Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Egg Spiral Crew, Episode 9: A Rare Chance In Life (Part Two)

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"Wait

Sonia: Uh... where's the rest of that sentence?

A Rare Chance In LifeChapter Two – Dream Match Revived (Literally)Dedicated To Barb…

"Wait!" cried Benimaru.

Amy: I think I found it, Sonia.
Sonia: Uh... huh.

They turned around.

"Hey, I thought you were unconscious!" Barb pointed out.

Manic: Maybe somebody had the decency to take him to a hospital! Ever thought of that?!

"It was your angelic voice that woke me up of course!"

Sonic: Okay... either he's been severely warped to heck and back... or one of the Sues have siren voices.
Manic: It's the former, bro.
Sonic: It better be the former.

Kaori rubbed her temples in frustration.

Sonia: *folds her arms* I have a different reason to do that.

'This guy probably considers himself as a lothario.'

Amy: *grabs a dictionary* Lothario... oh, that's the wrong term to describe Mr. Nikaido, ma'am! For the last time, he's not a lech!

Barb turned red. She can be embarrassed so easily.

Manic: *mumbles* This fic's a bit embarrassing, I'm sorry.

Benimaru raced up to Barb.

"Please. Tell me your name O beautiful one!"

Sonic: *sighs* Jeez, and the guy rips off Shakespeare for good measure!

"B… Barb." Bearb was still red.

Amy: Nice job misspelling your friend's name there.

"Such a LOVELY name! Care to join me for dinner at my apartment?"

Manic: And what base is he trying to skip to?
Sonic: Home, probably.
Manic: Whoa, save that for the plotless sex fics, man.

"OK, MISTER! We're going to go now!" shouted Kaori as a flame surrounded her now clench up fist.

Benimaru turned to Kaori with a serious expression.

"I have not for gotten you. You knocked me out and you have what seemed to be the Kusanagi flame! You are some kind of clone from N.E.S.T.S. aren't you? Perhaps a perfect clone of Kyo!"

Sonic: Yep, a perfect cookie cutter. Just like E--
Amy: *nervously laughs while covering Sonic's mouth*
Manic: Save that stuff for later, bro.

Kaori was confused, even if she knew the whole KOF storyline off by heart.

Sonia: *rolls her eyes* Yeah, I'm so impressed.

She, a clone? Ha! Benimaru must be nuts!

Amy: Look in the mirror, you.

"Listen…"

But before she could finish, Benimaru charged at her with his 'Lightning Fist'.

Kaori dodged the attack.

Sonia: Yes, because only Sues know how to dodge everything.

'What am I gonna do? I don't really know how to control the flames!'

Sonic: Cool. Maybe those random Sue stealing powers can burn you to cinders.
Manic: Cripes, how dark are everyone's riffs today?
Sonic: Dark enough to start a solar eclipse.

Benimaru then proceeded to perform his 'Lightning Fist SDM' on Kaori.

'Well, this is it. I'm doomed.'

Kaori squinted her eyes shut, ready to receive the powerful SDM.

Sonic: *chanting* Hit! Hit! Hit!
Sonia: *sighs*

But Benimaru's fist never made contact with her. She opened her eyes to see Benimaru on the ground not moving.

Amy: *looks at Manic* Huh? What happened?
Manic: *shrugs* Don't ask me.

"Barb!"

Barb looked at her hands. Then she broke into a schoolgirl giggle.

Sonia: *rubbing her temples* Oh, for the love of...
Manic: *stammers* I-I-I... oh, god.
Sonic: *facepalms* I hate this fic.
Amy: *gets up* I'm done. I can't read any more of this.
Sonic: Well, this is a first. What's the hurry, huh?
Amy: *sits down, sighs* I... I just don't know. Really, I haven't read a fic this headache inducing since... well, you know what fic I'm talking about.

"Hey Kaori! I got it! I got it!"

Kaori looked confused.

"Got what?"

"My powers!"

Sonic: Oh, you mean your ass pull abilities?

Kaori looked at her.

"Uh… Do ya have fire power?"

Sonia: The answer better be "no".

Barb shook her head.

Sonia: Good.

"Watch this!"

Barb turned to a wall. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"PSYCHO BALL!" she shouted as she put her two hands together with her palms facing the wall.

A psychic projectile appeared and went flying to the wall, which is now just a pile of rubble.

Sonic: Uh... ain't you going to pay for that wall that you wrecked?
Amy: She has... Athena's...
Sonia: *throws her hands up* Oh! Stick a fork in me, I'm done!
Manic: How come nobody wants to be a ninja or have awesome bo staff abilities, huh? How come everyone has to have psychic or fire abilities?
Amy: *looks at a picture of Kyo and Miyu* Oh, the irony of it all...

"My God! Psychic powers?"

"Yeah! Cool huh?"

All: *annoyed* No.

"But take my advice. Do NOT call your move 'Psycho Ball'. You never if The Psycho Soldiers placed 'copyright' next to their moves."

Sonic: And then M. Bison copyrighted "Psycho Power". Instead of a lawsuit, he just slaughtered everyone.

Barb nodded and smiled.

Manic: Jeez, does this puppet have any sort of personality?
Amy: Nope.

"I guess we'll have to think up names for our moves now…"

Kaori and Barb took a look at Benimaru one last time before FINALLY heading towards town.

Sonia: Yep, give him the finger again.
Amy: Can't we just tie them to some train tracks or something?

~ Southtown – Somewhere in there ~

Sonic: "Somewhere in there"? Pfft, this fic doesn't even care where we're going now!

The streets were in disgrace as the two girls walked down the pedestrian looking for a hotel or just a place to stay in.

Amy: Seriously, if this self-insert Sue is supposed to know everything about KOF, why is she walking around Southtown?!

"HEY YOU TWO!" shouted out a bulky looking man.

"Yes." They answered turning to face him.

He took out a knife and held it in front of them.

"Gimmie all ya money!"

Kaori and Barb looked at each other.

"You can. I'm a bit tired." Said Kaori to Barb.

Sonic: There's a difference between being snarky and being a jerk. You, ma'am... are clearly the unfunny latter.
Sonia: And Kathryn's ghost rises into Kaori's soul.

"Ok." Answered Barb as she held out one hand towards the 'robber'. (What can I say? Southtown is an unprotected town. No wonder Robbers come out in broad daylight. And yes, the sun is still up, there.)

Amy: We know what broad daylight is. Quit holding our hands.

"PSYCHIC BOMB!" she screamed (sorry, I just couldn't think up anymore names!).

Sonia: *mutters* This fic didn't take any thought, either.
Manic: Jeez, if you're bitter now, I'd hate to see you when you turn eighty.

A projectile went flying towards the 'robbery'. He screamed as the projectile reached him. He is now on the ground, barely alive.

Amy: Hooray, almost murdering someone is fun! Even though it was self defense, but still! Almost murdering someone is fun!

"Hmm… I should of know." Said Kaori. "If Benimaru was knocked out by that move, this guy would stand no chance against it."

Barb gestured.

"Ah… Kaori? Can we go and eat now? I'm tired and starving!"

"OK."

Sonia: And the cops don't exist.
Sonic: Of course they don't exist! This is Southtown!

~ A Out Of Business Restaurant ~

Amy: Um, if they're out of business... then it wouldn't be a restaurant. I'm just saying.

The shopkeeper looked surprised as the two of them walked in.

"Um… Do you have a menu for take away's?" asked Barb, for they wanted to find some place to set foot fast and did not want to waste anymore time than they already have.

Sonic: Well, you're already wasting our time. Join the damn club.

"YES!" he said enthusiastically as he handed them each a yellowed handout menu.

Manic: Holy crap, Frank Nelson's serving them from the dead!

"*Geeze, they must be starving here.*" Kaori whispered to Barb.

"*Well, what do you expect from such a run downed town.*" Barb whispered back.

Sonia: You don't need asterisks in your speech. We already know you're whispering if you're telling us that.

"A medium fried rice and a coke please."

"Same."

"Coming right up!"

~ King's Bar, Downtown (The hell I would know what the Bar's name is!) ~

All: Illusion!
Sonic: Do some research, would ya?! Jeez, you lazy...!

After satisfying their stomach, they continued walking until they reached a bar, which sounded quite familiar to them.

They walked in together and saw two identical bar waitresses setting up the place for tonight.

A screaming man (or woman) could be seen screaming at the phone.

Sonia: How ironic that King was described in that manner, considering what Benimaru said about the Sue earlier...

"I don't care! I ordered it two months ago and NOW you tell me you are out of stock? What is up with you people! I have been your customer for… I don't know how long! When I order something, I expected to be on time! You better fix this! Good Bye!"

Kaori and Barb looked at each other.

"That's King alright." Said Kaori.

"But she slimmer than in the game." Said Barb.

Manic: Yeah, video games can add ten pounds to your favorite characters. I mean, look at Ralf and Clark now.
Amy: I'd say that's a lot more than ten pounds on them, Manic.

They walked towards the place where King is.

King was surprised. Not many people would come to the bar in this hour and the fact that they were so young. But a customer is a customer. She'll serve them anyway.

Sonic: And then the bar got shut down for serving Sues that were clearly under the drinking age. *pauses for a moment* Nah, I'm just kidding.

"What would you two like? But I don't really think that any of the alcohol variety here is suitable for your age. Perhaps some soft drink?"

"No thanks, we just had some."

King thought for a while.

"How about some juices? I have a lot to choose from."

Sonia: Could you at least poison Kaori's drink for us?

They gestured a bit. How can they ask King if they could stay here for a while? This isn't a hotel…

"Well… we…" said Barb.

King waited for her to finish.

"Well, we were wondering, can we stay here for a while? I mean, we're new here so we don't really know where to go."

King thought again. There aren't really any hotels or motels here. Should she accommodate these two strangers?

All: No.

"Hmmm… I do have a spare room upstairs, but I'll have to charge you."

Kaori and Barb checked their wallets.

"Ah… How much do you charge?"

"Ten dollars for a night, including food."

'Sounds like a bargain.'

"We'll take it."

Sonic: Okay, how crappy does it look, huh?

"Okay then. Here is the key to your room."

King handed them the key.

Manic: How convenient.

"Thanks."

"No worrys."

They walked up to their room. It was quite easy to find, no wonder King didn't lead them up. But she was busy anyway so no surprise there.

The room was dull

Amy: Just like this fic.

and there were two mattresses' on the floor.

"I guess ten dollars a night isn't such a bargain after all." Said Barb as she went to one mattress and sat down.

Sonia: For ten dollars, that is a bargain, hon.
Manic: You think that's bad? They need to learn about living in the sewers.
Sonia: Ick.
Manic: *stares at Sonia* Don't mock my home, man.

"I wonder if we'll see Ryo and the rest of AOF." Said Kaori as she, too, went to her mattress.

Sonic: Yeah, let's bend another canon universe to the depths of Hell, huh?

"Maybe. You know, Ryo ALWAYS wants to see King, and the fact Takuma thinks of King as 'Future mother of the Sakazaki heir', I think Takuma would persuade Ryo to come here."

Manic: Yep! I need more hand holding because I'm too damn dumb to figure out the story by my own damn self!

"Say, would you think that King would give a us a job here?"

"Probably not. We're too young!"

They both laughed.

All: *laughing halfheartedly*

Night soon fell upon them and both headed downstairs.

Amy: So... the night crushed them and forced them downstairs?
Sonic: Ouch! That's painful!

The bar was noisy and crowded. They watched in amazement as King made the drinks at lightning speed.

"Wow…"

"How DOES she do it?"

Sonia: She's a frickin' bartender. What the hell do you two ninnies think?!

Then, they both spotted someone coming through the door.

RYO SAKAZAKI!

Followed by…

YURI SAKAZAKI!

And…

ROBERT GARCIA!

(Wow. BIG surprise!)

All: *rolls their eyes*
Manic: Yeah, I'm real excited. Never mind the fact that you dropped the hints harder than elephant poop!

"Hi guys." Said King as she prepared for another drink.

Ryo looked worried.

"King, are you sure you can handle this?"

King laughed.

"You ask me all the time! I've been doing this for a LONG time! Don't worry!"

Yuri then stepped forward.

"Have you heard? Yet another KOF tournament is held! I wonder if N.E.S.T.S. is behind all this…"

Sonic: Might as well be, I guess.
Manic: Maybe it was randomly pulled out by--
Amy: Not yet, Manic!
Manic: Are we even going to riff that fic?
Amy: I don't know, maybe.

"I think they ARE behind all this." Said Robert, as he helped himself the make a drink. King glared at him. "Oh… Sorry."

"So you should be."

The girls listen to their conversation close by without being spotted.

"A KOF tournament?" asked Barb.

"Yeah. I think it is 'Dream Match Revived'." Said Kaori.

Sonia: If those two enter KOF, I'm throwing myself off of a cliff.
Sonic: Well, you have to remember something, sis... this is the same competition that introduced Bao.
Sonia: Oh. Right.

"So, anything interesting happened today?" asked Ryo. (Sooo interested in King)

Amy: Stop holding our hands! This isn't a picture book!

"Yeah. Two young girls, one about 13 and one about 17 came and asked for shelter. I rented them a spare room upstairs."

"Oh." said Ryo, not that interested.

Sonia: I'm not interested in two little brats, either.

'So, it's not a MAN staying upstairs. Only two girls, what harm can they be of?' (Big mistake Ryo!)

Manic: Grrrl Powah!
Sonic: Thanks for derailing Ryo's personality, author. I appreciate it.

Barb made a funny face.

Kaori: What's the matter?

Barb: I think I just read Ryo's mind…

Manic: *facepalms*
Amy: *gets up* Okay, I'm outta here.
Sonic, Sonia: Amy?
*Amy just leaves the living room while waving her hand over her shoulder.*
Sonia: Amy!
Sonic: Let her go, sis.

Kaori: Really? That's SOOO cool! I bet Athena doesn't have that power!

Sonia: No, she doesn't have the power to become a Mary Sue! Why do you ask? I--
*At this point, a young girl in her late teens enters the living room.*
Sonia: Um...
Manic: Huh?
Sonic: Uh, hey. Who the heck are you?
Emi: I'm Emi Tsukino... Miss Rose called me over to take her place for a while.
Sonia: Well, that's a quick change.
Sonic: Uh... okay... yeah. Welcome, have a seat. And how long are you going to riff with us?
Emi: *sits down* I don't know. She seemed pretty upset when she asked me to sub for her.
Manic: Yeesh.

Barb: But seriously, it freaked me out!

Kaori: Don't worry, you'll get use to it.

Sonic: Yeah, screw training and everything! Let's just master those powers easily!

Barb: Hmm…

Barb fiddle with her ruby ring on her finger. She always does that when she gets nervous.

"What's that?" asked Kaori, looking at the ring, admiring it.

Emi: Stealing it...
Manic: Pawning it...

"Oh, I had this since I was a little girl. It's a family treasure that was past down from generation to generation."

Sonia: And yet it came with you to Southtown. To. Southtown.

"Oh, OK."

Emi: That's one odd response.

King and the gang were engaged in their conversation about KOF 2001 and abut which team would they participate in. Once again, Kaori and Barb eavesdropped on them.

Sonic: Because they have nothing else to do. And why do they need to talk about a specific year?

Ryo: I think I'll stick to the AOF team as usual. (VERY hard to guess!)

Robert: I'll stick with Ryo. (I should have known.)

Emi: Here's a hint for writing a good fanfic, author... stop inserting your notes in the middle of it.
Sonia: Or at least stop writing. I think my suggestion's a better one.
Emi: Um... she hasn't published or updated anything in a decade.
Sonia: *folds her arms* Then I'm glad she got the hint.
Emi: Oh, my. You remind me of my sister so much.

Yuri: But, whom should I go with?

King: If you want, you can go back to the AOF team. I'll just back to my old team again.

Manic: Yes, because we KOF fans don't know who ended up with whom during that year.

Yuri: No. Lets discuss this later. Right now I just wanna relax a bit ya know. The tournament won't be on until 6 months later. We have plenty of time.

King: Hmm… I guess you're right. Drinks anyone?

All: Yes please!

Sonic: If alcohol can make you forget things like this fic, I would like a gallon of it.

~In Their Room~

Kaori: I wanna participate in the tournament too!

Sonic, Sonia, Manic: For the love of god, no!

Barb: Shhh…. Not so loud!

Kaori: Oh, Sorry.

Barb: I wanna participate too, but we need more team members.

Emi: *cleaning her glasses lenses* Yes, I'm sure that cardboard cutouts will do just fine for you two. And according to Miss Rose, those are your personalities.
Manic: Well, damn! Amy was bitter about this thing!

Kaori: Let's just SCA-RU the more team members thing and just go! I mean, well, both enter as single participants?

Sonia: Don't you mean "screw"?
Sonic: Yes, sis. I'm this close to saying "screw this fic".

Barb: Nah, that wouldn't be right. We're new, remember?

Kaori: Shingo was new in 97!

Manic: Hey, guys? Can I just hold your hands since this fic hasn't done enough of it yet?
Sonia: *rubs her head* Only if one of your hands has an aspirin in it.

Barb: But still…

Kaori: OK, we'll find more members.

Barb: Good.

They rolled on their mattress's thinking about the tournament and where the HELL they would find people to join them?

Emi: Try bribing some of them.

As they thought more about it, they drifted of the sleep…

Sonic: And in a true twist of pipe dreams coming true, they suffered night terrors and died from them.

Author's Note

I wrote this POINTLESS chapter out of boredom.

Emi: What...?
Sonic: You knew it was pointless... and you decided to publish it?
Sonia: *irritated sigh*
Manic: *shrugs* I don't know anything any more.

I just couldn't think of anything to put on chapter two (but, HELL YEAH it's a long one!).

Sonia: Yes, that whole thing of nothing was too long for my tastes.

Then I realised that King's Bar (Once again, I note that I do NOT know the name of King's Bar)

All: It's called "Illusion"!
Sonic: *as Uncle* Someone must do research!

and the AOF team is located in Southtown (and yes, we DID drop in Southtown),

Manic: And yes, I'm wearing a dunce hat because I'm too damn dumb to know where the Sues went today. How many times must I repeat myself when it comes to this?

so I wrote about the AOF team and King. That got me thinking A LOT

Emi: Wait, you were thinking? That's a bit of a first.

and I have a serious case of writers block. But you never know, when the perfect idea strikes me, I will write. Stay tuned for the next chapter!

Kaori

Sonia: I don't think I want to stay tuned. And is Amy coming back?
Sonic: I don't know. Emi, can you lean forward a bit?
Emi: Um, sure.
*Sonic plucks a note from the couch. It says, "See you when the fic ends! Love, Amy."*
Sonic: You want to know if she's coming back for the next fic or during this one?
Sonia: During this one.
Sonic: Yeah... she's ditching the rest of this fic.
Manic: *leans back in his seat* Hell, I can't blame her for that.

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