Mystery Science Theater En Masse
Black Crow Crew, Episode 9: Sabrina's Adventure (Part Four)
--
Chaos Emerald Found and the Secret Stalker (Chapter 10)
Next Morning...
Sonic woke up with the sounds of snoring surrounding him.
Cassy: Those guys need to invest in some anti-snoring meds or strips.
He sat up and stretched.He was sleeping on the sofa.He looked around and saw Shadow,Tails,Knuckles,Amy,Cream,and Sabrina sleeping on the other furniture.He quietly hopped off the sofa and tiptoed across the room,trying not to wake anyone up.He made it to the kitchen and started making breakfast for the others.
Kyo: *referring to himself in the third person* And he got up and stretched his tired muscles. He was sick of the constant repetition. If he wasn't underaged at the moment, he'd drink constantly. He sat back down, sighing.
As he was cooking,he heard a small yawn coming from the other room,he turned aroud and saw Cream and Cheese walk into the kitchen and sit down by the table."Good morning,Mr. Sonic." "Good morning,Cream. Did you get a nice sleep?" Cream nodded a yes.Sonic took the pan off of the stove and set the food on some plates and set them on the table.He made eggs,bacon,toast,hash browns,and orange juice.
Jessie: Anything spiked with rum there? Oh, sweet brown medicine...
Sonic heard a sound,he heard a sound like a door closing.He looked in the room where the others were sleeping,he saw that Knuckles had left,probably to get back to Angel Island.Sonic chuckled to himself.He set one of the breakfast plates at table where Cream was sitting."Thank you, Mr. Sonic!" "Anytime,Cream!" He gave her a thumbs up.He then heard a yawn.He then saw Sabrina walk in the kitchen."Hey,Sonic!" Sonic set a plate of food at the table for her.
Miyu: *sighs* I thought the story was just beginning. Why
are we dealing with a long breakfast scene?
Cassy: Jeez, at this rate, we should've riffed "Twilight".
Miyu: No, Cassidy... this fic is a lot shorter than those
"books". I don't want to prolong the pain here.
"Hey,Sabrina! Have a good dance last night?" "Oh,yes,it was wonderful! What about you?" Sonic did a half okay-half embarassed smile."Eh,it was okay." He continued to make breakfast.Then,Shadow walked into the kitchen."Hey,what's cookin'?" "Just some breakfast.
Kyo: Can you cook my brains, too? Just put me out of my misery here!
"Then,Sonic remembered about the idea about Shadow's home."Hey Shadow, we were thinking you deserve a place of your own,just like Sabrina's surprise.Is that okay for you?" Shadow was getting the idea,but he wasn't sure.Then he accepted it."Sure.This place is getting crowded anyway."
Jessie: We're never going to see or hear about his place because he's not Sabrina.
Shadow sat at the table and Sonic set a plate of food out for him.Shadow picked up his fork and started eating.Cream and Sabrina were already eating to their fill.Sabrina finished eating first and washed her dishes."That was good,Sonic! I'm gonna go for a quick swim!"
Cassy: *as Sonic, mumbling* I hope you get a nasty cramp.
Miyu: *as Sabrina* What was that?
Cassy: *as Sonic* I said that that couch has a nasty flap! Have a nice swim!
Sabrina tiptoed through the room,trying not to wake up Tails and Amy.She made it through the room and went to get a swimsuit on,Amy had given her one along with the new clothes she got before her 'Rage' incident.
Miyu: Because we, the reading audience, are too stupid to remember when she got her new clothes.
She put it on and ran out the door toward the waterfall.She had never swimmed at the waterfall before.She had many experiences swimming.
Kyo: Then explain the other times where she had trouble swimming in this fic!
She started climbing on the ledges of the cliff until she got to the top.When she looked down,she saw a beautiful view of the ocean,and she saw Tails's workshop.
Cassy: And then Jessie pushed her off.
Jessie: The perfect crime.
She lifted her arms up,held her hands over her head and she jumped.She was diving about 500 feet at about 200 mph towards the water.When she finally hit the water,she made a huge splash and swam to the bottom of the lake.
Jessie: Why the hell is that odd math there? Do we care
about any of that?
Miyu: No... not really. And if she's diving like that, she should be
jelly!
Kyo: Mary Sues don't need math, Miyu. They're all beautiful and
sparkly and invincible. And I hate them.
Suddenly,she started feeling a strange power,similar to the one she felt when she found Shadow.
All: It's an emerald.
She kept swimming deeper towards the bottom until she felt it.The strange energy was much stronger,she was close,she opened her eyes and looked around until she saw a faint glow several feet away from her.
All: *annoyed* It's an emerald!
She started swimming toward it,the closer she got,the stronger the energy was getting.When she got to it,she saw that it was a large red gem,about the size of her fist.The power was really strong now,she grabbed the red gem and swam up to the surface.When she looked at it,she realized she was holding a chaos emerald."Whoa! It's a chaos emerald!"
All: *groaning in frustration*
She swam to the edge of the lake and ran towards Tails's workshop."Sonic! Tails!" Sonic ran outside to see a soaked Sabrina holding the chaos emerald.Sabrina showed him the emerald."I found this while I was swimming.It looks like a chaos emerald." Sonic recognized the gem."It is a chaos emerald! Where was it?" "It was at the bottom of the lake where I was swimming." Sonic called Tails."Hey Tails, we found a chaos emerald!" Tails ran out of the workshop,he had just finished eating."A chaos emerald?"
Jessie: Guys, count the number of times that the word "emerald"
was used in that paragraph.
Kyo: Hmm. It's six times, Jess.
Jessie: Then that's six shots of vodka.
Cassy: Oh, to hell with that! I'm not letting you pass out while we have
to deal with this sluggish fic!
Shadow,Amy,and Cream were watching from behind."Hmm,I'll take this to my lab and do some tests on it.Thanks Sabrina!" "I'm gonna go back swimming.
Miyu: *as Sabrina* Maybe I'll find another Chaos Emerald because I'm so special!
Hey Amy,do you and Cream want to come with?" "Sure,okay! What about you,Cream?" "No thank you,Miss Sabrina.I have to go home or mom will get worried about me."
Cassy: Well... at least the author kept Cream in
character.
Kyo: That's because it's hard to yank her out of character.
Amy went inside to get her swimsuit on.She instantly came back out ready."Mind if I bring my sun chair with me?" "Not at all,Amy. Want a ride?" "Uh,sure!" Sabrina picked up Amy and her chair. "Ready! Here we go!" Sabrina instantly ran at the speed of sound. "Whoa!" Amy was getting used to this,she was used to having Sonic carry her like this.In a few seconds, they were at the lake.Sabrina put Amy down and gave her her chair.Amy started to put some tanning lotion on."Hey Sabrina, need some sunscreen?" Sabrina was already at the top of the cliff,getting ready to dive."Hey Amy, watch this!" She jumped off the cliff, she did a few poses while on her way down,when she got close to the water,she got back into her diving form and dove straight into the water.
Cassy: And then she broke her neck.
Jessie: Good.
Sabrina was underwater for about a minute,then she started doing some backstrokes.Amy really liked that trick,she got in the water and started swimming."Wow,that was awesome! Where did you learn that?" Sabrina swam up to her."I learned that not too long ago, when I was an orphan.
Miyu: "Was"? You're still an orphan! As long as your parents are deceased, you will remain an orphan!
I was walking by the public pool when I saw this guy who was doing a trick on the high dive,I watched him do it.I really liked that trick, so I decided to try it." "Wow!" Amy then had a question on her mind."Hey Sabrina, about that dance that happened last night, how did you get to dance with Shadow? I mean,not that I'm jealous or anything,just wondering."
Kyo: Yeah, she's jealous. Everyone's gotta be jealous of the Sue.
Sabrina thought for a moment and came up."Actually Amy, I'm not real sure how that happened, either.Shadow just walked up to me and he asked me to dance,so I danced with him." Amy came up with a conclusion."I think Shadow has a thing for you,Sabrina!" Sabrina didn't get it."What?" "I'm saying that Shadow has a bit of a crush on you! It's the only reason he rescued you, being nice to you,and even danced with you! He's in love with you,just like I am with Sonic!"
Jessie: Bang. There's your Shadow/Sue pairing.
Sabrina was very surprised.
All: We weren't.
"What!? No way!" Sabrina calmed down."Well then,I guess I'll have to talk to him about it!" They both continued swimming.Suddenly,they heard a rustling sound,it was coming from the bushes.Sabrina looked behind her and saw Knuckles hiding behind the bushes.
Miyu: Knuckles is the new Rodney Dangerfield; he gets no respect at all.
"Knuckles, you pervert!" Sabrina picked up a rock and threw it by the bushes."Ow! Hey!" He walked out of the bushes to see a very angry Sabrina.Knuckles ran away, scared.
Kyo: Yes, turning Knuckles into a pervert and giving him
a concussion is so cute. Jerk Ass Sue.
Jessie: You know what else is cute?
Kyo: What?
Jessie: *cocks a pistol* Blowing her brains out.
Miyu: You all are so violent...
Sabrina got out of the water and dried off."I'm going back to the workshop.You gonna stay?" "Wait,I'm going,too!" Amy dried off and got her chair.Both walked back to the workshop.
Jessie: *sighs* Yes, I think we got that.
Little did they know they were being watched...
Cassy: By Kusanagi?
Miyu: Hey, you're not supposed to know about that!
Cassy: But Kyo read those fics, and you're not calling him out!
Miyu: Well, that's because... um... we'll talk about this later.
"Hmmhmmhmm, at last sister,I have found you! You will pay for what you did to me!"
Cassy: Uh... what did she do?
Miyu: Something magical, Cassidy.
Sabrina's New Home and Sabre Strikes (Chapter 11)
Kyo: Chapter 11? I'm filing for the bankruptcy of my brain.
Sabrina and Amy had just gotten back to Tails's workshop after they were swimming...
All: We got that!
"Hey guys,we're back!" The workshop was quiet and empty."Wonder where they went."
Cassy: Yes! They left the fic!
Amy looked around and saw a piece of paper on the table."Hey Sabrina,I found a note!" She picked it up and read it.
Miyu: *adjusts glasses* It said, "Dear Sabrina: We couldn't stand your wretched Mary Sueness and we had to leave in order to preserve the remaining brain cells that, to our amazement, haven't perished yet. No love, every canon character that used to be here."
Amy and Sabrina,
We went to Station Square to get stuff for Sabrina and Shadow's new houses.We
will meet you at the train station in the city.Hope to see you there!
Your friends,Sonic,Tails,Shadow.
Miyu: Or it could have said that, too.
"Well,I guess we should catch up to them before we lose them!" Amy said.Sabrina and Amy got dressed and left for the train station.They got on a train and the train took off for Station Square.While they were on the train,they looked around and saw a strange person watching them.The person was reading a newspaper,but kept staring at Sabrina.She could hardly see the face because of the paper in front of it,she could see black hair,black clothes,and a spiked bracelet on it's arm.
Cassy: Was the bracelet black?
Kyo: Ha! Anyway, I have ten bucks that says that the person's evil.
Because, you know, black always means that they're evil.
Cassy: As a black cat, this saddens me.
Sabrina shrugged and closed her eyes to rest.It would be about a half hour before they get to Station Square.
About a half hour later,
Jessie: *repeatedly hitting her head against her armrest* Oh! My! God!
the train stopped.Sabrina was woken up by Amy.She had fallen asleep during the trip.
All: *annoyed* We... got... that!
Kyo: Christ, we're not goldfish!
Sabrina stretched and yawned,then she looked around and saw that strange person staring at her again.She gave it a puzzled look and left.
Cassy: "It"? I'm sure you can tell through a newspaper.
Miyu: It's not a newspaper, Cassidy. It's a giant blanket with tiny words on
it.
When she got there,she and Amy saw Shadow waiting for them."What took you girls so long? I was waiting about an hour!" "Well then let's go! What are we waiting for!"The three hedgehogs sped off.
The strange person followed them out of the station, still with the paper over his face."You cannot escape,sister!"
Kyo: Ooh, so threatening! Even with that evil newspaper!
Shadow,Amy,and Sabrina arrived in front of a large house that was on the beach.The ocean was a beautiful saphire blue color that shone when the sky was clear."Wow,it's beautiful here!" The house had three floors and had a balcony on the third floor facing towards the ocean.A very large kitchen,five bedrooms,two bathrooms,and a sky dome at the top,for looking at the stars."Whoa,this place is perfect! Thank you,Sonic! You're the best!"
Kyo: *jaw drops in bewilderment*
Miyu: *facepalms*
Jessie: They bought her... a mansion?!
Cassy: You know what? Let me go back to "Brewdening Love". I miss
the hypocrisy.
Shadow stood up and walked out the door."I'm gonna go walk." He slowly walked outside.
Kyo: Which is something I'd like to do. Actually, I want to walk outside, go back into space, and head right into the Sun.
When he got outside he had a strange feeling,like if someone was following him.
Miyu: And nine times out of ten, they're always right.
He started running,suddenly,a strange,dark figure got in front of him and grabbed him by the neck."*cough* What do you want? Who are you?" The figure spoke."Where is she?"
Cassy: Oh, you're looking for a sparkly Sue? You gotta narrow it down, dude.
Shadow was being choked.
All: Dur-hay!
"Who? Where's who?" "You know who I'm talking about! The girl! Where is the girl?!"
Jessie: Be more specific, sweetie. We cannot translate "Typical Evil Person" speak yet.
The figure sounded enraged
All: No, really?
and pinned Shadow against a building,threatening him."I don't know who you're talking about!"
Cassy: Yeah, you do. She's yellow, she's perfect, she craps rainbows...
The stranger picked shadow up by the neck and dragged him into an ally."Well then,I guess I'll have to make you talk!" The stranger started punching him.Even though he was an excellent fighter,he couldn't get near the stranger.
Kyo: Holy shit, Dusk's returned!
Miyu: I doubt it, Kyo. I mean, he was all power, no personality, and no
brains. As if he'd jump into other fics.
"I guess I have to get her myself,since you won't talk!"
Jessie: Well, maybe if you didn't keep beating his brains down into his intestines...
He picked Shadow up, used chains to tie him up,and tossed him into a garbage can and closed the lid.
Cassy: Kinky or... trashy? You decide!
Kyo, Miyu, Jessie: Get out, Cassy!
Kyo: Where's the Apollo Theater audience when you need them?
"I'll be back if I don't find her,and if I don't find her,
Miyu: ...then you won't find her. Simple as that.
you shall suffer more drastic consequences." The stranger ran away at supersonic speed.
Jessie: Do any of you three have supersonic speed?
Kyo, Miyu, Cassy: Nope.
Jessie: Thank god for that.
Sabrina was getting ready to go outside for some fresh air, when she heard this banging sound by her door.She looked outside and saw a brick in front of her,there was a piece of paper.She picked it up and read it:
Cassy: It said, "You're dead, Sue! We know where you live! Signed, a bunch of angry riffers."
If you want your friend back,meet me on the 21st ally.Come alone, or else!
An old friend.
Cassy: Or it could've said that, too. Whatever.
Miyu: Wait, why would someone knock on the door and then throw a brick
through a window? That makes no sense!
Kyo: She defied physics, Miyu. Sense flew out the window -- no pun
intended -- long ago.
She immediatley noticed that Shadow was gone."Shadow!" There was no answer.
Jessie: *irritated* Of course there'd be no -- good god, I'm ready to beat somebody silly in this thing!
She was getting worried,her best friend was kidnapped.She looked at the note again and read the address."21st ally?
Miyu: Right next to 21st Century Real Estate!
There are hundreds of alleys here in the city."
Kyo: Were they all next to each other? This is one weird city.
She looked across the street and read the green sign between two buildings.It said 21.
Cassy: Do we have to construct a sign that says "Your Doom Here!" in ginormous bold letters, too?
She ran across the street and entered the alley.It was dark and dirty,there was no light.
All: *irritated* Of course! It's a damn alley!
"Shadow?" there was no answer.She was getting scared.Then a powerful gust of wind passed her,then a black streak.Someone was here,she started backing away."Who's there?" She heard an evil laughter.
Jessie: Yep, it's Dusk. Do we have to draw straws again,
or...
Cassy: Free for all! Jump in and pile up on him!
Then she heard a voice."Hmmhmmhmm,It's been a while!" Sabrina looked behind her.There was a yellow hedgehog standing right behind her,he had hair exactly like hers,but with large bangs hanging over his red eyes.His hair had black all over the bottom half of his quills and bangs.He had all black clothing on with a black sleevless top and black pants with a red line running down them,he also wore black and white shoes and a spiked collar on his neck and arms.
Miyu: Is there anything else that's black that you've
neglected to mention, author?
Kyo: Aside from my vision after reading this thing?
Miyu: Oh, my.
"Who are you? Where's Shadow?" The evil hedgehog remembered about the black hedgehog in the trash can.
Kyo: And the red-orange fox is bored out of his mind.
"Oh,that black boy I fought?
All: Um...
Cassy: Really awkward wording, dude.
You won't be seeing him for a while.And how could you not remember your own brother?" Sabrina instantly froze on what he said,she didn't remember having a twin brother."My what?!" "That's right,I am Sabre the Hedgehog,your brother and you are my sister!"
All: *labored breathing* Luke...
Sabrina didn't believe what he said."No! I don't have a brother! I don't have any parents! I have no family!" Sabre tried to give her proof.He pulled out something from his pocket and held it out to her."Maybe this will freshen your memories,sister." Sabrina took the picture from his hand and looked at it.It was a picture of Sabrina with her parents,and she looked closely at it.Then she saw it, a little baby black and yellow hedgehog sitting next to her in the stroller.
Jessie: Oh, come on! That could be photoshopped for all you know!
"*gasp* You're right! But how did you survive the Eggman's attack?"
Miyu: Maybe he had the rubber ball abilities, too.
"You fool! Dr. Eggman was the one who saved me! That's why I came here, for revenge!" Sabrina froze again,she couldn't believe she had a twin brother that was working for Eggman."Sabre! I came here for revenge on what happened to our parents! Why are you after me?"
Cassy: Revenge Flakes are a part of this clichéd and cloned breakfast.
Sabre gave an evil snicker.
All: *irritated* We know he's evil, damn it!
"After Eggman found me and saved me,as he raised me,he told me that you were the one who killed my parents!"
Kyo: Man, he's dumber than Knuckles.
Sabre suddenly ran at supersonic speed at Sabrina,he punched her arm.
Miyu: Does Sabrina have "HIT ME HERE!" in bold letters on her arm? It's almost as if every strike on her goes there.
"Ngh,what are you doing!?"
Kyo: I'll take "Beating You Up" for $500 please, Alex.
Sabre gave another evil smile.
Jessie: What about a powerful evil smile?
"Getting revenge!" He started kicking her,
Cassy: ...in the arm.
Sabrina stood up.
Miyu: You're being kicked. How can you stand up all of a
sudden?
Jessie: Teleportation.
"I was almost killed, Eggman is an evil person who only wants to conquer the world! I was an orphan for 13 years trying to get revenge for what he did to our family! How do you think I got my friends here to help me?"
Miyu: Um, genius? Unless your parents magically came back
to life, you're still an orphan! What part of that don't you understand?!
Cassy: I, I, I. Jebus, Sues always look out for themselves, huh?
Screw their relatives and such.
Kyo: I'm scared of the fact that she has that intense baby memory.
Sabre didn't believe her words."Nonsense! you are going to pay for what you did!" He started running at her again.
Miyu: Because that's the only action in this fic... running. Well, aside from hitting her in the arm, of course.
Sabrina didn't want to fight her own brother.
Kyo: I will. My battle skills are a little rusty, you see...
"No, stop! I don't want to hurt you!"
All: He does.
It was too late,Sabre ran up to her and punched her in the face.
Cassy: Dude needs to learn how to block.
Sabrina went flying into a building and crashed into it.She fell off the building and landed on her hands and did a flip.
Jessie: So... why aren't her hands sprained?
Cassy: Sues can survive minor injuries. It's a fact.
"Stop!" Sabre ran at her again and puched her in the shoulder.She went into another building and fell on the ground.She struggled to get back up,she did and she changed her mind."Thats it! I have no other choice but to fight!"
Kyo: 'Bout damn time, lady!
Sabrina got enraged and ran at Sabre.She got to him and kicked him in the head.Sabre went flying into a metal gate and bouce off it onto the ground.
Miyu: Apparently, the gate's a tennis net.
Jessie: Brain damage. It does a body good.
Sabre stood up and grinned."So,you finally decide to fight! Let's see what you got!" He ran at her again and threw another punch at her,she ducked and dodged every move he made.He managed to jab her in the arm and knock her down.
Miyu: More arm damage? What is this?
Cassy: You're telling me that this... this thing, who has
a Chaos Emerald inside of her... the one that's supposed to be stronger than all
of the others, falls down from a simple jab?
Kyo: Well, nobody said that she was physically strong.
Cassy: Dude! The fic said that she has super strength, and she one-shotted Knuckles earlier!
Kyo: Oh, yeah. Never mind, I guess she's Ash's Pikachu in hedgehog form.
At least she's yellow like that electric rat.
"Hey!" Sabrina got up,but was knocked down again by a push.Sabre kept pummeling her,kicking and stomping her,Sabrina was in complete pain.Sabre didn't stop,he just kept punching her,kicking her,stomping on her,choking her.Sabrina felt like she was going to die,she couldn't breathe,she couldn't move,she couldn't see.
Jessie: Okay, get to the part where that's terrible, please.
Suddenly, she started feeling strange again,a black arora formed around her,her eyes turned red,she was feeling strong again.Sabre saw the change in her appearance and backed away."What is this,some kind of trick?"
Miyu: *pushes glasses up* Nope. That's the magical butt pull power, sir.
Sabrina stood up,walked over to Sabre,and punched him very hard in the stomach.He fell on his knees and coughed very loudly."What's going on? What are you?"
Kyo: It's a Mary Sue at full power! Run, you!
He looked up at her and saw the dark arora covering her body,the evil red glowing eyes,the dark grin on her face."It's like she went evil,dark,destructive."
Cassy: Like two peas in a pod, huh?
Sabre stood up and ran at her again, trying to punch her.He saw something,he saw a small ball of black light in her hand,it grew bigger each second until it was the size of a baseball.Sabrina pointed the ball at Sabre and the ball flew out of her hand at an incredible speed.Sabre didn't react quick enough to move,the ball hit him in the arm.
Miyu: Can we just turn everyone in this fic into giant arms and be done with it?
Sabre screamed in deep pain and he fell to the ground.A dark,evil voice came from Sabrina's mouth as she walked toward Sabre."Fool! Do you think you can hurt me? You shall suffer!"
Jessie: Oh, crap, Dusk just decided to inhabit her body! It's spreading like a virus!
Sabre tried to get up and walk away,but his arm was injured.
All: *flatly* How convenient.
Suddenly,Sabre jumped in the air and vanished."I am not finished,sister! I will return!" he disappeared.
Kyo: I didn't know that M. Bison was her brother. What a strange family.
Sabrina had a strange feeling again.Her eyes turned back to normal,the black arora disappeared,her wounds were healed.
Miyu: Now she has the power to heal herself. Great. How many
abilities does she have again?
Kyo, Jessie, Cassy: Too damn many.
"Huh,what happened?Where's Sabre?" She looked around and saw that he was gone.She then heard a banging sound from behind her,it sounde like metal.Then she heard a muffled voice from the same place,she remembered that Shadow was missing.
Jessie: We now have proof that Mary Sues have brains the size of chickpeas.
She walked over to the noise and saw a garbage can moving.She walked to it and lifted the lid,she saw Shadow tied up inside.She pulled him out,and set him on the ground.She removed the cloth that was over his mouth."About time! Get these chains off me!"
Kyo: *as Shadow* And for some reason, I couldn't do Chaos Control because I had to be rescued like a damsel in distress! What the hell?!
Sabrina used her sharp teeth and bit the chains,they broke in half.
Miyu: Okay, now this fic's just getting stupid.
Cassy: It was stupid the moment she got a damn mansion.
Shadow got them off his arms and stood up."Did Sabre do this to you?" "Sabre?" Shadow didn't know who she was talking about."Never mind,I will tell everyone when we get back to the house.Are you okay?" Shadow had many bruises on him.
Jessie: I'm going to take an obvious guess and say that he isn't.
"Yeah,I guess." Sabrina came with a solution."Here,let me show you something." She put her hand on his and a black light glowed on it.The light spreaded to Shadow's whole body,
Kyo: Wait, she can heal others, too?! *heavily sighs* Why does this Mary Sue need another power?!
he had a strange feeling,he started feeling stronger,healthier,better.The glow faded away, Sabrina took her hand away from his and stood up.Shadow was astonished at what had just happened, he looked at his arms and legs,they had no marks or scratches on them.
Miyu, Cassy: *facepalms*
Kyo, Jessie: *repeatedly hitting their heads against their armrests*
"H-How did you do that?"
All: Because she's a damn Mary Sue.
Cassy: They always get powers out of the butt.
Sabrina was asking the same thing about herself."I don't know,I guess it came up in my head! I think it's that emerald!"
Miyu: *breaks her glasses* I seriously cannot read
another word of this nonsense.
Jessie: *tosses Miyu a new pair of glasses*
Miyu: This is also getting rather tiresome.
Cassy: Um... do you still have those giant pliers, Kyo?
Kyo: Yep. I'll start the surgery the second we're done with this fic.
Shadow stood up and started walking away."Are you coming or what?" Sabrina stood up and caught up with him.Shadow looked at her."Thank you for saving me." They both left the alley and walked back to Sabrina's house.
Kyo: Yeah, about that... cross out "house". Replace that
with "odd ginormous mansion that Sonic just had to crap out of his butt".
Miyu: I would reprimand you for that statement... but I can't if it's
true.
Kyo: Thanks for understanding, baby.
Run Away and Shadow's Feelings (Chapter 12)
Shadow and Sabrina had just got back to her new house in Station Square after they fought Sabre...
Cassy: This is what it should've said: Shadow and
Sabrina return to her illogical Station Square mansion after Sabrina (and
only Sabrina) fought Sabre
with her magical Sue-per powers...
Sonic sat in Sabrina's kitchen,worried about where she and Shadow are.They have
been missing for over an hour."Man,where did those two go now?" Tails had left
already,back to his workshop.
Jessie: Where they're filming "The Unearthly 2".
He heard the door open and close,then Sabrina and Shadow walked in."Where were you two? I've been waiting over an hour!" He tapped his foot impatiently."Sonic, there's an evil hedgehog out there trying to get me!" Sabrina explained.
Miyu: Oh, calm down. It's just the possessed Sonic from the Anti-Mary Sue and Gary Stu gallery coming after you.
"What? Why?" Shadow stepped in."Sonic, a yellow hedgehog that looks like Sabrina held me hostage! This person is dangerous!" Sabrina jumped back in. "I really don't believe this,but he said that he's...my twin brother!" Sonic was silenced for a moment."What! No way, Sabrina,did you know this?" Sabrina remembered the picture and pulled it out."What's this?" Sonic asked as he took the picture from her."He gave it to me after I fought him."
Kyo: *as Sonic* You ninny, this's a photoshopped pic! See? Whoever did this decided to switch the heads on your mom and dad!
"So,this is your family?" Sabrina slowly nodded. "Yeah, that yellow hedgehog there is my mom,and that blue one there is my dad.But that black and yellow hedgehog there is the one who attacked me,my brother,Sabre."
Miyu: But I thought you didn't believe that he was your
brother earlier!
Jessie: Sues weren't built to think, Miyu.
Sonic looked closely at the picture again and chuckled. "Hm, your father looks like me,alot!"
Cassy: Welcome to Sonic Recolor City! Population: Too damn many!
He gave the picture back to Sabrina, who sighed deeply.
Jessie: At least she didn't snap at him and pull
out a bullshit reason for why he should never see Tails and Amy.
Kyo: Thank god we didn't riff that fic.
Jessie: Don't thank your lucky stars just yet.
"Yeah,that's who you remind me of.Whenever I see you, it makes me feel better,happier,safer." Sonic smiled.Sabrina started leaning against him and closed her eyes,she soon drifted off to sleep.Sonic smiled."Goodnight,Sabrina." Sonic closed his eyes and went to sleep.Shadow walked to the couch and laid down,he soon fell asleep.
Miyu: Wait, it was night? Why the heck didn't we know
about that?
Cassy: This thing's got some odd timeskips.
Next Morning...
Sonic woke up when a bright light hit his eyes.He opened his eyes to see the
rising sun,he looked across the room and saw Shadow sleeping on the couch,but he
also saw Sabrina sleeping on the floor next to him.He smiled and sat up,then
stood up and quietly ran outside and left.
Cassy: Hope he left the fanfic.
Miyu: And why was she sleeping on the floor? Is she a puppy or something?
Kyo: Oh, I think I know why she was on the floor.
Miyu, Jessie, Cassy: Kyo!
Shadow woke up a few hours later,he sat up and stretched,then he saw Sabrina
sleeping next to him on the floor. "What?" He remembered seeing her sleeping by
Sonic last night, he quietly stood up and walked around her,but before he could
do his last step,he felt something grab his leg.He turned his head and saw
Sabrina with her arms around it.Shadow didn't know what to do,he tried to pull
his foot out without waking her,but she held on tighter.Shadow got a little
nervous and pulled a little harder until his hover skate slipped off."Whoa!"
Shadow flew out of his shoe and fell on the floor with a loud thud.Sabrina heard
the thud and opened her eyes,she saw that she had Shadow's shoe in her hands.
"Huh?" She looked over at Shadow.
Jessie: *woodenly* The humor.
He got up,walked over to Sabrina and took his hover skate. "Don't touch my shoes!" He put his hover skate back on.Sabrina realized what she did."Uh,oops,sorry Shadow! I do that sometimes!"
Cassy: *as Sabrina* Besides, I just want to kill everyone in their sleep so I can be the new star of the Sonic series!
Shadow stood up and started walking out the door. "Where are you going?" Shadow turned around. "I'm going to look for that hedgehog! You'd better stay here in case he's after you again."
Miyu: And so, Lancelot Shadow attempted to protect the Sue from... whatever. But you all know that he will get thrashed again, so why bother?
Sabrina was surprised he was going after her brother,even though he is stronger than Shadow. She stood up. "No! Shadow, Sabre is too powerful for you to fight alone! You could get killed! Besides,he's my brother and so it is my resposibility to stop him!"
Cassy: Insert your one billionth Dusk jab here. Because, as
you all know, he's too powerful.
Miyu: *sighs* Why do people always make their Mary Sues and Gary Stus have
better fighting abilities than Knuckles or Shadow?
It's quite irritating.
Kyo: Sabrina? Ma'am? You have more sense than I do... because if I had a brother
that was dumber than Knuckles, I'd kick him to the curb and throw him off of a cliff.
Jessie: Ah, fratricide.
Shadow understood,but he didn't want anyone innocent to get hurt. "Sorry, but it is my mission to bring hope to humanity.It was Maria's wish." "Who's Maria?" Shadow never told her about the story of his past. "Maria...She was my only friend,my only family,she was the only person I could depend on,until she got shot because of me, she died because of me! She wanted for me to grant her wish, to bring hope to humanity." Sabrina sighed. "Boy,I didn't know you suffered like that just like I did,
Miyu: *imitates buzzer*
Jessie: Shadow saw Maria die in front of his face. You were a freakin' baby when your parents died! Babies don't have that sort of memory!
Cassy: Sue babies do.
looks like we've got the same mission.To save the world and protect humanity,huh?"
Miyu: *imitates buzzer*
Kyo: Your mission is personal, you idiot. Or did some random angel
tell you to protect humanity when we weren't looking?
Shadow scoffed and sat down. "Hmph, it seems so,but that doesn't mean you have to follow me everywhere I go!" Sabrina was getting upset. "I know,but this is MY mission! I'd rather go by myself!"
Cassy: *as Sabrina, whining* Besides, I'm the star of this show! Feel sorry for me, you stupid peon!
Shadow got angry. " Yeah, well,I'd like to see you try!" "As a matter of fact,I WILL!!" Sabrina stood up and walked out of her house,slamming the door behind her.
Miyu, Jessie, Cassy: Uh-oh...
Kyo: She's pulled a Kathryn on us.
Shadow realized what he did and ran out the door after her,but when he opened the door,she was gone.Shadow didn't really mean for her to leave and stop Sabre alone.
Kyo: Ah, let her go. One less Sue on the planet.
"Sabrina!" There was no answer,everything was quiet.He started running through the city, he checked every nook and cranny of the city, but he couldn't find her,she was gone,probably forever.
All: Good.
Shadow sadly went back to Sabrina's house,hoping she would come back,but she never did.Shadow never left the house.He just sat in there,thinking,sleeping,pacing the same room for hours and hours.Shadow was getting worried about her.He even cried at times.He kept rethinking about the happy times they had.
Jessie: What happy times? He only knew the gal for about
a week or so.
Cassy: Dear god, this Sue sucked Shadow's personality out so hard...
and the next Shadow wannabe is gonna feel it.
Their first encounter,the first time he saved her,the secret about her rage,their first dance,the first time she save him.All of those thoughts raced through his mind the rest of that day.He didn't eat,he didn't sleep,he didn't run,he didn't do anything besides think.Nobody has heard from him since.
Cassy: *tosses a razorblade*
Miyu: Um... did this fic hit the high point of the
nonsense meter yet?
Kyo: It'll probably go off the charts before we're through.
The next day,Sonic was going to Sabrina's house to ask for a race.He knocked on
the door,he was expecting for Sabrina to answer,but when the door opened,he saw
Shadow there. "Shadow,what are you doing here?" Shadow didn't answer,all he did
was close the door on everyone who came there.Shadow didn't leave the house for
several days.
Cassy: *sarcastically* Thanks for reinforcing the emo stereotype that you were trying so hard to avoid, Shadow. You give all of us in black a good name.
Sonic,Tails,Amy,and Cream were getting worried about Sabrina since they haven't seen her in quite a while, going on a week now.
Kyo: Yes, everyone! Halt your lives because the Sue's
poofed off of the planet! Don't you guys have the guts to cut your puppet
strings yet?
Jessie: Nope. Anyway, is she dead? Knock once for no, twice for yes.
And if it is yes... I'm bringing chips and dip to the Sue-free neighborhood
barbecue.
One day,Sonic snapped and went to Sabrina's house to talk to Shadow.He furiously pounded on her door. "SHADOW! WE NEED TO TALK! OPEN THIS DOOR,SHADOW!!" Shadow slowly opened the door,but he started to close it.Sonic pushed it back open and walked in.Tails,Amy,and Cream were behind him. "Shadow,what in the world has gotten into you?! Why are you doing this,where's Sabrina?" Shadow sighed deeply and spoke. "Sonic...Sabrina....is gone.She left." Everyone gasped at what he said. "WHAT!?"
Miyu: *as Sonic* Yes! Time to party!
Shadow tried to explain the problem. "You see...a few days ago,I was planning to go look for Sabre,Sabrina didn't want me to go alone,she wanted to go with me,but I refused to let her go,Sabre is out there somewhere,I didn't want her to get hurt,then we got in an argument,then she left,I went to look for her,but I couldn't find her anywhere.So I stayed here,hoping she would come back.I shouldn't have yelled at her like that,I was too hard on her!"
All: No, you weren't.
Sonic heard every word. "You idiot! She's out there looking for Sabre?! That also means Eggman is up to something! We have to go find her!" Amy walked up to Shadow and slapped him in the face. "HOW DARE YOU HURT A GIRL LIKE THAT!! YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!"
Jessie: *as Shadow, slaps Amy* And you're turning into your "Sonic Battle" self! Wake up, you moronic pink spore!
Everyone started pionting fingers at him,yelling at him,and even hitting him.Cream walked up to him. "Why did you hurt Miss Sabrina like that, why?" Tears started to show in Shadow's eyes,he suddenly stood up and ran out of the house.
Kyo: Oh, son of a bitch! We have our own version of
Kathryn now!
Jessie: Of course, it's never the Sue's fault for going on an idiotic
suicide mission.
Miyu: *gets up* Yes, in order to help the person who has withdrawn from
everyone else... you make him feel even worse about the situation at
hand. Nice going. Anyway, I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be back in a little bit.
Cassy: *sighs* And just when I thought that this fic couldn't suck any
more crap and ass.
"I-I got to go! Leave me alone!" He ran outside and almost got hit by a car,
Jessie: Actually getting hit by one would be ten times better than staying in this piece of crap fic.
then went into an alley.Sonic ran behind him and followed.Shadow stopped in a dead end,he layed down and curled into a ball.
Kyo: That's what happens when you take away his MySpace account.
Sonic stopped next to him and sat down. "Shadow,maybe we can do something about this.Maybe we should go find her,and find Sabre."
Jessie: "Maybe"?!
Kyo: "Sonic", you're a dick.
Shadow uncurled himself and looked up at Sonic. "Do you really think she would come back? She said that Sabre is her brother, so it is her responsibility to stop him! She said that she didn't want anyone interfering her mission." Sonic smiled and looked at him. "Yeah, she's gonna get herself killed! I know you care for her, but I do too.We should go find her and stop her brother.What do you say?"
Cassy: Please say "no". She's like Ecstasy. She'll screw you over.
Kyo: A bit too late to say that now, Kitty.
Shadow closed his eyes
and thought for a moment.He opened them and smiled. "Okay,let's do this!" Sonic
smiled and stood up. "That's the heroic spirit,Shadow!" Shadow stood up and they
walked back to Sabrina's house.
When Sonic and Shadow got back to Sabrina's house,Tails,Cream,and Amy were
waiting for them to return.They saw the door open and saw Sonic and Shadow.
"Were going to go look for Sabrina.Tails,you're coming with us.Amy and Cream,you
should stay here.
Cassy: *sarcastically* Yeah, women suck!
Tails,get the chaos emeralds and the Tornado ready!" Sonic shouted. "Okay!" Tails left the house and to the train station. Amy and Cream walked out of the house to go home. "Alright, just be careful,okay?" Amy said to him before she went through the door.
Kyo: Um... who's the "him" that she's referring to?
Jessie: Great. We've lost the formatting battle, nearly lost the spelling
battle, and now we don't know who's talking to who anymore!
"Good luck,Mister Sonic!" Sonic gave them a thumbs up.
Cassy: Oh. They were talking to Sonic.
Jessie: Still doesn't help much.
A few minutes later,Tails arrived with the Tornado,he landed in front of the house and hopped out. "I got the emeralds,Sonic!" Tails showed him the blue emerald and the red emerald.Shadow stepped up and took out his green emerald. "Count me in,too!" Sonic put his hand in the middle,then Tails put his hand on Sonic's,and Shadow put his hand on Tails's. Tails hopped in the Tornado and put the chaos emeralds in the energy container. "Ready to fly?" Sonic and Shadow smiled and gave a thumbs up.They both jumped into the cockpit and Sonic got on the rear of the plane. "Ready to roll,champ?" Tails nodded and turned on the Tornado's jets.The bi-plane started moving very fast,it stayed on the ground until it went off the Station Square pier and started flying in the sky. "Whoohoo!!" Sonic screamed in the sky as they flew over the ocean.The water was a deep blue,sapphire coloring, it was sparkling from the beautiful midday sun.
Cassy: And there goes another sudden timeskip with a bit
of purple
prose.
Miyu: *returns, sits back down* Did I miss anything?
Kyo: Nope. Well, aside from Sonic saying, "OMG, I will suddenly forgive you
after I bitched at you for a stupid reason!"? No.
Miyu: Oh. And by the way, Jessie... why are sparkles escaping from under
your bedroom door?
Jessie: I spilled some glitter earlier. I'll clean it up after the
fic.
Kyo, Miyu, Cassy: *stares at Jessie* Uh-huh.
Jessie: Stop looking at me.
Shadow got an idea and decided to sit on the wing of the bi-plane,he stood up and crawled out of the cockpit and sat on the wing,Sonic saw him. "Hey,how's the view,Shadow?" Shadow looked down,he was over water,he was afraid of water.
Miyu: And what material was that "fact" located in? Because the one who is actually afraid of water is Sonic.
Suddenly,the plane started tilting.Shadow got scared. "Ahh, what's happening?" Tails turned his head."Just doin' a trick for style! Here we go!" The plane started turning faster until it was upside-down.Shadow was scared and started hanging on tight to the bars. "Whaaaa!!" Shadow then got the hang of the trick. "Yeah!" everyone enloyed the stunt and the plane stopped spinning and continued it's trip to search for Sabrina.
All: Oh, let her be.
Cassy: Idiot deserves to be nuked.
Will they find Sabrina,or will they find Sabre and square off? Next chapter
coming in 2 days! Please Review!
Kyo: I can't take any more of this. I just... I just
can't.
Jessie: Now I know how the hedgehogs felt that day.
--
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