Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Black Crow Crew, Episode 9: Sabrina's Adventure (Part Two)

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Sabrina vs. Knuckles (Chapter 4)

Jessie: Knuckles loses to the Sue. I'm calling it.

Sonic:You're on

Tails:But where are we going to find a bad guy?

Sonic and Sabrina sweatdrop

Miyu: How about jail, where Robotnik's... I don't know... locked in!

Sabrina:I have an idea,how about we all travel the world to find a bad guy?

Cassy: Won't that pad out the story?
Kyo: There's a story in this thing?

Sonic:Great idea!

Cassy: No, you noodnik! It's a crappy idea! Why is everyone praising her?!

When do we start?

Sabrina:Right now.Ready....Go!

The three heroes ran at the speed of sound to search for a villan for the challenge.

Jessie: This is some really stupid filler. Get to the plot!
Kyo, Miyu, Cassy: What plot?

In New York City:
Sonic:Now where do I need to go to find a challenge?
He ran through the city in a split second
Sonic:Nothing here but yellow taxis, I'm outta here.

Miyu: I believe that he has also left out pizza and the occasional robbery.

In Africa
Sabrina:Man, this place is full of animals,but no people?This is CRAZY!

Miyu: *sarcastically* Yes, there are no people in Africa. Also, Africa is a country.
Kyo: If someone from that continent slaughters her, I will cheer.

Suddenly a cheetah runs past her
Sabrina:Hey,wow, now that is a fast cat!
She races the cheetah about a mile
Sabrina:Sorry, but I can run 11 times faster than you,ha ha!
Hmm,nothing here, I better go.
She raced off

Cassy: Remember: There is no such thing as a humble Mary Sue.

In China:
Tails:Hmmm, maybe I can find something he..WoW,

Miyu: World of Warcraft?

the Great Wall of China, I've gotta see this!
Tails took pictures and followed the giant wall for about a thousand miles
Tails:Oh,Man,outta film.Oh well,I better go.

Jessie: Does this kid have too much time on his hands or what?

Before sunset everyone came back at the sametime(Well what a rare time for that to happen!)

Cassy: "Rare", my ass.

Sonic: well ,did you find anything?

Tails:Nothing,but hey, I got some cool pictures of China!

Kyo: *as Tails* It's a thousand miles of the Great Wall!

Sabrina:Hey let me see!

Sonic:Sabrina, did you find anything?

Sabrina:No.

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* That's because she left her brain in Africa. Yes, only animals reside there, and there are no people of African descent inhabiting this earth.
Kyo: *stares at Miyu* Yeah, you've really dated me for a long while now.

Sonic:Well, I didn't find anything either, hey wait, I know exactly who to use for the challenge!

Sabrina and Tails:Who?

Sonic:Just follow me.

Miyu: *as Sonic* I know the perfect moron to exploit for you, Mary Sue!

In a second they found themselves by an island with a wooden bridge.They walked across it.

Kyo: Sounds more like teleportation.

Sonic:Hey, Knuckles!

A red echidna with a white crescent on his chest and two large knuckles on each of his fists ran over toward Sonic.

Jessie: I would've returned the brownie points to the author, but I gave them to some girl during the mini break.

Knuckles:Hey Sonic, what's up...Who is this?!Why is a stranger on MY island, and such a lovely one?

Cassy: Yes, and Mary Sues can make Knuckles, who is shy around girls, into some random Benimaru Nikaido clone.

Knuckles walked over toward Sabrina, took her hand and kissed it(O O)
Sonic and Tails:O-O

Sabrina:HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME LIKE THAT!!
She made a fist and PUNCHED HIM DIRECTLY IN HIS FACE.

Miyu, Jessie, Cassy: What the...
Kyo: These damn "Grrrl Powah!" Sues, I swear...

Knuckles:X X

Sonic:Whew, glad that's over.Good thinking Sabrina!

Miyu: Hold on -- you're praising her for doing this?! Are you out of your popcorned mind?!

Sabrina:(blushes)Well thanks.

Jessie: Okay, who wants to land the first blow on this brat?
All: *raises their hands*
Jessie: Looks like we're going to have to draw straws, guys.

Knuckles:So it's a fight you want huh?

Sonic:Whoa, take it easy Knuckles.

Cassy: "Take it easy"?! She just punched him in the face here!
Kyo: Let's hope that she doesn't bother me. I do hit back.
Cassy: Verbally or physically?
Kyo: Verbally first. Always.

This is Sabrina, we found her by the waterfall yesterday unconcious,so we brought her in and she woke up a day later.

Miyu: And one day later, I've somehow murdered the repitition in its sleep.

She wanted to challenge me in a battle with you, since you were the only one we could find.

Jessie: And nobody remembers Rouge, Bean, Mighty, Vector, Charmy, Ray, Blaze, Marine... list goes on.

Knuckles:Well I'm keeping an eye on her so she doesn't try to take the Master Emerald.

Sabrina:Master what?

All: Master Emerald, you dumbass!

Knuckles:If you win the fight, I will tell you.

Sabrina:Okay.

Sonic:Get ready....

Sabrina and Knuckles got into fighting poses

Sonic:Fight!

All: And Knuckles loses.

Knuckles was the first to strike.He ran at her as fast as he could, but Sabrina quickly dodged the attackmoved so fast behind him that he didn't see her.She made a fist and punched him in the back.Knuckles went flying into the altar.He immedietly got back up and ran behind her and punched her in the head.She flew off to the edge of the floating island, she was hanging on the edge of the island, she pulled herself back up easily and ran back at Knuckles and knocked him on the ground, he could not get up.

Kyo: "Ultimate" was written better than this... and that's saying a hell of a lot.

Knuckles:Alright already, just get off of me!I can't believe I was beaten up by a girl.

Miyu: He must have taken classes with Shadow at the School of Misogyny.
Jessie: As usual, we must hate our resident red dumbass.

Sonic:Sabrina is the winner!

Sabrina:Wow, this is the first time I fought someone and I won!

Jessie: *sighs* Alright, the rules are simple. You three pick the straw that you want, while I get the remaining one. Longest straw goes first, while the shortest straw gets the last blow. Are we clear?
Kyo, Miyu, Cassy: Agreed.
Jessie: Go for it.
*After a few seconds, it is revealed that Cassy has the longest straw, followed by Miyu, Jessie, and then Kyo.*
Kyo: I'm not that bitter... I guess I need to burn the evidence, anyway.

Were you just going easy on me because I am a girl,Knuckles?

Kyo: *plays a recording of Manic shouting "Grrrl Powah!"*

Knuckles:Yeah, since you were new here.

Sabrina:Aww, how sweet of you.

Cassy: And a part of me wants to throw up.
Miyu: Are you sure that it's only a part, Cassidy?

Sonic:Well that was a short fight.

Jessie: You also left out "pointless" and "stupid".

Welcome to the team Sabrina.

Kyo: Tch. I'd toss her fishy cyborg ass back into the lake.

Sabrina:Thanks Sonic,now we can start looking for Eggman together.

Cassy: But he's in jail, damn it! There's nothing to look for!
Miyu: Maybe the Robotnik half is incarcerated while the Eggman half is roaming around.

A Mystery to be Revealed (Chapter 5)

Sabrina:So, you know about eggman?

Sonic:I've known that mad scientist for years, he's always trying to take over the world, but I always defeat him and his dumb robots.

Sabrina:Do you know where he is?

Kyo: *as Sonic* He's in that pit full of spikes. I'll be more than happy to boot you down there so you can join him.

Sonic:Yeah, why?

Sabrina:It's my destiny to avenge my parents for what Eggman did.

Kyo, Miyu, Jessie: Blah, blah, blah, destiny, blah, blah, blah.
Cassy: I hate that word so frickin' much right now, dudes.

Sonic:Well, what are we waiting for?Lets go!

Tails:Yeah!

Knuckles:Lets rock!

Kyo: Um, Hulk? We need you back in those 90's Marvel versus games. Thanks.

Tails:Wait, hold on, let me get the chaos emerald first.

Tails went to his workshop and came back with a blue chaos emerald.

Sabrina:What is it?

All: A Chaos Emerald, you airhead!

Sonic:It's called a chaos emerald.There are seven of these, and they hold very special powers, and if all seven are collected,you will be invincible!

Cassy: *as Sonic* But there is a slight problem... you must be a male hedgehog for that to work.

Suddenly, the chaos emerald started to glow,and Sabrina started feeling strange.

Sabrina:Ahh,Whats happening to me!?

Miyu: Ah, so the Chaos Emerald is a Sue detector and destroyer. Neat.

Knuckles:Do you have a chaos emerald?

Kyo: If the answer is "yes", I'll personally yank it out of her. I don't care where it is.

Sabrina:No,please get that away,I feel like I'm going to be sick.

Jessie: Hey, I'm sick of you, too!

Sonic but the emerald in a box and put it in his pocket.

Knuckles:What was that all about?

Cassy: She needed to swoon so she could get more attention.

Tails:I don't know, but that kind of reaction only happens when two or more emeralds come together.

Knuckles:Sabrina said that she didn't have any emeralds.

Sonic:Maybe we should take her to Tails' workshop to see whats wrong with her.

Cassy: It's time to play our Mary Sue version of "Operation"! Let's find out where the rainbows are located!

Sonic,Tails,and Knuckles ran to the workshop to find out the strange mystery thats on with Sabrina.

Inside the workshop

Jessie: Next on "Redundancy Playhouse"...

Sonic:(Thinking)What could the reaction have to do with Sabrina?

Tails sat Sabrina on a table and took her heartrate check.

Tails:Hmm, your heartbeat is normal.Breathing rate is normal also.

Miyu: Cousin Tails has managed to squeeze in a few medical lessons at the tender age of eight. You can never be smarter than a Prower.
Cassy: *grins* Then why're you stuck with a trio of masochistic and bloodthirsty nuts?
Miyu: That's why my own family considers me an odd one, Cassidy.

Tails took out a machine and held it in front of her belly.

Sabrina:What are you going to do?

Tails:I'm just going to give you a quick x-ray to see if there is any objects.

Miyu: "If there are any objects", Cousin Tails.

Sabrina:Will it hurt?

Kyo: Please say yes, Tails. I also call dibs on the bones if it fries her flesh off.

Sonic:You shouldn't feel a thing.

Sabrina:Okay

Tails turned the x-ray on and a bright light filled the room.

Jessie: Great, now everyone's going to suffer from radiation problems in the near future.

Tails:Okay, I'm going to take a few pictures.

Miyu: Why don't you use the Great Wall of China as an example?

Six bright flashes filled the room, Tails turned the machine off.

Tails looked at the results, and saw a familiar object.

Tails:It looks like.....

Cassy: ...the end of this fic?
Kyo: *weakly laughs* Hell no, Goth Kitty.

The 8th Chaos Emerald (Chapter 6)

Tails:It looks like,like....

Miyu: And "The Repetition Hour" continues.

Sonic and Tails:A CHAOS EMERALD!!

Sabrina:What is it?

All: It's a Chaos Emerald, you dingbat!
Jessie: Christ on crackers, are you deaf?!

Tails:Sabrina, you have a chaos emerald in your body,but it's right where your heart is supposed to be,actually I don't even see a heart!

Miyu, Jessie: ...
Cassy: What the hell is this shit?
Kyo: Oh, for crap's sake... I need some ice cream with some chocolate fudge flavored arsenic or something.

Sonic:What if the emerald is the heart,maybe thats how she got her powers.

Sabrina:Is this bad?

Miyu: *rubs her head* No, it's just stupid.

Tails:Well, the chaos emerald is a very powerful source of energy, you're the one who is controlling the energy,if we take the emerald out of you,the energy will go out of control and you can't control it and it will probalbly leave your body to find another protector, since you won't have your powers,or any energy,you will die.

Kyo: *holding a rather large pair of needle-nose pliers* Heh, well... I'll be sure to fix that! I can't be sued if I kill a Sue with medical malpractice!

Sonic:Wait a second,if Sabrina had this emerald inside her this whole time in her life,and we've been on countless adventures against Eggman, and I used the seven chaos emerald alot of times,is this a chaos emerald number 8?

Cassy: Congratulations, Sonic! You've finally learned to count to eight!
Jessie: *sighs* Hanging myself sounds like a better alternative at this point.

Tails:Maybe Knuckles might know what to do.

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* He can punch us in the heads so we can forget that this fic ever existed.

Sonic:Hey, let's go there and maybe he might know what to do.

Mystic Ruins:Angel Island

Sonic:Knuc...Tails,Sabrina,look,he's sleeping.

Knuckles:(snore)

Sonic:Okay,Knuckles time to get up.

Knuckles:(snore)

Kyo: If this gets any more bland, I'm going to snore.

Sonic:KNUCKLES WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!

Knuckles:Yaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!

Knuckles shot about 50 feet in the air and landed on the ground with a boom.

Jessie: *woodenly* Oh, the hilarity.

Knuckles:What did you do that for?!

Cassy: *as Sonic* Because I am a dick.

Sonic:Never mind about that,we need your help.

Knuckles:what for?

Tails:Knuckles,do you know anything about an 8th chaos emerald?

Miyu: *as Knuckles* Alright, Tails... which emerald did you duplicate now?

Knuckles:Did you say an 8th emerald?!

Sonic:Yeah,and its inside Sabrina.

Cassy: Hey, Kyo... get those pliers ready, dude. I'll be in the front row of your little surgery.

Knuckles walks over to Sabrina and uses his powers to seek the emerald.

Tails:Don't try to take it out of her.

Kyo: *laughing evilly* I will! Try and stop me, you warped bastards! I'm heavily flammable!

Knuckles:Hm,this emerald is black,and it seems to be very powerful,almost as powerful as all seven emeralds combined!

Jessie: Hmm, where's that sniper rifle of mine? I'd like to end this misery now...

Knuckles:Thousands of years ago,back when the echidna tribes existed,a brave and powerful ruler created a black jewel known as the 8th chaos emerald.He made it so powerful that it could easily overpower the other 7 emeralds and it may be stronger than the Master Emerald.When a great war erupted into a battle for the chaos emeralds, the ruler sent the power of the 8th emerald into the Master Emerald there it remained until a warrior strong enough to withstand the energy and control it arose.The one who is chosen will be the new guardian of the 8th emerald.

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* I'm sorry, what? All I heard was a plot that was fit for a Mary Sue.

Sonic:So what you mean is that since Sabrina is stronger than us,she was chosen as the new guardian of that emerald?

Knuckles:Thats right,and since she holds the strongest emerald,she can easily sense the other emeralds,and if she is put in a life threatening situation, the energy of the emerald will react and control her body to defend and protect the emerald.

Miyu: *breaks her glasses* I'm done reading.
Kyo: *hands Miyu a new pair of glasses*
Miyu: I hate you, Kyo.
Kyo: I love you too, Miyu.

Sonic:Thats understandable.

All: No, it isn't!

Aw man,its getting late, we better get some shuteye.

Later...

Sonic:(snore)

Tail s:(snore)

Kyo: *snores*
Miyu: *pokes Kyo*

Sabrina:(Thinking)Why do I get this strange feeling,maybe I just need some fresh air.

Jessie: Angel Island's basically the Floating Island, right?
Cassy: Yep.
Jessie: And nobody's pushed her off yet?

She gets up and starts running

Mystic Ruins:Jungle

Sabrina:This feeling,its getting stronger.

The feeling kept getting stronger and stronger and stronger until she notices a dark black figure on the ground in front of her.

Kyo: As opposed to light black?

Sabrina:(Gasp)Its a hedgehog! Its holding a chaos emerald!

Miyu: *woodenly* Whee. It's Shadow. What else is new?

It was all battered and bruised and had red stripes.

Cassy: Sounds more like an abused puppy than a hedgehog.

Sabrina looked close at it and it seemed to be breathing and unconcious.

Jessie: And then Shadow woke up and beat the tar out of her. Right? Right?!

Sabrina picked it up and ran back to Tails's workshop where Sonic and Tails were sleeping.

Cassy: Jeez, they sure know how to teleport rather quickly, huh?

Sabrina:Sonic!Tails!Come quick!

Sonic:What is it,Sabrina?

Sabrina:Look I found someone!

Kyo: *as Sonic, sighs* What did we tell you about bringing your clones over to other people's places, Mary Sue?

Sonic looked close and instantly recognized the figure.

Sonic:It's Shadow!!!

Cassy: *woodenly* Yes, who else could it be?

Tails:Shadow!?He's alive?

Sonic:He's unconcious.

Jessie: Thanks a lot, fanbrats. You just had to resurrect him.

(I firgot to write that the 2nd chapter occured right after the ARK incident)

Miyu: Hey, author, do you want to know a secret? Try editing the second chapter!

Sonic:Tails,get some water now!

Tails:Right.

Kyo: Jeez, is water the solution to everything in this fic? Maybe it can cure massive blood loss, too.

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