Mystery Science Theater En Masse: Disasterpiece Theater

Mystery Science Theater En Masse (MST 'EM): Disasterpiece Theater
"In a screwed up distant future... on the edge of time and space..."

Well. Turns out that a double helping of bad fanfiction didn't sit well with most of the riffers. It's gotten to the point where some of them don't even want to riff this time around.

Unfortunately... because of a giant coincidence, the Neo Esaka members (who made their debut in 2011) are forced to bring the other sixteen riffers along with them to riff at an actual location that is indeed called "Neo Esaka"... which debuted in the year of 2015.

And it's sponsored, because the "Neo Esaka" is indeed a location in the newest King of Fighters tournament.

And it's being broadcasted worldwide.

What joy.

Maybe there will be monetary compensation for them this time.

There's a catch for this season: Only the Neo Esaka members (excluding Miyuki) can riff on the main platform. If the riffer is not a Neo Esaka member, they can only riff on that platform if one of their riffmates is a member of that group. Everyone else riffs in a well-funded apartment that is away from the main platform.

Remember, I'm still using the Fiction ratings, so if you jumped here and never visited the Fanfiction section, here are the equivalents:
G = K
PG = K+
PG-13 = T
R = M
NC-17 = MA

M67/409 - Crescent Variation and Crescent variation altered story (Sailor Moon fic by Benji Himura)
Well, isn't this a doozy. We already dealt with Benji, and then we had to deal with Kira... and now it's back to Benji. This time around, it's different from "Outcast Saga", in which... he's Michiru's first love. Yes, you heard that right. A man is somehow a lesbian's "first love". And just like in "Outcast Saga", he's still an unlikable bastard. Jessie, James, Miyuki, and Tomoko have to deal with this fic, and they actually don't want to. Unfortunately, since they never read the Season Six special... they actually have to.
Fic's Rating: MA
MST's Rating: M, mainly due to innuendo and eventual angry language.
*This riffing takes place in the apartment.*
*Parts One and Two contain the original "Crescent Variation", while Part Three holds the "What-If?" riffing of the... "story".*
*The disclaimer for Part Three has been cut to cut down on filler.*
*This fic contains a sex scene in Part One, some violent scenes in Parts Two and Three, subtle misogyny in Part Three, and homophobia that ranges from subtle to full-blown.*
*The altered story only gets an "Epic Failure", thanks to the horrible OOC moments and huge medicine failure.*
Parts: One Two Three

M68/307 - An Open Letter to Rey from Star Wars (Original Article by Nathan Alberson)
Fictional women who kick butt everywhere! This guy here wants you to cut it out! Why? Because it's an affront to God! Of course he claims that it's one, but in reality, he's saying that it's an affront to his own penis. This article is incredibly patronizing, wordy, and redundant... which is why Sonia, Kyo L., and Akiko were selected to rip it to shreds. Join them as they deal with the worst article to ever hit this series. Seriously. Because no horrible article is going to top this.
Article's Rating: ~~G for Godawful~~ T
MST's Rating: M, mostly because of Kyo's angry language.
*Hyperlinks have been removed. Also... I do not want to link to the article's original location, considering all of the toxic material that the website has.*
*This riffing takes place in the apartment.*
*This article is full of misogyny. Also, there are tiny bits of transphobia and implied racism sprinkled in it.*
*Because of this article's offensive and patronizing content, it's enough to count it as a "Catastrophic Failure".*
Read it here!

M69/410 - Mike put his frosting in Bella's cake (Twilight fic by heath luck.edward cullen lover)
I know what you might be thinking. You're probably wondering if the title is a reference to certain bodily fluids and parts. And of course, you're correct. Unfortunately, it's not consensual. And even worse? Edward and Rosalie blame Bella for it happening, even though it's not her fault in the first place. Yes, her so-called "true love" treats her like trash for it, and his POV in the second chapter is only a poor attempt to redeem him. Miyu, Kyo K., Keiko, and Axl are the unlucky riffers who will be tackling this giant mess of a fanfic.
Fic's Rating: ~~G for Godawful~~ T... it should be MA due to the content in the first chapter.
MST's Rating: M, mostly because of Axl's angry language.
*This riffing takes place on the main Neo Esaka platform due to Kyo and Keiko's appearances.*
*This fic contains rape and tons of victim blaming.*
*The content in this fic and how it's handled is enough to catapult it to a "Catastrophic Failure".*
Parts: One Two Three

M70/601 - Emily H the Viking Princess (Original fiction by emilyh96)
Yes, the title is exactly what it is. It's supposed to be about a viking (and an incredibly obvious self insert) named Emily who is looking for her missing father. Only major problem is that the search for her missing father constantly takes a backseat just so she can have lots of bonking time with a hot dude that she just met. And of course, it goes downhill from there. Watch Manic, Cassy, Benimaru, Emi, Mai, and Rory trek through a convoluted adventure filled with nonsense, typos, and even more nonsense.
Also, please do not use Rory's impromptu history lessons as a study guide. You will fail.
Fic's Rating: M/MA
MST's Rating: T
*This fic has been modified a little bit to cut down on extra space.*
*This riffing takes place on the main Neo Esaka platform due to Benimaru and Emi's appearances.*
*This fic contains badly written sex scenes and a rape scene.*
Parts: One Two Three Four

M71/308 - The New Girl (Sonic fic by KRZR24)
Yes, there's another Sonic fic that is titled "The New Girl". However, the first one, Keira, was only mildly annoying at worst. This "New Girl" is Amy's cousin Sasha, and she is a real pain in the ass. She's also instantly hated in only four measly speaking lines. She's so terrible that she has an inflated ego, uses everyone for her own gain, lacks common sense, is a hypocrite, lacks empathy, and literally threatens to murder people or outright injure them (directly or indirectly) without getting any comeuppance for her actions, causing the riffers to flat-out believe that she is a bonafide sociopath (and in one certain part later on, they will believe that she's a domestic abuser). Oh, and she's also "hot" and "wonderful"... and she (and sometimes a few other characters) won't shut up about it. Later on, the Sue will have random "flaws" that will be used to try to gain sympathy points... and it will massively fail. Not only that, the fic's occasionally stuck on repeat or literally halts because of the constant POV switching. Also, most of the characters practically scam each other and commit literal felonies. And there will be Sonic bashing (with sprinkles of Amy bashing and Sally Acorn bashing much later on)... as if we didn't have enough of that petty character bashing crap already. Suffer through this headache-inducing fic that contains the most unlikable cast warped by one of the worst Mary Sues ever with Sonic, Amy, and Tails.
This fic is supposed to be funny.
Nobody will be laughing by the end of this riffing.
Fic's Rating: ~~G for Godawful~~ T. It's actually T.
MST's Rating: T (due to Amy's and then Sonic's eventual violent tendencies)
*This riffing takes place in the apartment.*
*Because of the extremely demonic Jerk Sue and the mostly horrible cast, this wedges itself firmly between "Colossal" and "Catastrophic Failure".*
*There is a warning for Part Ten, which has a scene that heavily resembles domestic abuse.*
Parts: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve

M72/A15 - Sailor Sun (Sailor Moon fic by Sailor Sun)
Of course we have a million Sailor Suns. This one comes from the infamous SailorJupiter.com site.
So... this fic... is incredibly bizarre. It just contains a bunch of incredibly short chapters that involve Ana/Sailor Sun being better than the cast. That's... about it, really. Have fun reading this bizarre romp that's filled with some old school Mary Sue goodness with the Egg Spiral hedgehogs and Tails.
Fic's Rating: K/K+
MST's Rating: K+/T
*This fic uses the dub names of the cast, except for Amara, who is oddly named "Alex" in this fic... until Part Seven, where she goes back to being named Haruka. Michelle's name also goes to her original Japanese name in that part, although it's misspelled.*
Parts: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven

M73/B15 - All My Heart (Dead or Alive fic by Alex118)
It's hard to find Gary Stus... but this one is practially "Diet Benji" to Miyu. And yes, he checks off practically everything when it comes to a cookie cutter Stu. He's a self-insert, has ridiculous powers, and of course... knocks any women aside so he can shine. The third one isn't in detail, but it's vaguely there. What's also not in detail are the fight scenes that are about... eight words long. I'm serious. Watch the Black Crow (and Akiko) riff this silly oneshot.
Fic's Rating: T
MST's Rating: T
Read it here!

M74/C06 - Sailor Moon:Fantasy! (Sailor Moon fic by Anime Fantasy Knight)
Uh... um... have another bizarre Sailor Moon fic, only with poorly done descriptions of everything, from dressing to the sex scenes. And when it comes to the sex scenes, well... bring an umbrella or a raincoat. It's a messy fic. Join the Neo Esaka and Miyuki as they try to riff this one.
Fic's Rating: MA
MST's Rating: T/M
*This fic uses the dub names of the cast, except for Serena, who will be named "Serenity" here.*
*This fic contains a lot of poorly done sex scenes. Part Four contains a poorly done female/female scene that lasts about six seconds.*
Parts: One Two Three Four

M75/D06 - Closing Time (King of Fighters fic by Rukochan)
What would've happened if Mature and Vice didn't die at the end of the King of Fighters '96 tournament? Well... certainly not the events in this fic, but hey, it's a oneshot that bends the rules a lot. And the rules happened to be bent well enough for the Crazy Train and Tomoko to crack it open. No wonder Axl's so giddy to read it.
Fic's Rating: MA
MST's Rating: T/M
*This is another anti-riffing. Take a break with this fic!*
*This fic contains sex scenes, specifically female/female ones. It also contains some strong language.*
Parts: One Two

M76/E03 - Wish Upon a Starr (*Possible Old Shame* Sonic fic by bloomacncheez)
So, a mysterious toucan washes up on the Emerald Coast... and the Chaotix instantly fall in love with her. After that, we find out her "secret" past (which Tails figures out almost immediately), and awful random "humor" is smashed into everyone's faces like an anvil attached to a parachute. Even worse is that Jet and Starr eventually turn into some really annoying and squawky birds. Join the Riffer Recruits as they set themselves up to take on a fic that eventually turns into a slight ripoff of "Sonic X".
Don't forget to bring your earplugs, folks.
Fic's Rating: T
MST's Rating: T
Parts: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven

M77/S07 - The Scar (Mortal Kombat fic by DeathBlade1313)
An "edgy" self-insert... with too many weapons... and an incredibly unlikable personality? And he's so wonderful that women swoon over him and he treats certain characters like garbage while getting away with it? Are we talking about Benji or Kyle here? The answer's obviously "both", but we're going to deal with the latter for this fic. Come along with the Egg Spiral's Sonic and Amy, the Black Crow's Jessie and Cassy, the Tsukino Sisters of the Neo Esaka, and the Crazy Train's Mai and James as they deal with the "Benji of Mortal Kombat" who ruins not just the story of Mortal Kombat 9... but also the first film with his "manly man" self. Granted, unlike Benji, Kyle slowly becomes somewhat less hated with time.
Still, this won't be easy.
Fic's Rating: T, but the fic should be at M
MST's Rating: M for rather harsh language (Jessie and James are the worst offenders here)
*The Tsukino Sisters are present, so this riffing will take place on the main platform.*
*Since this is a Mortal Kombat fic, it obviously contains gore. This fic also has bits and pieces of misogyny, which is a staple for Gary Stu fics.*
*This fic is currently at the "Epic Failure" level... for plagiarism. Yes, the Stu's also a terrible little gnat.*
Parts: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen

Here are the Obscure References for the Riffer Collabs.
Here's the season's Obscure References for the Egg Spiral, the Black Crow, the Neo Esaka, the Crazy Train, and the Riffer Recruits.
Here are the Obscure References for the Special.
And here are this season's Behind The Scenes.

"We're only two chapters in, and I already want to throw myself out of the nearest closed window!" - Cassy, "Sabrina's Adventure 2: Return of Sabrina"
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