Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Five Riffers, Episode 1: Marielle (Part One)

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Chapter 1: Love Story

A/N: Omg this is my first time ever writing anything!

Kyo: Oh, this isn't going to end well.

Please be gentle with me, lol! ;)

Leah: I'll be gentle with you just like my creator was with me... which means that I won't be gentle at all. Oh, well.

Hope you like! Read and review!

Scarlet Harlot

Love is the greatest sin man can commit.

Tails: I thought that being a member of Wall Street or AIG was the greatest sin.

People die for love. People kill for love. People do horrible things to each other, all in the name of love.

Miyu: And money. Don't forget money.
Mai: That's why Kim Kardashian won't go away.

But what if your life, or even a dozen lives, wasn't enough. How far would you go, what sins would you commit, to prove the strength, the conviction, and the truth of your love?

Leah: I'd play the lottery. I'd probably win that.

- Unkown

Tails: Uh... *fiddles with his Miles Electric* I have to find a way to add that missing "n" in there...

Chapter 1

The bus was late again, but that wasn't anything new.

Kyo: So learn to drive. Duh!

I wouldn't mind the wait so much if the sun wasn't so intense.

Miyu: Oh? But you'll miss out on my sun tea!

Already I could feel the skin on my bare arms heating up underneath its golden gaze, my legs beginning to sweat beneath my skinny, store torn and faded, and it wasn't even eight in the morning yet!

Kyo, Leah: *facepalms*
Mai: I'm already annoyed with this broken description, and we haven't gotten off the ground yet!

Looks like it was going to be another bright, sunny, scorching California day.

Tails: Well, there goes half of the state. With all of that plastic surgery, they're certain to melt like Barbie dolls.
Miyu: *stammers* Cousin Tails!
Tails: I'm only the messenger. Don't shoot me.

I sighed and looked back over my shoulder, through the living room window, the curtains drawn back to reveal my father sitting in his favorite suede leather comforter, nibbling on a piece of toast lightly coated with strawberry jam – part of the new diet he didn't really needed to go on but was determined to fit into that new business suit before the winter holidays rolled around- despite the fact that Lupe had made a perfectly good breakfast this morning, as she did every morning, and evening, and afternoons on weekends when my sister and I were home from school (if we had nothing better to do that day) and already shouting something into his cell phone around his mouth of bread and jam, all the while watching us out of the corner of his eye, making sure we boarded the bus to school, safely, each morning, and where not off somewhere in the city, hanging out, meeting with friends, or just killing time until school let out and we were expected back home.

All: *confused*
Kyo: What the hell did I just read?
Leah: I... I don't know. I'm starting to wonder if it's possible to read that whole thing without passing out.

Not that I had ever played hooky, or ever had any intention of doing so, but Maria…

Mai: *as Marielle* Well, she wasn't as perfect as I was.

Thinking of my sister my eyes drifted towards her, sitting on the curb by my feet and paying me no mind, completely immersed in her book, Eclipse, the third book in the Twilight series. Actually, it's our book!

Miyu: *makes a time out gesture* Wait, stop.
Kyo: What's the matter, Glasses?
Miyu: If this is a "Twilight" fic... why are we talking about people reading the books?
Kyo: Y'know... we shouldn't look for logic... because we just dealt with a big ass "sentence" earlier.

Neither of us had the money at the time to buy an individual copy- and I so would have! – but together we were able to buy the book and a T-shirt with the book cover art on it, which we took turns wearing.

Tails: Assuming that the T-shirt was the same price as the book... why couldn't they buy another book instead of the T-shirt?
Leah: *looks at Tails*
Tails: *holds his head* Oh, now my head hurts.
Leah: *opens a bottle of beer, begins to drink* Yep. That's why I don't bother with that sometimes.

Today was my turn to wear it- and you can bet your black ass that I was taking advantage of it-

Mai: *confused* Uh... none of us are black.
Miyu: Except for Jessie. She's half black... and she's not here. Oh, well.

so I let Marianne have the book…but just for today! I'd probably want to read it again tomorrow. It would be something like the eleventh time I had read it, and somewhere near the fifteenth for Marianne,

Kyo: Oh, my god... why do they need to read that crap over and over again?
Mai: Because the brainwashing wasn't complete.

who was the faster reader, but neither of us cared, the story never got old for us

Leah: It was old two sentences into the stupid thing. Bella the Brat whines loudly, just like how she whined in the first two books.

and it was all we had to sustain us until the volume, Breaking Dawn, came out… Fuck, I wanted it now!

Tails: Okay, then I'll summarize it for you now. *reads from his Miles Electric* Bella got pregnant, gave birth to a Mary Sue baby, Jacob and this person named Quil began to lust over little girls, and Chris Hansen told those two to have a seat.

I liked the books, loved them really, because I felt like I could relate to the heroine who the books were about, an average girl, smart but kind of a loner, who had found love in the form of a gorgeous but mysterious and handsome stranger.

Miyu: She was also an insufferable excuse for a human being, but let's not get into that now.
Leah: If only I could make that whiny little amoeba cry again...
Miyu: Why?
Leah: Hey, she had it coming. Don't know why she went all up in arms because I didn't feel like kissing her butt.

A love so strong that nothing could come between them and no one could tear them apart!

All: But there was no love in it!

Marianne just liked it because the hot guy was a vampire. She was into things like that.

Kyo: She likes guys who look like they haven't eaten anything since that asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs? Okay, then.
Tails: Wait, this makes no sense. They both like it because of Edward. So... why does Marielle think that she's better than her sister because of that reason?
Kyo: Because she's an idiot, Tails.

I readjusted me shirt to make sure it fell correctly over my full C cup breast.

Leah: *bluntly* I don't care how big your boobs are. Get on with it, lass.

It fit me just as well as it did Marianne who was relatively the same size as me. You see, Marianne and I are twin sisters.

All: *sarcastically* No, we wouldn't have guessed that!

True I'm older by about two hours or so but we were still born on the same day and we generally look the same; pale skin, straight light blonde hair, round faces, full lips, lean forms with full perky beast and wide hips, the perfect hour glass figure that we had inherited from out late mother, and the same hazel blue-green eyes.

All: ...
Mai: I have this sudden urge to stab someone.
Kyo: Well, just don't stab me, Gloomy. Swiss cheese isn't a fashion statement right now.

Sometimes even our parents had trouble telling the difference between us, let alone any friends or teachers, or alone anyone we had just met. And with names like Marianne and Marielle things could get really confusing!

Tails: Because they're twins! Get it?! *laughs loudly, suddenly stops* Oh, I already hate this fic.

In fact, all through elementary and the better part of middle school most people had referred to us as "Mary & Mary", or worse, just "Mary", as if we were one entity!

Miyu: Let's ignore the fact that people were probably too lazy to remember their full names.

That's why in our freshman year of high school I started dying my hair red. At first I didn't know what I was doing and for the first couple of months I had to go to school with hair a closer shade of pink than actual red, but dad seemed to think that was fitting punishment as I hadn't asked for permission to dye my hair before I started doing so, as I was almost certain he would have said no if I had asked.

Kyo: I'm trying to give a damn.
Leah: *continues drinking her beer* Same here, man. Same here.

I had to deal with being called "pinky" for awhile, and I still do at times, usually from those in the same year as me who still remember the fuchsia creature that had inhabited Evewood High school for almost a year, but now in my junior year I can safely say I have the art down pat and my hair is a nice, perfectly natural shade of red; deep and rich, almost bloody in color. I'm proud to say that I've even had a few people question why I was born with red hair when my twin sister is very clearly a light blonde color!

Tails: It's not natural because you dyed it!
Mai: Perfect, perfect, perfect. She's perfectly annoying right now.

I eyed my sister once again, admiring her hair, once so similar to mine, pulled back into two long pigtails that started atop her head and drifted down to her shoulders, held in place by two black velvet ribbons.

Miyu: So... dye it back to blonde...?
Leah: And listen to her whine about her stupid hair again? I think I'll pass on that.

She must have felt my eyes upon her because at some point in me musings she had lifted her gaze away from the pages in her lap to meet my transparent stare.

Mai: They say that the eyes are the window to the soul... but all I see is an empty head in Marielle's case.

I blinked the images of the past from my eyes and tried to cover by asking her a question, as if that is what I had been thinking of the whole time I had been staring not quite at but rather through her," What time is it?"

"Time to get a watch."

Kyo: *begins to play a rimshot, but stops* That wasn't funny.

"…That's not funny."

Kyo: *sputters* Damn it!

"It wasn't meant to be. You got a watch from grandma for our last birthday-"

I rolled my eyes at the reminder. Honestly, who gives a teenage girl a freaking watch for her birthday!

Leah: You're welcome, you whiny bitch. *suddenly remembers that Tails is sitting with her* Oops.
Miyu: And if the watch was worth a million bucks, she'd still complain.

I had written my grandmother a list of possible presents for that year and a watch hadn't been anywhere on it…unless she had confused it with Marianne's again, which she did, a lot!

Tails: Because they're twins, remember?!
Miyu: I don't know why she needs a list of things. That's very selfish and shallow.
Mai: And this isn't "My Super Sweet 16". Take the watch, switch the presents... I don't care. Just shut up.

Old woman was starting to get senile these days and I wouldn't put it past my sister to do something lame like ask for a watch as a present.

All: *stunned*
Tails: *drops his Miles Electric* I... I don't...
Kyo: *clears his throat, covers Tails's ears* You know you want to, Leah.
Leah: Oh, thank you. *takes a deep breath, yells* You are a stupid and whiny little asshole, and I wish that you were hit by a bus! *takes another breath* Okay, I'm done. And I need to be careful with my temper here.

Either Marianne hadn't seen my exasperated gesture or she didn't care-

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Well, we don't care about you, either. We're pretty much even now.

"- go inside and get it. Or pull out your cell phone and check. I'm reading."

"Yeah, reading our book!" I growled at her.

All: *annoyed* Then buy a second book!
Tails: *picks up his Miles Electric* Jeez!

"Which I am reading now." She nodded her head once, as if agreeing with herself on this statement, and buried her petite little nose (the same as mine) once more in its pages.

All: We know that you two are twins!
Leah: *shakes her head, gives Kyo a beer*
Kyo: *sighs, opens the bottle* Hey, thanks. This beer's probably more interesting than that piece of crap, anyway.

I was saved from having to deliver some sassy comeback, which I didn't really have,

Mai: *as Marielle* ...because no matter how hard I tried, I was going to sound like an ass.

when at that moment the bus came pulling around the corner and down our street. I couldn't help the smirk that stretched its way across my lips as my sister gave an aggravated sigh and snapped the book shut before carefully placing it inside her book bag.

Leah: *as Marielle* But before that, she beat the crap out of me with the book. I don't know what I did to deserve that, because I'm too stupid to use my only working brain cell.

Black; like the rest of her.

Tails: Does that mean that her skin is literally black, too? Did someone set her on fire when we weren't looking?
Kyo: Wasn't me.

She boarded first and I turned to wave at dad through the window before stepping on. The wave went unnoticed as by this point the morning business call had turned into an all out screaming match over the phone, the piece of toast upturned and forgotten on the wood floors. Lupe was not going to like that.

Kyo: And the Sue won't, either. How dare her dad not notice her wonderful Miss America wave!

Maria and I took our usual spots in the back of the bus where my friend Sakura was waiting for us.

Miyu: *facepalms* There are no words.
Kyo, Leah: *calmly drinks their beers*

Maria had her own friends, both in and outside of school, but they didn't take the bus, preferring to either walk or carpool. I didn't really like Maria's friends and she didn't like any of mine

Mai: *as Marielle* ...because my friends were probably selfish and whiny, too!

but Sakura was the one person at Evewood High that we both could get along with. I guess she was our mutual friend. Just one more thing we had learned to share as sisters.

Leah: That's gonna suck if they have to share a boyfriend. *grimaces* Damn it.

Sakura smiled and waved to us the as soon as we had stepped on the bus, earning her a mild glare from the bus driver, a portly women in his late forties

All: Wait, what?!
Kyo: *confused* Uh... does that mean that...
Miyu: Please don't finish the question, Mr. Kusanagi.

with short, messy brown hair, a nose to big for her face, and a massive burn scar on the right side of her face.

Tails: *sarcastically* Because all large people are incredibly ugly. Wonderful message to send to the children there.
Mai: But aren't you a child, Tails?
Tails: Then, um... pretend that I'm not saying that.

How she got it I have no idea, I'd never the nerve to ask and didn't know anyone who had.

Leah: Maybe it's because she doesn't want to talk about it! What a thought!

There were plenty of stories and wild speculations but no way of knowing if any of them were even a little true.

Kyo: She probably ate brats like you for breakfast. That could be very true.

No one had ever had the nerve to ask and I wasn't going to be the first. Her name was Ms. Crunch, she drove the bus to school every morning, Monday through Friday, and if you minded your own business she would mind hers, and that was all I really needed, or cared to, know.

Mai: *sarcastically* And since she didn't enhance your perfect hourglass figure, we didn't need to care about her, either.

We sat and talked quietly together the rest of the way to school. Well…I did most of the talking actually.

All: Unfortunately.

As soon as we sat down Maria had pulled Twilight out once more and began to read quietly to herself,

Leah: Hey, she was reading "Eclipse" earlier! Where did "Twilight" come from?!
Tails: It's a shapeshifting book.
Leah: *smirks*

Sakura reading over her shoulder while nodding and making the occasional comment to everything we said. Ms. Crunch played the radio every morning, always on the same channel, Radio Disney. Mostly the students just drowned it out but this morning one of the songs caught my ear and I immediately recognized the tune.

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Was it anything related to Hell?
Mai: And what does this Sakura person look like? We don't have a description of her yet.
Tails: *draws a stick figure* She looks like this.

"This is my song!" I all but squealed in glee," Everyone shut up!" I shouted at the other students,

Kyo, Leah: *as the students* Bite our collective asses, brat!

" Ms. Crunch, can you turn the radio up for a moment? Please!"

Ms. Crunch didn't turn to me, or shrug her shoulders, or nod her head, or make any real physical sign that she had heard me aside from turning the radio up a little higher as I requested.

Mai: Oh, we're sorry that she didn't kiss your butt when she turned the volume up! *mutters* God, I hate you.

"Oh…I know this song…" Maria commented. She should know it, I played it all the time at home, though mostly on my iPod.

All: So why do you have to listen to it again?!

"What? What is it?" Sakura asked, tearing her eyes away from the pages for a moment to look between the two of us quizzically.

Kyo: It's a piece of sh... *remembers that Tails is sitting* ...oddy work.

"It's my favorite song in the whole wide fucking world! Love Story by Taylor Swift!"

Mai: *flatly* Oh, wonderful. We have a title drop.
Leah: I have a sudden urge to vomit right now.

I said happily as I began to dance in my seat along with the music. I was soon joined by Sakura and actually got up out of her seat to dance before a silent glare from Ms. Crunch had her ass back in the seat but still shaking to the song.

Tails: What's there to shake, really?
Miyu: Nothing... because she's probably having a seizure or something.

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony in summer air

Miyu: So... where's the story?
Mai: It's dead. Common sense, character development, and likable characters are dead, too.

See the lights
See the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
And say hello, little did I know

Kyo: I know I'm going to pass out in a minute. Screw this.

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don't go, and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

Leah: And then she breaks up with him in a few months and writes a song that bashes him. Now that's a true love story.

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while

'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
But you were everything to me
I was begging you please don't go and I said

Tails: ...end this nonsense...?

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story baby just say yes
Oh oh

All: *singing* Oh... oh... no!

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* My faith in this fic is fading, too.
Kyo: My faith's already gone, Glasses.

When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

All: ...that you should end this!

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

Kyo: *takes a swig of beer* You know... that ring wasn't meant for her finger.
Leah: *snickers* You're a jerk.

And said, marry me Juliet
You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It's a love story baby just say yes

Tails: If I remember correctly... didn't Romeo and Juliet... die at the end of the story?
Kyo: *sarcastically* But it's a love story, Tails! We obviously must forget the end! *bluntly* It's also because most of us are too stupid to comprehend basic crap.

Oh, oh, oh, oh
'Cause we were both young when I first saw you

Soon the other students joined in and the whole bus was rocking out to the music. Everyone except Maria….typical!

Mai: That's because she's been around you for so long, she became immune to your puppetry. *mutters* I hate this piece of pond scum.
Miyu: Hey, pond scum is a lot more useful than she is.
Mai: That's true.

Love Story © SONY/ATV SONGS D/B/A TREE PUBG CO; TAYLOR SWIFT PUB DESIGNEE

Tails: What the... why did she have to put the copyright in?
Mai: So she wouldn't be sued, I guess.
Leah: I'm suing her, anyway. My eyes are nearly bleeding.

Twilight series © Stephanie Meyer (PRAISE HER!)

Miyu: Um... it's Stephenie.
Kyo: I'm not praising that... *notices Tails* ...never mind.
Leah: I kinda have to praise her. I mean... I wouldn't exist without her.
Kyo: I feel sorry for you.
Leah: *shrugs* Eh. I'm pretty much over it nowadays. Don't worry about it.

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