Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Special Episode 6: Outcast Saga Lost in Sailor Moon World (Part Ten)

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Warning: This part contains misogyny, homophobia and more mentions of rape that the riffers will point out.

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"Text" Talked sentences.

'Text' Thoughts.

-Text- Sounds effects.

(Text) Talked sentences in a foreign language as English when everyone else speaks Japanese.

: Text: Messages show in an electronic screen or written.

Text: something being recalled, flashbacks, scenes being replayed.

Text: a detail found in a location, scene, person, recording and images that originally wasn't there.

"Text" Alteration in the voice, not in the tone but the voice itself.

Manic: *groans* Flashbacks?!
Rory: Agh, this fic really does want to torment us until the end!

Chapter nine: Worried women

Axl: Oh, when you count all of the unfortunate implications that this fic has, even the title of this chapter causes us to raise our eyebrows.

Tokyo March twentieth 2005

A little over one month passed since Kaosu's last appearance, not that the media knew about it.

Kyo K.: Didn't this dummy make a big deal about not showing himself to the media?
Sonia: Yes.
Kyo K.: Jeez, this dumbass really has to whine about everything, huh?
Sonia: *sighs* Yes.

The school incident was rather suppressed thanks to the odd battlefield that was generated, not even one of the students recalled the incident or even got hurt and since then the Envoys of Destruction have been quiet, most likely recovering from the loss of one of their high ranked members and preparing to a new series of attacks.

Miyu: That... doesn't make any sense. They'd actually keep attacking. I mean, think about this; in the anime, the Spectre Sisters were purified, and Rubeus blew up along with his UFO. What happened after that? Esmeraude decided to do the work! Or how about this; Jadeite is sent into "Eternal Sleep". Nephrite immediately gets to work right after that.
Kyo L.: The villians are so crappy here, they'd even stop doing things just so they can let the Stu wangst. Holy crap.

For most of the senshis their routine changed just a little since the incident, Michiru, Hotaru and Yaten are constantly visiting Benji on Aki's condo, Ami is working with Yaten and using the information that Aki gave to them they are trying to remove most of Benji's micro scars.

Benimaru: But let's ignore the twenty-two pounds of tissue and bone that he lost. Let's also ignore the poison that's still circulating! *waves his hands around* I guess his mysterious scars are more important!

Haruka is suffering since Michiru still is avoiding making love with her; the blonde senshi is jealous of Benji and angry at him because she knows that somehow he is the cause of her current condition.

Manic: Can't go another day without making one more bash on Haruka, right, Stuthor?
Sonia: I'm literally convinced that Haruka's a surrogate for those who actually have working brain cells.
Manic: Did you just call the Stuthor dumb, sis?
Sonia: No. But I will now.

Benji also adapted to his new routine, house and housemates; Michiru's and Hotaru's visits help him with needed changes to go out with out having to give a long explanation to Aki.

Axl: Apparently, "I went outside" is way too traumatizing for her to hear.

Currently Benji, Hotaru and Michiru are inside a café, Benji is using a pair of slim black glasses that cover his entire eyes preventing people from looking at his shut eyelid; even with a glass eye Benji refused to uncover his eyes. The scar over his left eye attracts attention to his left eye and with close scrutiny the fake eye could be noticed.

Rory: *attempts to play a tiny violin, drops it* Oh, man!
Kyo K.: Tech? Stick to whatever it is you do best. Because tiny violins aren't your thing... just like how writing isn't this guy's thing.

Hotaru and Michiru doesn't mind the glasses or the scar, instead of being a ugly scar that marred his face the scar gave a appearance of danger and toughness, a fact that often attracted thugs and other kind grunts seeking for fame for beating someone as tall and strong looking as Benji.

Sonia: *frowns* Why is this a thing?
Benimaru: *facepalms* Are you kidding me? Oh, oh, of course the scar isn't ugly, it has to show off how big and strong he is!
Kyo L.: I think we need to give the little boy his veggies and milk so he can grow up some more, huh?
Rory: I'm not going to make the airplane noises when we have to feed him. It's because my dad works on planes, and I'll end up making the realistic noises.
Everyone else: *stares at Rory*
Rory: What? It's a thing!
Axl: Rory? *chuckles* You're something else sometimes.

Hotaru is talking about a recent report that she has to deliver to her class. "I don't know what is worse making the report or making a report about the sailor senshis." She said in a light tone.

Miyu: Let me guess, she'll write about the Stu, because the spotlight needs to be on him.

"At least you know that you can get very accurate material for your report." Benji commented casually. "Just be careful to not reveal anything too unique that might connect you to the senshis."

Sonia: *irritated* She already knows that, you jackhole.
Miyu: Wow, he sure loves to act like a know-it all, huh?
Sonia: Even though he knows nothing.

"I know that already, that is why I am not excited about it." Hotaru replied.

Kyo L.: See? May wanna stop holding their hands so much, Stu.

"It will be rather interesting. You will be mentioning Tuxedo Mask or Kaosu on it?" Michiru asked. "Just a little." Hotaru answered. "Unlike the senshis Kaosu and Tuxedo Mask aren't as active."

Manic: Well, now the former's finally inactive. And, um... Tuxedo Mask hasn't done anything in this fic, has he?
Axl: Nope.
Manic: That wasn't a surprise.

"Unlike Tuxedo Mask Kaosu was very active for a very short time." Benji commented.

Axl: *gets up, slams his hands on the table* Oh, bite my furry tail! You punted Tuxedo Mask out like he was a damn football and only had him in for like... two lines. And he only spoke when he was Mamoru!
Miyu: I was waiting for the Mamoru bashing. It took us ten whole chapters to get there. *pushes glasses up* Also, does that mean that Mamoru's not a "real man" in your biased eyes, Stuthor? Or is your masculinity so fragile that you had to push him aside so you can make a pitiful attempt to make your horrid self-insert look better in comparison? Either way... you're showing your behind.
Kyo K.: And I thought that Mary Sues were bad.
Benimaru: You know, when you put that in with the incident involving Seiya's hand... yeah, this Stuthor probably has some real problems.

"And it was rather active to the battles during his active period." "We know that." Michiru commented with a smile. "And we are sure that the senshis appreciate it too."

Kyo L.: We don't.
Miyu: His hand holding is so annoying that even the Senshi are getting tired of it.

"But it is hard to write about Kaosu, there isn't much information available on the media." Hotaru commented stirring her iced coffee. "Not that there is much about the senshis or Tuxedo Mask either."

Sonia: That's how it's supposed to be, you ninnies. Seriously, you're supposed to do these things without the media knowing about your true identies, and yet you're complaining about the media not giving you any attention? *rubs her forehead* The idiocy is astounding.

Michiru nods agreeing, everyone worked rather hard to prevent excessive media exposure, very few times they were recorded by cameras, it was more common some blurred pictures and few better pictures. "And Kaosu has the advantage of having a mask and not even an inch of skin exposed." Michiru commented casually.

Rory: So... he walks around like some ninja Michelin Man, and he's praised for it?
Kyo K.: You forgot? It's so he couldn't give the women any fanservice. They're supposed to be "good little chaste girls", remember?
Rory: That doesn't make sense when Michiru kept doing that gross stuff to the Stu in his sleep.
Kyo K.: And there you go, using that logic again.

"Changing the subject a little." Hotaru said before they end speaking too much about the senshis and their allies and expose something that they shouldn't. "When you will be riding again?" Hotaru asked to Benji.

Manic: Never. Next!

"I am not really sure if I can ride any of my bikes in my current situation. " Benji answered in a serious tone. "It could be very dangerous, but at least I can enjoy seeing them, after all they are the two bikes of my dreams. Seeing something beautiful never gets old."

"True." Michiru commented casually. "Not to mention that the BMW is very comfortable." Inwardly she hoped that he was looking at her since his face was turned on her direction when he said the last sentence. "I really wanted to ride on it with you again."

Axl: Well, you already rode him multiple times in his sleep! Yeah, we're not letting that one go, you twit!

"In an open and clear area with out traffic I could ride." Benji commented. "If I don't go too fast I think a joy ride would be possible." "I know that we can wrap something up." Michiru said with a smile. "We can arrange in a day in the racing track or an empty parking lot."

"For sure have been a while since I last rode my BMW." Benji commented in a wistful tone. "Since that incident in your school." "You don't have to bring that up." Hotaru said in a gentle tone.

Miyu: Yes, let's reminisce over how wonderful the Stu's bikes are.
Sonia: I don't want to.
Miyu: Too bad, the Stuthor says that you have to.

"I don't have regrets." Benji said to the younger brunette.

Benimaru: I regret reading this drivel.

"I did what I had to do to save you two and everyone else.

Kyo L.: *clears his throat, reads* "And nearly all the times the hero is a man, that is the reason that the sailor senshis failed to defeat the creatures in the school." *burns the paper* You didn't "do what you had to do". All of this shit was handed to you on a silver platter because you have a dick, you lying cockhead.

What happened; happened nothing can change that." Hotaru stays in silence unable to reply. "Aki is still keeping you in a short leash?" Michiru asked changing the subject again.

Kyo K.: Because how dare she be concerned for that dummy with a pea brain!

"Yeah, she is slowly giving me space but she is still worrying too much." Benji answered. "I know that she worries and only want the best but I trained for too long to stop because of this. I guess that she is focusing on me what she can't focus on Ami."

Axl: She never focused on Ami ever since you got here, you lying assbucket.

Michiru nods agreeing, it was common knowledge that Aki worried about Ami and she couldn't stop Ami from being a senshi, even wanting Aki knew that it was Ami's destiny and she couldn't fight it, but in Benji's case Aki knows that he is different than everyone else and tries very hard to prevent him from continue fighting.

Manic: *sighs* We know this already. Is this fic a broken record?
Rory: You know, fic... I may be a ditz, but don't treat me like I'm some sort of idiot. That actually irks the heck out of me. I know how to read.

Hotaru stays in silence not sure of what to say, and notices that Michiru is speaking with him with ease, it wasn't a full surprise since they always got along well but know that she knows that Michiru also likes Benji it troubles Hotaru for not being able to chat in fear of saying something that would bring up Benji's wounds.

Sonia: Oh, then leave that to us. We'll be sure to wreck him like he wrecked us.

"Benji if I ask you, you would make some cherry combo bonbons for me?" Michiru asked in a casual tone. "I wouldn't mind but don't you think that you shouldn't eat so many chocolates, you might gain some weight." Benji teased.

Axl: Uh... wow.
Sonia: *punches the Stu* Fuck you!
Kyo L.: *laughs and claps* Yes! Thank you, Sonia!
Axl: Uh... wow! You did say that you wanted to smack the stupid out of him earlier!
Rory: *eyes widening* She really wasn't lying when she said that she'd wreck him!
Manic: *unfazed* It's Sonia. Come on, this was bound to happen eventually.
Kyo K.: *stretches* Yep.
Benimaru: Um. That's... not teasing, Stuthor. That's just insulting.
Miyu: It wasn't funny when the original anime did things like that, either.

"You don't have to worry about my body." Michiru replied lightly running her hands on her sides to emphasize her words. "I do exercise regularly, especially after you make candies. And if you make me the bonbons I will make you something especial."

Kyo L.: Because that's what all "good women" should do. Stay in shape for their Stu master. Do you really want Sonia to clock you again? I mean, I know that I really want her to do that, but do you really want her fist hitting your face again?

Hotaru blushes at the not so subtle flirting of her mother, Hotaru can actually see that Benji is considering the offer, Michiru's specials are for sure special and Benji did received few of them on his stay with the outers.

Rory: In the form of rape, of course.

"How many are those some and when you want them?" Benji asked deciding to take the offer, why refuse one of Michiru's specials?

Kyo K.: And this fic is a special kind of stupid, so why not?

"I was thinking around one hundred and any day in the next…" Michiru looks at her watch before finishing. "Saturday." "Party?" Benji asked casually. "Something like that." Michiru answered. "My mother wants to visit so I decided to offer something unique and tasty."

Axl: "Unique and tasty" is probably how she described the Stu's penis.
Miyu: Axl!
Axl: Okay, okay, sorry!
Miyu: Anyway, now we're introducing Michiru's mother? Why?
Axl: Probably so this fic can introduce another woman who will fawn over the Stu.
Miyu: This late?
Axl: Can't have enough women fawning over this moron, Miyu.

"Your mother…" Benji said tapping his chin. "I think that I should break my cookbook and make more than just the bonbons. As a roommate of yours I think that I should give a good impression."

All: Too late!
Rory: Your first impression with us wasn't good. Neither was your second, third, fourth, fifth, or sixth, actually.

"What you are planning?" Michiru asked curiously, while it was true that her mother was going to visit Michiru actually wanted to eat most of the bonbons herself.

Benimaru: Because all women love chocolate.
Manic: Stuthor needs to lay off the bad sitcoms.

"Hold a second." Benji said pulling the palm top that he had when he arrived, while it wasn't his he was using to transfer all his files from his shared computer with his brother to another one.

Kyo L.: Ten chapters, and we're finally seeing another thing that he pulled out of his ass.

For the senshis is the first time that they see Benji using the item,

Kyo K.: Yeah, it's also the first time that we're seeing you use it, you nitwit.

Benji is searching on the files and looking for a specific folder with his recipes and more that he gathered on the net or scanned from magazines or cookbooks.

"Lime mousse tart, passion fruit bonbons, and something that can be translated as chicken thighs." Benji said after a quick scan. "The chicken thighs are actually made of dough filled chicken breast seasoned, corn and cream cheese. It is a very common Brazilian appetizer found nearly in every dinners, bars and other food serving places, of course if you don't count places with food of other countries or too fancy."

Axl: *with a megaphone* Nobody cares!

"Sounds rather tasty." Michiru commented interested, the final product might be much better than her request. "Can we try before I give a final answer?" "If you shop with me and aid fixing, then yes." Benji replied casually.

Manic: *as the Stu* Besides, that's why women were put on this planet.
Sonia: He really needs to stop saying that a person replied "casually". It's driving me up a wall.
Kyo L.: Well, before you drive yourself up a wall, can you drive your fist into his face again?
Sonia: No, Kyo. At least not yet.

"You got yourself a deal, let's do it now." Michiru said signaling for the waitress to close the tab.

Hotaru is rather surprised with everything, she never expected to Michiru ask Benji to cook the food for the visit, usually Michiru is the one to do it because her very high standards.

Miyu: But it's okay, because the Stu's better than everyone at everything!

In less than twenty minutes the trio is on Michiru's favorite market purchasing the ingredients for everything, Hotaru feel out of place while Benji and Michiru chat lightly about what they will prepare; Hotaru isn't a bad cook, she is quite on the average level but is too unsure of herself to fix more daring things as bonbons or sweets.

Rory: Hotaru, you really need to visit my grandparents. They run a chocolate shop. And they'll give you a lesson on making bonbons without being giant jerks.

Before the school incident, in the very same day…………………………………………………

Manic: Wait... we're getting a flashback?!
All: *groans*
Kyo K.: I don't wanna deal with this.

All the senshis are in the Hikawa-jinja, it is Valentine's Day and the senshis are finishing their chocolates together. While most of them don't have a boyfriend to give their honmei choco they do have male friends to give their giri choco. Michiru and Makoto are teaching and aiding the other senshis, especially the inners to make their chocolates.

Benimaru: This is probably the only thing that makes sense here.
Axl: How long until the Stuthor ruins that?
Benimaru: I'd say about three or four sentences.

"I must say that I am impressed that you can make chocolates this well." Makoto said to Michiru. "I learned more from Benji, he made a small course about it and used to make bonbons and other chocolates, he taught me a lot about making chocolates and related sweets." Michiru replied chuckling. "As you know he did most of the work in the sweets in Ami's birthday."

"I remember that." Makoto commented casually. "Maybe I should take some classes from him too." "I want too!" Minako exclaimed, it was an excuse to see Benji; as Makoto Minako still wanted to date Benji.

Sonia: *rolls her eyes* And I think I saw my brain.
Kyo K.: Then that means that you have more brain cells than this guy.
Benimaru: And it's ruined in about four sentences, not counting the dialogue. Just as I thought.
Miyu: *annoyed* Of course he's a better cook than Makoto. And of course Minako is still pining for that idiot who keeps blowing her out.
Rory: *sighs as he mops a wank puddle up* Did we run out of Stu splooge to make a giant puddle?
Kyo L.: *points to the giant umbrella* It's probably sentient and gave up when it noticed the big ass umbrella.

Hotaru is working hard on making her chocolate to give to Benji; she has a chocolate stain on her left cheek and is using a pastry bag to decorate the chocolate, actually her fourth try. Michiru helps Hotaru a little knowing that she wants to make it by herself; Michiru just offers hints, tips and advices.

Miyu: That makes sense, too. Of course, the Stuthor will ruin that.

Everything was calm and peaceful until Luna and Artemis run to the kitchen yelling about an attack on Hotaru's school; the senshis drop their cooking tools and run away. Hotaru spare a glance on her nearly finished success before running with the others hoping that she can finish that chocolate so she can present Benji with it.

Miyu: And we already know what happened after that, because we read the eighth chapter.
Manic: I didn't.
Axl: Consider yourself lucky.

In Michiru's kitchen……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

After finishing the preparation of the ingredients that needed to be boiled, cooked or prepared Benji, Michiru and Hotaru are looking at the separated ingredients for their new cooking experiment.

Rory: *confused* Are we in the present now?
Sonia: I think so.
Rory: Oh. This writing's losing me.
Sonia: It lost all of us a long time ago.

Hotaru happily watches Benji and Michiru working on the recipes; it reminded her of the not so distant days before the attack on her school.

Kyo K.: They are not going to let that school incident go, huh?
Axl: Well, that incident is the one that caused the giant wangst fest, so nope.

While Benji mixes the ingredients for each recipe Michiru carefully take notes, learning every detail of making those dishes; Hotaru knows that she can't overcome her mother in the kitchen and cooking, for the time being she settles in watching Benji work.

Kyo L.: Of course, because that's where Michiru's stuck. In the kitchen. *sarcastically* Like a good woman.
Manic: Man, every chapter gives you that wonderful smell of misogyny!
Sonia: It's not like Miyu, in which she chooses to cook because she enjoys cooking. No, this thing just says that that's what women should do. And that's what disgusts me.

After two hours preparing everything the trio is having the much waited taste test. Hotaru and Michiru smile widely at the set table and the offered food. "I don't even know with what I should start." Michiru said looking at the treats. "Go for the coxinhas." Benji commented taking one of the drop shaped pear sized fried appetizer. "If you decided in having these when you mother visits you I will make them in bite size."

"Thank you." Michiru replied with a smile taking one of the coxinhas with her hands as Benji did, he explained that the coxinhas are like donuts and hotdogs in Brazil, it is a cheap and fast food. "Delicious." Michiru said covering her mouth with her left hand. "Warm like this and so fresh, this is absolutely delicious."

Benimaru: I think that's what he used to brainwash her.

"Why you never did this before?" Hotaru asked after eating a bite of her own appetizer. "This is so good." "I never did this before because is a bit troublesome to prepare, at least I thought that would be if I did all the work." Benji answered with a small smile. "But I had help of two beautiful assistants."

Sonia: He's trying to be flattering. It failed.
Benimaru: He could use a few lessons in charming the ladies from yours truly, but I'm not going to waste my time.
Kyo K.: Besides, we're already wasting enough time reading this crap.

Michiru and Hotaru blush at his words and mumble a thank you. "I will be freezing the ones that we didn't deep fried and store for special occasions or when we feel like eating." Michiru said sipping some lime juice. "We make a new batch for my mother's visit."

Axl: Can I freeze him? I really want to freeze him like he's a wooly mammoth.
Miyu: If you freeze him and then throw him into boiling oil...
Kyo L.: *laughs maniacally as he begins filling a giant pot with oil*
Miyu: Kyo!
Kyo L.: Don't lie, Miyu! You want this to happen, too!

Hotaru nods agreeing. "Now let's try this bonbon." The raven haired girl said picking one of the passion fruit cream bonbons that Benji prepared. "Good idea." Michiru commented taking one too. "I really want to try it." Michiru takes a bite on the bonbon and slowly savors the flavors; she demurely swallows and wipes her lips with a napkin.

Benji looks a Michiru a little worried, she is serious and that can't be good for him. "You have been holding out on me." Michiru said in a serious tone looking at Benji's covered eyes. "I want a translated copy of your entire cookbook." "WHAT?!" Benji exclaimed in shock, his cookbook was in English and Portuguese, two languages that he understand and know, he never bothered in translating the entire thing to Portuguese; other than few needed changes in measures and quantities in the recipes in English.

Rory: I think he meant that he never bothered to translate the book to Japanese. But hey, whatever. I'm not going to pick that apart.
Manic: Coming from the guy who also learned Japanese in the story. Consistency, thy name is not Benji.

"I want a copy of your cookbook." Michiru replied with a smile. "I don't care how big it is, I want it."

Rory: She doesn't care how big it is, so she wants it. And that's how she described the Stu's penis.
Manic: *plays a rimshot*
Kyo K.: *laughs* Damn it, Tech!

"It will take too long. There are too many recipes and I really don't want to translate them." Benji complained. "But I really want it. Until today everything that you cooked was delicious and in a certain way exotic." Michiru said in a firm tone.

Rory: Delicious and exotic. Also like his penis.
Manic: *plays another rimshot*
Sonia: He's really setting himself up for those kinds of jokes, isn't he?
Rory: Yep!

"I am very sure that I will love all the other recipes on your book." Making a small pause Michiru smiles and added in a gentle tone "So I want to read them and make some of them myself, it will be a nice surprise for you too."

Benji can't find a way to deny Michiru, her reasoning was good and he really likes her, the sex dreams with her that haunt his dreams and memories make even harder to him to just say no.

Benimaru: *facepalms* This moron still thinks that they were dreams.
Kyo L.: Remember, ladies! If you rape a man, he can never say no to you!
Axl: Seriously, don't try it. That's stupid and you'll get arrested. The same applies to you guys out there.

"If I give you a copy of the folder you find someone else to translate it?" Benji asked in a mock defeated tone. "Like a professional translator or something like that."

"Sounds perfectly fine to me." Michiru replied with a bright smile. "But I want some pointers of the recipes that you already tried and your favorite ones too." Benji sighs and nods agreeing, he isn't all that displeased in sharing his cookbook with Michiru. Hotaru stays in silence, feeling jealous of her mother's ease to talk and subtly flirt with Benji; even wanting Hotaru can't make herself act like that.

Miyu: Once again, Michiru occasionally flirts with men. She still remained faithful to Haruka.
Kyo K.: Still not surprised that the Stuthor took that first part and ran for two whole marathons with it.

After finishing the sampling of the menu for Michiru's mother visit Benji leaves the outers' house, it was getting late and Aki had warned him about having a nice dinner with him and Ami scheduled for that night; not wanting to be late for that Benji excused himself from the sampling, actually Michiru and Hotaru eating the remaining food.

Rory: *as he eats a bonbon* Because women eat all of the desserts and watch chick flicks, am I right? Hee! *sighs* This fic, I swear. End it.

Walking casually Benji feels that he is being followed, the time away from battle haven't dulled the sharp senses that he worked too hard with Setsuna to develop.

Axl: Of course, because Gary Stus can never work their way back up. That's for losers.

Turning in a corner Benji takes a deep breath and gives a burst of speed, he enters in an alley and jumps on a dark fire stairs away from the entrance; Benji knows that he will feel that later because of his recent condition but at the moment it wasn't important.

Sonia: Big moron on campus right there. So you're going to force yourself to take more recovery time because you wanted to do your "badass Stu stuff".

He pulls a jet black Beretta 93R from under his jacket and quickly screw a suppressor on the threaded barrel, finishing Benji turns on the laser aim and points at the pistol to the entrance of the alley. He knows that the laser that he is using can't be seen on the air, just the small sapphire blue dot on the target.

Manic: Uh... we know how lasers work, you goofball.

He is mildly surprised in seeing Haruka running to the entrance of the alley and looking around frantically, Benji is perfectly concealed on the shadows using all his training to erase his presence and in a way 'bend' the shadows around him making him invisible.

Benimaru: Oh, joy. We needed even more Haruka bashing along with his "badass Stu stuff".
Kyo L.: Stuthor. You don't like Haruka. Just admit it. You're lusting after Michiru and wanted her to get into your pants in some way, so you're taking it out on a fictional character by writing crappy Stufics like these.
Kyo K.: I guess it's one of those "worn out pairings" that he hates so much.
Kyo L.: Yeah, which is probably why we called bullshit on that so-called homophobia lesson that he tried and failed to give in the last chapter.

Benji sees the sapphire colored dot on Haruka's forehead and keep the pistol leveled at her head, he is aware that he isn't Haruka's favorite person after everything that happened.

Miyu: So let's shoot her because she doesn't like you for logical reasons. Stuthor? You've already hit the sexism line many times. Do you really want to add more homophobia to that?

Haruka curses loudly and spits on the dirty alley, she had lost the sight of Benji; she was following him since she found that he was with Michiru and Hotaru on their house. Knowing that he isn't a real threat thanks to his weakened condition Haruka was decided to beat Benji a little and find out why Michiru isn't paying attention to her.

Manic: So let's turn her into the "Psycho Lesbian" trope. Yep. We're in Homophobia City now.
Miyu: *throws her hands up*
Axl: I think that the Stuthor watched "Gigli" way too many times. He really thinks that his penis can turn a lesbian straight!
Kyo K.: Ugh. I know that I really do want Haruka to pummel the Stu, but not while she's been hit by the OOC bus.

Haruka bites her thumbnail in frustration and walks away from the alley, Benji turns off the laser and removes the silencer from the gun replacing the protection for the threads on the barrel; Benji holsters the pistol and the silencer and stealthily moves out of the alley after making sure that Haruka isn't around, he isn't sure that he can outrun the wind senshi on his current state; before that incident he was slightly slower than Haruka but won on the stamina, in his current condition he is slower and lost much of his stamina.

Rory: Because he's a man, and men always have a lot more stamina than women, as you know. This has been your daily sexism lesson. Also, uh... what the hell, Stuthor? Do you really have to rub your junk all over everything like that?
Everyone else: Yes.
Miyu: Also, Haruka is considered to be the fastest Senshi. There's another "anything that the Senshi can do, he can do better" part.

Benji sighs in relief not seeing Haruka around and he starts walking away. "HEY YOU!!!" A familiar husky voice shouted in an angry tone. "FUCK!!" Benji shouted sprinting from there before Haruka could get close, if he forced himself he could get some bursts of high speed and get away from her.

Rory: Some ninja! I don't know any ninjas who swear out loud!
Axl: I don't know if my sister would laugh, cry, or try to decapitate him.
Rory: We're talking about Mai here. She read parts of this dumb fic, so I'd go with the third option.

Haruka chases Benji impressed with his speed on his condition, the chase only make her sure that he has something to hide, or at the very least not tell her. Benji is already tired and he barely started running away from Haruka, the chase had barely one minute since it started and Benji feels like his lungs are on fire so are his muscles.

Sonia: Yeah. So?
Manic: *points at Sonia* If that's the reaction to a suspense scene, you're doing it wrong, Stuthor.
Kyo K.: Also... he's injured beyond belief, and he's still running? Even I had to work my way up to recover when I got wrecked!
Benimaru: You're using logic, Kyo. Stop that.

Forcing himself Benji keeps some distance from Haruka leading the chase to a park; then he can try doing something before he faints.

Kyo L.: What, he's going to get some random power that'll bail him out because his Stuthor's a hack writer?

Later Haruka would deny that she enjoyed the chase; Benji entered on the park and ran on a path surrounded by trees, for Haruka that is perfect since it will give her privacy to beat him.

Miyu: On one hand, yes, we want to see her beat him. On the other hand... Haruka's not insanely jealous, Stuthor! Even more proof that you don't know what fandom you're writing for!

Benji spun on his heels and turned to Haruka surprising the blonde, she never saw Benji's strike coming; Benji charged at Haruka and smashed his open right hand on her forehead, the combined opposed momentums makes Haruka's body fly a little held by her head by Benji's right hand, the flight is short as he smashes her back on the ground finishing the move.

Benimaru: *facepalms*
Kyo L.: Fuck me sideways, I was right. *sets up a fire under the pot of oil* Oh, hey, Stu. When this starts boiling, get in. I want to try some deep fried you later.

Benji falls on his knees trying hard to breath; he coughs in pain as everywhere on his body screams in pain and for oxygen. Haruka is stunned with the attack, it didn't really hurt her, at least she doesn't feel wounded; but she is out of breath and the impact paralyzed her. Benji's vision blurs with the lack of oxygen, he is trying hard to fill his lungs with air to supply his deprived body, his arms weaken under the weight of his body making even harder to him support his body.

Axl: *indifferent* Uh-huh. Just get to vomiting.
Rory: I'm surprised that I haven't vomited.
Axl: Yet. You haven't vomited yet.

Haruka sees Benji's suffering and start to regret her actions, his lips are slightly blue and he is coughing a lot unable to breath, Benji manages to crawl away from Haruka and she hears the sound of something splashing on the ground, she looks and sees the semi liquid remains of his lunch and the previously eaten food.

Sonia: That's what happens when you read this fic.
Kyo L.: Aww, man! We were supposed to stuff him like the pig that he is before we got to frying! *as he extinguishes the flame* Well, dinner's ruined.
Kyo K.: *speaks in a low voice so only Benimaru can hear* Good. I didn't want to head down the cannibal route.
Benimaru: *also in a low voice* You're telling me. Being Hannibal Lecter just isn't my kind of style.

'He moved away to not soil me…' she thinks as Benji forces himself to sit over his legs.

Manic: *sarcastically* What a charming gentleman!
Sonia: I swear, if that's what causes her to rethink her actions, I'm going to be so livid.

Recovering from the impact Haruka sits up and moves to him. "Easy." She said holding Benji from behind and tightly holding his chest to prevent his frantic breathing. "Slowly…"

Forcing Benji to slow his breathing Haruka adjust his breathing using some of her powers to move the air in front of Benji to his lungs to aid his breathing and cool his body. 'God if is this bad just with a short run like this he really can't fight at all.' Haruka thinks while Benji recovers.

After a while they move to a shade under a tree. "That bad?" Haruka asked seriously, the shock of the experience killed her previous idea. "Yeah." Benji replied with his voice now hoarse. "That bad. I am lacking many muscles on my left side, breathing is painful in normal conditions, and I am often short of breath too."

Rory: *with a megaphone* And yet you rode a motorcycle, you dummy!

"And haven't told to any of us about this." Haruka commented in a reproving tone. "What good would do letting you all know about this?" Benji said in a serious tone. "I am sure that it would only make you guys feel even worse."

Kyo K.: Because those silly women don't need to know about his "edgy manpain".

Haruka remains in silence knowing that if the others learned about his suffering it would only make them suffer and feel depressed. "Why Michiru is ignoring me?" Haruka asked deciding to question him in something that for her is more pressing.

"How I would know that?" Benji replied. "I don't live with your girls have been a while and before that I didn't had a clue of why Michiru is giving you the cold shoulder."

Manic: You know why. You're a damn self-insert.

"You two are friends!" Haruka protested angrily. "And you two are lovers!" Benji shot back.

Axl: You say that you don't know why Michiru is ignoring her, but you expect Haruka to know why. Go shove your head up your ass and poof away, you prickstain.

Haruka bites her lower lip trying to come up with a reply. "Look I don't know why Michiru is acting as she is, ask her and not me." Benji said standing up. "Whatever reason she has is between the two of you.

Sonia: She's looking at the reason, you dimension warper.

Now if you excuse me I have to see Aki, is about time for her arrive today and she will be mad if I am not in the condo when she arrives. And Haruka I am quite sure that whatever reason Michiru has is important so think in what you might have done to her to make her act towards you as she is acting, for you might be something small but for Michiru is clearly important, you are a woman so you have better chances of understanding her than I will ever have."

Benimaru: *stunned* Are you serious?
Miyu: "You are a woman, so you have better chances of understanding her than I will ever have." *removes her glasses, calmly breaks them* I am done. I am done with this self-serving trash that filled itself to the brim with double standards. I never want to read anything else from this poor excuse for a writer ever again.
Sonia: Oh, no, he did not! *angrily kicks the table over, points at the screen* You spent this entire fic with your dick hanging out, talking about how women should never do anything aside from staying in the kitchen and being good little housewives who should fawn over you! And you want to be humble now?! Now?! You! Can! Go! Straight! To! Hell! *explodes in a shower of fireworks*
Everyone else: *brushes Sonia's ashes off of themselves*
Kyo K.: Holy crap. I have never seen her explode like that before.
Axl: *as he's brushing what's left of Sonia's ashes off of Miyu* No wonder she's scary when angry.
Rory: *as he sets the table upright and sweeps Sonia's ashes up* You're telling me.
Sonia: *reforms* This fic needs to end.
Kyo L.: Luckily, we're almost done.

Haruka stays in silence weighing his words, she feared that Benji was innocent

Kyo K.: *coughbullshitcough*

and didn't know why Michiru is ignoring her and that forced her to look at herself to blame, something that she didn't wanted to do. Haruka sees Benji walking away holding his left side, he stops few meters away from Haruka and looks back.

Axl: I swear, if you say something that sets any of us off, I'm going to shove a couch made of ice up your goddamn ass.

"It just occurred to me." Benji said in a level tone. "How many times you flirted with a girl around Michiru? And would you like of seeing Michiru flirting with other girls around you? Think about it"

Manic: *looks at Axl* Uh-oh.
Axl: Mother of...! *leaves, returns with an ice couch* Bend over and open that asshole, you hypocritical little piece of shit!
Miyu: Did he really create a couch?
Benimaru: Yes, he did, Miyu.
Miyu: *claps* Oh, wonderful! Go for it, Axl! I don't know how you managed to lift it without relying on Sonia's super strength, but go for it!

Haruka stares at Benji while he now walks away for good, his words struck a chord on her and she started to recall all the times that she had flirted with other girls with and without Michiru near her, and many times she was just moments away of doing more than flirting before something or someone interrupted her.

Kyo L.: And once again, the Stuthor's proving that he's definitely not a Sailor Moon fan. He really did use "Don't like, don't read!" as an excuse to cover up his shit writing, didn't he?
Rory: You combine that with him not wanting to improve and snapping at everyone who called him out and you have a real doozy.

'He might be right…' Haruka thought as she gazes at the direction where Benji left.

Kyo K.: And Haruka's warped. The only character with a brain finally lost it.
Axl: You misspelled "He is incredibly smug", Stuthor.

'Michiru warned me countless times about it, I guess that she finally grew tired of seeing me straying…I took her for granted and now she is far from me even being so close of me…'

Benimaru: Yes, remember that Haruka's flirting is worse than Michiru raping a man while he's sleeping.
Manic: This Stuthor's priorities are all sorts of messed up.

Back in Aki's condo Benji throws himself in a couch,

Sonia: Well, you're about to have a couch inside of you in a few minutes, so enjoy!

he doesn't bother in moving to his assigned room, he was on the verge of fainting of exhaustion with his body begging for him to rest and stop moving, even breathing takes too much effort; slowing his breathing using a technique taught by one of Aki's doctor friends expert in cases of lung problems Benji tries to fully oxygenate his body with the minimal breathing possible.

Axl: And then he stopped breathing. The Senshi found out and then promptly cheered.

A little under on hour later Aki enters on the condo and finds Benji lying on the couch, if was anyone else she would just smile and move to wake the person with a small playful scolding; but it was Benji and she knows very well his condition, her first thought is that he had a pulmonary collapse, and the second is that somehow the poison that caused his wounds killed him.

Benimaru: Wait, now you remember the poison?! After about three months?! What kind of doctor are you?!
Rory: It's that ClipArt diploma at work again!
Kyo L.: Is he dead? Can I call Jessie?
Kyo K.: What did she say to you, Fox Clone?
Kyo L.: No body, no party.
Kyo K.: Yeah... you're not getting a body or a party.

Aki rushes to his side and touches his neck with her middle and index finger and sighs with relief when finding his pulse strong and steady, moving her hand she holds it few centimeters away from his nose and feels the warm breath washing on her palm. 'Thank God…' Aki smiled once again sighing relieved.

Kyo K.: Told you.
Kyo L.: Damn it.
Manic: Man, this guy is never going to kill off his self-insert. That requires effort, which he never put into this dumb fic to start with.

"You should take easier on your perfume." Benji commented with his eyes closed. "It is quite strong on your hands."

Sonia: *punches the Stu* And you should go fuck yourself!
Kyo L.: *laughs* Yes! Thanks for the consolation prize, Sonia!
Miyu: Did Sonia punch the Stu again?
Rory: Yep.
Miyu: *claps* Oh, thank you, Sonia!
Axl: Well, to be fair, strong perfume can trigger someone's asthma or other breathing problems. But when you think about who's saying it, it falls extremely flat.

Aki smiled and sniffs her hand. "Well I reapplied it earlier and used some on my hands I hate the scent of the soap that I use before the surgeries." She replied playfully. "And why you are lying on the couch?"

Axl: What, he can't lie on the couch?
Rory: This question is coming from the squirrel who still wants to shove a couch up the guy's butt.
Miyu: This question is also coming from the squirrel who tried to shove a toy trumpet up the Stu's behind.
Axl: Well... yeah.

"I felt too tired to reach my room." Benji answered, he was going to open his eyes but Aki prevents him by gently placing her hand over his eyes. "You don't have to move." She said in a gentle tone. "You continue to nap and I will go take a shower, afterwards I will fix us some dinner and you can tell me what you did today that tired you so much."

Kyo K.: *as Aki* Aside from existing and pissing everyone off?

"Okay." Benji replied knowing that Aki wouldn't take a negative answer, Aki stands up and walks to her room glancing a couple of times to the couch. When her footsteps are distant Benji opens his eyes, he sighs inwardly for worrying Aki; he felt her ministrations, he wasn't truly sleeping or awake but somewhere in the between, Aki's touch was what made him fully awake.

'This can't continue…' He thinks running his right hand on his hair removing it from his forehead. 'I can't keep worrying Aki like this, I can't keep worrying the senshis like this…but what can I do to change this situation?'

Kyo L.: You can jump into this pot of oil. There's a suggestion.

End of the chapter nine:

Rory: We're done. *laughs* We're done! We're free from this horrible fic! Yes! Freedom! *laughs maniacally as he runs out of the room*
Benimaru: Oh, thank goodness. Finally.
Sonia: This... was the worst fic that I have ever read.
Manic: You're telling me. It made "Ultimate" and "The White Hedgehog" look like walks in the park.
Axl: So, uh... now what?
Kyo K.: *gets up, stretches* Well, I'm leaving, that's what. I'm going to call Yuki now. Later.
Kyo L.: As for me, I'm getting Miyu a new pair of glasses, and then... *ignites a flame* I'm going to fry that Stu.
Miyu: I'm not going to stop you, Kyo. It's been overdue, anyway.

--

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