Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Special Episode 8: Miles "Tails" Prower (Part Seven)

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Mai: ...hello.
Sonia: Hello, Mai.
Mai: ...I'm going to leave now. *gets up*
Sonic: No, you're not going to leave. You're going to sit here and enjoy this fic.
Mai: *sits down, sees Amy's stamped paper* It says "Epic Failure". You're lying, aren't you?
Sonic: Yes, I am. We hate this fic.

Note: To be honest, I had problems with this one.

Miyuki: Oh, let's not start with this fic's problems.

First off, it was kind of long. I had to hurry because I had to review for my upcoming semester exams. I might have ended this chapter a bit too fast, and if you think so, I apologize. Second off, I kind of wanted to play games as well, but didn't. Meh. Um... anyway... time for the chapter...

Sonia: You admitted that you rushed? A good story doesn't require rushing.
Tomoko: Now I don't wanna see it. It's half-assed. I don't wanna see it.
Manic: You never wanted to see this.
Tomoko: Yeah. Now I really don't wanna see it.

Chapter 18: Eggman's New Plan!!

Tails: Same as the old plan, I guess.

---------------

The day was late, so Tails went to bed to get a well-deserved sleep.

Miyuki: Yeah, threatening a general nets you a "well-deserved" sleep.

The next morning...

Tails got up, stretched, and walked outside and down the steps onto the main ground of the Mystic Ruin and stared across the ocean.

Akiko: Who's gonna try to drown him?
Tomoko: I will.

He took out his chaos emerald tracker, and extended its range. Tails found another emerald!

Manic: *throws his hands up* Of course he friggin' did!
Sonia: Effort's for losers.

But, once Tails saw where it was at, it didn't surprise him.

"Eggman's base... it figures. Usually Eggman has two emeralds when the emeralds are active." thought Tails.

Mai: And he never thought to barge in there because...?
Sonic: He randomly got them.

He paused, then continued thinking "But... if I'm going to get it, it certainly is not going to be easy.

Tails: *laughs loudly, falls out of his seat*
Tomoko: Very unusual for you to act like that, Prower. You snapping?
Tails: *as he climbs back into his seat* Yes. I will not make any excuses for that.

But, if Sonic can get into Eggman's base, get whatever, or whoever, he needs, and come out unscathed, so can I" thought Tails

Mai: Let me guess. He's going to get them without any effort, right?
Akiko: *sighs* Yes.
Mai: Then I shouldn't be here. None of you should be here. There's no point to this stupid fic.
Sonia: Trust us, we would love to leave. It's unfortunate that bad fics can't riff themselves.

Besides, Tails also knew that eventually Eggman would come back to attempt to not only take his chaos emeralds, but to try to take his weapons as well. So, to stop Eggman's stupidness once and for all, Tails knew he had to do this.

Sonic: "Stupidness"? It's official, the narrator is the head writer's own father.
Manic: He would not write this crap, and you know it, bro.

So, Tails got in his Tornado and headed towards Eggman's base.

Miyuki: He's going to head into the base... with the other Chaos Emeralds that he has? I don't care if he's a game breaker. That's still dumb!

Meanwhile...

Eggman was messing around with something, But, he was so into messing with whatever it was,

Sonia: ...that we didn't need any description for it.

he didn't notice Tails' Tornado coming toward his base on his screens that showed everything from the cameras, like the G.U.N. control room. Tails got lucky.

Akiko: *bored* How cliché.

Tails landed his Tornado in front of Eggman's base's entrance. He got out, took out his weapons, and sliced up the metal door.

Tomoko: Nobody even knocks anymore. Jeez.

Que: "Sinister Sundown" (Kingdom Hearts 2)

Everyone except Mai: *groans*
Mai: Let me guess. A common occurence?
Tails: Overused occurence.

Tails rushed through Eggman's base, easily taking out Eggman's robots with his swords. Tails was taking out Eggman's robots much easier than he was before.

Sonic: *bored* Yeah, yeah, totally not because of those game breaking swords.
Manic: *yawns*

After awhile, Eggman finished whatever he was working on, and finally noticed Tails on his cameras. He wasn't pleased.

"What?! Tails came to me?! He must have that stupid chaos emerald locator. So, that must mean he has put his chaos emerald locator on his spaceship into a handheld version.

Tails: I have a spaceship?! This is news to me!
Akiko: I don't think that editing is this Stuthor's strong suit.
Miyuki: Just editing?
Akiko: You know what I mean.

But, I can't believe he has the guts to come here to take my last emerald from me. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I'm glad he did, especially since I finished the upgrade. Guess I'll meet him in the work room." thought Eggman

Manic: And that's gonna get shredded like a block of cheese, right?
Sonic: Can we watch Mai slice things up instead?
Mai: I'd have to be a complete jerk.
Sonic: ...you were kind of a jerk to Rory in the past.

Eventually, Tails made it into a huge room. Tails saw Eggman above him in an overlooking area behind some glass. Eggman activated the speaker so he could talk to Tails.

Sonia: *as Eggman* The demonstration shall now begin! Class, let's perform a little brain surgery. Be prepared to take some notes.

End Music

"Congratulations fox boy, you've officially surprised me. Only Sonic has had the guts to trespass into my base for chaos emeralds or his friends." informed Eggman

"That may be true, but these new weapons of mine have helped increase my confidence in my abilities" informed Tails

Manic: We know. Now shut up.
Mai: Repetition probably leads to death.
Sonia: Or blatant insanity.

"How nice. Well... you won't have those things for long, because I'm taking them, your chaos emeralds, the finally building my Eggman Empire!!" declared Eggman.

Tails got in his fighting stance. Eggman saw this.

Miyuki: *as Eggman* How adorable.

"Oh. You're not fighting me..." started Eggman "Do you remember my Tails Doll?"

Tails was shocked. He was wide-eyed and speechless. Tails thought Eggman got rid of that thing a long time ago. Obviously not.

Tomoko: Pfft. What's next, Metal Tails?

"Well, I've improved it! Here is your opponent My Metal Tails!!" informed Eggman

Tomoko: Damn it!
Akiko: You went and jinxed it, Tomo-chan.

The metal sliding door halfway across the room from where Tails was standing opened.

It revealed something that looked similar to Tails, but it was a robot version of him.

All: *with dunce caps on their heads* Duh!

This was a little weird... but... this fight between Tails and a robot doppelganger of himself would be a little strange, but possibly interesting.

Sonia: And once again, horrifically one-sided.
Miyuki: Seriously, if anyone gets excited now, they've started late.

To be continued...

P.S.: sigh WTF Eggman?! WTF?! OO;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Mai: You wrote it. Don't blame Eggman for this. *to Sonic* Are these notes frequent?
Sonic: They're at the beginning and the end of every chapter.
Mai: *flatly* Yay.

Note: Don't worry... I'm pretty sure this chapter has returned to its previous good status.

Sonia: Good? Good?!

Basically because I had no interruptions or worrying while I was writing it :D.

Miyuki: I'm worried.
Manic: Same here.

Chapter 19: Metal Tails?!

Akiko: *removes the question mark, moves the exclamation point to the left* There we go.

---------------

Tails couldn't believe what Eggman did. Tails knew that the Tails Doll could suck out souls, which was scary in general.

Tails: That was an urban legend. A played out urban legend. However, it is a creepy little thing in the Archie comics... thanks to the played out urban legend.

So, it made Tails wonder why Eggman would "improve" it and make it a robot.

Tomoko: What's the name of this fic, jackass?
Sonia: If this fic talked down to us any further, we'd revert to infants.

Like Metal Sonic and Metal Knuckles, everyone just thought Eggman did it to try to have an "evil" form of Sonic and the others on his side, but no one knew for sure why Eggman built metal, or robot, forms of Sonic, Knuckles, and now, Tails.

Sonic: Metal Sonic exists because Eggman wanted to destroy me. He thought that he could destroy me in the only way possible... by trying to replicate me. Duh. Seriously, why is Tails, of all folks, forgetting this?
Tails: If amnesia is a side effect of more power, I want none of it.

Then, as expected, the voice contacted Tails again.

"Eggman certainly is a strange one to make a metal form of you. Does he wish to have your strength? Because a simple robot won't suffice." informed the voice.

Mai: Shut up, you insufferable ghost.

Tails laughed, inside his head, on that comment. The voice continued

"Strange. Eggman didn't entirely copy your look, because it doesn't have any weapons like the ones you now possess." informed the voice.

Tails now noticed this as well.

Akiko: It's because he's a robot. Wow. *frowns* This fic's making me feel dumb. I don't like this.

"But, then again, NO ONE could replicate your weapons." remarked the voice,

Manic: Shut up.
Mai: Shoving Q-tips in my ears would be a lot more entertaining than reading this.

but it continued "BUT, I'm sensing something strange about that robot nonetheless. Don't underestimate it,

Akiko: Drink... by proxy!

because you may have to use your full power on this one." informed the voice

"Right" assured Tails.

This... might be interesting...

Tails: Seriously, how many times does that need to be said?
Mai: It's not going to be interesting, is it?
Everyone else: Nope.
Sonic: Yeah, remember when we said that "The Scar" had some CTRL+C and CTRL+V stuff in it?
Mai: Yes.
Sonic: Yeah, this fic's worse than that one.
Mai: *flatly* Oh, goody. Can't wait.

Que: "Vim and Vigor" (Kingdom Hearts 2)

Tomoko: Welp. Better get to drinking.
Mai: Excuse me?
Tomoko: You'll find out soon enough, James.

Metal Tails rushed Tails really fast and Tails was barely able to sidestep out of the way, and Metal Tails came after Tails again!

Mai: Please don't make me laugh at this.
Miyuki: Well, the writing really is laughable.

Tails kept sidestepping and Metal Tails kept trying to hit Tails. Eventually, Tails got tired of it and when he sidestepped, he tried to slash Metal Tails vertically, north to south.

Sonia: Again... we know what "vertical" means.

Tails was only able to scratch Metal Tails, but it stopped its rushing, so Tails quickly extended his swords and started slashing Metal Tails with intense duel ground slashing combos.

Everyone except Mai and Tomoko: *sighs* Drink...
Tomoko: Forty-seven. *takes two shots*
Mai: Forty... seven?
Tomoko: Hancock didn't tell ya, huh?
Mai: No, he didn't.
Tomoko: If "combo" is used in a fight scene, I take a shot. I take two for "intense duel slashing combos". Got it?
Mai: Yes.
Tomoko: Good. Now you know. Tell the rest of your group in case these two ever switch out. *points to Sonic and Sonia*

Tails quickly threw Metal Tails into the air with an underhand, backward, slash with his right weapon. Tails quickly followed Metal Tails into the air and started slashing it with intense duel aerial slashing combos.

Everyone except Tomoko: Again? Already?
Tomoko: Shit. *takes two more shots* Forty-nine.

Tails ended these intense combos with his X cross slash

Sonia: *takes a shot of whiskey* I should've done this sooner.

that forced Metal Tails to hit the ground and it hit it hard.

Electrical sparks scaled all across Metal Tails, but somehow, it just shook it off!

Akiko: Why is this suprising? Eggman made it!
Tails: We have to stay on the edge of our seats, remember?
Manic: *bored* I'm on the edge of passing out.
Sonic: Stealing my lines, bro.

Metal Tails quickly rushed Tails again and tried to punch Tails, but Tails just dodged the punches when they came near him.

Miyuki: Because of course he goddamn did.

Tails quickly sidestepped another punch and started his intense duel aerial slashing combos ending the same way as before.

Tomoko: God fucking damn it! *takes two shots* Fifty-one!

Metal Tails quickly jumped up and his right hand popped open, revealing a gun barrel.

Sonia: Shoot me instead. End my misery!
Tails: You could throw yourself into one of your many volcanoes or sun gods.
Tomoko: Hell, just let LeMaire burn you up instead.

Tails knew what was going to happen next, so he

Miyuki: ...keeled over and croaked.
Manic: Best ending.

quickly started flying around Metal Tails clockwise as Metal Tails was trying to shoot him!! This kept up for quite some time, Tails wasn't sure if he could stop it.

Tails: I know that machinery can be flawed on occasion, but if this is supposed to be a robotic version of myself, I'm sure that it would find some way to hit me by hoping that I would actually maneuver into the bullet ahead of time. Shooting directly wouldn't work. By the way, this can also apply to Sonic.
Akiko: Logic's not gonna work here.

Because the only way to stop it was to get to Metal Tails, and because of its' shooting, Tails wasn't even sure if he could do that!

Sonia: Oh, look. Our "hero"' is in trouble.
Akiko: Please, he's gonna find some way to get out of it. It worked the last time, and the last time, and the last time... infinity.

But then, Tails thought of something.

Mai: That's a first for this bad clone, isn't it?

Tails quickly through his left weapon at Metal Tails.

Sonic: It's "threw", my man.

Metal Tails didn't expect that, and it hit Metal Tails and went into Metal Tails' chest!!

Tomoko: And this is supposed to amaze me... how?
Miyuki: I don't know, just pretend to be excited.
Tomoko: I'm not putting on a farce for this crap, Fujiwara.

Metal Tails stopped shooting. Tails took this advantage he had. He quickly used his speed to disappear and reappear in front of Metal Tails and quickly took out his weapon from Metal Tails chest, which hurt Metal Tails bad,

Manic: Stop or you'll be injured bad!
Sonia: Heh.

then Tails quickly spinned clockwise once and kicked Metal Tails, with his left foot in its face!! Which quickly followed with Tails' intense ground, then aerial, duel slashing combos ending the same way as before.

Sonic: Uh...
Akiko: Ground then aerial intense "duel" slashing combos? Two shots or four?
Tails: Four.
Everyone except Mai and Tomoko: Quadruple drink!
Tomoko: Fucking hell! *takes four shots* Fifty-five! I just took fifty-five shots because of this stupid bullshit!
Akiko: ...it's happening.

Eggman was shocked, speechless, and wide-eyed at Tails' speed. It was as fast as Sonic's speed.

Sonia: *bored* Oh, look. An ability that every bad Sonic OC has. Joy of joys.

This fight would only get more intense...

Mai: No, it wouldn't. Stop this bad silliness.

End Music

To be continued...

P.S.: Yup, sorry, this fight takes more than one chapter to finish. '

Sonic: *presses CTRL+V twenty times*
Tails: Sonic, that's not right.
Sonic: Huh. Really?
Tails: Really. You were supposed to use that command forty times.
Sonic: Oh! Heh. Good one, buddy.

Note: Well, here's the finale of the fight, but, um, well, you'll see... '

Chapter 20: Unbelievable Mech!!

Manic: In an unbelievable fic. That would be a compliment, but nobody's gonna believe this fic.

----------------

The battle with Metal Tails was about to get much more intense.

Sonia: *takes a shot of whiskey* I'll add that "intense" crap to my drinking game.

Things were just going to get much worse for Tails. Could Tails pull of a somewhat upset win over Metal Tails?

Mai: Even though Tails hasn't been hit once. Okay. Sure.

Que: "Vim and Vigor" (Kingdom Hearts 2)

Miyuki: Wait, hold on. We're going to play the music, stop the music, then resume the same damn music five seconds later?
Mai: This fic is... inconsistent.
Sonic: Yeah, we know.

After the intense slashing of the last combo and

Tomoko: ...me taking another shot... *takes a shot* Fifty-six.

Tails throwing his left weapon at Metal Tails to stop its shooting, there was a standoff between Tails and Metal Tails, waiting for the other one to move.

Akiko: Yeah, I think that Metal Tails'll have difficulty moving when it has a friggin' sword in its chest!
Sonic: Eggman's scrap heaps have been through much worse, I think.

But then, Metal Tails' robotic red eyes glew a sinister red. This could only mean trouble. Metal Tails started shooting a thin, red, laser at Tails through its eyes!

Sonic, Sonia, Manic: And then he dodged it with ease.

Tails zigzagged dashed to dodge the eyelaser and also rushed toward Metal Tails at the same time. Eventually, Tails was close enough to attack Metal Tails.

Mai: And then he attacked it with those stupid combos, right?
Tails: No, no, Metal Tails is gonna try to punch "me". "I'll" dodge that, and then "I'll" use those... stupid slashing combos.

Metal Tails quickly tried to punch Tails with its right hand, but, Tails easily sidestepped and slashed up Metal Tails real nice with intense duel ground slashing combos.

Tails: Booyah. Also...
Everyone except Mai and Tomoko: Double drink!
Tomoko: *takes two shots* Fifty... goddamn... eight.
Tails: By the way, the fact that I properly predicted what was going to happen in order proves one obvious flaw.
Manic: Yeah. This fic sucks.
Tails: That's overall, Manic, but... yes. It's painfully obvious that this fic is way too cookie cutter. This is why we are still doing the usual CTRL+C and CTRL+V jokes.

Tails threw intense into the air with an underhanded backward slash with his right weapon. Tails quickly followed Metal Tails into the air. Metal Tails finally used its' robotic tails to fly in air.

Sonia: It... didn't have a reason to fly until now. Wasn't this fight mostly on the ground?
Akiko: What? There was a fight? Then why am I sleeping through it?
Sonia: You know why.

It tried to quickly recover and punch Tails with its right hand again, but Tails easily sidestepped to Metal Tails' right side and intensely slashed Metal Tails with intense duel aerial slashing combos,

Tails: CTRL+V. And once again...
Everyone except Mai and Tomoko: Double drink!
Tomoko: *takes two shots* Sixty.
Mai: Does this person get tired of writing the same stuff over and over?
Miyuki: Again... CTRL+C and CTRL+V.

which Tails ended with his X cross slash

Sonia: *takes a shot of whiskey*

that sent Metal Tails into the ground and it hit the ground hard.

Sonic: I'm outta riffs.
Akiko: *bored* Yeah. Same.

Metal Tails had electrical energy scaling throughout its' body. It also had trouble getting up. Was it almost over?

Next, both of Metal Tails' hands popped open and Metal Tails shot at Tails with both of its gun barrels. This could have been bad, but, Tails knew what to do. Tails quickly used his speed to get behind Metal Tails. Metal Tails expected this and tried to quickly turn around and shoot Tails, but

Tails: ...he dodged, then did some combos, then Tomoko takes two more shots. *sighs* Get this over with.

Tails quickly ducked down, then slashed Metal Tails' head with his right weapon in a vertical, south to north slash. Metal Tails whiplashes backwards some and Tails quickly got up and did his same combos as before with

Tomoko: ...a sixty-first shot. *takes a shot*

his intense duel ground and duel aerial slashing combos,

All: Seriously?!
Tails: Never mind. Four shots.
Tomoko: Fuck me. *takes four shots* Sixty-five.
Akiko: *worried* Oh, no.
Manic: Oh, no... what?
Akiko: It's just... never mind. I'll deal with it when it happens.
Sonia: This is rather concerning.
Tails: *nods*

ending the same way as before. Metal Tails hit the ground hard again, and had even more trouble getting up.

Miyuki: *bored* Copy. Paste. Copy. Paste. Man, I don't wanna be here no more.
Mai: Obviously. You've barely said anything.
Miyuki: Yeah. Let's be blunt. You didn't wanna be here, either.
Mai: Yes, that is true.

But, then, Metal Tails' hands glew a bright white light. Tails went wide-eyed, and was speechless. He knew what was going on.

"Oh no, this is bad. I guess it DOES still have the soul sucking ability. I can't let him touch me. Or... ugh... don't even want to think about it." realized Tails

Manic: Do it! End this fic!
Tomoko: Never thought we'd see a fic where we'd end up rootin' for Prower's death, of all folks.
Tails: Not me, definitely. Hmm... is this how Kyo feels when he deals with his clones?

Tails and Metal Tails rushed each other and collided with each other with Tails' weapons and Metal Tails' soul-sucking hands. This kept up for quite some time. Tails wasn't sure what to do, either. Until...

Mai: *bored* He dodges, then he slashes, and then Tomoko will drink. It will also probably follow with Sonia drinking. We know. Get it over with.
Sonic, Sonia, Manic: Copy and paste. Copy and paste.

Tails quickly flew down, under Metal Tails and dodged another hand strike and intensely slashed Metal Tails with intense duel aerial slashing combos

Akiko: Oh, no!
Tomoko: *takes two more shots* Sixty-seven. *takes a deep breath, proceeds to break the table with her chain*
Sonic, Sonia, Manic, Tails: *startled*
Mai: *raises an eyebrow* This is happening.
Miyuki: The heck?!
Akiko: Tomo-chan, stop! Stop!
Tomoko: I swear to fuck, this fic is one of the worst pieces of shit that I had to sit through!
Akiko: Yes, we know, now get out before you try to kill everyone!
Mai: ...I'm sorry?
Akiko: *as she drags Tomoko out of the room* I'll explain later! Get our backups!
Sonic: Well, there's not much left, but since she asked...
Tails: *hands Sonic his Miles Electric* Here. I've already set everything up for you.
Sonic: Okay. Huh, looks like you enhanced your video call function on this thing. Nice. *speaks into the Miles Electric* Uh, hello?
Miyu: *appears on the Miles Electric's screen* Oh? Well, hello, Sonic.
Sonic: Hey. Yeah, we're gonna need Akiko and Tomoko's backups.
Miyu: I see. For how long?
Sonic: This and the next part.
Miyu: Alright, then. They'll be here shortly.
Sonic: Thanks.

and sent Metal Tails into the ground hard again with his X cross slash.

Sonia: Whiskey bottle didn't break, but the shot glass did. So... *drinks out of the bottle*
Jessie: *as she enters with Kyo* Did you steal that from my cabinet?
Sonia: No. *pauses* I stole this from James.
Kyo: Ha! Beautiful. Now what's the gist of this hot bullshit that's callin' itself a story?
Tails: I become a Gary Stu after finding a bunch of game breaking swords, and the fight scenes are narrated terribly. You're missing nothing. We're a little over halfway done, and nothing is worth any merit.
Miyuki: He worded it better than I did. I would've just said that it's crap.
Mai: ...it is.

Metal Tails quickly tried to dash towards Tails and hand strike Tails, but, Tails sidestepped and took Metal Tails' own right hand and made him punch him in the gut, but grabbing onto Metal Tails' right arm.

Something happened. Metal Tails glew white and it fell to the ground and exploded. It sucked its own soul.

Kyo: Suck mine out. I don't wanna see this crap.
Jessie: You've lost your soul a long time ago. You don't need this fic to finish you off.

End Music

All of a sudden a Tyrannosaurus Rex appeared!!

All: *flatly* What.
Manic: Dude, did you really run out of ideas?
Kyo: Oh. Good. Now I really don't wanna be here.
Mai: To be fair, I'm only here because Amy broke the screen.
Jessie: Again? No wonder we have insurance on screens.

Well, not really, it was another robot. Tails saw Eggman in a control pad in the T-Rex robo's head. Eggman spoke.

"Very impressive fox boy, making Metal Tails suck its own soul.

Miyuki: Robots? With souls?
Tails: Don't ask.

But, now that Metal Tails has weakened you, there's NO WAY you'll beat my ultimate Tyrannosaurus Rex robot. So, your chaos emeralds and weapons will soon belong to me!!" declared Eggman.

Sonic: If you've been reading this fic, you know that that stuff's not gonna happen. Ever.

Eggman was right, Tails was exhausted after his intense fight with Metal Tails, but Tails wouldn't allow Eggman to take his weapon or his chaos emeralds. Or, at least not without a fight.

Mai: Which he'll win. We know. We don't care.

So, once again, Tails re-entered his fighting stance. This... might be bad...

Kyo: Yeah, right.
Sonia: Let me drink myself to death.
Jessie: That's my job, sweetie.

To be continued...

P.S.: One fight right after another...

Tails: Copy...
Everyone else: Paste.
Tails: Here we go again.

--

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