Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Black Crow Crew, Episode 13: Sabrina's Adventure 2: Return of Sabrina (Part One)

--

Note: Yes, this is obviously a sequel. If you haven't read the riffing of "Sabrina's Adventure", go here. It's a six part riffing.

--

Kyo: Oh, for the love of god, why the hell are we here?! She's a monument! A monument! Was she a creamy center the whole time?!
Cassy: *shrugs* I guess so, dude.

1. Sabrina Returns

Miyu: Well, isn't that incredibly redundant.

10 years ago today...

A young girl named Sabrina was left an orphan,her parents were killed,she had no family,she had no friends.She had a very special gift,the black chaos emerald in her body.She dedicated herself to avenge her parent's death on a man named Dr. Eggman,an evil mad scientist.While she was on her journey,she met up with several heroes who wanted to help,but she wanted to go alone.They followed her through adventure,joy,and sorrow.She knew one very special friend who had suffered the same tragic past,a black hedgehog named Shadow.The two hedgehogs went on many adventures,Sabrina found out that she had a twin brother named Sabre.The yellow and black hedgehog was bent on destruction and chaos.Sabre and Dr. Eggman unleashed a a deadly plot to conquer the world using the seven chaos emeralds and the master emerald to power up a very destructive weapon.They used the weapon to destroy the Earth,Sabrina made her wish and used her chaos power and sacrificed herself to save the planet.When her friends found her,she was a stone figure in the island where the weapon hit.There was the black emerald on the statue,everyone cried that day,they said their goodbyes and left,Shadow stayed behind,he put his hand on the emerald,her voice came into his mind,they talked and said their final goodbyes.He left a large bouquet of roses by the emerald and left.

Jessie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down! Who's recapping so fast?
Cassy: Senketsu.

"Syranora,Shadow the Hedgehog,one day,we shall meet again."

Miyu: *brings out the previous fic, reads* Uh... that's not what it said in the last fic. She actually said, "Syronara,Shadow the Hedgehog.I will miss you all."
Kyo: Suethor couldn't be assed to use copy and paste, huh?
Miyu: *adjusts glasses* No, that's because Apple didn't invent that with their iPhones yet, Kyo.
Kyo: *chuckles at Miyu's response* And she still misspelled "Sayonara". Yeah, who cares about spelling when punctuation is still in the crapper?

On that very same island,Sabrina's stone figure stood there,untouched by the powers of chaos.It was raining,thundering,and shooting bolts of lightning through the dark black sky.

Cassy: Uh-oh. Shermie's back from the dead, and she is pissed!

The statue was washed clean.Nobody has visited that island in 10 years,

Jessie: Of course it had to be a secluded island. You know, the secluded island that had a giant fortress.

suddenly,the black chaos emerald started glowing in it's host on the statue,the statue started crackling,the lightning started flashing more fierce.The lightning started striking the stone figure,the flashes becoming more powerful with each strike.The statue started changing shape,size,and color.

Miyu: Oh, boy! She's a disco ball!
Kyo: As if she couldn't be any more sparkly and Sueish.
Cassy: Alright, who pissed off the Miyadama sisters?
Jessie: Don't look at me.

Suddenly,there was a bright black flash that surrounded the figure,the flash grew into a giant white ball,the ball grew bigger each second,spreading across the crashing ocean like chaos control. The white ball if light started fading away as the storm retreated.The rain stopped,the sky grew silent,the lighning continued to strike the white ball,the ball continued to shrink and dim.The light finally disappeared,the lightning stopped flashing,the sky turned a starry dark blue.The statue was no more,there was a yellow hedgehog in the statue's place,lying there with no movements at all,the hedgehog was glowing a deep black arora as it layed there,silent.

Jessie: *now asleep*
Miyu: Uh... *taps Jessie*
Kyo: Jesus, Suethor. Just resurrect her stupid butt and get it over with.

The next morning,there was a dim,orange sunrise,starting to glow brighter each minute.The land started lighting up as the rays of light hit the quiet earth.

Cassy: That's some freaky land, dude.

The yellow hedgehog was still laying on the ground,not moving,a ray of light hit the girl's face,she started flinching,moving her fingers and toes.

Kyo: Unfortunately, it didn't blind her ass. And great, this brat's back from the dead, so... *gets a saw out*
Miyu: *snatches the saw away* Kyo!
Kyo: Why won't you let me do this to myself, Miyu?
Miyu: Because you need to suffer along with us.

The girl opened her eyes and saw the clear,blue sky. "What? I'm alive? But how?"

Jessie: *while rubbing one of her eyes* Plot device crap.

She sat up and looked around,she was on the same island.

Cassy: *bangs her head on the table* What! The! Hell!
Miyu: And the hand holding returns! I really did not miss that one bit.

"It worked,didn't Knuckles say that my plan would kill me?"

Jessie: Yes, and we wonder why you're back.

Then she remembered about Sonic and his friends. "Oh no,I hope they're okay!"

Kyo: Yeah, they managed to live for a decade without your scene stealing butt. And they were just getting their brains back!
Miyu: It took them ten years?
Kyo: Hey, brains need to heal. They needed a long time to heal after the massive stupidity in the last fic.

She stood up,but when she did,she fell back down,she was still very weak from the sacrifice she made.

Cassy: Just to hammer in the fact that she was special, remember the sacrifice?!
Jessie: *grumbles*

She started exercising,in a few moments she was able to stand up and start running at supersonic speed over the ocean,

Kyo: Are you fucking kidding me?!
Miyu: Yeah, that's actually physically impossible. She's been dormant for an entire decade, yet it takes her a few moments to get her limbs working again? Yes, our favorite hated Mary Sue is back.

she skimmed the water until she saw Station Square. "Here I come,Sonic!" She ran to the large city.

Jessie: Please trip and drown so we don't have to deal with this mess again.
Cassy: Not happening, dude.

2. Sabrina finds the gang

In Station Square...

It's been exactly ten years since Sabrina sacrificed herself,

All: *whacks their dunce caps off of their heads*
Kyo: Stop holding my hand, Suethor.

things were very quiet in the city,Eggman hasn't been seen since Sabrina turned into a statue.

Cassy: Maybe it had to do with the fact that he died!
Miyu: Well, it never said that he died, Cassidy. It was only implied. Meaning... yes, he's probably going to come back because... reasons.
Cassy: Dude, he's dead. We're just going to have to live with that.

Right after Sabrina disappeared,the people of the city made a memorial for Sabrina.

Jessie: *annoyed* They're still kissing her ass ten years later?
Kyo: Yep. Never forget the mind warper, Jess.

Sonic and his friends have been relaxing at their homes,Sonic was relaxing at the Emerald Coast Beach, Amy was  swimming in the water with Cream and Tails.Knuckles was at Angel Island after getting the Master Emerald returned by Sonic. Shadow was resting on the beach.

Kyo: And Kyo didn't give a rat's ass about any of this crap.
Miyu: Uh... it doesn't sound like they're relaxing at their homes if they're all on the beach or swimming in the water...
Cassy: Screw the consistency, dude.

"Hey guys,want some smoothies,it's all on me!" Sonic said after he sat up and stretched. Everyone ran to the snack stand and chose their flavors.After they all got their smoothies,they went back to the beach.

Cassy: *deadpan* Thrilling.

While they were drinking,a civilian saw something in the water and ran out. "AAHH!! There's something out there!" The lifeguard looked out and saw a fast moving object coming their way.

Jessie: *plays the theme to "Jaws"*

He blew his whistle. "EVERYBODY OUT OF THE WATER!!!" People started running out of the water and moved inland.There were so many people rushing out,Sonic and the others were nearly trampled in the stampede of people.

Miyu: Jeez, if they got trampled, there wouldn't be a fic!
Kyo: Really? *clasps his hands together* Please, please, please let this happen!

Amy,Cream,and Tails got out of the water and went to Sonic. "Sonic,what is it?" Sonic looked around the water and saw a very fast object moving their way. "I don't know,but whatever it is,it's a speedy one!" Sonic walked towards the water and looked again,it was a yellow hedgehog. Sonic gasped. "Hey guys,I think it's Sabre!" Everyone got angry and ran to the water.

Cassy: And then the sharks ate them. The End.

The hovering figure got closer to them,suddenly,the figure went so fast to the beach that it dusted everyone there.

Miyu: It's nice to know that she's still an insufferable showoff. *sarcastically* Oh, this is going to be a wonderful sequel.

Sonic was blinded,when the dust cleared,he gasped.The figure spoke. "Long time no see,did you miss me?"

All: We sure didn't!

Everyone perked up at the familiar voice. Sonic smiled and grinned. "S-Sabrina? Is that you?" The figure stepped out of the dust cloud to reveal herself. "You bet!" Everyone jumped into the air and ran to her. "SABRINA!!!" Everyone was hugging her,they picked her up and tossed her in the air.Sabrina screamed in complete joy.

Kyo: And then she hit the sand head first and broke her neck. Good riddance.

Shadow was the only one not there,he was still leaning against the wall of a building,Sabrina saw a tear fall down his face.

Kyo: *rolls his eyes*
Jessie: Pfft...
Cassy: *laughs loudly*
Miyu: Um... did Shadow turn into the Native American from that littering commercial?

Everyone was looking at him,very confused.Shadow looked much different than he was 10 years ago.His quills were longer,the ones that curled up were split on the ends,there were also two longer ones hanging down his back.He had strange green light pads that were in the place of his old gold bracelets.

Jessie: *removes a paper airplane from her hair* Huh... it's a note from the Hedgehog triplets. *reads* Yeah, we know you can't style quills...
Kyo: So... Shadow quit showering during that time? Sounds a bit gross.
Miyu: Uh... he needed those gold bracelets. They were power limiters. On the other hand, it was mentioned in his story in Sonic '06, and this fic was written in 2004, so I'll let that pass.

Sabrina hardly recognized him.

Jessie: How? He's still a black hedgehog with red eyes.
Kyo: Lady, that's every Sonic OC ever. They don't even need to be hedgehogs.
Cassy: *smiles sheepishly*
Kyo: Oh, yeah. Sorry, Kitty.

"Shadow? Is that you?" Shadow opened his eyes and looked at her,she had also changed her appearance,even though she was turned to stone 10 years ago.

All: *confused* How?! She was stone!
Cassy: We're only two chapters in, and I already want to throw myself out of the nearest closed window!

Her quills were much longer,reaching all the way down to her feet,her clothes were the same ones she was wearing when she disappeared,she had three bangs on her forehead.

Jessie: *curtly* Nobody. Freaking. Cares.
Miyu: Well, now that doesn't make any sense. If her quills were growing, then... she's been stuck in that state and not completely petrified, with no food or water. She should be dead or traumatized from this!
Kyo: Yeah, but this fic's been pulling crap out of its own ass since day one. Logic's gone, Miyu.

Shadow sighed deeply,he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her tightly.A tear ran down his face.

Cassy: *as Shadow* Why did you litter, Sabrina?

"Sabrina,I missed you so much! I thought you would be gone forever."

Kyo: Me, too. I mean, Jessie killed her!
Jessie: Well, how was I supposed to know that she'd resurrect herself after being a skeleton?!
Cassy: I was more surprised that it regained consciousness and crap, dude.

Sonic went in front of her and sighed sarcastically. "Yeah,Shadow's been acting strange since you disappeared! He's been mumbling your name,he was spacing out all the time.I think he has a crush on you!"

Miyu: Oh, my god, it's worse than we thought! That Mary Sue truly ruined his mind!

Shadow's eyes opened wide. "I DO NOT! SHE'S JUST A GOOD FRIEND!!!"

Kyo, Jessie, Cassy: *coughbullshitcough*
Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Yes, and I'm Madonna. I'm going on tour next year!

Sonic shrugged and walked away. "Yeah right!" Sonic yelled before he ran off. "Hey!" Shadow ran after him. Cream walked to Sabrina and gave her a necklace of red roses. "I know I'm a little old for this,but this is for you,Sabrina."

Cassy: Uh, how the hell did she manage to make a necklace of red roses on the beach?

Sabrina smiled and hugged her.She put the necklace on. "Thank you,Miss Cream."

Kyo: Unfortunately, the roses contained bees!

The two girls laughed.Sonic was still running away from Shadow,until Sabrina stuck her leg out and tripped Sonic. "Whoa!" He fell to the ground with a loud thud.

Miyu: *facepalms*
Cassy: You asshole.

Shadow stopped and laughed. "HA HA! Did you have a nice trip?"

Jessie: You're cheesier than Miyu's quesadillas.

Sonic stood back up and dusted himself off. "Ha ha ha,very funny,Shadow." Sabrina giggled and walked towards the water.She jumped in the water and started swimming. "Man,this place really changed over the years!"

Cassy: Dude, it's water. Unless someone dumped oil in it, it hasn't changed.

Sabrina started floating in the water,she closed her eyes and sighed,until Tails,Amy,and Cream dunked her. "Hey!" She swam back up and started splashing them. They splashed back at her,Tails suddenly used his two tails to make a giant wave of water,the three girls got soaked. "TAILS!!!" They all started splashing at him until he retreated back to the beach,soaking wet. Sonic and Shadow laughed at him,until Tails shook himself off and shot water at them,soaking them. They both fell to the ground and got covered in sand. Everyone started laughing,the three girls got out of the water and dried off. Sabrina didn't have a towel,Shadow saw this and picked up his towel. "Here,use mine." Sabrina gladly took the towel and dried off. "Thank you,Shadow." Shadow nodded and walked by the others. Before he could catch up, he turned around and smiled. "Nice to have you back,Sabrina." Shadow walked away and caught up with the others. Sabrina smiled and followed them.

Kyo: *snores*
Miyu: *nudges Kyo* Where's the plot?
Jessie: We don't need it. Just do the useless sparkly filler and bore the audience to death.

The six heroes were walking through the large city,Sabrina was very familiar with the buildings around her,there were many new buildings around her as well.

Cassy: *slams her head on the table*
Miyu: *places a pillow on the table to halt Cassy* Please don't do that, Cassidy. You need your brain cells.
Cassy: *groans*

"Wow! This place REALLY changed!"

Jessie: *facepalms* Ten years, you dumbass. Of course things will change. Man, you're a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

Suddenly,she saw a very familiar building,she stopped and gasped. "I-It's my house!" Sonic and the others stopped and looked at the building,there was a large,golden plaque next to the door.Sabrina walked up to it and read the plaque.

In loving memory of Sabrina Hedgehog,a loved friend and a hero.
Saved the world from a deadly threat.
But the cost was a friend,a hero,a loved one.

Kyo: Yeah, yeah, yeah, who cares? Where's my damn cyanide pill...

Sabrina let a tear down her face,

Miyu: Don't litter, ladies and gentlemen.

she put her hand on the golden sheet and sighed.

Jessie: A plaque is not a sheet. You forgot what a plaque was that quickly?

She took her hand off of the plaque and walked back to her friends.Sabrina got confused and stopped walking.Sonic noticed her and stopped next to her. "Hey,something bothering you?" Sabrina sighed deeply.

Cassy: *while her face is in the pillow* No, but there's something bothering me. Like the fact that her dumb butt is back.

"Well,it's just that,before I went to stop the eclipse cannon from hitting the Earth,Knuckles told me that my plan would probably destroy me.I sacrificed myself to save you guys,to save everyone,to avenge my parents! I'm just wondering why I'm still alive. I'm so confused!"

Jessie: *tugs at her hair, screams* Because you're a goddamn Mary Sue! You have a Chaos Emerald in place of a stupid heart! What part of this do you not get?!
Miyu: All of it.
Jessie: *sighs while fixing her hair* Well, that was obvious, Miyu.

Sonic thought for a moment.

Kyo: Yeah, he used his brain. Sure.

"Hmm,I've been wondering the same thing,Sabrina. Maybe Knuckles might know what's going on.How about we both go to Angel Island tomorrow and ask him,okay?" Sabrina nodded. The two hedgehogs walked back to the group.

Cassy: And then she punched him in the face again. Because... *plays a recording of Manic shouting "Grrrl Powah!"

A few minutes later,Sonic,Tails,Amy,Cream,Shadow,and Sabrina arrived a a very large house.It was over 50 feet high,had three floors,had a large balcony. Sabrina gasped. "Where are we?" Sonic chuckled and opened the door. "This is our new home,Sabrina. All of us moved together in here about a year after you disappeared.You'll be staying here with us!"

Miyu: Okay, time out. Why would they move to another house when they could have renovated the giant mansion that they gave her? Sonic and company are not made of money.
Kyo: *pulls out Miyu's riffing list* You riffed "Rainbow Eclipse". Recite what you remembered about that fic, please.
Miyu: *screams in horror*
Kyo: *hugs Miyu* Oh, I didn't know it was that bad. *kisses Miyu's forehead* I'm sorry.
Miyu: Just... no more, Kyo. No more.
Kyo: I know.

Sabrina smiled. "Thank you Sonic,we'll all be like a big family,together!" Everyone smiled.

Jessie: *places her hands in her face, groans in annoyance*
Kyo: I'm gonna puke.
Miyu: Don't throw up on me, Kyo. You're still holding me.
Kyo: Oh. Sorry about that, baby.

Shadow stood next to her. "C'mon,want me to show you around?" Sabrina smiled again. "Sure,okay!" Everyone walked into the large house.

Cassy: And then I kicked her off the top, and she plummeted to her death. Fic's over!
Jessie: If only that would happen, Cassy.

--

Continue to Part Two
Go Back to Incredibly Resilient Riffers Page
Go Back to Episode List
Go Back to Main MST 'EM Page