Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Four Riffers, Episode 6: Sealing the Elements (Part Two)

--

3. Sleep Time is Over

Axl: Well, nobody passed out to start with.

I hope all the readers in England had as good a Red Nose Day as I did! Wacky Hair Day at our school, and we got out of Geography! Woohoo!

Tomoko: I don't care. Let's just get this stupid fic over with.

Thanx to reviewers! Kerrigan, you brightened up my day! Magic Snowglobe Sue, thanx for the input, but I'm still writing the story. It isn't what you expect.

Manic: Translation: My character isn't a Mary Sue! Suck it, hater!
Jayleen: Pardon, but what exactly is a "hater"?
Manic: What idiots call people who disagree with them.
Jayleen: That isn't the... oh, never mind.

As normal, I don't own X-men. DO NOT RUB IT IN.

Manic: You know... it would make sense for the author to try to create an original series... with her Mary Sue...
Tomoko: Already happened. It's called "Fifty Shades of Brown".

But I do own Cassie and the plotline. OK.

Axl: You own an unoriginal Sue and a boring plotline? Yeah. How creative.

Chapter 3 - Sleep Time is Over

All: *whacks their dunce caps off of their heads*

The morning lessons had been relatively uneventful. Unless you can count the time when Rogue started yelling at Bobby in French.

Jayleen: So... yes, the lessons had been uneventful.
Axl: Yep. They didn't focus on the Sue, so all of that filler crap was skipped.

And so, at lunch most of the X-men sat together. But Scott, Evan and Bobby were worried. At one end of the table the girls had barely eaten anything they were so busy gossiping. They were giggling and talking while stealing glances at the boys, giving them good reason to be worried.

"They keep looking at us." Evan mumbled.

"Yeah. What are they giggling about?" Bobby murmured to Scott.

Tomoko: The Sue probably had X-ray vision. Maybe she's laughing about their penis sizes.
Manic, Axl: *shudders*

"I don't know, but it doesn't look good." Scott answered. "Last time they did this Kitty had organised a `shopping spree`" At this memory they shuddered. "Just keep your heads down."

They looked down seemingly very interested in their food.

Jayleen: Are you sure that they are looking at food? That horrible gruel couldn't be up to par with--
Manic: *holds his head* Please stop.

* * *

"Oh come on Cassie! Even Scott has looked you up and down!" Jubilee pushed, "Take a long look around you, OK. Every guy in here is looking or glancing at you!"

She smirked at Cassie's appalled but flattered face when she realised that it was true.

Axl: Oh, shove a cactus up your ass, Sue. All that faux humility's getting you nowhere.

But the smirk was stopped short by a glare from Rogue.

"That's real low Jubes." She growled. "Ah think maybe Jean wants some tah talk to. Someone just as jealous of Cassie as she is." Rogue pointed a gloved finger in Jean's direction, near where Duncan was sitting.

Looking around the table for support Jubilee found she had none. With a scowl she got up and flounced off to Jean's table, watched by Bobby and Evan trading surprised glances.

Axl, Jayleen: *confused*
Jayleen: What in the world did I just read here?
Manic: *re-reads the previous sentences silently* Hey, wait!
Tomoko: What?
Manic: How is that considered jealousy?
Tomoko: It isn't, Hedgehog. The Suethor can't write for crap and probably hates Jubilee, too.

After an awkward silence Cassie looked uneasily at the eyes watching her from all over the room before asking, "Would you mind if I used my powers to stop them staring? I would make sure that it didn't effect any of our kind."

Jayleen: *removes the "e" in "effect", adds an "a"* Mary Sue, it is safe to say that you have butchered the English language.
Manic: Oh, most of them do that, anyway... some worse than others.

"Like, go on!" squealed Kitty excitedly.

Axl: Uh, 'scuse me. Why the hell is she using her powers out in the open?!
Tomoko: Sue logic, James. Oh, and if she gets them all in trouble, it'll probably be Jean's fault.

No one had really seen a proper demonstration of Cassie's powers so they were all watching eagerly as she stood to face the students of Bayville High.

"Excuse me. But may I please have your attention!" The hall fell silent as bemused students turned their attention away from their lunch. "Thank you."

Manic: Y'know, the average high school would've outright ignored her. But since this is a Mary Sue... she needed to get their attention.
Axl: Well, she absorbed the attention like a damn sponge last chapter. Isn't that what they need to survive?
Manic: Well, that and eating their souls.

Closing her eyes Cassie focused, taking deep breaths all the while. She heard gasps but kept her eyes shut.

Jayleen: *confused* Did she discard her clothing?
Tomoko: God, I hope not.

Tuning out the irrelevant sounds she focused. Then she opened her eyes.

She looked like an illustration of a Goddess.

Axl: Yeah, you misspelled "vomit", Suethor.

Her hair looked almost alive, as if an invisible wind was blowing the tendrils into the air. Her clothes shimmered in the sunlight. And her eyes. For a split second her eyes were an electric blue before returning to a deep brown.

Jayleen: *yawns* This is incredibly tedious.
Tomoko: Huh. So that's where Miyadama got that magic trick from.

Smiling gently she sat back down to the sound of innumerable yawns and looks of envy from Jean and Jubilee.

Manic: *annoyed* Look, Suethor, we got it. They're jealous of your waste of space. I am not impressed with this garbage here!
Tomoko: Takes a lot to annoy you, huh?
Manic: Yeah, but I don't wanna be annoyed. This fic is doing a good job at that, though!

For every non-mutant was asleep where they stood or sat.

"Hmm. Not bad. But I'm really out of practise." She laughed at their surprise.

Axl: Oh, go get hit by a plane, you... *mutters*

"Can you tell me who the other group of mutants are? I sensed them but let them be." Cassie asked curiously.

Jayleen: *stunned* This is coming from "Miss I Know Everything"? *holds her head* Oh, I can't take much more of this nonsense.
Tomoko: I thought you wanted to be "Miss I Know Everything".
Jayleen: Not if the end result would make me universally loathed!

"We can tell you," came Lance's voice from the other side of the hall. Four people, three boys and one girl, were picking their way through the sleepers.

"We are the BOM!" he stated dramatically.

"Bom?"

"The B.O.M.! The Brotherhood Of Mutants!" cried Toad leaping over the table towards Cassie.

Manic: It's not a juice drink?
Axl: Nah, that's "Pom", Manic.
Manic: Ah, well. *begins drinking*

The X-men were very alert as the Brotherhood approached. In fact Rogue was openly hostile as she dropped into a fighting stance. But Cassie stood tall, one hand on hip, smiling slightly.

Tomoko: *angrily whips Cassie with her chains* You cocky little brat!

Once he had come close enough she held out her right hand and introduced herself to the Brotherhood of Mutants.

Axl: I introduced myself to her with a middle finger. But hey, whatever works.

"My name is Cassie. It's a pleasure to meet you all." Leaning down she whispered in Toad's ear, "Especially you Toad. I know all about you from a certain girl behind me."

Cassie slyly glanced at Kitty, which didn't escape Toad's notice. He gazed at Kitty in wonder and was amazed to see her begin to blush.

"I'm Lance. That's Wanda and Peitro." Lance introduced pompously pointing to them in turn. "They are twins. Unfortunately."

Manic: Uh... how is that unfortunate? Care to explain?
Tomoko: Nope. They're not the Sue, so screw them.

Cassie's eyes met Peitro's and she used her telepathy to find out about him without him noticing. Which, he didn't, of course. She had been doing it for years.

Tomoko: *whips Cassie harder*
Jayleen: *twitches an eyebrow* Are... you... kidding...?!
Axl: *angrily tugs at his hair* This snobby... hypocritical... diseased piece of shit!
Manic: *double facepams* I hate this Sue. I hate this stupid fic. I hate everything right now.

_His father! _ She had seen this man to many times before, how could she forget him? _How could I ever forget him? _ She thought, hatred boiling up inside her.

Tomoko: Oh, Jesus, Sue. Stop with the wangst!

She wrenched her gaze away and took a look at him.

_Gorgeous _ she thought without realising she had thought it.

Manic: *still facepalming* Stop doing things.

_Wait. I will never like anyone who has anything to do with. him _

Axl: Yeah, you will. Shut up and have his hellspawn.

Suddenly an impatient Wanda pushed through Lance and Toad to reach Cassie. "Hi. I'm Wanda. Don't you think you are on the wrong side? We know far more than the X-geeks!" Wanda laughed, along with Peitro.

Manic: Uh... why's the Scarlet Witch with the Brotherhood?
Axl: Who knows? The Sue's already wrecked canon, anyway.

Cassie felt as if she was going to explode. "You don't know anything!" she screamed.

Tomoko: I know that you need to be hung by the Maiden. Is that a start?

The students awoke with a snap as Cassie lost control.

Jayleen: She lost control because of a few words? *scoffs* She is incredibly shallow and fragile, isn't she?

Backing away from the bewildered Brotherhood, Cassie's hair began to come up from her shoulders and back, blowing gently, then more violently. Hands clenched she stood.

Manic: I thought that she was already standing. Now she's standing... again?

"Your father." she spat out, "Your father is a sadistic son of a bitch!"

Axl: *yawns* Down the road, not across the street, Sue... or just get obliterated by a death ray. That helps, too.

Throwing her arms out and her head back she unleashed it all.

Tomoko: Hey, I don't need to see all of that!

All around her the wind blasted through the glass windows, showering glass all over the floor, pushing doors open and creating a vortex around Cassie. Below her the Earth shifted in anger and water broke free of its metal confinements. Outside a tree burst into flames.

Jayleen: *horrified* This horrible Mary Sue is going to murder us all!
*Outside, two people could be heard screaming.*
Axl: *runs to the window* What the heck? *sees the two people being shot into the sky* Uh... looks like Jessie and James failed in killin' her.
Jayleen: Well, then... *smirks as she brings out her naginata* It looks like I'm going to succeed where they have failed.
Manic: Not yet. We're almost done with this crap.

* * *

*What is happening Ororo? * The Professor cried out to Ororo, as she flew over the grounds of the mansion battling for control over the winds.

*I don't know! * came back a breathless reply. *But I do know that I can't stop it. *

Tomoko, Jayleen: What?!
Tomoko: This damn Mary Sue needs to die.
Axl: *tears his hair out in a rage* I am going to freeze her so hard... that it's going to look like another ice age here!
Manic: *slowly backs away*

* * *

Screams of terror and pain cut through the air as students ran aimlessly and hid under tables, glass cutting into their skin and fear of the unknown running through their minds.

Manic: Yes, hide under the tables. That always works.
Tomoko: And that's a crappy way to wake up. I mean, a Sue makes you fall asleep, and then you wake up to her losing her crap?
Jayleen: It's a living nightmare, Nakamura.

At the centre of the Vortex was Cassie. Her hair was streaming around her and she fed off the fear and defeat she could feel coming off the students.

Tomoko: This damn Sue sponge...

Her eyes were closed with bliss and her body, trembling with power.

Manic: Oh, dear god. She's having an orgasm!
Jayleen: I believe that I may need to acquire this item called "Bleeprin" now.
Tomoko: The heck is "Bleeprin"?
Manic: *gets a book* Let's see... ah! Bleeprin is a mixture of bleach and aspirin. *looks at Axl who is now frothing and raging in a corner of the room* He's first to get it.
Jayleen: Maybe James should receive four of them.

"Tell your father that Helix has come home!" she cried opening her eyes. Those that saw them pulled back in horror, for they were the inspiration for nightmares.

Her eyes had no pupils and they were blood red.

Tomoko: *readies her chains* Is this stupid fic finally done?
Manic: Yep. No more chapters. Thank god.
Tomoko: Good! Come on, Jade! Let's rip her a new one!
Jayleen: As long as I can finish that wretched Mary Sue off in a spectacular manner. Maybe we should let James begin?
Tomoko: I guess. He's already set to tear her to shreds.
Manic: Yeah. You three go on. I'm just going to lie down... preferably in a storm cellar... *gets his phone* ...and call Dante and Vergil to assist you.

--

Go Back to Part One
Go Back to Interns Page
Go Back to Episode List
Go Back to Main MST 'EM Page