and pulled a try and placed two plates on it. He then moved over to what looked like bread and placed piece on each plate and so on.

Manic: It "looked like bread"? Are they eating pieces of cinderblock or mold or something?

Kathryn fallowed him, knowing that the room had fallen quite the moment she had walked in.

Sonic: We know that they think she's hot or something! Stop talking about that!

Sonic led her to a table with the others she had met earlier and sat.

Amy: What others? Oh, wait, I guess they're not that important to reintroduce. Carry on!

He motioned for her to sit with them. Kathryn looked around her. There was so many here and all were looking at her.

All: *irritated* Would you shut up about that, Suethor?!

Kathryn nervously sat down and took the plate offered by Sonic. Keeping her head down.

“Just ignore `em sugar. It's not eve'y day they see a new face aroun here.” Bunny said, smiling at her.

Amy: Yep, you can't ignore that creepy and "dusty" crescent moon...

“Thank you” Kathryn said, eating her food slowly. Every so often sniffing it.

Sonic: Too good for the food?

“Once you two have eaten and have your supplies. I want you to show Sonic how you got here.

Sonia: It must have been through the use of black magic.

This is a recon mission. Bring back any survivors or things we can us here. Then secure anything to big to bring back and we will retrieve it later. Got it! Good.” Sally stated.

Manic: Wow, she didn't give 'em any time to protest, huh?
Amy: Um, I guess now would be the time to start a pool and say that Sally's going to be warped by the Suethor into somebody who folds like a piece of paper, drops Sonic like a stone, and then Kathryn gets into his pants... or at least there'll be a hint of them being in love.
Manic: I'm betting fifty bucks on all three of them. This'll be the easiest hundred fifty I'll ever make.
Sonic: If you don't count your crazy black market schemes.
Manic: Shut up.

“As you wish your highness.” Kathryn gently tipped her head to Sally. This took Sally back. “How did you know?”

Amy: She just does. They know everything.
Sonic, Sonia, Manic: *humming the theme to "The Twilight Zone"*

“My family worked in your families services for many years.” Kathryn said, finishing her plate.

Sonia: Yeah. Sure. Uh-huh.

Then she turned to Sonic. “Come on, we need to hurry.”

To Be Continued

Sonic: *woodenly* It surely can't get any worse, right?

Well, I hope you like my redo of this chapter. I'm working on the other chapters as I go. So please bear with me and please and R&R.

Those with wings,
Fly to your dreams.

Sonia: Maybe somebody will fly into the Sun or something.
Sonic: Can I wish for Kathryn to do an Icarus on us, then?
Sonia: If only your wish would come true, Sonic.

--

Continue to Part Two
Go Back to Origins Page
Go Back to Episode List
Go Back to Main MST 'EM Page