Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Black Crow Crew, Episode 6: miharu's story of star comand (Part One)

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Note: This chapter contains mentions of rape and suicide... that are done poorly and added for "drama". They are not in any sort of explicit detail.

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Chapter 1

a/n: hi I'm telekonomo!

Miyu: Um... hi.

i'm on my friend's account right now so when mine gets activated i'll switch this over to mine ok?

Kyo: Someone didn't live up to their promise.
Jessie: Huh?
Kyo: It's 2011. This fic was written in Two Thousand Freaking Nine!
Jessie: Oh.

~^_^~

Cassy: -_-;

i am so glad i could write this KAWWAAAAIII fanfic for you all!

Kyo: Stop that! Stop your fangirl Japanese!

I am a big BLOSC fan

Cassy: I don't think that's how you spell "blocks".
Miyu: No, Cassidy...

and u am sooo happy to be here!

Kyo: I am not.

mira is my favorite character she is soooo pretty! w!

Jessie: "W"? The hell does that mean?

i want to be just like mira, nyaan~!

Miyu: *cringes* Oh, no... it's the infamous "Neko-Chan" syndrome...

ok so here i go!

Kyo: I hope you go away.

nos-4-a2 was sitting in this throne when commander nubula jumped in throught the window and screamed, "NOS-4-A2! I WILL KILL YOU!"

Cassy: Well, at least she used a comma.
Jessie: And you actually found something good in that sentence?

so then nos-4-a2 roaarrreed at commandar nubula!

Miyu: *as Tony the Tiger* Gr-r-r-r-eat!

commander nubula was rly rly rly upset at nos-4-a2 and nos-4-a2 bit nubula on the face and nubula said,

Kyo: *as Nebula* Where's the darn pacing?!

"OH NO YOU BIT ME! THIS IS NOT KAWWAAAAII!"

Miyu, Jessie, Cassy: ...
Kyo: Excuse me, I have to smear a certain someone all over my lovely concrete driveway now.

but then nos-4-a2 jumped on nubula and then began to make out with him!

Cassy: Bow-chicka-wow-wow!
Jessie: *shudders*

"nos-4-a2 what are you doing?"

Kyo: *as Nos-4-A2* I'm submitting to the perverted whims of a fangirl who abuses the Japanese language! Help me!

nubula moaned into the kiss + wasn't resisiting

Cassy: A plus sign?! You couldn't be arsed to put in an ampersand, dude?

"why i am raping you!"

Jessie: *as Nos-4-A2* Why, I am proud of it!

nos-4-a2 laughed at nubula "no!" nubula screamed but he didn't mean it because he wanted nos-4-a2

Miyu: *removes her glasses* I can't do this. I mean, we're just slammed with a human and cyborg vampire suddenly doing the "rapey tango".
Jessie: And it's supposed to be "hot".
Cassy: Hell, I'd rather reread those stories with the "Japanese" Poké Sues.
Miyu: *puts her glasses back on, sighs*

XR was walking around in star command in the middle of the night when ty parsex came out of no where and XR jumped and he was really scared because ty had scared him!

Jessie: Uh... duh...?

"Ohiyo gozimaassuuu,"

Kyo: *annoyed* Would you stop spreading your diseased fangirliness around and just say "Good morning"?!

xr said even though it was evening he was so scared that he had forgotten that it was night

Miyu: Wow, that sun certainly "set" rather quickly...

"konbanwah," ty corrected him

Kyo: "Good evening," Kyo corrected him.

"do you want to go to a movie with me xr?"
xr blushed and said, "SURE!"

Jessie: And then the movie was awesome. The End.
Cassy: I give it two thumbs up... my butt!

they went to the movie and it was really cool and then ty put his arm around xr and xr blushed

Kyo: Do we really need to see your kink for man on robot sex, lady?
Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Sometimes it can continue longer than an ordinary person...
Kyo: You're a creepy girl, Miyu. I like that.
Miyu: *blushes*
Cassy: Hey! You two horny birds done?
Kyo: *grumbles*
Miyu: *clears her throat* Yes. My apologies.

but then a radioactive moon came on the screen!

Jessie: Boner killer!

ty parsex turned into the wirewolf and then xr was really afraid!

Cassy: Yes, because you wouldn't be if your former ally turned into the Wirewolf.

but then the wirewolf ran after xr and xr was running

Miyu: And then he got madder and threw his phone on the couch...

and the wirewolf got popcorn on his head

Kyo: *woodenly* Wow. That's funny.

(not that head you baka! /;; )

Jessie: Says the pervert.

and xr was laughing at the wirewolf and then the wirewolf turned back into ty and ty was naked so then XR blushed again!

Cassy: Bow--
Kyo: Do that again, and I will torch you, Goth Kitty.

so then ty sung a song to xr and it was v6 by spirit

All: Huh?

(a/n: MY FAV BAND EVER)

All: We don't care!

"kimi no tame ni kimi no subete ga kono sekai wo hashitteku wasurenai de donna toki demo taisetsu na no wa SPIRIT~~~!"

Jessie: *sighs* I don't even embrace my Japanese half, and this is embarrassing me.

then xr joined in when hiroshi and jun sang together!

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* What the hell is going on?
Kyo: It's a shitty fake Japanese musical. That's what's going on.

"hirakikaketa tobira no nobu ni te wo kaketa no nara osoreru koto wa nai hora hikari ga sasu yo"

Kyo: *muttering* Kono gengo no ranyou ga owa ranakereba, watashi ha dareka wo tosatsu shiyouto omotte iru.
Jessie, Cassy: Huh?
Miyu: Loosely translated, he said... "If the abuse of this language does not end, I am going to slaughter somebody."
Jessie, Cassy: Huh.

so then ty and xr were very happy together and they walked away all happy and then they went to the top of star command and had well YOU KNOW! (/;; )

Cassy: Yes, screw the logic! They just did it on top of a space station!

(a/n: ok so i got a lot of complaints once when i did a fic about there not being enough *NONYAOI* relationships which is totally baka!

Kyo: Yeah, but do you know what else is foolish? Thinking that this fic's awesome.

so i will put in my most favorite nonyaoi ship in here too i hope u liek it)

Miyu, Jessie: We won't!
Cassy: We do liek Mudkipz, though.
Kyo: I didn't; my starter was Torchic.

mira was walking down the halls of star command when she saw booster and she said, "hello booster!" she jumped on booster and hugged him and started crying.

Jessie: Someone really has that "Random Mood Syndrome" today...

"whats wrong mira?" he said to her because she was crying

All: Duh!

"i was just thinking about my childhoid and how sad it was cus i was a princess and my dad would never let me go anywhere!" and she started crying again

Miyu: Well, that certainly came out of nowhere. Coffee, anyone?

"mira oh no im so sorry!" booster said and then he kissed her and mira was happy to have booster as her bf!

All: *flatly* What.

mira pulled back her wrists and then she slit them because even though booster was her bf she was still upset becuse she never told him that she was raped by her father when she was a child and would never tell booster this because she wus afraid that if she did then he woldnt love her anymore and it would be really really really sad and shed probably commit suicide

Cassy: Okay, can we let this clone off herself so the real and fearless Mira can come in her place?
Kyo: Yeah. By the way, this fic sure loves to throw in rape for the hell of it, huh?
Miyu: Unfortunately.

booster was really upset but he just hugged mira and then they kissed and went back to mira's room and had hot chocolate together

Jessie: Yes... "hot chocolate".
Miyu: *shudders*

(a/n ok back to the kawaii yaoi! ^_^ )

Kyo: Oh, god. Help me...

"oh no warp i look so silly in this!" zurg said and blushed because he was in a frilly pink sweet lolita dress and it was really pretty but he was a guy so it was weird for him to be wearing it because he was cross dressing!

Jessie: What a wonderful run-on sentence!

"no u look hot!" warp said because he was wearing a leather dress that exposed his rly hot 6 pack and he changed the song on his ipod to something by utada hikaru because she was a rly good singer

Miyu: That's not a fact, madam.

"you really think so?" zurg said and blushed because he was totally the uke in the relationship and warp was the seme

Kyo: Yeah, that's nice. Now explain it to those who don't know everything about anime and manga, lady.
Cassy: Yeah, especially when you're considering that the anime crap's being crammed into a fanfiction of an American cartoon!

nos-4a2 and nubula were in the other room and nos screamed, "you have tight shoulders MMYYYYMM~! LOVELY!" he screamed!

Miyu: Oh, great! Now he's deaf!

(no they weren't having that stop being so perverse NYAAANN~! /;; )

All: Says you!

but zurg and warp were also giving each other back massesges

Jessie: *as an answering machine* Your back has seven unread messages...

and they were going, "NYYYNN AND MMYYHHMM" like all good yaoi couples do. (but not in taht way!)

Cassy: Dude, can you shut up so we can read your crap here?

so after everyone was done with their back massages they came out of their rooms and were very happy and sensible and relaxed!

Kyo: Yes, they're all enjoying their active and terribly done fanfic lifestyles in their new hair!

ty and xr weren't going to hot because they had hit a rough patch in their relationship because ty had been cheating on xr with nubula's desk

Miyu: This author has some really odd kinks...
Jessie: "Odd" is quite an understatement, Miyu.

(nubula's desk was bit by nos and then it became alive so he looked like ichigo kurosaki but robotic so the desk was pretty hot now /;;; )

Kyo: What. The. Hell.
Jessie: *turns to the reading audience* The password is... "psychiatrist".

so xr was really upset with ty but ty was inlove with nubula's desk who called himself satoshi now

All: *flatly* What.

so satoshi said to ty, "ty i think i love you!"

Miyu: *singing* So what am I so afraid of?

and ty said, "i love you too!"

Cassy: *as Ty* I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

so then ty and satoshi started making out and xr walked in and xr started crying but then ty said "xr its ok we can make it a THR33S0M3"

Miyu: For heaven's sake, you're supposed to be a writer. Spell out the words, would you?

and then XR was really happy and then he went over and started to make out with both of them and they got 'orange juice' everywhere. (w!)

Jessie: Great. I can never look at that liquid in the same way again.
Kyo: Speak for yourself. I had some to wash down my breakfast today.

so xr, satoshi, and ty started to get married and everyone was there and even warp and zurg and nos-4-a2 in their dresses because they were so happy that ty and satoshi and xr were getting married that they had turned good!

Miyu: Wow, the bible thumpers could never do a conversion of that caliber.

(a/n: I hope you liked it!

All: We didn't!

i'm really happy I could give u this kawaaii fanfic of mine it took me forever to write

Kyo: Lies!
Cassy: No, it's kinda true, Kyo. I mean, she had to smash her head against the keyboard, pass out, and recover just enough to upload it.

so PLZ READ AND REVIEW SO I'LL DO MORE PLZ BE HONEST AND TELL ME WHAT U THINK!

Jessie: Honestly? It stunk worse than "Gigli".

thanx i may write a seeqeuel if someone wants me to! ~^_^~ ~nyyaaaan!)

Kyo: Please tell me that this is a short.
Cassy: It's not. Sorry, dude.
Kyo: Jessie?
Jessie: I'm not killing you, Kyo.
Kyo: Damn it!

Chapter 2 NYAAAANN!

Kyo: Ffffuuuuuu--

a/n: hi i'm writing another chapter becuse i rly want reviews plz plz plz!

Cassy: Somebody's desperate for attention there...

But any ways i'm still on my friend's account i'm sorry but i'm still going to be continuing my story,

Jessie: I'm sorry that I'm still reading this.

I hope you enjoy it i put some more drama into it~!

Miyu: *sarcastically* Yes, that will make everything better.

NYAAANN~! ~^_^~

Kyo: Stop your fake kitty crap, you!

nos-4-a2, zurg, and warp had turned good and were now living at star command.

Jessie: I didn't know that robot kinks could turn you into a good guy.
Cassy: Domo Arigato, Mister Roboto.
Kyo: *groans*

nos-4-a2 and nubula were not getting along still after nos-4-a2 had raped him.

All: We wonder why!

however nos-4-a2 was planning a prom at star command and everyone was invited because nos-4-a2 never got to go to his highschool prom because he was a robot.

Cassy: How about looking at the fact that robots don't need to go to school in the first place?

so then nos-4-a2 asked nubula to come with him but nubula said no.

All: Dur-hay!

so nos-4-a2 went to his room and started to cry because nubula didn't love him.

Kyo: What kind of ass-backwards fic is this?! You raped him, you fucking idiot!
Miyu: You know what? I propose that we drink for every time that somebody cries or starts to cry.
Jessie: Fair enough.

ty parsex and satoshi were sort of in a relationship but then again they weren't becasue satoshi was getting bored of ty.

Jessie: Therefore, they aren't in a relationship. Problem solved.

xr didn't like satoshi at all, so one night while in their room xr said to ty, "ty why don't you love me anymore?

Cassy: Look, he's boning a desk. I think he likes things that don't move as much.
Miyu: You do realize that the desk always had a mind of its own in the show, Cassidy.
Cassy: I know, but... come on, Miyu. It's a desk.

so then ty went, "because satoshi is so much nicer than you!" and with a huff he turned around and faced the wall

Kyo: And then he boned the wall.
Miyu: Oh, come on, Kyo!

XR started to cry

All: Drink!

and went "but ty I thought we were boyfriends?"

Miyu: *pushes glasses up* Well, technically, it's more like a man and robot thing. But you do you.

and then ty said, "no we aren't stop it you stupid little robot!" and then he hit xr in the head and then xr started to cry!

Kyo: Another drink already? Jesus.
Cassy: Why's XR starting to cry... when he's also starting to cry? I'm confused.

how could ty do this to him?

Jessie: For shits and giggles.

xr ran out of the room and went down the hall into the lunchroom and hit his head on the table when he rolled by!

Cassy: Man, for a robot, he's blind as crap.

"AH! BAKA TABLE!" he screamed and kicked the table.

Jessie: And then Kyo kicked him for even more abuse of one of his native languages.
Kyo: Thanks, Jess.

"XR!" Booster said as he ran down the hall, "why are you calling the table an idiot?"

Cassy: *as XR* Because it was there! I had to verbally abuse something!

"Nani?" xr said and turned around surprised to see booster there "Konichiwa Booster-san."

Miyu: Pardon me, but isn't it supposed to be "Booster-chan"? I mean, he is his buddy.
Kyo: Logic's dead, buried, and rotting, honey.

he said and then sighed. he was still upset about ty dumping him.

Jessie: Wow. You really must suck some major ass in bed if you're being dumped for a desk.

Booster waved to xr and said, "So xr are you going to the prom today?"

xr looked at booster and then he blushed because secretly xr had a crush on nos-4-a2

Miyu: So, a robot has the hots for a vampire... who sucks the energy... from robots?
Cassy: *scratches her head* Uh...
Miyu: *places her face in her hands* Gah, this makes no sense any more.

"i don't know if i'm going to go."

Booster sighed and said "well taht's too bad"

so xr waved goodbye to booster then looked outside the window and saw the birds flying by and then said

Kyo: *as XR* Why the hell are there birds flying by in space?

"i wish ty or nos-4-a2 would love me. Nani they don't love me? ~nyo?"

Cassy: Jeez, I thought that somebody could love something that doesn't tire out. Space is one weird spot.

(a/n: i'm going to introduce my oc now~! ^_^)

Jessie: *rolls her eyes* I guess we're too stupid to read on our own, huh?

xr was walking along the hallway when he heard the prom music but he wasn't looking anywhere so he bumped into someone!

All: We know it's your stupid OC!

"Nani Nani!" Miharu said as she rubbed her head, "why did you bump into me?"

Jessie: Because his eyesight's screwed up.
Miyu: I guess we don't need a description of the language abuser, either.

Miharu was a cat demon so she always had cat ears and a tail but when she transformed into her demon form she grew fangs and claws. she had natural purple hair with pink highlights and she was a space ranger.

Kyo: You happy with the description, Miyu?
Miyu: Not really.
Kyo: Me neither.

"oh sorry!" xr said and rubbed his head "i was just walking and i wasn't paying attention ~nyan."

Cassy: Um, when did he turn into a cat? Is this from another scene that we missed or something?

"Aah, sugoi desu ne!" Miharu said and smiled at xr "do you want to go to the prom with me?"

Kyo: And then he responds with "Hai".

xr said "sure!"

Miyu: And then the prom was great. The End.
Cassy: And then an odd sex scene happened. The Real End.

so Miharu and xr went down to the prom that nos-4-a2 was running and everyone was really jealous of Miharu because she was with xr!

Jessie: *sarcastically* Yep, I'm so jealous! Give me more of that jealousy!

ty was upset but he and satoshi left early to go back to ty's room and do things with each other (^/^!)

Kyo: The lesson? Angry sex can be awesome!

but mira was really upset because xr was with someone else and she secretly didn't lvoe booster anymore.

Jessie: Buzz Lightyear, "Jerry Springer" Style.

but it was ok

All: How?!

because osma came to the prom too.

Miyu: I guess that answers the "how".

"hi osma" mira said and blushed

"hi mira" osma said and blushed as well

Cassy: "peace out" cassy said and threw away her copy of the fic

"osma there is something i have to say to you... anno... eettooo..." she said and then put her finger on her lips while she was thinking and she was blushing so hard

"its ok mira i know what your going to say" osma said and then smiled and kissed mira.

Jessie: *sarcastically* Oh, the drama!

(a/n: I KNOW ITS NOT YAOI BUT ITS YURI AND YURI IS OK TOO. IF YOU DON'T LIKE YURI YOUR HOMOPHOBE BAKA BAKAS! / )

Kyo: Actually, I discriminate against annoying and loud people like you. Happy?

so then booster saw mira and he screamed "NANI?" and ran out of the room and cried.

Miyu: Wow, everyone's crying enough to fill up two trashcans!
Jessie: And if this crying crap continues, I'm going to be so wasted.

nos-4-a2 saw booster run out and frowned because he didnt want people at his prom to be sad so he put on some j-pop so he put on Mirai E by Kiroro

Kyo: If the music is supposed to make everyone happy, then why am I seriously bored?

Hora ashimoto wo mitegoran Kore ga anata no ayumu michi Hora mae wo mitegoran Are ga anata no mirai

Haha ga kureta takusan no yasashisa Ai wo idaite ayume to kurikaeshita Ano toki wa mada osanakute imi nado shiranai Sonna watashi no te wo nigiri Issho ni ayundekita

Yume wa itsumo sora takaku aru kara Todokanakute kowai ne dakedo oitsuzukeru no Jibun no SUTOORII dakara koso akirametakunai Fuan ni naru to te wo nigiri Issho ni ayundekita

sono yasashi wo toki ni wa iyagari Hanareta haha e sunao ni narezu

Hora ashimoto wo mitegoran Kore ga anata no ayumu michi Hora mae wo mitegoran Are ga anata no mirai

Mirai e mukatte yukkuri to aruite yukou

Kyo, Jessie, Cassy: *snores*
Miyu: Oh, my! And I thought that only Sonic would fall asleep in the middle of fics. Maybe I should let them sleep for the rest of this chapter... I guess it's no big deal.

the prom went really well after that but then buzz came in with a gun

Miyu: A gun? I thought that he had a laser in his suit. Why does he need a gun?

and pointed it at Miharu and screamed "i know you are a demon!" and

Miyu: ...then John was a zombie.

everyone gasped because they had no idea miharu was a demon!

Miyu: And then they had a demon fry on Saturday. Pretty neat.

so Miharu gasped and screamed because she didnt know what was going to happen next!

Miyu: *waves her hands* Like a crummy cliffhanger! Whoo!

(a/n: is it good?

Miyu: I don't think so. I mean, it made my boyfriend and my friends fall asleep.

plz review ^_^ i'll write more! )

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Actually, I kind of wished that this fic had received the "give me reviews so I can post more" treatment.

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