Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Egg Spiral Crew, Episode 15: Sailor Sun (Part Three)

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Chapter 5

"Wow, thanks a bunch!" said the mysterious man in a tuxedo, a cape, a top hat and white glasses.

Amy: He's not mysterious if everyone knows who he is. We already know it's Tuxedo Mask.

"I need to get home fast, my dad's coming back from Ireland!" said Ana as she transformed back and ran home. Everyone transformed back and they all had headaches.

Sonic: Wait. The Sue gave them headaches?
Sonia: With the way this fic is going, I'm surprised that we don't have any yet.
Tails: Now we're back in the third person. What is happening here?
Amy: Inconsistencies.

"I feel sorry for that girl," said Darien, "In our past life she was neglected, even we never paid attention when we should have because her planet was the most powerful." Everyone looked sad and they all felt sorry for her.

Manic: Wait, they were supposed to kiss her butt because she was stronger than all of them combined?
Amy: Now I have a headache.
Tails: *rubs his forehead* Yeah, me too.

At the Negaverse:
"I need to defeat that girl!" screamed Veronica.
A monster named Emerald came in and asked her if she could go.
"Try to trap that Sailor Sun girl so we can turn her evil," said Veronica evilly.

Sonic: *snickers* Yeah, that plan isn't gonna fail at all!
Amy: Emerald's a monster? Are we talking about the same Emerald from the Black Moon... I mean, Negamoon arc?
Tails: Negamoon?
Amy: Hey, it's the dub, so I'm using dub terms here.
Sonia: I actually have no idea.

At Ana's house:
Ana checked the answering machine, her corvette was ready and her father was going to be late. Ana got on her skateboard and rushed over to the shop. She picked up her car and when she was driving home she passed a girl that had brown hair down to her shoulders, green eyes, about as tall as her, and her hair had golden streaks in it too. Ana got good but strange vibes from her. She hurried home and saw her mom eating leftovers from the night before.

Manic: *flatly* This is the most thrilling paragraph that I've ever read.
Sonic: Great, now the Sue cloned herself?
Tails: We don't need clones of cardboard boxes, Sonic.

"Where were you?" asked Ana's mom.
"I had to pick up my car from the shop," said Ana
"Go to sleep, its almost 10." demanded Ana's mom.

Manic: Okay, what shop is even open that late?
Tails: Aside from mine?
Manic: At least you close up before ten. And Rory's workstation is usually open until about... seven?
Sonia: Six.
Manic: Oh.

Ana went up stairs and went to bed. She had a vision that she was taken by her mom but before they were transported the other scouts arrived, a girl in a black skirt with stars on it, she had a navy blue bow and a black heart shaped pendant, she had a long black bow in the back, and she had a gold tiara with what looked like the universe. She was a scout, she combined her powers with hers and they damaged her mom. Ana woke up in a cold sweat. When she was up Veronica was planned to turn a woman named Samantha (Ana's mom) into a monster and capture Sailor Sun.

Amy: Great. Another plot point arrived.
Tails: What's the point of this story if she's just going to dream the entire thing? Where's the suspense?
Sonic: I'm sorry, what? You wanted a story, Tails?
Tails: Yes, I would like a story.
Sonic: Then take a number and get in line.

Ana went back to sleep and in an hour she woke up and left for school.

Manic: *woodenly* Oh, I can't wait to see how this will turn out.

Chapter 6

"Hi Ana!" said Serena as she was running to school.
"Why are you running?" questioned Ana.
"Aren't we late?" said Serena with a questioned look.
"No, today school starts 45 min. later that usually," said Ana.

Sonia: Japanese schools have late start days...?
Amy: Maybe some of them do. Then again, this is probably there for plot convenience.
Tails: This whole fic is a big ball of it!

The girl that Ana passed last night was ahead of them a little so Ana and Serena cached up to her and said hello. Luna was behind them spying when she had weird vibes from that girl.

Manic: Oh, great. It's the clone Sue from the original Sue's dream.
Sonic: Might as well just have the Sue dream for the rest of this fic.

"Are you new to the school, I am" said Ana smiling.
"Yeah, I am. My name is Amber," said Amber happily.
Luna jumped onto Amber's shoulder and gave her a transformation stick with the universe on it.

Amy: So Mary Sues own the universe. *throws her hands up* Well, we're doomed!

Amber then said, "what is this?"
"It's a transformation stick. Yell out Universe make up when you're in trouble," said Luna.
"A talking cat? Now I've seen everything," said Amber surprisingly.

Manic: That wasn't surprise. And how the hell did she just brush that off?
Sonia: You're expecting that bland robot to show emotion, Manic.

They got to they're school and went to they're classes.

Tails: *eyebrow twitches* It's... "their".
Sonic: That's it?
Tails: Yep. That's the whole chapter.
Sonic: That's... not a chapter.
Sonia: James Patterson wrote longer chapters.

Chapter 7

At the temple:
Ana escorted Amber to the temple and told her everything about the scouts and they're pasts. When they arrived they were transported to the moon. They transformed and joined the others in the arena. Sailor Saturn was attacking Sailor Sun while Sailor Universe was attacking Sailor Uranus.

Tails: *bored* This is thrilling.
Amy: We didn't need details, Tails.
Tails: Or a proper plot.

At the Negaverse:
Veronica sent Emerald to transform Samantha into a monster. In a second Samantha was working for the Negaverse.

Sonia: I guess the head writer shouldn't have to beat herself up about narration in her own fics now.

On the moon:
"Another day, another hole in the wall," said Ana.
"Wow, that was intense," said Amber.

Manic: Yeah, nothing's more intense than reading a big hunk of nothin'.
Sonic: *snickers*

They transformed back and were transported to their homes. Ana went to pick up her dad at the airport and drove him home.

Sonic: I didn't write this fic, I swear.

"I got you something, their Sailor Moon dolls," said Ana's dad. "I got Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars, Sailor Jupiter, Sailor Venus, Sailor Saturn, Sailor Neptune, Sailor Uranus, Sailor Pluto, and

Sonia: ...that was a giant waste of text.
Amy: How could you say that in a fic that barely has any text?

when my flight was canceled I noticed that there was a new sailor scout, Sailor Sun. So I got her for you."

Ana's dad showed her and Ana was surprised that there was a doll that was based on her.

Tails: Even though she only transformed once or twice.

Ana and her dad arrived at their house and they noticed that Ana's mom was home early. Ana took her dolls up to her room and placed them on her rack, but she placed the Sailor Sun doll on her bed.

Sonic: Is this that weird form of vanity that we haven't explored yet?

Ana's mom asked if she could see her. Ana called the scouts over to her house quick and bring the new scout. Come transformed she said quickly.

Manic: So her Mary Sue psychic powers just nullify any sort of conflict, huh?
Amy: Man, this story's really boring. Where's the struggle? Where's the character development?
Sonic: Take a number, Ames.

Ana walked down stairs and asked her mom what was up. Her mom asked if she new Sailor Sun. Ana said yes and her mom

Sonia: ...immediately killed her.
Tails: That probably would've happened if this fic was written properly.

made her go get her quickly. Ana stepped out side, went into an alley and transformed into Sailor Sun. She got ready and stepped in to face destiny.

Sonic: Wait, she lives next door to an alleyway?
Sonia: She probably should've saved all the women that were trapped in there.
Sonic: No, Kyo and Jin are already on it.
Tails: Don't forget Batman.
Sonic: And those warped versions of Silver and myself.

"Hello?" said Ana nervously.

Ana's mom jumped behind her and took her into a room. Just before they transported to the Negaverse, The scouts arrived.

Amy: *flatly* That was suspenseful.

Sailor Sun stepped on her mom's foot and was unleashed.

All: *confused*
Manic: Not gonna try to figure that one out.

Sailor Universe and Sailor Sun combined they're powers and did enough harm to her mom that she was weakened. Sailor Moon quickly healed Sailor Sun's mom. The scouts left but something strange happened.

Amy: You're just figuring out that something strange has happened?

Ana became dizzy and fainted. The scouts hurried her to a hospital where she was taken to the emergency room.

Tails: And then she was wheeled into emergency surgery, where a doctor left a scalpel in her body.
Sonia: Your imagination's getting pretty vivid, Tails.

Chapter 8

Meanwhile the sailor knights

All: *confused* Who?!
Manic: Nah, we don't need explanations or nothin'! Just ploppin' them in the middle of the fic'll do!

came back from their vacation and noticed a man that was tall, he had brown golden hair, brown eyes, and was wearing a gold suit. It looked like he was waiting for a cab.

Sonic: Probably so he can blend in with it.

" Need a ride?" said Ken?

Tails: Great, now the narration isn't sure of itself.

"Yeah, that would be great," said the strange man.
"What's your name? asked Gary.
"Josh," said Josh "I'm looking for this girl." Josh showed them a picture of Ana in her past life.

All: *confused* How?!
Amy: How in the world does he have a picture of her when she was on the Sun?!
Sonia: Now we have Plot Device Polaroids.

"She's a looker," said Chad with his eyes wide opened, "But, I have a great girlfriend."

Sonic: Of course she's so attractive that random guys love her.

" Good, I don't want you to hit on her or anything. I'm her, well, err, um, never mind." said Josh.

I can't tell them that I'm Sun knight! Back on the sun Ana and I were a couple. I can't tell them that. They might not remember that they're knights as well.

Tails: Exposition? What's that? We didn't need that!
Sonia: "Don't hit on her, she's mine." Oh, boy... yet another story that didn't age well...
Manic: Wow, this chapter was really short, huh?
Amy: *nods* Short enough for us to riff another chapter before a break.

Chapter 9

At the hospital:
"Is she going to be okay?" asked Lita.
"She lost a lot of energy and needs rest," said the doctor. "She'll need to be in bed for awhile. I'm afraid that she'll miss a week of school."
The scouts were feeling a little better but still worried.
"She's sleeping right now, you can visit her when she wakes up." said the doctor.
While Ana was sleeping she had a vision of her past life. She dreamed that she was at a party on the beautiful planet Neptune.

Amy: I thought that her past self didn't go to parties.
Tails: Why are you looking for consistency in this fic, Amy?
Amy: *shrugs*

It was Michelle's birthday and she invited all of the princess's from all the planets.

Tails: I don't think the Gregorian calendar existed back then...
Amy: And now why are you looking for consistency, Tails?
Tails: *shrugs*

The ballroom had a beautiful blue marble floor and on the ceiling there was a beautiful painting of the ocean. The windows had balcony's that over looked the ocean horizon. There was a perfect view of the night sky with all the stars, moons, and planets. She found herself in a gold dress that was similar to Princess Mercury's.

Sonic: Which showed off her curves! *laughs*

"Come on Ana, get into the party!" said Princess Serena from the moon.
"I just want to be alone for a while," said Ana with a sad look on her face.

Amy: Start breaking out the tiny violins, folks.

Princess Serena walked away to dance with Prince Darien from Earth. Ana then walked on the balcony and watched the night sky. She thought about if the Princesses from the other planets hated her or something. She was always neglected. She leaves in the middle of things and people don't even notice.

Sonia: *begins playing on the tiny violin*
Manic: Wait, what? They just invited her to join the party, and she declined. Now she's mopin' around like that?
Sonia: Sue wangst, Manic.

"Excuse me miss, are you going home know?" said a mysterious man.
Ana turned around and found her boyfriend Josh.

Tails: Character interactions? What're those?

Ana smiled, but then shuddered.
"Here take me coat." offered Josh.

Manic: Aye!
Sonic: Pfft...

"No thanks, I'm independent, I'll be fine," said Ana a little mad.

Amy: *makes a face*
Sonia: *facepalms*
Manic: Grrrl Powah!
Sonic: Oh, I haven't heard that from you in a while.
Tails: Wait, there were coats in the Silver Millenium?
Amy: *frowns* Scene breaks and transistions don't exist.

She then walked in side and joined the others. Ana then woke up in the dress that she was in her dream. The scouts walked in and saw her in her dress. They were all surprised and then she was back in her hospital gown.

All: *flatly* What.
Sonic: Sounds more like that fell out of a ghost movie, not "Sailor Moon".
Tails: Maybe she is a ghost.
Sonia: We should call Miyu for an exorcism, then.

In Ken's Car:
Josh was sitting in the car reviewing his visions.

Manic: Does that vision get a thumbs up?
Sonic: Yes. It gets a thumb right up my own nose.

"So, what's with you and this girl?" asked Greg.
"We were a couple," said Josh nervously.

Manic: "Were"? The narration just said that you're her boyfriend!
Amy: That was in the past, Manic. Transistions don't exist in this fic, so that tripped you up.
Manic: They're just going to get together regardless.
Amy: Well, you're right. It is a Sailor Moon fic.

All the sudden the cell phone rang.
"Hello, What, she's at the hospital, we'll be there," said Chad. "Go to the hospital, Ana's there."

Sonic: Help me out here. Who the heck are these guys that're hanging around this Josh dude?
Amy: Ken's a friend of Lita's. Greg is a friend of Amy's, and Chad is a guy who works at the Cherry Hill Temple. He has a crush on Raye.
Sonic: Huh. You sure they're the same guys and not meat puppets named Ken, Greg, and Chad?
Amy: Considering this fic... I have no idea.

The boys went to the hospital and met the girls there. The girls took the guys to Ana where she was awake and laying up in bed.
"So, this is Ana, huh," said Chad, "This is that girl from your picture that you showed us."
Josh and Ana were surprised to see each other. Ana snapped out of her trans and rested.

Sonia: *flatly* This is the most gripping thing that I've ever read.
Tails: *confused* She snapped out of her transmission?
Sonia: *smirks* Trance, Tails.

At the Negaverse:
"Now there's another scout!" yelled Veronica. "I'll trap them all and kill them all!" said Veronica wickedly.
"Do you want me to go miss?" said a servant named Trish.

Tails: Go miss what? What are you missing?
Manic: Great. Commas're going on strike again.

"Yes go in a week, I'm tired, good night." yawned Veronica.
Veronica then went to sleep and started to snore. Trish was disappointed and annoyed by Veronica's snoring.

Sonia, Manic, Amy, Tails: *puzzled*
Sonic: *laughs loudly*
Amy: I know you're not laughing because it's funny.
Sonic: You're right, it isn't funny. This is awful!
Tails: Does that mean that evil... snores?
Sonia: Indeed. Evil also mixes white with red clothing in the hot wash, too.

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