Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Egg Spiral Crew, Episode 16: Thanksgiving! (Part One)

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Note: This fic is the sequel to KRZR24's "The New Girl". If you need to remember why Sonic, Amy, and Tails hated that fic and Sasha so much, read it here. The riffing to the prequel has twelve torturous parts.

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1. Introduction

THANKSGIVING IS NEAR, IT'S TIME FOR CHEER!!!!!!!!!!! AND TURKEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND EGG NOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND STUFFING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND OTHER ASSORTED FOODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND MY NEXT STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S BEGIN!!

Amy: *pulls out her Piko Piko Hammer*
Sonic: Okay, Amy? Put your death weapon away, please. I know that I hate that Sue's guts, too, but it's a little soon to start whacking.
Amy: No, it isn't.
Manic: Sis? Why are we here?
Sonia: They wanted our help. The Suethor pulled the old "Don't like, don't read!" card on them at the end of the last fic.
Tails: *sighs* We're so sorry, you two.
Manic: Hey, it's not your fault, Tails. Don't feel bad about it.

Amy Rose's plans for Thanksgiving were simple: because of what happened the previous summer,

Sonic: Oh, you mean the incident where the Sue owned herself?
Tails: Don't forget the fact that it was somehow Silver's fault because the Sue wouldn't wait for a whole darn syllable.

Sasha Rose was not going to come to Amy's house, but instead, Amy would be going over to Sasha to stay with the family. Normally, Sasha would go over to Amy's house, and they would spend the day out with Sasha's family. They would rent out a hotel (yes, the whole thing),

Amy: Well, money can't buy class, after all.

and then they would have Thanksgiving dinner at a large family gathering. However, Sasha manged to convince her parents that they should host Thanksgiving at their house this year, and her parents agreed.

Manic: I'm stealing everything.

Unlike most Thanksgivings, Amy was semi-reluctant to leave her little home. Why? Because for the first time in her life, Sonic the hedgehog was actually hers!! Over the summer, through Sasha's devious planning,

Sonic: ...which caused her to own herself!
Sonia: She was certainly not devious. Did she forget that her nonsense put that fic's version of Sonic in the hospital and caused her own little brother to get beaten up? Not to mention the felonies that she had committed?
Manic: But she's devious, Sis!
Sonia: *scoffs* Oh, please. She's so dense that she would cover herself up in her own shallow grave. She'd confuse the dirt for a natural face mask.

Amy managed to get Sonic not only to admit his feelings for her, but to also take her out on a date!!! And unlike the previous so called "dates" the couple had, this time, Sonic actually showed up. Sonic took Amy to a multitude of places, from Twinkle Park, to an unknown beach, to the Mystic Ruins, and an assortment of other places.

Even so, however, she had yet to receive another kiss from her beloved hero. Surely one would assume that after FOUR MONTHS, they would be able to share more than one kiss?

Sonic: Just fast forward a whole year and have random talks about kids after some useless infertility "drama".
Tails: Wait, what?
Sonic: *scratches the back of his head* Akiko told me about it. Heh.

Nevertheless, Eggman had been up to his rotten plans again, and it was Sonic's duty as Mobius's hero to fight him. It took him all around the world, and back, but not surprisingly, Eggman was defeated every time. Now that Eggman decided to spend Thanksgiving with his ailing grandmother, one would expect that the couple would have more time together.

Wrong. The press was after Sonic like greyhounds, and they refused to let up even for a moment. Sonic, unwilling to let Eggman know of his relationship to the sakura hedgehog,

All: *flatly* What.
Sonic: "Sakura hedgehog"? What kind of random description...

was unable to spend time with her, no matter how much he longed to. And now that they were off to spend the holiday with their relatives, Amy was on her way too. And Sonic, to afraid of Amy's cousin to go (he still had some slightly purple specs),

Tails: He had a very good reason to avoid her! She put him in the hospital over a minor mistake!
Manic: She should be in prison making big rocks into little rocks!
Sonia: Wait... did that say that he has vision issues because of that assault?
Sonic: Yikes, I hope not!

did not join her. And thus, while Amy's plans to spend the holiday were extravagant, Sonic's were to stay at home with Tails and Silver. And even Tails wasn't going to spend the day with them, because he was to help Cream and Vanilla to get ready for their feast. And even though they were invited, Sonic and Silver were still unwilling to go, due to Cream's question spree last summer (hint; What's protection).

Amy: We know. She wouldn't stop asking about it. And you wouldn't shut up about it.

Knuckles and Rouge were going to spend their week in Angel Island, Shadow and Blaze were going to New York to see the Macy's Thanksgiving parade,

All: *flatly* What.
Amy: New York... is somehow in Mobius. Macy's is somehow in Mobius. I don't understand. This does not compute.
Manic: My head is gonna snap in half.

and even the Chaotix had more interesting plans than Sonic and Silver (They were going to have dinner at Cream's house. . .with Vanilla. . .and Vector hopelessly trying to flirt with her). And considering all the parties Sonic and Silver were invited to, that's quite surprising. Sonic didn't want to go to a party for fear of Sasha being there,

Tails: That's okay. Just say that you hate "Sa", and she'll just leave!

and Silver had become more anti-social since what had happened over the summer.

Sonic: And it wasn't his fault. Seriously, it's not his fault that she's deaf, dumb, and abusive.
Sonia: I assumed that you actually meant "blind", but you're right.

So to their surprise, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, while Sonic and Silver were playing on the Xbox, the doorbell rang. And to their even greater surprise, Tails opened the door to find. . .

Sonia: ...Death. He was looking for a certain Sasha Rose and got the wrong address.

There's chapter one!! That was kind of mean of me not to add who/what was at the door waiting for them, but it was to build suspense.

Amy: *grumpy* It didn't work.
Manic: I'm so tired of these half-assed cliffhangers, man. We already know that it's the diseased Sue.

And plus, the next chapter is coming out pretty soon, so don't worry about it. And although it seems kind of unlike my style now, it gets funnier later on.

Sonic: *smiles* I'm not looking forward to it!
Tails: Wasn't the last fic supposed to be funny?
Sonic: Tails, that was a "Horror/Tragedy" fic.
Amy: "Horror" because the Sue turned out to be a sociopath, and "Tragedy" because she didn't get what she truly deserved.

So until next time (maybe later today?), here's KRZR24 signing out.

And don't forget to send in your characters for the Christmas story! I need to know soon before I start writing it out. Ciao.

Manic: Send in your recolors, folks!

Chapter 2

I'm going to go straight to the story.

Sonic: There's a story?
Sonia: No.

Tuesday:

Amy's POV

While we were planning the Thanksgiving plans, Sasha and I were talking about my relationship with Sonic. I was complaining to her about how it seemed like it was on permanent hold, when she started her "I'm-planning-something-and-it-is-not-going-to-be-good-for-anyone-except-me-MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" laugh.

Manic: And we'll laugh even harder when it backfires on her!

And just let you know, when she does that laugh, it means that she's planning something. . .wait, I just said that. Never mind.

Tails: The dumb burns. It burns like acid.

The trip to Sasha's town takes about a day, so I left my house on Monday and went on the train. However, when I got to her house, everyone but Sasha was there! And when I asked, they said that she was coming out to go on the train with me!! Major trouble much? Very.

Sonic: Don't pick her up.
Amy: Please don't.

Sasha's POV

Amy: *points her hammer at the screen* You! Come here so I can smash your tiny little brain into a pancake!
Tails: Amy, no!

Amy was going to come back immediately when she found out that I was going to her house. This is the conversation we had:

Sonic: *as his ears droop* No, please. Not another dumb and pointless conversation...
Manic: Sorry, bro. We're getting one.

Amy: I thought I was coming to your house this Thanksgiving, after. . .what happened this summer.

Sasha: You were! I was just going to spend the night at your house, and then we were going to go on the train. I guess I "forgot" to tell you about it.

Sonia: Translation: Let me be obnoxious just so you can waste your time and money again! I'm so clever!
Amy: I'm going to end her.
Sonia: I'm not going to stop you. Don't be surprised if Tails intervenes, though.

Amy: THEN I'M COMING!! YOU CAN'T STAY THERE ALL BY YOURSELF!!

Sasha: Don't worry, I'll find someone to stay with. . .

Manic: It's her parole officer. Turns out that she really was in prison for assault!

Amy: Rouge is on Angel Island with Knuckles, Blaze is in New York with Shadow to see the Macy's Thanksgiving parade live, and Cream and her mother Vanilla are having their own dinner party, and it would be rude of you to barge in. So the only people you could stay with are the. . oh.

Tails: Didn't we just go through this information dump? I'm sure that we were told this stuff like... two minutes ago.
Sonic: *bored* Hooray for padding and treating the audience like idiots.

Sasha: Exactly. See you later.

Amy: But I thought that you were angry at him!

Sasha: I decided to listen to one of the voicemails, and if everyone who called at the time was saying the same thing, then they were probably saying the truth.

Amy: Oh, now you finally listen to the voicemails!
Tails: Dummy.

So I'm basically going to make amends with him. . .and other things. . . MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Tails: Oh, no. She's going to torture him...
Sonia: Because she didn't listen and ran away? She's basically a domestic abuser. Why am I supposed to like this waste of oxygen?
Tails: You have to or you're "evil".
Sonia: Then she can go right back to her original home... Hell.

Amy: . . .

Sasha: Anyways, I'll see you later. Call me when your on the train ride back. I'll leave the Monday after.

Amy: Bye!

Manic: Bye, don't come back!
Sonic: I hope you spontaneously combust on the train!

Tails' POV

The last person I expected to see at the door was Sasha. After what happened last summer, I was kind of shocked to see her. Although I didn't know the whole story, I gathered that Sasha would not be coming back for a while.

Tails: *as himself* In fact, I was content with not seeing her for the rest of my life.

And since Amy said that she was going to Sasha's house to spend Thanksgiving, I expected that Sasha would be, well, staying there.

Even more interesting though, was Sonic's reaction to Sasha being there. . .

Sonia: She almost killed him. She put him in the hospital. Do you think he's happy to see her?

Sasha's POV

Guys are so funny.

Sonic, Manic, Tails: *glares at the screen*
Manic: I don't like you.

The moment he hears Tails start talking, Sonic asks who's at the door. I walk to where Sonic and Silver are, then say "Miss me?" Sonic screams like a high pitched girl, then promptly jumps out a CLOSED 3 inch thick window.

All: *horrified*
Sonia: That wasn't funny, you sociopath!
Amy: And now he's probably going to the hospital. Again. *pulls out her hammer* Maybe you should join him, "cousin".

Silver just stares at me with his jaw almost on the ground. Then, I turn to Tails and ask him if there's anywhere I can stay. He's laughing,

Tails: It. Wasn't. Funny.
Manic: Uh, bro? What's this fic's genre supposed to be?
Sonic: Ugh. It's "Humor". Looks like "Horror/Tragedy" is back.
Tails: Mainly the "Horror" part.

but pulls on a straight face just in time, and says that I can probably have Shadow's room. Then he starts laughing again.

Sonia: I hate these idiots.
Sonic: Now you know how I felt while I was reading the garbage prequel.

I ask, and he says that Shadow's room is RIGHT BETWEEN SONIC AND SILVER'S ROOMS!!! This Thanksgiving should be quiet fun. Claps for Sasha!!

Amy: *menacingly* I hope you die in your sleep.

Silver's POV :)

Now that I got that out, let me explain what just happened.

She came back. Not only that, she didn't try to kill me the moment she came back. And, she didn't even seem to be angry at me. Now, all I need to do is make sure I don't get killed in the upcoming days.

Sonia: *sarcastically* Romance of the ages!
Sonic: Seriously, when did "love" turn into "domestic abuse"?
Manic: Since "Fifty Shades" ruined everything.
Amy: Ugh.

After Tails took her up to her room, Sonic came in through the back door. (I find it hilarious that he's afraid to go into his own house.)

Tails: *weary* We wonder why! I hate you!

Anyways, after all THAT happened, we all went to sleep, and I was wondering about what would happen on the days to come.

Amy: I hope you die from night terrors.
Sonia: Amy, I have never seen you hate someone so much.
Manic: Well, think about it. Not only is it a bad version of Silver, it's also... Sasha.
Amy: After this, I need a vaccine for Hepatitis S.

Preview of next chapter:

Wednesday

Sasha was very worried. She had been to the houses of many guys, and in their rooms, it was anything but clean. And Sasha had serious OCD.

Manic: Is that supposed to go with your random anorexia?
Sonic, Amy, Tails: *groans*

Everything had to be organized perfectly, or else she would spend as much time necessary to clean it up.

Sonic: Because guys are always messy, hur hur!
Sonia: I forgot that this trash placed gender stereotypes on everyone...

Shadow's room was relatively clean, enough so that Sasha could live with. The bathroom however. . .

Amy: ...she choked to death after inhaling an incredibly pungent smell. Shadow was hailed as a hero of Mobius for it.
Tails: By the way, that preview isn't in the next chapter at all.
Sonic: *facepalms* Then it's not a preview. It's just... there.
Sonia: ...I am this close to calling this Suethor a hack.
Manic: You just did.
Sonia: Shut up, Manic.

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