Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Three Riffers, Episode 8: The New Girl (KRZR24 version) (Part Three)

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Chapter 6

The usual I don't own any characters but Sasha, SEGA owns the rest. . .blah blah blah. . .here's the story. . .review when you're done.

Miyu: I'm afraid to find out what we've gotten ourselves into.
Sonia: I just hope that we won't jump out of the window ourselves after reading it.
Manic: Well, Miyu's immune because Tails didn't jump.

"Hey, where's Shadow and Blaze," Sonic asked.

"Yeah, where are they. I didn't even notice they left," Amy exclaimed, feigning surprise.

"Oh, I saw them leave, they're together, so they both should be ok," Rouge said, not telling them everything that she knew. . .

Manic: She knows too much! Kill her! Kill her!

DUN DUN DUN. . .

This is what happened. . .

Sonia: Why do we need page breaks for everything?
Miyu: I have no idea. It's impossible to figure out where I can insert a riff without feeling awkward.
Manic: Forget feeling awkward, I hope that this fic doesn't make me go homicidal.
Sonia: Well, you're not Kyo LeMaire, so you have a chance.

Blaze's POV

While Rouge starts things off, Amy decides to whisper something random in my ear, something about flickering my gaze to Silver or something. So I do.

Manic: ...we're still on this crap?

And then she tells me to nod, and pretend to whisper something back. So I do, like the nice friend I am.

Sonia: If you claim that you're a nice friend, then you're probably not a nice friend.

Then she tells me to mutter something and "accidentally" say Silver's name out loud. And I don't. Amy may be a close friend, but I don't do that kind of stuff. Ever.

Miyu: I think that she's actually a nice friend. Not playing with someone maliciously is a positive trait, actually.

So I wave her off, she's goes to talk to Silver and Sonic, while I go talk to Shadow. Who's smirking for some reason I don't know. So I ask him what's with the smile. He says, "Look at Amy. Then look at Silver. Then look at Sonic."

Manic: Am I watching that Old Spice commercial?
Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Unlike this fic, that commercial was actually memorable.

So I do, and it's the funniest thing. Amy's twirling one of her hairs to look like she's flirting with Silver, Silver's completely falling for it, and Sonic's standing there looking like a ticking bomb, about to blow up.

Sonia: That's not funny at all. "Nice Guy" tendencies are not funny.

So I laugh, and when I turn around, Shadow's staring at me. When I question him, he says, "Nothing", but starts blushing. I ask him if he wants to go get a smoothie, and he says yeah. THANKS FOR THE IDEA SASHA!! is what I think.

Miyu: Who is this "Sasha" person?
Manic: Amy's obnoxious cousin. Sonic calls her "Obnoxi-Sue".
Sonia: She gets the worst relatives.
Manic: No kidding. She had her "sister" Kathryn, and now she has to deal with this noisy jerk.

I wave to Rouge, and motion to her that I'm getting a smoothie. She gets the message, and smirks as she sees I'm going with Shadow. Knuckles is too busy blabbing his head off to notice, so basically, Rouge is the only person who knows that I'm leaving. Sonic's too pissed at Silver, Silver's too busy swooning over Amy, and Amy's too busy with them both to notice, but she knows that this is part of the plan.

Miyu: If this escalates into a fight, it will be the worst plan ever.

While we're walking, some guys walk past me and start wolf-whistling.

Sonia: Ugh.

I shake my head and keep walking, but Shadow gets kinda twitchy, and stuff. He starts staring behind him and he he has this look of complete rage over his face. He wraps his arm around me, which trust me, I don't mind, and he glares daggers at those guys. I thought it was pretty funny, and apparently, so did a little old lady and her husband or something.

Manic: Why am I not laughing?
Miyu: Is it because you've lost your soul?
Manic: I sort of lost it during the last fic that I've dealt with, but I should technically be asking that question to you.
Miyu: Yes, I've lost my soul.
Manic: No kidding. Benimaru mentioned something about... tire fires.
Miyu: *grimaces* I wonder if they ever managed to burn in one.
Sonia: And she has indeed lost her soul.

She pointed to us, and snaps a picture. I smile at her and then she winks back. Right then, I know it's Sasha and some old guy she met and probably bribed to work with her.

Sonia: What is this nonsense?
Manic: Nonsense that thinks that it's a story.

The "old lady" comes up to us and says in a really good impression of the kind of voice someone's grandma would have, "You guys are soooo adorable, do you mind if I take a picture?" Shadow immediately says "YES!!" The poor person though leaves with her head hung. (I never realized how well Sasha can play with emotions).

Miyu: Why is that a positive trait? That should not be a positive trait.
Sonia: She really is the spawn of Satan, isn't she?
Manic: I thought that every Sue and Stu were Satan's spawns.
Miyu: Most of them, yes. Also... is she a sociopath?
Sonia: She makes Kusanagi look friendly. Yes, she's making Kyo's clone look nicer.
Miyu: If we're talking about the one from the "Esaka Destiny" thing... that's a giant leap, isn't it?
Manic: *shrugs* At least he was upfront about it. Doesn't excuse all of the crap that he did in there, though.

My heart went right out to her, and I say, "Shadow, you don't know if today's her last day to live or something. What if that had been her dying wish? I know it sounds weird, but I think we should let her take the picture."

He goes, "But I hate getting my picture taken!!"

"Then if your not going to do it for her, will you do it for me?"

"No."

"PLEASE??"

"No."

"PRETTY PLEASE??"

"No."

"PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP," I ask this time, using the puppy dog face.

Miyu: Who cares about what someone else thinks! Let's only care for the manipulative people!

"THAT'S NOT FAIR!! YOU CAN'T USE THAT!! N-N-N-N-FINE, YOU WIN."

"YES!!"

But that wasn't me who said that. The little old lady came back. "THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! Now, would you mind hugging each other? Please for a dying grandma??"

"Fine," Shadow said.

Sonia: At this rate... I wish that that Sue was dead. I can see why Amy can't stand her.

Shadow's POV

I was kinda surprised seeing Blaze with a new outfit. I mean, why did she choose today to change her outfit. I would have been happier if it had been a couple weeks earlier, like when we went to the beach last month.

Sonia: It's not about your penis, you little shit.
Miyu: Oh, my goodness. Everyone's so unlikable and entitled in this fic. All everyone cares about is what they want. How are these people even friends?
Manic: Because they're all masochists?
Miyu: Probably.

But that's not the point. The biggest jaw-dropper? Amy was flirting. . .with Silver. She had been stalking Sonic for what 3 years? And now she's flirting with Silver. She dropped him like a hot potato. And the funniest part is? Sonic finally realized that he liked her. Everyone else knew that but him, and now he was paying the price. Amy moved on. . . I'm happy for her. She's like a little sister to me. Plus, she's given me some advice in the past couple years.

Sonia: Did any piece of advice involve leaving this fic?

Now, I know what you're thinking. . .why would Amy give me, the Ultimate Life Form, advice? Because, the Ultimate Life Form, has . . .issues. Girl issues.

Manic: This fic has a ton of issues.
Miyu: And why would Shadow be so concerned about the opposite sex?
Manic: Don't ask me. I'm not stuck in that fic.

One girl to be specific. Blaze the Cat. Since both of these girls are close, I wondered if she would be willing to give me some advice on what to do. So far, I think it's been working. I mean, I used to just run from the moment I saw her. But now, I can have a full conversation. Unlike a certain blue hedgehog and his crush.

Miyu: I remember how you acted in "Sabrina's Adventure 2", and I can safely say... that you were incredibly incapable of holding a full conversation with your "twu luv".

Back to the story.

Sonia: Wait, there was a story?
Manic: Ha! Nope!

So since Rouge is talking to Knuckles, Sonic and Silver are talking to Amy (actually, it's more like Silver's talking to Amy while Sonic's glaring at Silver talk to her),

Sonia: *facepalms, groans* We know! Why are we being told the same thing over and over again?!
Miyu: Because this fic ran out of ideas.

Blaze comes over. She asks me why I'm laughing, so I show her the love triangle-ish. She giggles. And damn it, I love her laugh. It kind of sounds like tinkles and it sounds so adorable.

Manic: Wait, it sounds like people peeing?
Miyu: *as an eye twitches* Honestly...
Sonia: *tries not to laugh* You're ridiculous, Manic.

Now, some people may portray me as one, but I want people to know this before I go on. I AM NOT A PERVERT!! Some people go under the impression that I am, but I'm not. I just want to let it out. I'm your average Joe.

Miyu: You mean the Muay Thai fighter who may occasionally moon you?
Manic: *cracks up*
Sonia: Yes, because average Joes all run around using Chaos Control.

Some people are also under the impression that I'm emo. All I have to say is that if you say your best friend got shot to death while trying to save you, wouldn't you be pretty depressed? Then some of these bastards go even further and say that I should try to forget Maria. WHAT THE HELL?? HOW THE HELL DO YOU FORGET YOUR ONLY BEST FRIEND BEFORE YOU GET FROZEN FOR FIFTY FREAKIN' YEARS??

Sonia: It's more like "moving on" instead of outright forgetting.
Miyu: Wait. I thought that Shadow was supposed to be twenty in this fic.
Manic: I hope it's "physically 20, chronologically over 50".

So while Blaze is looking at the that love triangle-ish mess,

Sonia: And like this fic, it is a mess...

I'm giving her a look-over. And damn, she's HOT!! She completely switched up her look, and it looks great.

Miyu: And what was that about "I'm not a pervert!" again?
Manic: It's only okay if it's tight clothing! Dresses aren't for "real" women!
Sonia: *grumbles*
Miyu: *as she brushes some dirt off of her floral dress and adjusts her beret* Then this fic can take that "message"... and kindly shove it where the sun doesn't shine.
Manic: See, this is what we get from the girlfriend of an angry fox boy.

Unfortunately, I got caught. She turned around and noticed me noticing her, and asks me if something's wrong. I say something (I forgot) but I think she knows. Then she asks me if I want a smoothie. I'm not really that hungry, but it means having time with Blaze, so I go. She tells Rouge, and then we're off.

On our way there, we were walking, and a couple of assholes start wolf-whistling at her. I don't know why, but I suddenly get like protective of her or something. I think its cause I might be jealous or something,

Sonia: Because jealousy is a positive trait in bad romances, as you all know.
Miyu: Are we trapped in time?
Manic: No wonder I keep thinking that I'm losing my marbles.

or I'm thinking about Maria again. But suddenly, I feel like they're trying to pick a fight with me. So I get really aggressive and stuff. Some old lady thinks its funny,

Sonia: It really isn't funny. Stop trying to tell us that it's funny.

and she comes up to us and asks if she can take a picture of us. I'm photo phobic, so I tell her no. She leaves depressed, so I turn to Blaze. But she's looking at me with compassion written over her face and says that maybe we should let her take a picture. We get into this fight, and the only reason she wins is because she makes an unfair play and uses the puppy dog face. Not fair. The old lady comes, tells us to hug each other, and then runs really fast for an old lady with her husband or something. Wow. Then we get the smoothies and Blaze calls Rouge to tell her that they're all right. Rouge asks something about pictures and Blaze says they can go on without us. To where I don't know until she mouths "photo booth" to me. Blaze decides to go home and I walk with her to make sure nothing happens. Then at her place, before she goes in, she gives me a hug and thanks me for taking the picture for that old lady. For a second, I swear I heard a flash like a camera, but I must have been dreaming.

Manic: Am I high?
Miyu: Probably.
Sonia: This fic really doesn't want to end.

The little old lady(aka Sasha)'s POV . . .

Part A of Operation GSACTFFTADSOAFBRAA is complete.

Sonia: Okay, what in the hell is Operation... Gas-tactic-braa?
Miyu: *snickers*
Manic: It's supposed to be short for Operation "Get Sonic and Co. to fall for trap and display signs of affection for Blaze, Rouge, and Amy".
Sonia: *narrows her eyes* That's not how shorthand works. They're supposed to form actual words.

I got a picture of Shadow and Blaze, but I have a feeling that something else will happen, so I manage to get Frappechino (My Chao)

Miyu: And now she has a random Chao.
Manic: Pulled it out of thin air.

to follow the cute couple home, and snap any cute photo-ops. I had other business to deal with. . . MWAHAHAHAHA!!

Sonia: She is trying way too hard to be a villain.
Miyu: *adjusts glasses* That's because she is one.

What was this other business Sasha had to deal with?? You can only find out when. . . CHAPTER 7 COMES OUT!! PLEASE REVIEW!! I'M NOT ADDING ANOTHER CHAPTER UNTIL I GET 3 REVIEWS FOR THIS ONE!!

Sonia: Oh, great. We have the "hold the fic hostage until the hack gets reviews".
Manic: No wonder Sonic fled.
Miyu: That's actually a blessing! If we ignore the problem, it would go away!
Sonia: We didn't, that's why we have twenty chapters.

Chapter 7

If you're wondering why I changed my mind about the reviews, well I was reading these stories on Fanfic, and there were like a trillion when the author wrote, "I want so-and-so reviews before I finish this story." And then they got whatever reviews they asked for. . .but they never finished the story. That annoyed the everything out of me. So yeah.

Miyu: Huh. I normally see nobody reviewing the fic and then the fic dies after that.

Also, I was looking back at my story, and yes I noticed that I wrote that that was my first cliffhanger when it was actually my third. So if your gonnna comment, please don't talk about my slip-up. That was embarrassing. And I know that I messed up on the word thanks. No need to tell me that.

Sonia: The real slip-up was a fic that drove my brother and his friends to the brink.

Sasha: Wow. You need to stop rambling.

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Explanations are not "rambling", you uneducated troglodyte.
Sonia: *blinks* Well.

Me: I know Sa- Sasha?? What the hell?? Why are you here?? Your supposed to be in the story!!

Sasha: Because I feel like it. Jeez.

Sonia: You're not cute.
Miyu: My goodness, she's so incredibly rude.
Manic: Just wait until she meets either Kyo. They'll seal her mouth shut.
Sonia: I will not oppose that.

Me: Oh well. But you have to say the disclaimer.

Sasha: Fine, all recognizable characters belong to Sega, and KRZR24 own Sasha.

Me: Again, sorry about the review thing. I won't do it again. That was mean of me.

Sasha: You're rambling again.

Me: I'll be quiet now.

Manic: You know, if the Suethor bludgeons her own Sue, I'll laugh.

Tails'(Is that how you spell it?) POV

Sonia: "Tails'", "Tails's", whatever.

So while Sonic, Shadow, Silver, and Knuckles were at the mall getting Shadow's AC, I was checking to see if my present for Cream had any glitches. Surprisingly, there weren't any. I built her a computer because her mom said she wouldn't buy a laptop for her. And she really needs one. Her mom keeps hacking into her email accounts even though Cream is 100 percent innocent. And Vanilla is constantly chatting with Cream's friends pretending to be Cream to find out if she did something bad. That's really scary.

Miyu: Isn't that illegal?
Manic: Logic.

So, I decided to make her a computer that you have to give an eye scan to be allowed to use it(I don't know what its called, so if any does, please tell me). Take that Vanillla!!

Sonia: It's actually called an eye scanner.
Manic: I love it when bad writers are too lazy to look things up.

When I got to her house, she seemed pleasantly surprised to see me. I forgot about her excellent senses, and it didn't take her a long time to notice that I was hiding something behind my back.

Miyu: I don't know... maybe we don't grow laptops out of our backs.

"What's that Tails," she asked.

"Well, I decided to make a laptop for you because of your problems with your mom stalking you and hacking into your email accounts."

"REALLY!! OMG,

Sonia: *annoyed* Stop using chat speak in fics!

THANKS TAILS," and with that, she jumped and hugged me. I wasn't expecting it, and she tackled me to the ground by accident.

"Oops! Sorry Tails!"

"It's okay, just don't go all Amy on me," I joked.

"Tails, you really shouldn't say that about Amy. It isn't very nice."

"I'll stop."

Manic: Because we all know that Amy is this terrible person who wears dresses. She's not as likable as her annoying scam artist cousin who should be hit by a bus.

SPEAKING OF AMY. . . .

Sonia: That? We didn't need that. That's just another waste of text space.

Amy's POV

As soon as we found out that Blaze was "safe" (like we didn't know that already), we all went to the photo booth that just opened. On the way, Silver and I were really hitting it off. I never knew that the future was such a scary place.

Sonia: Future Trunks would have to agree on that.

I added very slyly (at least I thought it was) that Iblis probably would have destroyed the whole town if it weren't for him.

Miyu: How about the planet?
Manic: More like all of existence.

Sonic was really red. Sonic added that Eggman would have probably destroyed Mobius if it weren't for him, and then there wouldn't have been a future.

Manic: Great, he's still a "Nice Guy".
Sonia: It's not all about your boner, "brother". Get over yourself, you egotistical twit.

I giggled and said that he was probably right. His entire face lit up

Miyu: ...because Kyo set it on fire...

and then he and Silver started having an argument over who was the better hero. I decided to put in that I thought that they were equally great and that they shouldn't be fighting over something like that. They stopped, but both were glaring at each other the rest of the evening. Guys.

Manic: ...why do we have a useless love triangle?
Miyu: Because the Sue set it up.
Sonia: *sighs* Joy.

Back to the subject. When we got to the photo booth, there was a huuuuuuuuuuge line in front of it. Sonic made a comment about a long wait, and I laughed. Sonic smirked, but Silver got really angry. Sonic is sooooooooooo dreamy when he smiles/smirks/does anything. sigh I gotta focus.

Miyu: *sarcastically* He's also attractive when he's all whiny and clingy!

The line moved up a little, when a "random" old lady came up to us. We passed a knowing wink, but thank god, no else saw it. She had an unrecognized old man with her (probably some guy she met randomly and paid),

Sonia: Knowing how terrible she is, the Sue probably paid him in pocket lint.

and then asked to take pictures. She took one of Rouge and Knuckles, one of Silver and me, and one of Sonic and me. While Silver and my picture was taken, Sonic looked really upset.

Miyu: Uh-oh.
Sonia: I can't wait to hear him whine some more when we get to his POV.
Manic: Does that translate to murdering him?
Sonia: Yes. Yes, it does.

The old dude came up to him, and told him something. Then he looked really shocked, and then went back to looking really angry. Silver was pretty smug, so I decided to switch the roles. I went up and gave Sonic a hug, and when he asked me why, I told him he looked like he needed one. He smiled a real smile, then I took his and Silver's hand and they dropped me off at my house. That was so sweet of both of them. You know you wanna say AWWWWWWWWWW!!

Miyu: ...no, I don't. Stop putting words into my mouth.

Sasha's POV

Manic: Help me, God.
Sonia: He's not coming.

Operation GSACTFFTADSOAFBRAA is complete!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!

Miyu: ...she's giving me a headache.
Sonia: I know. She's just so sweet.
Manic: How sweet?
Sonia: Sweet enough for me to put a laser blast in the back of her empty head.
Manic: Yeesh! Yeah, you like her a lot.

It was actually much easier than I thought. After I payed the old dude his money, he went with the flow pretty well. I think he went with the role too well in fact. I wonder what he said to Sonic that made him shocked. . .

Manic: They were out of chilidogs.

Sonic's POV

Manic: Help me, God!
Sonia: ...still not coming.

You know what's weird?

Sonia: Aside from the fact that "You know what's weird?" could become an annoying catch phrase for this fic if this keeps going?

Old dudes. The old lady was just scary, but the old dude came up to me and told me that if I don't nab her now, then I'll regret it for life.

Miyu: I regret being forced to take my cousin's place for this.

I was confused, then shocked that the dude noticed that. I was gonna ask him how he knew that, when I got hugged from Amy. It reminded me of old times, except it wasn't a bear hug and she seemed kinda show-offy when doing it. Before I asked her why she did it, I saw Silver looking pretty angry. Remember kids: violence is not the answer, but revenge is.

Sonia: You are the worst role model ever. Which is why I need to kill you.
Manic, Miyu: *looks at Sonia*
Manic: So... murder's the answer?
Sonia: Murder is always the answer, dear brother.
Manic: Man, you and Amy really can scare me sometimes.

Chapter 7 is over. And it sucks.

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Only Chapter 7 sucks?

And I'm still feeling guilty about the review thing. I would have posted this chapter earlier, but I'd been having writer's block and-

Sasha: Again with the rambling.

Sonia: ...please die.

Me: SHUT UP!!

Sonia: Thank you!
Miyu: It's about time that someone told off that annoying cretin!
Manic: I was waiting for Sonia to punch her in the face, actually. I'm surprised that she didn't.

Anyways, I might not update for a while. I don't know. Till next chapter.

Sasha and Me: PLEASE REVIEW!!

Miyu: Okay. *writes* This fic is incredibly tedious. I don't know how this fic managed to trigger homicidal tendencies in a few riffers, but it did it.
Manic: It also turned some riffers into lemmings. That's a feat.
Sonia: Never mind the tire fire that you once requested, Miyu.
Miyu: Oh. Right. I forgot to ask Jessie and James to eradicate them from existence.
Manic: Well, when you think about all the terrible Sues and Stus this time around, their plate's going to be pretty full.

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