Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Egg Spiral Crew, Episode 9: A Rare Chance In Life (Part Three)

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Kaori laid on the bed looking at the ceiling

Manic: And on the ceiling were the words "Go Away!"

~* A Rare Chance In life *~ Chapter 3 [ Kyo = King Of Fighters. But Kyo doesn't = Great Brain Power ]

Sonia: And as stated earlier, this fic ≠ good.
Emi: Oh, great. Now Master Kyo's going to be dragged through the mud?
Manic: I guess it was going to happen... unfortunately.

Kaori laid on the bed looking at the ceiling. Dressed in her `Shit Happens' jumper,

Sonic: Oh, shit happened, all right.
Manic: As if we didn't have enough "Grrrl Powah!", we needed to know that her clothes are "badass".
Emi: Ugh.

she turned to look at Barb, who was reading a book whilst fiddling her ruby ring.

"Ah, I can tell you're nervous. Whatcha readin?"

"It's the KOF 2001 guide. I found it in the back pack."

Sonia: *rubs her head* Oh, Jesus.
Sonic: If I hear one more stupid thing, I'm getting out of here.

Kaori looked confused.

"How can you get nervous from reading that."

Manic: Yeah, learning how to do a quarter circle motion gives me the chills all the time.

"Well, it says here, that the host this year is anonymous…"

"N.E.S.T.S."

Emi: Then it's not anonymous any more, right? Besides, they yelled it out and everything that year.

"I don't know…"

"C'mon Barb! Who else would hold a KOF tournament besides them?"

Sonic: Rugal?
Sonia: Chizuru?
Manic: The Satella News Network?

"But have you considered the fact that N.E.S.T.S. doesn't have any purpose to host a KOF tournament anymore? K' is not even the main character this year and he has found his sister, what would nest want to hold a KOF tournament anyway?"

"Hmmm…. Good point."

Manic: Okay, this hand holding's getting on my last nerve thread.
Sonia: Never mind that the hand holding's leading you off of a cliff.

"OK! Let's all just forget about the host thing and start looking for team mates."

Sonia: If this is a dream match, can we have Rugal dispose of them before they hit the stage?
Emi: Oh, that's one wish you'd ask Satan for. At least he'd be a lot more forgiving.

"Ah, have ya read the back page?"

Barb flipped the book to the back page.

`There is no need to find teammates. 2 or 3 people teams or single entries are acceptable.'

Manic: Hey, maybe the back page of that guide has tonight's winning lottery numbers, too!

Barb frowned.

"Guess there is no need for team mates now."

"Yeah."

Sonia: *rolls her eyes* I wonder what other ass pulls we'll encounter along the way.

"Do you want to go out for a walk? I hate this dump. Might as well get some fresh air."

"Alright."

Sonic: *as Kaori* So, Barb... what do you want to do?
Emi: *giggling while controlling a marionette* I don't know, whatever you want to do. I have no backbone, you see.
Sonic: *raises an eyebrow* You're really enjoying that thing, aren't you?
Emi: *laughs* It amuses me, Mr. Sonic.
Sonic: *scratches his head* Well, you can just call me "Sonic"... but... okay.

~Down town of Southtown~

Sonia: Which is another town, I think.

Barb and Kaori walked down the road. They observed everything closely again. Buildings wrecked and are falling apart. Actually, everything was falling apart.

Manic: And this fic fell apart a long time ago.

Kaori shook her head.

"To think that the great Kyo Kusanagi and the rest of the hero's team came from this dump. I can tell why Benimaru came from this place, but Kyo and Goro? I would never of imagined."

Sonia: *facepalms* Oh, for heaven's sake.
Sonic: *smacks his head, gets up* And with that incredibly inaccurate statement, I'm out of here. Hey, replacement! You're up!
Manic: *sighs* Two down, two to go, I guess.
*After a bit of struggling, Sonic manages to yank his replacement into the living room before finally leaving.*
Kyo: Jeez, you annoying little blue gumball! I told you to drag me in when you're doing that sp--
Emi: Um... Master Kyo?
Kyo: What?!
Emi: *laughs nervously* Uh, would you like to have a seat next to Miss Hedgehog?
Sonia: *coughs, blushes a little* Oh, hello there. My name's Sonia... *gestures to Manic* and this is Manic. He's my little brother.
Manic: *waves* Yo.
Kyo: *sighs, sits down* Yeah, hi, you two. Let's get this crap over with, shall we?

"Stop being so mean to Benimaru."

"I know you like him and all, but…"

Sonia: *as Kaori* I'm entitled to act like a jerk to him and get away with it! It's my self-insert story, after all!
Manic: Grrrl Powah!

"!"

Emi: It would be nice if there were words added to that exclamation point.

Kaori, stunned, looked at Barb, who was screaming.

"What?"

Barb said nothing, but pointed her index finger in front of her.

Kaori looked at that direction and saw…

Sonia: Mothra?
Manic: Gamera?
Emi: Rodan?
Kyo: Her impending doom?

"KYO KUSANAGI!"

Kyo: *mumbles while fiddling with a rope*
Emi: Oh, boy... I think it's a little too early to attempt that, Master Kyo.
Kyo: No, it isn't.

Shocked, Kaori stood stationary, not moving a muscle.

It was indeed he great Kyo Kusanagi himself (I don't think his that great, but a legend is a legend, I HAVE to put him in here somewhere!).

Sonia: To abuse and usurp.
Manic: Jeez, I want to know who the Sue thinks is great. All she does is bash almost everyone so far.
Emi: That's what Mary Sue standards can do to you.

With his brown hair and matching brown eyes, he wore his white leather jacket and blue jeans, just like in the game.

Kyo: Well, at least the description's basic.
Sonia: It almost makes me wonder how she'd describe people that she actually likes. Almost.

Without thinking, Barb rushed up to him.

"Wait!" shouted Kaori, as she followed Barb.

Manic: And then he... or they... torched them.
Kyo: "They" is the correct term, you walking broccoli.
Manic: Manic. My name's Manic.
Kyo: *leans back in his seat* I'll remember that now.

Kyo was not surprised when the two girls came rushing to him. (Could it be that he knows of these two girls origin? Fortunate *Or unfortunate*, ones that were transported to the KOF world because it was their destiny? And why the heck am I talking so much these days?)

Sonia: I don't know, but your constant rambling's getting on my nerves.

Kyo opened his mouth to speak the words of wisdom…

Kyo: *as himself* Stay in school, you morons. Yes, that is ironic, considering that it's coming from me and all.

"Please, please! If you two want autographs, now is not a good time." (Guess not…)

Emi: When did you get Nikaido-san's arrogance again, Master Kyo?
Kyo: It was probably mixed with the flu shot that I got last week.
Sonia: So, let me get this straight... Kyo's now Benimaru, and Benimaru's a cardboard lecherous pervert?
Manic: Yep. I'd hate to see what the Sue would do to Terry if he ever showed up.

*Kaori and Barb turned super deformed with only half their eyelids open*

Manic: Hooray, we have cliché anime crap! I guess this fic wasn't fangirly enough!

"Who said anything about autographs?" said Kaori.

Kyo looked surprised this time.

"You mean… YOU TWO DON'T WANT MY AUTOGRAPHS?"

All: No duh, you idiot!
Kyo: And why the hell am "I" shouting in Southtown? What kind of sense is coming out of that?
Manic: Makes as much sense as a million dollar bill.

Barb and Kaori nodded in unison.

"Man, I thought I was really popular."

"Well, you are." Said Barb, trying to comfort him. "But we just don't want autographs right now."

Kyo looked at Kaori.

"Don't look at me. I'm a die-hard Iori fan."

Manic: Grrrl Powah!
Emi: Oh, and there's the typical Mary Sue trait for this fandom. You have to hate everyone else while having the hots for Yagami-san.
Kyo: *whistling while trying to get the rope over the ceiling fan from his seat*
Manic: *whispering to Sonia* Hey, sis... Sonic's replacement is a dark one, isn't he?
Sonia: *whispers back to Manic* It certainly looks like it, Manic. *speaking normally* Hey, Kyo?
Kyo: Before you ask me, I'm going to let you know that I'm not going to hang myself.
Sonia: Then... what are you trying to hang?
Kyo: My dignity. I might as well do it before this fic gets to it.

"Kaori!"

"What? I am!"

Emi: *as Kaori* Yes, I needed to tell the rival that useless fact to his face!
Kyo: *as himself, to Kaori* Hey, you want to know something, you horny fanbrat? I don't give a crap.

After a few minutes of comforting, the girls spoke about KOF.

Manic: What're they comforting, her hormones?

"Wha? So young! Wouldn't it be a bit to risky for you two to enter?"

All: Bao. Look at Bao.

"No." said Kaori, as she lift up her hand and a crimson then turned purple flame appeared. `Benimaru… Hentai… trying to seduce my friend… bastard…'

Emi: Kaori... Mary Sue... turning Nikaido-san into a perverted cardboard character... you know, I could do this all day, but I can't.

Kyo jumped back.

"Who the F*CK are you?"

Manic: A Mary Sue. And to find them here? Whoo, boy!

Kaori snuffed the flames and shook her index finger.

"Nonono. Who are we…?"

Kyo: *as himself* Doesn't matter, because I can take you to Hell. I'll even team up with Yagami, and we can snuff you like we did to Goenitz and Orochi.

Kaori nodded at Barb, before Barb did a `Psycho Meat Knife' (Think of it as `Psycho Sword' with a bit of variation. `Psycho Meat Knife'… I like it!) in mid air.

Kyo is now more than surprised.

Emi: What the heck?
Kyo: I don't know what the hell you're talking about, because I'm far from impressed here.
Sonia: Psycho... Meat Knife? *gets up* Oh, god, I'm done. I'm done with this piece of crap. Are you coming, Manic?
Manic: *shrugs* Nah, but you can bring my replacement in if you want. I think I can go through the rest of this thing.
Sonia: Fine, if you say so. Come on out, you two.
*Sonia now guides her own replacement along with Manic's into the living room before she leaves to join Sonic and Amy.*
Benimaru: *sits down* The nerve of those hedgehogs to keep me behind there!
Keiko: *sits down* Oh, stop whining, Nikaido. Besides, I don't know why you wanted to deal with a fic that painted you in a bad light.
Benimaru: Hey, I need to educate the masses, Keiko.
Keiko: *sighs* Whatever.

"I have nothing to say about you (meaning Kaori), but you, are you related to Athena?"

"I've got nothing to do with her. I'm not even Japanese!"

Kyo: *as Barb* I enjoy copying everyone's powers and desecrating all over Japan like my fangirl friend here, too!

"Oh… right."

Kaori stepped in.

"Are you going to answer our question?"

"Ah, I'm sorry, repeat the question again?"

Emi: Yes, and make sure that we hear it... since we didn't earlier!
Manic: Way to keep us all in the dark, man.

Kaori rolled her eyes. Out of all the heroes in KOF, why does she have to meet Kyo Kusanagi, the so-called `legend', but yet so half witted?

Keiko: And how big of a whiny brat do you have to be? Yes, I don't like him either, but you don't hear me complaining about it every single second!
Kyo: Thanks for the compliment, Tsukino gaki (brat).
Keiko: You're welcome, Kusanagi baka (fool).

"Why the hell are you back in Southtown, Mr. Champion!"

"Oh, right! Ah, I don't really know."

"God, if you are listening to me, please send a lightning bolt and kill this idiot for me!"

Benimaru: *as God* Certainly! *throws a lightning bolt, accidentally kills Kaori* Whoops. Oh, well.

"Kaori!"

"Ok Ok, I'm sorry!"

All: No, you aren't!
Emi: You jerk.

"No, not in that way. I mean, I was kind of drawn back by something."

Barb smiled.

"Yuki?"

Kyo blushed. Even though he and Yuki have been a couple for quite some time, he still gets nervous when that name is mentioned. (Talk about undying love!)

Kyo: *ignites a flame* Look here, you annoying little thing... if you don't shut up, I will seal those lips of yours together.
Manic: *cringes* Jeez, I'm glad I'm not a KOF member.

"Maybe… She's back at the Kusanagi fortress. I met up with her just then."

Keiko: *cocks her head* F... fortress?
Benimaru: *shrugs* I'm as confused as you are.

"Well, ok, that is very touching. Now can you tell me if you are entering the tournament or not?"

"Maybe."

"Yes or no."

"Yes."

Manic: Who's talking?
Emi: I have no idea, Mr. Manic.

"Thank you. That wasn't so hard, was it? Now we'll have to do some training…"

"And we would like you to train us."

Kyo: *gives the screen the bird* I already have enough of a problem with Shingo.
Emi: And...
Kyo: Are you an official character, Emi?
Emi: *twiddles her fingers* Oh. Sorry.

Kaori looked at Barb with an uncertain look.

`Damn, Kaori! I know you want Iori more, but DO bear with me! Iori's gonna kill us both if we ask him.

Keiko: And where's the problem in that? I'd actually enjoy it if he went Riot on Kaori.

And I'm only thinking this to myself. *Sigh* She can't hear me.'

Benimaru: Then here's a hint... you say it to her face.

She looked at Kaori. This time, she had her shocked face put on.

Manic: Cripes, she's not human! She has many faces!

"Did you just speak in your mind?" asked Kaori.

"Y… y… yeah… Why?"

"Because I can hear you."

Keiko: Reading this is giving me an odd feeling about the future... and it doesn't look good.

Barb froze.

"Does that mean…"

"Yes."

"WOOHOO!"

Barb got so excited; she started to do the chicken dance.

"LaLaLaLaLaLaLa! LaLaLaLaLaLaLa! And shake your bum! *clap**clap**clap**clap*" (Note: I was bored when I did this! No offence to Barb of course! ^_^)"

All except Kyo: What the hell?
Kyo: This is one of those moments where I should piss Yagami off. I think I'm ready to be put out of my misery now.

Kyo looked at Barb wide eyes.

"Is this how you foreigners express happiness?"

Manic: Thanks for making America look even dumber, you two.
Benimaru: No offense, but is that even possible?
Manic: I don't know any more.

Embarrassed, Kaori spoke.

"Uh… Well, sorta…"

"Interesting."

"Not really."

Emi: You're darn right it's not interesting.

Barb was back to her normal self again.

Keiko: I don't think she was normal to begin with.

"Whose in for a celebration at the `Illusion Congratulations'! (King's bar. Thanks Pierpaolo!)"

Keiko: It's called "Illusion". The damn "Illusion".
Benimaru: Is there anything to celebrate? I think I'm lost here.
Kyo: I can't blame you, Beni.
Manic: At least the author finally did the research... somewhat.
Emi: Too bad she didn't decide to edit the previous chapters.

"Barb, don't over-react. We have not much money."

"Oww…. Ok."

A light bulb suddenly popped on top of Kaori's head. She turned her head slowly toward Kyo.

"Oh Mr. Kusanagi…?"

Everyone except Kyo: Oh, crap.
Kyo: *as himself* Go away, you stupid leech. Jeez, kids these days.

~Illusion Congratulations~

Note: [ ] means communicating with the mind via Barb's psychic powers.

Emi: *flatly* Hooray, just what I wanted to read about... the Sue Psychic Link.

[What a great plan Kaori.]

[He's the rich guy. He doesn't have to worry about money. WE do!]

Keiko: Isn't gold digging fun? You idiots and your MTV's driving me up a wall.

As Kyo watched the girls stared at each other, not saying a word, two people entered the bar.

"Shingo!"

"Master Kyo!"

"Just, Kyo. OK?"

"Heh Heh, OK."

Emi: Well, at least the author got the "Master Kyo" thing right.

The other person stepped forward. Kaori almost spat her drink out.

"BENIMARU? I thought I whipped your ass to unconscious state! I'd expect you to be in hospital for at LEAST a month!"

"A fighter recovers fast!" said Benimaru, as he then looks at Barb, with a extremely hentai look on his face.

Manic: *irritated* Cripes, just say "perverted"! "Hentai" is not the only Japanese word in the world!
Benimaru: *facepalms* Oh, my character... it's... horrendous! This is not me!

Kaori slapped him.

"Don't you dare touch my friend." She said calmly as she dragged Barb back to their rooms. "Seeya all, people!"

Kyo: So, Broccoli... I heard that your brother called this brat "Kathryn" earlier. Who is she?
Manic: A humongous Jerk Sue. He calls other Sues by that name if they're jerks as well.
Kyo: And what fic is that from?
Manic: Trust me, you don't want to read it.

~ Back in the `closet room' as they now refer it ~

"Kaori, do cut Benimaru some slack. He's really a nice person, I know it."

"Barb, you can't trust some sick-minded… GUY,

Manic: Grrrl Powah!
Keiko: Seriously, the more she bitches about him, the more I'm convinced that she watches way too many Lifetime films.
Kyo: Christ, she needs to stop talking out of her ass for once. Flex that brain that she doesn't use much.

in this society. This is South Town. Wanna live, you gotta be more cautious."

Barb looked surprised.

"Seems you've done a lotta research to this place. I can't believe you know so much about a town that really doesn't exists in the `real world'."

Emi: That's because she doesn't get out much.
Benimaru: She's probably worse than those hardcore Trekkies.

"Hey, I'm a KOF freak, aren't I? With Internet access too!"

All: We don't care!
Keiko: That's like saying that I eat every day. Jeez, go get hit by a bus or something.
Manic: Dude, the head writer loves this series, too. And she doesn't make it a point to hold it over everyone's heads.

"Hehe. But Kaori, what is our next plan. I mean, we HAVE to find a way to get outta here. I know its fun and all, but I'm starting to miss home…"

Kyo: Good. Stay trapped here. Nobody's going to miss you.

Kaori's Mind

"Kaori! Clean up your damn room! It's a pig sty!"

"Kaori! How many times have I told you DO YOUR HOMEWORK FIRST!"

"Kaori! If you studied more you wouldn't FAIL the damn test!"

"Kaori…"

End Of `Kaori's Mind'

Manic: She was thinking?! Holy crap!

"Ah… I sorta like it here… but anyway."

Emi: Yes, because how dare they tell her what to do! She's her own person at seventeen!
Benimaru: And then her "friend" backstabs her and gets sent to jail for murder. Ah, the glory of being independent.

Barb was thinking hard. The fairy sent them here to make our dreams come true. But does this mean that they have to finish this adventure to return home?

Keiko: Maybe they'll cross paths with Yamazaki along the way.
Kyo: Pipe dream, Tsukino.

"I think we HAVE to compete in the KOF 2001 tournament to get outta here."

Manic: Great, now Igniz can take care of her!
Keiko: Good riddance.

Kaori just lighted a flame.

"Dun worry. We'll whip some asses and go! We have `the all time famous Kyo Kusanagi' as our coach. What else CAN go wrong?"

Manic: Aside from the fact that Kathryn hasn't gotten any karma?
Kyo: Aside from the fact that this fic hasn't ended yet?

Barb looked unsure.

"… I hope you're right…"

Emi: She's always right. After all, the annoying Mary Sue can do no wrong.

~ Back at the bar ~

This time, it was Benimaru who almost spat his drink out.

"You accepted them as your students?"

Kyo nodded.

Keiko: I think I want to commit seppuku right now.

"Yeah. They have a lot of potential. It's the Kaori girl I'm worried about. She seems to be related either to the Yagami clan or our clan. I'm sure we don't have any other relatives!"

Benimaru went into dreamy mode.

"What about the other girl, Barb?"

"Oh. I just thought she was related to Athena."

Emi: So... why the heck would you want to train her if she doesn't have any flames?
Kyo: Oh, you know... so they can probably get into "my" pants. *looks at Emi* Isn't that right, Emi?
Emi: *laughs nervously*

Shingo looked up.

"She doesn't look Japanese."

Kyo looked at Shingo. It just made him felt stupid when Shingo is around.

Manic: I don't think Shingo's the person that's making you feel stupid right now...

"But anyway, I think they are fit for the Kusanagi Martial Arts."

Keiko: I never knew it was possible to make the great Kyo Kusanagi even dumber.
Kyo: Hey, Tsukino... how's that seppuku coming along?
Keiko: I hate you so much.
Kyo: Yes, that's nice.

Benimaru looked a bit unsure.

Benimaru: I think I'm going to have to agree with "myself" there.

"Hmmm… Maybe…"

Next Chapter Highlights:

Will the girls make it for their first fight? Can they survive the Korean Team?

Manic: No to both questions. I think.

Will they even see Iori?

Emi: Nobody cares about Yagami-san, you horny person, you!
Keiko: I love the double standard here. Nikaido can't have an attraction to the Sue's friend, but the Sue's so eager to ogle Iori.
Emi: This disgusts me.

Find out in the next chapter of, `A Rare Chance In Life'.

Kyo: Is there another chapter?
Manic: I don't think so.
Kyo: Thank god for that.

Authour's Note:

Sorry everyone! I know it has been long, but I REALLY was busy!

Keiko: Let's hope that you remain busy.

Anyways, I finished this one in a rush. Any mistakes on the story, please contact me! Seeya! ^_~

Benimaru: Well, let's begin, shall we?
Kyo: Sure thing, Beni. The first mistake is that this fic exists.
Emi: Master Kyo!
Kyo: What? You know it's true!

Document created with wvWare/wvWare version 0.6.7 ->

Manic: That's nice. Whew, we're done here!
Benimaru: Good. I don't think I could take another second of seeing myself getting beaten up by a hypocrite.

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