Mystery Science Theater En Masse
Behind The Scenes: Season Six
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M55/D04 - Purely Stupid
Oh, dear, oh, dear. I've always hated the mindset of "Do as I say, not as I do". Unfortunately, Alexandra Adornetto is a real user of that card, and it showed in her books. Have her Mary Sue self-insert shame other girls for wearing makeup? Well, the author's also wearing makeup! Shame other girls for having blonde hair? Well, the author once dyed her hair blonde! She's a magical exception!
...but I should be talking about these articles, right? Right.
Long story short, she's on her soapbox and shaming you for not fitting into her perfect little world in these two articles. Never mind that there's over seven billion people on this damn planet and we all can't be easily sorted!
And yes, she does use the "Do as I say, not as I do" card in these articles as well. Not to mention the constant flip-flopping that she did in the second article. It's nowhere near a failure, but it's still bad enough to be here.
M56/B13 - Sabrina's Adventure 2: Return of Sabrina
Ugh. This fic? Awful.
I have no other way to put it. This fic was just awful. I swear, the only time this fic was even remotely hilarious to riff was during Sabre's appearances. Too bad that Sabre's hamminess couldn't save this fic. The useless and pointless "love triangle", "twu luv" stuff, Mary Sue shilling, and constant padding (especially in Chapters 8 and 11) wrecked it to bits.
I was actually mentally tired by the time I finished riffing this fic. It was that terrible. I'm just happy that I'm done with this thing, and I really, really want to forget about it.
And then there's a third fic, which is 23 chapters long, and three times the length of this in word count.
I'm not happy about riffing that fic, either. If push comes to shove, I may end up making the riffing for the sequel a "Super Special" of sorts.
M57/C04 - KOF-XXX
I'm going to be incredibly honest... yes, this fic was terrible. Yes, this fic was disgusting. And yes, this Stu was disgusting, thanks to his actions and incredibly rude responses. If you personally found this fic to be incredibly gross, that's certainly understandable. However... I actually chuckled at the sex scenes a bit (and the editor found them absolutely hilarious, but still pointed out the problems as we went along).
To be fair, it wouldn't be kind if I slammed this fic entirely (which is why the riffers are there). Sex scenes were usually not perfect to work on or write for the two of us when we were younger, either.
On the other hand, those scenes weren't full of blood, and blood's not supposed to gush out like that during coitus, so... yeah... here's hoping that the Stuthor did learn some biology (and how to look at women as people and not things or "targets") after that.
M58/E01 - Catwoman: Rebirth
Hmm. Now, I'll admit that I thought that this fic wouldn't take so long to riff. Silly me thought that those eighteen chapters would be short. There I go, underestimating a fic again.
But about the fic itself? Now, I'm not against the idea of a new Catwoman for this series. It's a pretty decent "what-if" to explore, even though this Batman's Rogues Gallery was mostly "futuristic" in nature.
I am, however, against the subtle character bashing and the "look at how sexy Isis is!" stuff.
Granted, I actually didn't like Dana in the original series, mainly due to how she was poorly written. But when you write so many things in said fic that actually cause me to feel sorry for her, then there's a problem. That happened when I worked on "The White Hedgehog" and "My Real Love" when it came to Sally, so it also applied here when it came to Dana.
M59/A13 - Coming Home
Oh, where do I begin with this one?
Well, for starters, it's clearly not the worst Mary Sue fic that I've read. However, the things that stuck out for me were the poorly developed Colleen and Julie (especially Julie). It was rather sad that the latter was used as a plot device just so her wangsty Sue sister could get her man in the end.
Not only that, but any tense scenes in this fic were immediately hacked the moment we got into them. This fic had no plot, pointless drama, and heaps of sugar.
And yet, this darn thing was refreshing to riff. It felt like the sugary version of "Defying Destiny".
M60/E02 - The Tekken Relations
Speaking of pointless drama and no plot... this fic had it as well. I guess I'm a bit grateful that that was the only chapter that I had to riff. I'm starting to think that if it went on any longer, the riffers would've lost it. Well, everyone except for Akiko, of course. She's got quite a bit of tolerance.
No, it's also not the worst thing that I've read, but I cannot lie that I was shaking my head after dealing with this. It was so ridiculous that the editor actually thought that this was a troll fic. I'm serious.
M61/D05 - How a Spark Becomes a Flame
It's been a while since I've riffed on a fic that wasn't awful. While this was nice, the main gripes that I had were with the scenes that had three people in it. It could get a tad confusing telling who was who if the reader wasn't familiar with his/her speech patterns. Also, since the main story had italics, it looked a bit jarring. That's why it's modified in this riffing.
But on the other hand, only three people were mainly speaking through the whole darn fic to begin with. Plus, being in Yuki's point of view made it mostly easy to follow.
Finally, there's a fic that has someone in the first person who I didn't want to strangle. I was tired of reading fics that had Mary Sues in the first person.
Long story short? Yes, I liked this fic. I'm glad that I stumbled upon it.
M62/A14 - The Walking Flame
Well, it seems that this fic had a few revisions. From what I know, the fic was originally called "The Crimson Eyed Girl" before that was taken down. It was then replaced with this fic that used to have the title of "Scarlett Clock Swan, The Walking Flame" before the name in the title got cut.
Also, how the Sue of the day ended up making Carlisle fall in love with her at first sight was different, according to the Twilight Sue of the Day on LiveJournal. Turns out that in "The Crimson Eyed Girl", she used her wonderful Sue singing voice, which caused him to fall in love with her. I would rather have that instead of that "Oh, she kissed a woman and that gave me a vampire boner!" crap.
And about this fic itself? Meh. The only worst thing about this fic was the constant hammering of Scarlett's "hotness". All it did was cause me to roll my eyes.
But is it the worst fic that I've read? Far from it, actually. While she is a rather annoying Sue, she's still not the worst one for this series.
M63/C05 - Lust for bust
Ugh. Comparing this fic to "KOF-XXX"... well, at least this fic did something right, and that was omitting the blood. I'll also give points for using some of the outfits that were actually in the Dead or Alive series (even though they were the skimpy outfits... but then again, this is Dead or Alive that we're talking about).
What it got wrong? Everything. Just like "KOF-XXX". Inhumanly sized members plus slut shaming and double standards? A horrible combination.
Mix that in with the awful formatting and you get a fic that needed to be riffed to high heaven. Yeah, it needed a riffing.
M64/B14 - Sonic vs Silkadom (With shorts: Shomo Attack and Slash)
This episode was originally going to contain "Shomo Attack" and "Sonic vs Silkadom", but after the riffs were added, the episode was still too short for my tastes. So I ended up adding "Slash" to the roster, filling it out.
And now to my ramblings... heh... hehe... sorry.
Okay, how can I sum up my thoughts on this little collection without laughing my head off? Well, all three stories had no pacing, which obviously made them a giant mess.
Sure, they may have been giant messes, but they were the most hilarious messes that I've ever read. Even the editor had a field day with these.
M65/S06 - Outcast Saga Lost in Sailor Moon World
(No contest. Benji's the biggest Stu for this season.)
Fuck this fic.
No, seriously. Fuck this Stu, fuck the blatant character bashing, fuck the misogyny, fuck the homophobia, fuck this fic.
Fuck this shitty sexist ass cock-jerking fanfic that tried way too hard to be edgy in a magical girl series.
And most of all? Fuck you, Stuthor. No, seriously. Normally, I would say, "No offense to the author, but I hated this fic." But no, it won't work here. This Stuthor is way too hardheaded to accept criticism, that he whined about it in his profile. That's why it had to be riffed. Seriously, this is the very first time where the editor and I hated a story and the person who crapped it out.
I haven't read a fic so nauseating since that other Sailor Moon fic "I'm Here to Help". Fuck that shitty fic and the smug prick who wrote that, too. (No, I will not riff that piece of trash. It was already handled by three members of Das Sporking, and they did it a lot better than I could ever do.)
Okay, now that I got my rage out, let me try to be rational.
Alright. I grew up with Sailor Moon. It's one of my childhood series. I have nothing against a male OC working as an ally to the Senshi. None at all. But this? No, this was a fic about a Gary Stu who was so much better than those silly women of the Silver Millenium! And of course he's so much better than that "dumb, idiotic Usagi"! It was even shown when Sailor Moon killed a demon and the Stu made a giant fuss about it. Of course it has to be all about him. It got even worse when she literally asked if he was okay in a later scene, and she's the bad person for asking!
It got even worse when this fic blatantly said that this "man" was so much better than the women in the eighth chapter.
And it got even worse when the Stuthor tried and failed to give a lesson on homophobia... while breaking up Haruka and Michiru so the latter could fawn over his self-insert.
Seriously, of all the fics that I hated in the past up to this point? None of them compare to this heaping pile of shit.
It mentally drained me harder than the Sabrina's Adventure sequel. At least that fic had Sabre's hamminess, which was something to laugh at.
But this? There's nothing to laugh at. Fuck this fic.
Fuck. This. Fic.
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