Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Black Crow Crew, Episode 12: New Girl!? (Part Two)

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6 - Sing Rina! Sing!

It starts as Rina is on stage. With her friends Chika, Takafumi, Sunshine, and
Veena!

Cassy: Where's Sonic?
Jessie: Probably getting another girlfriend.

(Rina: Are you guys nervous?) (Everyone: Why? Are you?) (Sunshine: C'mon girl, you can do it!) (Veena: Yeah! And we know it!) (Takafumi: Yup! Friends till the end!) (Chika: So lets start!!!)

Kyo: I think I just got a massive case of diabetes.

(Rina: Uh, hi. This is our first time on stage... So heres the song.)

All: What's the name of it?!

Everybody starts playing. (Rina: We can do anything. Just shot the moon baby, baby, baby baby, babe. Wait and see. Hold on stay tight are you ready for a crazy ride? Your on your own... Somethins gotta give tonight! So if wannna you run, run and dissapear you and I can bust our way outta here! Together we can! Shot the moon stop the rain even ride a hurricane!)

Jessie: Uh... what?

(Everyone: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Miyu: Really? Really?
Cassy: Well, there goes my hundred bucks.

Rina runs to Sonic. (Rina: Thanks Sonic for helping me!)

Cassy: He didn't. Jeez, those friends do all of her legwork for nothing.

Sonic starts to blush.. (Sonic: Uh... No problem..) The couple kissis for a wonderful moment!

Miyu: *sprinkles sawdust on the floor* Feel free to vomit. Manic let me borrow this.

Okay you guys I need an idea for the next chap... HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Kyo: I got one. How 'bout you bring Sally back to life so she can kill Rina?

7 - Sally is Back!!!!!!

Kyo: Well, there's one problem down.

So anyways the gang was walking near a cliff to see the view. But then they saw something green.

Cassy: Manic?! Manic's dead?! No!

(Sonic: Whats that!?)

Jessie: *cocks a double-barreled shotgun* Look in here and I'll tell you.

(Rina: AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This reminds me of the time that I went to my grandma's and she had...) (Takafumi: WE GET THE PICTURE!)

Miyu: Uh... no, we don't. Care to enlighten us with your unfunny sugar humor?

(Rina: Oops... Hehe!) (Veena: What are we gonna do with you Rina...) (Sunshine: Lets get back to the point... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Kyo, Cassy: *feigns horror, sticks up their middle fingers*
Kyo: Why are we riffing this?
Cassy: Because nobody else wanted to take it. Seriously, I tried to give it to Sonic, Kyo, and Mai... and they all shoved it back into my hands. And then Kyo smashed his head against a wall after he read it... and Emi freaked out about it.
Kyo: Well... at least you tried. Thanks, anyway.

Then when the green became clearer it looked like Sally!!!!!!!

Jessie: How does green become clear? Can you make green clear?
Miyu: Yes. You just make colored glass with it.

(Sally: You broke my heart, Sonic now I will break yours!!!!!!!) (Sonic: But I thought you died in the last two chapters!)

Kyo: Why is he breaking the fourth wall? He's not smart or funny enough for that!

(Sally: Think again!)

Cassy: Quit asking them to think! They don't!

Sally grabed Rina!(Rina: HELP!

Miyu: *cleaning her glasses lenses* No.

Wait! I have powers! Ya know I may look small but I'sm stong!) Rina broke free!

Jessie: *pinches the bridge of her nose* You have got to be kidding me. You suddenly remember that you have every power ever?
Kyo: That also includes the power to become a complete crash test dummy. So... that does cancel out.

(Veena: C'mon Sunshine we gotta do our double attack!) (Sunshine: Yeah!) So they did their attack and almost destroyed Sally!)

Miyu: A B-movie martial arts fight scene has better choreography than this. And what the heck is a double attack?
Cassy: Beats me.

Then Chika came! (Chika: What the heck? Is that Sally!?)

Cassy: No, it's an all black penguin. What the hell do you think?!

(Sally: YES! NOW LET ME DESTROY YOU!) Chika got mad and kicked her!) (Sally: Hey! I haven't got insurence yet!)

All: *facepalms*
Kyo: Please let me swim in a vat of acid somewhere...

Sonic and Rina did their double attack

Miyu: What's with this author's obsession of "double attacks"? This is worse than the arm fiasco!

and destroyed Sally! (Sally: You haven't heard the last of me!!!!)

Jessie: Um... why is she still talking if she's destroyed?
Kyo: Ashes can talk, so let 'em.

Next Chap: New New Girl!

Cassy: *claps slowly* What creativity.

(Will this new girl break Rina's heart by taking Sonic find out!!! NEXT TIME!

Kyo: Please do. After that, the cycle can continue, and we won't have to deal with Rina for the rest of our lives!
Miyu: But... what if she's worse than Rina?
Kyo: Then we get an atom bomb.

8 - New New Girl!

Well, a few days ago the gang encountered Sally... AGAIN!

Miyu: Um, is this referring to the last chapter, or did they actually fight her re-reincarnation?
Cassy: Who cares, really?

So they are off to school... A few months have passed..

Jessie: My watch is broken. Does anybody have a set timeframe in this thing?
Kyo: Nope... because my brain's broken.

(Rina: Do you remember what day it is?????? I'll give you a hint! Its someones birthday......)

Kyo: Her! It's her goddamn birthday! There! I just saved you a whole five seconds of your useless life!

(Sonic: Ummmm... I don't know....)

Kyo: *screams, foams at the mouth*
Miyu: Oh, dear...

(Rina: She told you millions
of times....) (Sonic: I still don't know.)

Jessie: Please throw yourself in front of a subway train, "Sonic". You'll be doing the world a favor by Darwinizing yourself.

(Rina: ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! You are soooooooo clueless! WAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!)

Cassy: Whoa! She just threw a louder temper tantrum than Princess!

As Rina cried her way thru the room

Miyu: Wow, no wonder we didn't get a description of her! She was a ghost the whole time!

Sunshine and Veena came in. (Sunshine: Whats wrong with her????)
(Veena: Sonic..... What did you do this time?!

Jessie: In the end, it's somehow his fault. And what the heck did he do wrong in the past? I thought he was so "caring"!

You did remember Rina's birthday?) (Sonic: Aw Man! I forgot all about it!)

Cassy: *in a psychiatrist's chair* I don't know, dude. I mean, I've lived a pretty decent life so far... then there was that janitor job, and I got shot up into space, came back down... and now I'm here riffing garbage for a living.
Miyu: Cassidy... what are you doing?
Cassy: Venting.
Miyu: Uh... we don't have a psychiatrist here, Cassidy. Are you losing it?
Cassy: I think so.
Miyu: I think so, too.

(Sunshine and Veena: You! Forget your own girlfriend's birthday!!!??? You are soooo lost!)

Kyo: And I soooo want to cremate you two little brats.

(Sonic: I gotta go apoligize!)

Jessie: *mixing a cocktail* No, you don't. Drink?
Miyu: I'm amazed that you didn't start that earlier.
Jessie: *shrugs* Yeah, it's a first.

As Sonic was about to excit A girl came in. (Tide: Ummmm... Am I in room 207???) (Sonic: Hello.... And yes this is room 207.)
Tide sat next to Sonic. (Teacher: Excuse me, Tide... Rina sits there!)

Cassy: And why the hell do you care? Is it assigned seating or are you another one of that bland person's puppets?

(Tide: Hmmmm.... Stuiped Rina!) (Sonic: HEY! Shes my girlfriend!) (Veena and Snshine: And shes our friened!!!!!)

Miyu: Yes, but do you have independent personalities?

(Tide: WHAT!!!! Your girlfreind! I thought you were single Sonic!)

Kyo: *taking an IQ test* God, I hope I can outrank a slug on this thing.

After school. Rina was at her house waiting for a certain someone to call her. Ring Ring Ring!

Miyu: Great, now the narrator's on crack.
Jessie: Narrator's been on crack... and cocaine... and crystal meth...

(Rina: Hello??) (Sonic: Hey Rina! This is Sonic! Listen I'm sorry about that... But.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!) (Rina: Oh.. Thanks Sonic! No wonder your my BF!

Kyo: Man, she's easy to please, isn't she?

How bout we scheled a date tommorow at 6:00 PM!?)

Cassy: *as Rina* Do I wear some or no clothes?!

(Sonic: Sure!) The next day at school. (Rina: Uh. Sonic? Who is this?)

Jessie: Another random thing.

(Sonic: Her name is Tide.) (Tide: Hi! And you are?)

Jessie: The original random thing.

(Rina: My name is Rina and I am Sonic's girlfreind!)

Kyo: Get in line, lady. There's a lot of Sues who're saying the same damn thing.
Miyu: But isn't the Shadow line longer than Sonic's?
Kyo: Unfortunately, yes. The line's probably going to go to another zip code.

After Rina gos to do a erren for her teacher
Tide asks Sonic something. (Tide: Wanna go with me to the park at 6:00 PM?)

Miyu: Wanna find a different timeframe?

(Sonic: Sorry Tide.But I have a date with Rina!) (Tide: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Next chapter: Tide gets mad!

Cassy: Over a guy denying her? And then she gets mad over it when she knows that he's taken? Jeez, Jessie didn't act this butthurt when Kyo rejected her!
Jessie: *calmly sipping her cocktail* Eh, he might come around someday. It's no big loss. At least I had fun with his best friend...
Cassy: Should've figured that one out.

So how you like?

All: We still don't.

I would like to thank Sunshine fox, pinktiger300, and RyukoKaiba for cheering me on and supporting me!

Kyo: Translation: Being mindless praise things...

Thanks a lot guys! YOU ROCK!!!

Miyu: And thanks to you guys, we have to endure more chapters of this froth.

9 - Tide Gets Mad!

Miyu: I'm pretty sure that was obvious.

Ok.. It was at the place where Sonic and Rina went on a date.

Jessie: Where?! A black hole?!

(Rina: Thanks Sonic for bringing me here!) (Sonic: Only for the best!)

Cassy: And blandest.

Meanwhile.... Tide was in her room throwing everything in sight including her Ponpon po kikies dolls!(The dolls are from japan!)

Kyo: *grumbles* Damn fangirls...

(Tide: Stuiped Rina! she had to ruin my date with the cute blue blur!)

Miyu: Um... he was already taken when you arrived. What part of this do you not understand?

(Tide's mom: Tide! Get down here and eat your dinner!) Tide starts looking at a picture of Rina nad Sonic. (Tide: STOP STARING AT ME YOU FREAKS!!!!!!!)

Cassy: If Tide hates Rina so much, why does she have a picture of her and Sonic?
Jessie: She's a moron. Do you have to ask for common sense?

So while Rina was out Tide did something very very bad! (Tide: No! Those shirts do not go with that short!) Pay no attention to that....

Miyu: I should because you wrote that.

But she implanted a bomb in the whole school! Later.
The bomb went off! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miyu, Cassy: ...
Kyo: *stunned* Not even I would do something this horrible. What... what was this author thinking?!
Jessie: There was no thinking. At all. And now that I think about it, Kyo... your atom bomb riff...
Kyo: I know, I know. I'm not psychic, but jeez!

During the attack Sonic went back in to search for Rina.

Cassy: Wait, I thought she was on a date with Sonic at the park or something! What is this?!

But when she found her she just lay there.. Not moving.. Sonic was deeply hurt. (Sonic: WHO DID THIS!!!???) (Rina: i think it was.... tide!)

Miyu: If you're not moving, we're supposed to assume that you're dead or unconscious.
Cassy: Did you forget, Miyu? She's a walking letter ghost.

(Sonic: TIDE!!!!) (Tide: hehehehehehe!!!)Sooner or later Rina got better and Tide was sent to another school..

Kyo: What the hell?! Why isn't she in jail?!
Jessie: Because Sues can get away with attempted murder.

(Rina: I hope things get better.... I love you Sonic..) (Sonic: And I love you!)

Cassy: And my blood sugar and blood pressure spiked tenfold.

Next Chapter: Mission? No problem!

Miyu: Yes, there's a problem. This whole fic's a problem.

10 - Mission? No problem!

Ring Ring Ring went Rina's cell phone. (Sonic: Yeah.. Uh-Huh.. On my way! Rina , Sunshine, and Veena we just got a mission!)

Miyu: So... they're now a group of vigilantes? I'm heavily confused.
Kyo: I've stopped caring. If the author couldn't put any effort into this crap fic, I don't need to put effort into my riffs.

(Rina: Alright!) (Sunshine: Where?) (Sonic: At the Haunted Mansion!)

Cassy: Well, there you have it. Someone's gonna die.

So as they went in there were a lot of spooky things like scary painting, and many more!

Jessie: And it can all be yours if the price is right!

Then they came upon a dark and scary figure.

Kyo: Cassy rose from her coffin again?! Damn it, Cassy, quit scaring the kids!
Cassy: Oh, they'll get used to it!

(Boomer: Surprise to se me sis!?) (Rina: BOOMER!?) (Sonic, Sunshine, and Veena: Boomer?)

All: Who?

(Boomer: Yes.. Now sis you will pay for getting all the attention!)

Jessie: Yeah. Have fun trying to kill her.

Then Boomer pointed his finger at Rina and something zapped! Rina was no more… All she was now was dust and sand.

Jessie: Oh. Well...
Kyo: *shrugs* Quoi que. (Whatever.)
Miyu: *now in the psychiatrist's chair* I mean, I don't know how I became such a hypocrite. It's gotten to the point where I'm having a bit of a hard time determining up from down.
Cassy: *wearing a fake moustache, writing in a pad* Mm-hmm. Continue, Miss Prower.

(Boomer: Hehe.. That's what you get! And to think robotizing was funnier!) (Sonic: So you were the one.. You killed my girlfriend and you robotized my family. NOW YOU WILL PAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) (Veena: YEAH!) (Sunshine: YOU GOT ANOUTHER THING COMING!!!!!!!)

Kyo: Veena? Sunshine? Can one or both of you talky little muppets care to shut the hell up for at least two seconds?
Cassy: So... we now get a sudden backstory, huh?
Jessie: Yep. And why do I feel like reading our last special?
Miyu: Because it's a better written train wreck?
Jessie: Exactly, Miyu.

So as they beat him up their tears went wild over the perfect Rina.

Miyu: She's not perfect if she's dead.
Kyo: I would celebrate... but there's nothing to go by.

But Sonic's heart had more pain then anyone else's. (Sonic: Why.. It was too short.) Then he turned and saw a picture of Rina doing a peace sign.

Cassy: Huh? Why is the ghost suddenly producing pictures? What is this?

(Sonic: I guess tomorrow we should have her funeral..

Jessie: Hurry up and do that! We need to remove any evidence that she was here!

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