Mystery Science Theater En Masse
Behind The Scenes: Season Three
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M19/B09 - Sabrina's Adventure
Looks like we have a three way tie. The old version of Sabrina's sharing the season's worst MST 'EM Sue title with some other Sues. Read on to find the second and third "winners".
And about this fic? Dear heavens... this may have been the most horrible thing that I have ever riffed. It is true that this is the Black Crow's worst fic so far, but overall for this series? Well, your mileage may vary on that.
However, the author was around fourteen when she wrote this, I think. Even though it is terrible, that doesn't make me exempt from the fact that I've also written some Sues when I was around that age.
M20/A09 - A Rare Chance In Life
Yes, Kaori's our second Sue in the "worst Sue" thing. Pretty obvious.
Only one word could describe this fic as I was working with it...
Frustrating.
I know it's one thing to make it an alternate universe. It's another for it to be a self insert fic. And it's yet another thing... if your self insert gets away with crapping all over the canon while having a horrible personality to boot.
Not to mention that the author has a very illogical dislike in her bio. I mean, hating Kyo because Yuki can't battle? And keep in mind that she called Yuki a "dumbass"... never mind that she's basically a straight A student! I really, really hope that the author's dialed down on that annoying "Grrrl Powah!" trait... she did have a decade to do that, after all. (Hell, if I can cut back on that stupid "Grrl Powah!" thing, then so can she.)
Also, I love how the Sue wouldn't let an OOC Benimaru touch her friend, but she seemed way too eager to ogle Iori... thank God he never showed up. For you Sonic fans that know nothing about KOF, this is the equivalent of the Sues in your fandom hating everyone else for falling over somebody while the Sue has the hots for Shadow.
M21/B10 - the journey of cathy
I don't have any negative thoughts about this fic, I just thought that it was boring and very predictable. Nothing special.
M22/C01 - Always You
This is definitely far from a horrible riffed fic, but what placed the question mark on my face was the fact that there was a porn scene right at the beginning, and then the author tried her hand at a plot after that. Unfortunately... that pretty much fell flat.
M23/A10 - Killing Time
Blah, blah, blah, another relationship list. Anyway, the fan letter is just more proof that most Twilight fans are dumb as bricks. Nothing to see here, move along.
M24/D01 - A better version of Da Princess in da gle club
Let's be honest... I actually liked this fic. Yes, it made me laugh. And yes, you may be asking, "But Sony/Sissy! I thought that 'MST 'EM' was for exposing crap fics and such!"
Well, have you ever watched MST3K? Remember when Joel and the bots riffed "The Magic Sword" and they actually thought that it was pretty good? Well, this is a perfect example of something that was decent and was riffed.
M25/S03 - A Story of Destined Love
And here's our third Sue. The old Emi may not have been a jerk like Sabrina and Kaori was, but somehow, she managed to wrap a few key characters around her Anti-Sue finger.
I've been poking fun at my fics in some episodes, so I figured... why not riff them? I was originally going to give this to the Egg Spiral only, but considering how crazy this fic got... it had to be a special.
Now, here's what bugged me about my own fic... Emi's Anti-Sueness (my boyfriend, who is also the editor of this series, called her a "nerfed Shingo"), the slight purple prose, the lack of plot, and the fact that everyone had to curse like a blasted sailor. Remember, Emi was supposed to be refined and sweet. I highly doubt that proper people would call everyone "sick fucks".
So, maybe you're wondering how I felt about riffing my own material. I will admit, it was hard, especially when I knew I was digging my wrist into a bunch of old crap. It was all cringeworthy, especially the rape scene... I just hope I didn't go too light on myself, because I didn't want to be biased. Besides, if it's crap, you might as well have eight riffers say the same thing, too.
M26/C02 - She Loves Her Oniisan Too Much
Okay, let's be clear... I know there's some media that implies and actually goes through actions of incest, including fics. The fact that it's basically a fic is one thing entirely. That doesn't bug me.
However, the fact that Sapphra had to murder Amy because she actually had a mild like of Sonic doesn't sit well in my book... at all. Seriously, how do you make Amy Rose look normal? (Well, not counting the En Masse version of Amy, of course.)
Also, authors? Seriously, stop saying that you'll "take us down" if we criticize any aspect of your fic. Writing it and keeping it to yourself is one thing, but when you put it up on a public site for everyone to see, somewhere along the line, someone may end up MSTing it. It's a fact.
M27/D02 - Spaghetti
Yes, this fic wasn't terrible, but I did have a tiny gripe about it. Yes, I know that it's a oneshot, but I would've liked to see a bit more development between Kyo and Leona. Besides, did Leona actually enjoy the date or anything? It kind of stinks that that was the whole fic, but whatever.
M28/B11 - Building A Man
Overall, all of this stuff sucked. All of it. It's like a bunch of bitter harpies decided to get together and write this stuff while complaining that there aren't any good men around... while they were dating/married to a good man.
This includes that third article, those "Ten Things I Don't Want to Hear My Husband Say". (See that, Mrs. Smokler? You may want to join Piper Weiss in capitalizing your article titles.) I can't believe that some women actually found that stupid list hilarious and told those who didn't like it to "get a sense of humor".
Honestly, as a female myself, I didn't see any humor in it. There's nothing funny about bitching at everything and being a hypocrite who has a giant stick in the ass.
You married him. Don't start whining to us because he's not your perfect android.
M29/A11 - Kii and the Mirror of Chaos
She did so little, and yet... she irritated me. Damn Black Hole Sues.
Anyway, about this fic... a flying hedgehog. Seriously, that should've been an indicator to tell how much this fic stunk. That, and a random gay (and horrendously stupid) Sonic. Also, I find it very hypocritical that the author pulled a "Grrrl Powah!" about hating the color pink when her Sue looked like technicolor vomit. Seriously, a purple hedgehog with green bangs, white wings that had green tips on the end of said wings, and random dots on her face? What?
Look, I'm not saying that my Sonic OCs were the best, either (out of 27 random ones, they were all either hedgehogs, foxes, or echidnas! That's why I changed Mai and Axl from blue hedgehogs to brown squirrels and chopped the characters that I don't use anymore), but... come on. I didn't give them wings from Red Bull cans.
M30/S04 - Kusanagi's Wrath
As I stated earlier in the author's note for this riffing, I've admitted that it was my second worst fanfiction. And yes, it showed, especially when Benimaru declared that the fic was on life support in the first sentence, and that Cassy said that the fic flatlined... in the very next chapter. If you honestly have two of the most relaxed riffers say anything like that without any sort of witty sugarcoating, there's a big problem.
(And this is a little off topic, but the other "relaxed" riffers are Manic, Axl, and Rory. So, yes, if anything like that comes out of any of their mouths, there's an issue.)
But here's my crappy (albeit true) excuse; while I was working on this fic, I had a pretty bad case of writer's block. Of course, my remedy for that little problem was to write out whatever came to mind. Unfortunately, I ignored the magical process of editing because I wanted to get something out so badly.
And thanks to my rushing, that's how this infamous jumble of words came into existence. Yeah, it's no wonder I had the Black Crow tackle this thing with the Neo Esaka members. At least I did put an "OOC" warning when I used to post at the (now crappy) Freedom of Speech Fanfiction... yeah, like that eased the crappiness.
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