Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Black Crow Crew, Episode 6: miharu's story of star comand (Part Two)

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Chapter 3 miharu's close call!

Kyo: If her "close call" has nothing to do with her nearly dying or her fur being shaved off or burned, I want no part of this.

a/n: Nyaaan! I'm sorry this took so long i was rly busy and my baka parents grounded me!

Jessie: If it's for your spelling, then they're not really idiots for grounding you.

ok so on with the show nyaan!

Miyu: *rocking back and forth in her seat* Please make the hurting end. Please.

^_^

Cassy: x_x

Miharu gasped after buzz had found out her real idenity as a demon.

Miyu: So basically, she gasped twice.

however she was not in full demon form which she grew into a 6 tailed neko demon with red eyes that glared like fire and her hair was flaming red with yellow at the tips but she only went into this form when really really angry or really really upset because otherwise she would destroy the universe.

Kyo: This is what happens when the Hulk turns into a "Neko Demon", people.

Miharu was reminded of her past and she started to cry

Cassy: How many people have stupid emo backstories in this fic?!
Jessie: And how many drinks must I take?

because buzz reminded her of her father when her father would say to miharu to leave the house back in japan

Kyo: Oh-ho, you ain't from Japan, lady! Get out!

because her famiyl was cursed to be neko demons forever but it gave them super speed and super grace and super smarts

Jessie: And this is super stupid.

but her father thought that these were too bad fort hem so they had to not be cursed anymore so miharu was looking for a talisman so that she could uncurse her family from the curse of the neko curse.

Miyu: According to my sources, that's known as the "plot curse".

miharu had natural purple when she wasn't in demon full form with pink highlgihts, though, and it was very radiant and pretty .

Cassy: I reject that claim.

She was really skinny and most girls were jealous of her skinniness.

Jessie: *woodenly* Oh, no! I'm jealous of a rail thin Mary Sue! Whatever shall I do?

Plus, Miharu had a big breast size which made

Kyo: ...her snap in half.

most girls extremely jealous of her and guys love her but she wasn't a slut

All: *stares at the screen*
Jessie: Yes. Because having giant breasts automatically makes you a "slut". *sarcastically* Nice logic.

and was also extremely smart but she wasnt a nerd or anything

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Hey... I'm mildly offended here.

and she could hang out with any social group even the popular kids or the jocks.

Cassy: And future felons! Being a people person's neat!

miharu had one gold eye and one red eye and they could change colors if she wanted them to change colors.

Jessie: Really? Is there a color for "long-winded description"?

so miharu joined star command so she could hepl find the talisman and become human again but she wouldnt walways be human becasue she would still retain her neko ears and tail and her super strength and speed but she would never turn into her evil demon form again!

Kyo: So, the search for the talisman is basically going to be a waste. What the hell's the point, then?!

miharu started to cry

All: *sighs* Drink...

but then xr stepped infront of miharu and said "buzz i am miharus boyfriend and i liove her!"

Cassy: No, you don't. That's "lust", and you'll only be dating for two minutes like everyone else here.

miharu gasped then kissed xr on the cheek and xr blushed

Jessie: All this cheesy romance crap's making me want to gag now.

buzz then screamed "no! Miharu you are a demon and i must vaniqush you!"

Miyu: *as Buzz* Have at you, foul villain!

but then miharu said "but buzz i am a good demon!"

Kyo: *ignites a flame* Yeah? Well, you're not doing a good job of convincing me that you are.

so then buzz jumped on miharu and rippd off part of her dress and

Miyu: ...then another bad "rape as sex" scene was written.

mihuru started to get angry and

Jessie: ...then she wondered why the author misspelled her own Mary Sue's name.
Miyu: ...then she threw her phone on the couch.
Cassy: ...then her psychic powers went haywire, and... oops. Wrong story.
Kyo: You're comparing "Carrie" to this junk? You're nuts, Kitty.

she grew larger and turned into her 6 tailed nejo

Kyo: "Nejo"?! I'm sifting through fangirl Japanese, and now there's fake Spanish, too?

demon form and her paws had cresent moons on them and stars on her fur as well as she grew bigger.

Cassy: Yeah, that's nice. See, my show's almost on, so get to the part where I care.
Miyu: That's why the DVR was invented, Cassidy.

She jumped on buzz and then started to tear him limb from limb and then

Jessie: ...he managed to slip away while his limbs were half ripped off.

buzz shot her in the head and she screamed and

Kyo: ...she died?! Good! I was getting sick of reading this crap, anyway!
Miyu: Wait, how the heck did he do that if his limbs were allegedly ripped off?
Jessie: Logic. Stop using it.

went out of her neko demon full form and then turned back into miharu (but since she got the shot in her neko demon full form it didn't aeffect her normal form)

Miyu, Jessie, Cassy: *flatly* What.
Kyo: *as Bernie Mac* This is some bull.

then Miharu started to cry

Jessie: If this crying and drinking keeps up, I'm probably going to end up dancing topless on the kitchen table while I use the tea kettle top for a hat.
Kyo, Miyu, Cassy: *stares at Jessie*
Jessie: Stop looking at me.

and XR comforted her. buzz also saw miharu crying and while he was bloody he passed out in a pool of his own blood

Cassy: But since he's not Miharu, screw him. Now back to our "story".

Miharu gasped because she saw buzz.

Kyo: I gasped because I was drowning in fail.

she went over to his dying body and said

Miyu: *as Miharu* I'm the new star of this show! Ha!

"buzz lightyear, you can not die because your team and your star command needs you!" she started to cry again

Jessie: *hiccups, giggles* Pardon.
Cassy: If I had a nickel for every time someone bawls, I'd be one rich cat.
Kyo: *in a British accent* Do I have to fetch your top hat and cane now?
Cassy: *in a British accent* Please, Jeeves.
Kyo: *in a British accent* Bite me, madam. You'll have my resignation note on your desk tomorrow.

and then when she cried onto buzz, her tears closed up all of his wounds.

Miyu: Could she be any more sparkly?

everyone gasped at miharu's healing power and

Jessie: ...everyone reading this began to look for a better fanfic.

miharu realized this and giggled, "what you didn't know i could do that? ~nyan?"

Kyo: Did you know that I have the potential to ship you off to China for experimental food purposes, Miharu?
Miyu: Cut it out, Kyo.

buzz woke up and then hugged miharu and said "i am sorry miharu for being so mean to you, I have been such a baka and i want to make it up to you"

Cassy: I hope he shoots her again after he says that sentence.

miharu smiled and then said "but buzz, you don't have to i am just glad that we are still friends" and miharu giggled and buzz smiled at her.

Miyu: Friends? He shot you in the head. I don't see what's so friendly about that.

"no but i have to make it up to you" buzz said and then said "i will let you become commander of 42!"

All: *flatly* What.

everyone gasped and then miharu said "but 42 is such a loser and no one likes her at all even the ship that she came from is lame!"

Jessie: *rolls her eyes* Yes, I'm sure that the ship's feelings are hurt, sweetie.

and everyone started laughuig because miharu had such an awesome sense of humor

Cassy: Hell, I don't know if Dane Cook's funnier than her after reading that "sentence".
Kyo: Nope. He never was that funny to begin with.

"sugoi desu ne!" nos-4-a2 said "you are so kind miharu to buzz"

Miyu: Of course. Nothing's friendlier than ripping everyone's appendages apart.

buzz then said "well i will build you a new ship

Cassy: With what money?

and you can have mira, booster, and xr!"

Jessie: Your partners aren't trading cards, Lightyear!

and then Miharu and XR blushed because they were going steady now.

Miyu: Correction: They've now been dating for four minutes.
Cassy: So... the sixth minute is marriage, then?
Miyu: *shrugs* Yeah, I guess.

So Buzz built Miharu the new ship and miharu was the captain and

Kyo: ...everyone burned their copies of the fic after reading that.

buzz, mira, booster, and xr were on the ship with her and mira said "waiting for orders captain!"

Cassy: I would've overruled the Sue's orders and tried to overthrow her in a mutiny.
Kyo: You ain't the only one, Cass.

miharu said "go~NYAAAANNN!" and the ship took off (they named it the midori because her favioite color was green! ^_^ )

Miyu: No, not "they". You gave the ship that horrible name.
Jessie: And I named my quickly built spaceship "The Facepalm". You know why I did that.

so they took off but when they did they got a signal that siad that

Cassy: ...the engines failed.

zurg had turned evil again and was now on the move so they were following zurg and his ship!

Kyo: It was probably due to the fact that he wasn't humping Nebula's desk -- I mean, Satoshi.

"miharu!" xr screamed "we have to protect the ship!"

Jessie: Don't you mean follow the ship?
Cassy: That's why he was never the leader.

"I know nyaan!" she said back because she was completely calm even though everyone else was freaking out.

Kyo: I wonder if she'll remain completely calm when she's thrown into a volcano.

so the ship sped off towards planet Z!

Miyu: Why didn't they try to get on the ship so see if Zurg was on it instead of -- oh, forget it.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Jessie: Why? Just... why?

a/n: i hope you liked it~NYAAANN!

All: We didn't.

^_^

Cassy: .-.
Jessie: Will that be your last response face?
Cassy: Yeah, I'm kinda tired of making them.

I hope to write more!

Kyo: Hallelujah, we finally have a coherent sentence!

Chapter 4 miharu's mysterious past! oo!

All: *making ghostly noises*

a/n: ok so im working rly hard on this

Jessie: Unfortunately, you didn't work hard enough to press the spellcheck button.

i hope u like this next instalment ~NYAAANN! ^_^

Cassy: Did I mention that I'm ashamed to be a cat right now?
Kyo: Don't know why it took you so long to bring that up... kawaii neko.
Cassy: Desu.
Kyo: *snickers*

as the ship sped off towards planet z miharu kept her cool as she was the captain now since buzz had given her the ship.

Miyu: I just remembered something... what happened to her training?
Cassy: Mary Sues don't need it. It's a fact.

xr was scared but he saw miharu calm so he calmed down too.

Kyo: *as Miharu* Dance, puppets! Dance!

mira was sort of upset but she tried to hide it but then she burst out sobbing.

Jessie: *slightly slurring* More tears, whee!
Cassy: Oh, boy. This is our first fic after we're flung out of space, and Jessie's halfway wasted.
Jessie: *clears her throat* I'm not that drunk... yet.

"miharu we need help!" she said while the ship was being shot at

Miyu: No, you need help. How the heck did you turn from a fearless woman into a blubbering mess, anyway?
Kyo: Because it's "The Miharu Show".

"no we don't need help!" miharu said "we are a strong team and we stick together!"

Cassy: Chill out, y'all! She's got this!

because of that both mira and booster smiled and said "yes captain!" and continued manning their sations.

Jessie: What's a "sation"?
Miyu: Heck, I don't know.

when they arrived on planet z they parked the ship in a place where zurg wouldnt find it so they could sneak in his palace.

Kyo: So they hid it in the Plot Device Tunnel. A bunch of Diglett and Dugtrio created it.

miharu said to booster and mira to deefend the ship to defend it against hornets because they were looking for the ship because they knew that miharu and her team was coming to planet z.

Cassy: Because they had to defend their defending.
Miyu: Yes, and the hornets were only a minor business owned by the large conglomerate known as Zurg.
Jessie: Zurg Inc.

"miharu im scared!" xr said and clutched miharu's legs

"its ok!" miharu said and gave him a quick hug "we will get through this together!"

Cassy: Insert stock "We'll get through this fic together!" response here.
Jessie: Insert "Uh-huh"s here.

when they went into the throne room they burst in and said "zurg! put your hands up this is miharu of the space rangers and i am here to stop you! ~NYAN!"

Kyo: And then Zurg shot her. The End.
Miyu: Great, now they're all Miharu!

zurg turned around and said "i am glad to see you... DAUGHTER!"

All: *flatly* What.

"NANI!" miharu said then gasped.

All: That's what we said! In English!

xr gasped too because he had no diea that miharu was zurgs daughter

Cassy: Dude, how does a... whatever... create... that? I'm confused.

"yes dont you remember i am your father!" zurg laughed.

Kyo: Darth Vader-1.5's her dad? Yeah, and I'm filled with love, sunshine, and lollipops.

miharu gasped because she remembered that zurg was actually her father!

Jessie: And then she gasped because she saw that I'm now taking shots for every gasp as well! Whee!

"you are evil! you made me have a terrible childhood! i hate you!" miharu cried.

Miyu: This has got to be the world's fastest family reunion here.
Jessie: *giggles*
Miyu: Is the giggling a response to my riff or your shot?
Jessie: I think it's the shot. The bubbly stuff makes me feel so happy...
Miyu: I can tell.

then zurg swooped her up into his arms and cuddled her and wiped away her tears

Kyo: ...and then he flew through some crappy rings, Superman style.

"it is fine miharu i did it for a reason you see" zurg said.

Cassy: *as Zurg* Ha-ha, ho-ho, hee-hee!

xr was confused but he sat down by zurg and alsio listed

Miyu: ...the various implausibilities of this family tree.

"you see you are the reincarnation of the souls of different egyptian and greek gods.

Kyo: What the hell is this? Am I watching "Ermac In Ancient Times" here?
Cassy: *as Ermac* We are Pharaoh.

you have the heart of osiris and you were cast out of heaven because you were too perfect so they cursed you and you

Jessie: *as Zurg* ...became even more perfect.

landed here and i raised you like my own daughter."

Cassy: Therefore, you aren't her biological dad. What was the point?

miharu gasped and she

Kyo: ...watched Jessie take another shot.
Jessie: Whee!

remembered everything about her past including her father and how she was actually the reincatntiaton of all of thsoe gods

Miyu: Did we miss the part where she was hooked up to an instant memory machine?

xr gasped because he had no idea that miharu was those gods

Cassy: He also gasped because he saw Jessie drink again.
Jessie: *hiccups* Yippee!
Kyo: Hell, I'd chug a whole bottle of arsenic just for the blatant Mary Sueness alone.

miharu hugged zurg and then thanked him for reminding her and zurg said "i only pretended to be evil again so that you would come to my palance and then learn the truth behind you"

Miyu: On the next episode of "Plot Device Theater"...

so miharu left the palace with and zurg stopped being evil again

Cassy: Uh, who did she leave the palace with?
Miyu: I don't know.
Jessie: *slightly slurring* Wait, how can he stop being evil when he was only pretending, huh?
Miyu: I still don't know.
Jessie: *giggles* Wow... I'm half drunk, and I can still find missing logic.
Kyo: There ain't no logic, Jess.

and then xr said on the way back to the ship "miharu i didnt know you had such na intersting past"

Cassy: I have a word for that... and it ain't "interesting".

and miharu paused and said that "i didnt either until now but i am glad we found out together"

and then xr blushed and said "hai."

Kyo: This's corny as all holy hell, I'm sorry.

when they got back to the shipt hey went back to star command and then xr and miharu went back to their room together and they starrted to talka nd xr proposed to miharu in her room and miharu gasped and said yes and then hugged xr.

Miyu: And the eighth minute involves pregnancy.
Jessie: I hope you're wrong, Miyu.
Miyu: Me, too.

"miharu i am so glad we could get married i hope our wedding is sugoi!" he said then kissed her.

Cassy: I hope someone crashes it. Hard.

so the next day they got married together and the entire space station was really happy!

All: We weren't.

even buzz was there.

Miyu: Therefore, Buzz was one half of the space station.

mira was sniffing because she was so happy and booster was too.

Jessie: She must've been sniffing paint by the way she was acting.

everyone was really excited for xr and miharu to get married and the wedding was

Kyo: ...bombed by an F-16 fighter jet.

great.

Kyo: Damn.

miharu was wearing a frilly white gown with lace on it and had a boquee of pink and purple flowers that xr had gotten for her and xr was in a tuxedo.

Miyu: Wait, you'd pass a plot point at breakneck speed, but Miharu's dress is described in detail? Peachy.
Cassy: I'd hate to see how the author would describe their clothing if they ever became homeless or something.

so after the wedding they went back to their room and had s3x and then

Miyu: ...S-Three-X was invented, whatever that means!
Jessie: Is that supposed to spell out "SSSX" or "SXXX"? I'm confused.
Cassy: I'd say the latter. It is "sex", after all.
Jessie: Are you sure?
Cassy: Not really. I used that word loosely, dude.

miharu came out later and said "xr im pregnant!"

Jessie: Say what?
Kyo: Damn! That's the fastest egg fertilization I've ever seen!
Miyu: And the tenth minute involves a birth. I'm on a moldy roll here.
Cassy: Wait a minute! XR's a robot! How the hell can he knock her up?
Kyo: Take a sip of this arsenic and try to ask that question again.
Cassy: Oh, put that away, Fox Boy. And how do you manage to get your hands on that stuff, anyway?
Kyo: I have my sources, Kitty.

and xr gasped and said that it was wonderful!

Jessie: *slurring* And I... I took another shot and said that this fic defied more logic than "My Immortal"!

TOO BEE CONTINUED! ^/^

Kyo: *burns his copy of the fic* Bzzt.

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