Mystery Science Theater En Masse
Five Riffers, Episode 2: Street Fighter: No Time 4 Love (Part Three)
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5. Heartbroke
Soon was match.
Kyo: Cavemen make fire.
Keiko: You've looked in the mirror, right?
Kyo: Shut up before I roast you along with this fic.
"who gonna fight this tiem?" blanka was stand in parking lot. "im sory sir" sed ken, "u cant park ur hummer here hahahaha"
Amy: *throws her hammer at the screen*
Keiko, Juniper, Julia: What the heck?!
Kyo: What the hell, Piko?!
Amy: *bluntly* My hand slipped.
dat made blanak mad cuz he wuz juts called a hummer!
Julia: *removes her dunce cap* Yes, we can see that, Stephenie Meyer.
"u tink ur so funy?" he yeld. "ya im hilarius" ked sed back with laugsh.
Keiko: You're as hilarious as a yeast infection.
jtus then blankc riase fish and pucnh kebn in head and started a fight!
Juniper: He punched Ken with a fish? Y'know, I was thinking about having some salmon earlier...
Ryu saw from distance and uewwas upset beicaise that woule never habppend in his contry.
Kyo: *mocks the fic* It would never happen in his country. *normal voice* Give me a break.
Kenn and B Lnaka were fight. blanka do electrical!
Juniper: Juniper be confused!
Ken started fighting with fists and puccnhed and did hadeoken and shoryuklen. They stop fighbting.
Julia: *rolls her eyes* Thrilling.
"grr i dont ened 2 watse my eneryg on u" sed blancka 2 ken.
Keiko: That's actually one of the smartest things that anyone has said so far.
"ur mom didnt have a probelm with it!" Yeleld Ken with a little laughing. Juts then Blsaka throw punch right 2 Kens face and ken go fly back and was uncopsiouce.
Amy: Not only was I happy, my brain split in half thanks to the mangled English!
Dusjk wan over to Ken and look at Balnka with sad but then say "he probably diserved it lol" and blanka say "ya he rly did" then they both kindof laugh altitle but Ken said urrhgh and was hurt in face and dusk and blacna stop laugh... then laugh again ha hah ah!
Julia: What the heck is going on?
Amy: Ken cloned himself, probably.
Kyo: Oh, god! We don't need another one of him!
the sun was seting a little for the first tiem toady.
Juniper: Hey, I'm not a toad! You cut that out!
In stadieum was Sagat and Dhalsim. Dush was not watch.
Amy: Dush?
Keiko: Douche.
Amy: *attempting to keep a straight face* Keiko! Now you know that's not what
she is--
Keiko: Don't lie, Amy; that's exactly what she is.
Julia: Well, to be honest, I'm actually amazed that Dhalsim's name was spelled correctly.
insted Dusk was go over towars parking ,ot to heopl Ken but instead saw Abel again uybder bridge and go there.
Kyo: Oh, so he returned home?
Amy: Mr. Kusanagi!
Kyo: *raises his hands slightly* Sor-ry!
"Abel" she shouted 2 him. "oh hi DUsk" said abel quietl. Dusk was run over 2 him and when got there she hugged abel cuz he lokd sad. Abel was allmost cry too but then hug Dusk back and both smiel. "wil u cum back 2 da dojo witrh us so we can practive fight?" asked Dusk 2 abel. Abel gert beig smiel and say sure. So they went.
Juniper: What's next? Ken dies of an overdose of laughing gas?
Kyo: I hope so.
Along way was stop to get ramen. Abel and Dusk was eat ramen when Dusk say "dis brings back memeories."
Julia: I thought that she had no memories. What is this?
and Abel look at her confuse.
Kyo: Huh. Sounds like he just mirrored the audience.
"I used 2 liev in japaen and I remmembr da taxete of ramen soup." den abel was smiel and they eat stoup and pay ant them elave to go to djoo it was dark now.
Amy: *woodenly* Thrilling.
From the dark u coud see da staars and moon adn lights frim da buildigns wrer lighjt up.
Juniper: Nah, we would've never found out that it was night! Thanks for holding my hand!
At dojoj there was lgith from garden dat leave up 2 da dopjo pourch.
Kyo: Am I drunk?
Keiko: Then that fic would be a lot more illegible than it already is.
Kyo: I don't know how that could even be possible.
When were wlaking up tah steps 2 dojo Dusk yawn and say "maybe it 2 late 2 ttairn. U want 2 sleep ere 2night?" abek say ok.
When they open doro there was el Fuerte who had making food and was Ken and Ryu and they were sueprised 2 see Dusk and BaBEL COEM IN THE ROOM.
Amy: Well, this fic needs a Babel Fish.
Juniper: Yeah... about that fish... I ate it.
Amy: So that's why the fic looks like that.
E; Fierte put food down and hive hug 2 Dusk and say "wehre were u?" dusk say "was eating ramen with Aebel" abel wave and smuijeol as to make frinds. El Fuerte saw and step back and was confuse and agrny a little at saem time. "o so this is ur new boyfiend huh" say el Fuerte. Ken lauigh with mouth full of food ryU WOULD NEVER DO THAT IN HIS CONTRY THAT'S FROWNED UPON HIGHLY.
Kyo: Oh, shut up, fic...
Dusk face turn red of angry and say quiet "hes NOT mi bf…"
"oh so hes juts some ranodm perosn dat u hagn out with a lto and huyg and reat out with?" say el Fuerte a little angry.
Juniper: Yeah, how dare she have friends! Who are you, Edward Cullen? Christian Jerkbag Grey?
"its ntone of ur busines who I hang out with ur NOT mi dad!" Dusk yell. "IM GALD IM NOT UR DAD, HWO WOULD WANT 2 RAISE A TRAMP?" he yeldld with fierce and extreme!
Keiko: Hey, she's not a tramp! She's an unoriginal character! There's a difference!
After that dusk was furious and wasa hold back tears and storm out da dojo adn go 2 pond cross Fuerte was upset and agnru at same time and go 2 soemwhereelse 2 be lone.
Julia: *tries to play a tiny violin* I'm trying not to break this thing...
Ken was still eat and Ryu was confuse and so was Abel but Abel knew wat had 2 do and so Abel went 0out 2 run aft5er Dusk who was run way from trubles but couldn't forever.
Kyo: Nah, keep running forever. Nobody's going to miss you.
When Abel was cought up 2 Dusk he say "dusk r u ok?"but dusk was cry and angry and didn't want 2 talk to anywone and just sit at pond cryigne.
Amy: She'll probably fill the pond up with her tears.
Abel was little confuse and was rly sad at Dusk sad buyt didn't no if wanted 2 be left lone or juts needed sum1 2 talk 2 so he asesd if she wantd 2 talk about it but she shook her hed 2 say no den dey got quiret den ask if she need hug and dusk nod head so abel sit down ansd hug her ands she was cry on his shoudler and Abel ws hooeld her tighet and was a;,ost cry.
All: Huh?
Julia: *deadpan* Well. That was incredibly heartwarming.
Da moen was refelct in pond of wter with riplles and koi fishe. Could hear crickets and sum bird chirpsings but not a lot of noise but tres rustel and wind and leaves.
Kyo: That was the most broken prose I've ever seen in my life!
"y did he say dos mean thisn…?" aks Dysk with lots of sad,.
Juniper: Can you repeat that? I need to type it into this translator. See, it's set from "Badfic" to "English".
Abel was quiet for thinking. "I thinke he likes u." eh finaly sed. "mayebe he thot we were dating and he got mad?" den dusk had make sense!
Keiko: *rolls her eyes* We already knew that.
After dusk was sad cuz she realsode wat was was wrong with e Fuerte and cry.
Amy: Yep. That pond will be overflowing in no time... and she'll probably drown the whole world while we're at it.
"abeo im so stupid! Im dorty I made it look like we ere dating, dat would never happen were JUTS frends and I need 2 tell el fruetre dat right now,. Ty 4 listening abel, god night."
Kyo: And Godspeed.
den dask get up and make way back to dojo. She didn't know dat wut she said made abel rly sad in heart cuz he liked her a little but she sed dey would never be together so he was the sad forrest of night.
Juniper: He was a sad forest?
Julia: Oh, great. We just had to have a stupid love triangle in
this thing.
Kyo: At least it's almost over, Coordinator.
Julia: Oh, thank goodness.
Dusk was come home 2 dojo was everyone asleep! Dusk was go in other room and saw EL FUERTe look like sleep then when dusk klay down 2 el Fuerte he turn round saw he and was full wake and say "y u doin here" and she say sorry 4 da misconfusion me and abel will nerv b dating evre were just frends.
Amy: That would've been nice if the characters were speaking for
more than that one line!
Juniper: Wow. I'm guessing that the author was bored of writing this
thing.
Keiko: Good. I was getting bored of riffing it.
El Fuerte smile little and was turn over and hug Dusk ands Dusk hug back and dey look in the eye and want 2 kiss but didtnt so were cuddle rest of ngiht and was happy but not Abel who was heartbroke.
Julia: Yeah, thanks for the title drop.
Kyo: *confused* Ladies... what the hell did I just read here?
Keiko: *shrugs* I stopped caring long ago, Kusanagi.
Amy: Well! *gets up, stretches* Looks like I'll order lunch here.
Kyo: Mmm. *points at the shattered screen* You also might want to repair
that screen while you're at it, Piko.
Amy: Oh, that's okay, we have replacements.
Julia: *raises an eyebrow*
Juniper: Replacements?
Amy: Yep! We figured that if Mary Sues and Gary Stus can defy logic, us
riffers can do the same.
Kyo: Yeah... nice ass pull there, Piko.
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