Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Riffer Recruits Episode 1: Catwoman: Rebirth (Part Three)

--

Chapter: 5

Clean Kitty

Miyuki: I don't think I need to know about that kitty.
Tomoko: Not that one, Fujiwara. Get your mind out of the gutter, for Christ's sake.

Isis lazily rolled over up onto all fours. Felix also did this and in unison they shared a big catlike stretch. Isis scratched the black cat behind the ear, "Well good morning Felix."

Akiko: *as she twirls her toy hammer* Oh, the symbology!
Tails: Thrilling, isn't it?

Isis tried to wipe her crusted tears off her face. No good, this was going to take soap and water.

Tomoko: Yeah, spit can only take you so far.

Isis pushed herself up off the cozy bed groaning. She felt so icky. Serves me right for falling asleep in my clothes. Isis tiredly stumbled into the bathroom.

Tails: Well, if that's her only pair of clothes, it's really not her fault. I mean, she ran about after her mother died, and she got exhausted after a long day. Why wouldn't she pass out in her clothes?

She had not noticed it until now, but the apartment room looked very antique. She probably didn't realize it last night because she was so tired.

Miyuki: Yeah, I go look at every last piece of stuff in there when I'm dog tired, too.

Everything in the room was not very updated.

Tomoko: Which is what "antique" means, doofus.

But the antiqueness actually made the place very pretty looking and spacious.

Isis turned on the facet water and splashed the cool water on her face. It was so refreshing. With the crustiness now gone Isis could be fully awake. She looked over at the toilet space. A few towels were neatly folded and stacked on the seat. Maven had come in earlier and put them there for Isis when she woke up, "How nice of her," Isis spoke aloud to herself. She picked up a towel and dried her face.

Akiko: Thrilling.

She laid the towel on the basin and looked up at the mirror in front of her. The mirror was kind of dirty and her reflection was blurry. She looked around the whole bathroom. It was kind of nasty. There was dust and cobwebs everywhere, "I'm gonna have a lot of work to do on this place. Starting with this room. I really need a bath," Isis decided she would need some cleaning supplies. She didn't have any of her own, so she would have to borrow them from Maven.

Tails: *while browsing on his Miles Electric* Too many details... the readers will get bored.
Tomoko: I've been bored since we started this thing, Prower.
Miyuki: You're always bored when we riff fanfics.
Tomoko: Better bored than caving my skull in, Fujiwara.

She went to see Maven, but before she left the apartment she hesitated at the door. There was the sign again. Isis took the sign down and wiped the dust off. She opened the door and put the sign on the on the other side for all to know that this apartment was officially 'The Cat Lair'.

Akiko: And we're repeating a title drop from two chapters ago! Whoo-hoo!

Isis knocked on Maven's apartment door. Mavis was quick to answer, "Well good morning Sel--…sorry, Isis."

Tomoko: The hell? Now there's a Maven and a Mavis?
Tails: Yeah, you might as well pretend that there are three people instead of two here now.

"Morning. Hey, do you think I could borrow any cleaning supplies?"

"Well sure. Why don't you come inside and have some breakfast?" Maven made a little hand motion for Isis to come in.

Isis thought about this, "Well, I don't think so. I feel really icky right now. I haven't even changed clothes. All I can focus on right now is cleaning up that bathroom and taking a nice bath."

Miyuki: Would be best if she got some water or juice as well.

Maven looked a little disappointed but understood, "Alright then. Come on inside so I can get you your supplies."

Isis came in and sat on the couch while Maven retrieved the supplies from a near by closet. She came out of the closet with a box full of cleaner, "This should be enough," she handed the box to Isis, "Just bring it back when you're done."

"Thank you so much. I'll probably be working on 'The Cat Lair' all day," Isis turned to leave Maven's place.

Maven was surprised, "Wait!" Isis turned around, "What did you called your apartment?"

"Oh, 'The Cat Lair'. I found a sign on the door and Felix and I decided that we'd call our room 'The Cat Lair'."

Maven looked a little relieved, "Oh, cute name."

Tails: *barely paying any attention to the fic* Uh-huh.
Miyuki: Yeah, Emi's chamomile tea is going to have to move over, because this boring fic can knock any one of us out real quick.

Isis got back to 'The Cat Lair' and began cleaning. The cleaner it became the more beauty of the room was revealed. When she was satisfied with the state of the bathroom, she began drawing herself a hot bath. Not a shower.

Tomoko: Oh, god. We were told about a billion times that she was going to take a stupid bath! Was that "not a shower" crap really necessary?
Akiko: Probably helped for those who fell asleep along the way.

She was in the mood for a nice long soak. The tub was pretty big in size. I was a very nice tub.

Akiko: *begins laughing* The narrator just turned into a tub?
Tails: Oh, the magic of typos.

The tub was full of water.

Tomoko: No, really? I thought it would be filled with ice cream!
Akiko: I'd like a tub full of ice cream, actually...

Isis took off her clothes and stepped into the tub. The water was steamy, "Ahh…how good," Isis sunk deeper into the tub until she was neck deep in water.

Miyuki: *writes* And Miyuki contemplated falling asleep, because holy crap, this fic was starting to bore her to death.

Her trusty friend Isis decided to join her. He joined up on the toilet seat and began licking himself.

Tomoko: Wait, what the hell? Did she morph into a cat, or did the cat decide to change his name?
Tails: Oh, the magic of inconsistency.

"Do you feel icky too Felix?"

The cat looked up at her as if saying 'yes' and then went back to cleaning himself.

Tails: *as Felix* Stupid Captain Obvious human...

Finally Isis was happy and clean. She stood up in the tub and Felix jumped off the toilet and out of the bathroom so as not to get dripped on. She stepped out on to a fuzzy rug and grabbed a towel, which she had now placed in a cabinet under the sink. She wrapped it the towel around her and headed over to her still-packed bag. She got out so comfortable clothes that she could clean in and started unpacking the rest of her clothes

Miyuki: I have no freakin' idea what's going on in that last sentence there.

She laid out all of her on the bed—which she could now see, had a crimson red velvet comforter. All of her clothes were pretty wrinkled. She packet pretty fast the night before and the clothes weren't properly folded. She stopped and looked around the room. A lot of furniture was still cover with dusty rags, "Now maybe there's a drawer around here somewhere."

She got to work on uncovering all of the furniture and putting all the sheets in a pile next to the exit. Fortunately, there were all types of furniture that would come in handy. There was no needed accommodation that she did not have. The furniture and appliances were nice looking but it looked like Isis would have to live pretty primitively for awhile. But all these things were starting to make her questionable, why would Grandma be in such a hurry that she would leave all this nice stuff?

Tomoko: *now asleep*
Akiko: *pokes Tomoko*
Miyuki: Yeah. Emi's tea has a new rival. This bland as heck fic.

Isis got her stuff squared away and was now working on lots of other forms of cleaning. Such was dusting, sweeping, moving furniture, etc. Doing all she could to make the place more homey. As she was cleaning, she heard a knock at the door.

Isis went over to answer the door, "Oh hello Maven. Come on in."

Maven walked in, "The place is looking real nice Isis. You're doing a great job," she stopped to look around the room that was now almost dust free, "You haven't gone through the stack of boxes yet, have you…?" Maven asked, looking a nervous.

"Oh no, not yet."

Maven was looking a little easier now, "Oh good, because I'd like use to go through them together sometime."

Isis narrowed one eyebrow, "Well how about we go through them right now?"

Akiko, Miyuki: No!

"No, no, no!" Maven was quick to answer.

Akiko: *sighs in relief*
Miyuki: Thank you! There is a god!
Tails: Hopefully that same god could prevent the other "Fifty Shades" films and books from being made, too.

Isis was a little confused, but decided that she rather look through them later too.

Tails: Then why did you suggest to go through them now?

Maven looked around at all the uncovered furniture, "Brings back memories," she sighed, "Listen Isis, you've been cleaning all day."

"Well I'm just fine," Isis shook her head and protested.

Miyuki: Yeah, you say that now... *pokes Tomoko*

"I know this club for young one your age called 'The Juice Bar'. You should go tonight and meet some new people. In Gotham, you're going to need friends."

Akiko: *sarcastically* Yeah, those two are totally not going to meet now!

Isis sat down on a black leather, now uncovered couch looking a little uneasy, "Well, don't you think it's a little early for that?"

Maven sat down next to her, "Well of course not. You start school on Monday."

"School!" Isis rested her head on her hand.

Tomoko: *slowly wakes up* Who said somethin' about school?
Tails: The fic did.
Tomoko: Oh. And let me guess, she knows everything?
Tails: We don't know about that yet... well, unless Akiko wants to read ahead.

"Yes Isis. I want you to carry on with your life…your new life," Maven put her arm around Isis.

Isis looked up feeling a little more confident, "You're exactly right! I guess I could go. I could use a little fun…" Isis lost her confidence, "I really don't have anything to wear."

Miyuki: Like Terry's balls.
Tomoko: Oh, come on, Fujiwara.

Maven had an idea, "Wait! Stay put, I'll be right back!" Maven walked over to the stacked boxes but Isis couldn't see what she was doing from her point of view.

After a few minutes of rustling Maven walked out to where Isis could now see her holding a dress. The dress was a casual slinky black dress with a limp, green bow hanging down the back. It was an old looking to today's style but Isis knew she could pull it off as vintage and retro.

Akiko: Sounds like something that Emi would wear if she dressed up, I think.

"It's a pretty dress," Isis stood up off the couch, "Was it my grandmother's?"

"Yes it was," Maven handed her the dress, "Now you get ready and come get me when you're ready to go," Mavis began to leave The Cat Lair but then quickly turned back, "Isis?"

"Yes?"

"It'd be better if tonight you didn't use your real last name," this confused Isis,

Tails: It shouldn't confuse her. If her last name is Kyle, of course people would be suspicious!
Tomoko: Yeah, that's logic, Prower.

"And one more thing…don't speak lightly of your past or your family."

"But…why?"

Akiko: *with a blank look on her face* Did she really need to ask that obvious question?

Maven looked down, as if looking for a lie, "Well…" she looked up and smiled, "Wouldn't want you to get all teary eyed in front of all your new friends," then she left.

Isis stood there wondering and whispered to herself, "…Then why would I need a new last name?"

All: *facepalms*
Tomoko: Jesus. Christ. Did you suddenly get a lobotomy while you were taking your bath back there?

Isis dropped that matter and started getting ready. She began with make-up. Heavy eye-liner, mascara, and deep red lipstick that made her pale skin look even more radiant.

Miyuki: *blinks* Uh... Tomoko...
Tomoko: I told ya, didn't I? They always have pale skin.
Tails: Well, she has one out of three down so far. Just waiting to mark off the "skinny body" and "big breast" boxes now.
Akiko: Meh, I'm just not surprised that she looks like every other cookie cutter fic girl now. I'm not against makeup, but do they need to have heavy makeup? And do they all need to look like Cass all the time?
Tails: Yes... and yes.

Then she put on her new dress along with fishnet panty hoes and big black combat boots. She was now ready.

Tails: "Panty hoes"? Oh, the magic of unfortunate typos.
Miyuki: *sighs, rings a bell*
Cassy: *peeks inside* You rang?
Miyuki: Yeah, hi, Cassy. Um, what is it with gothic clothing on Mary Sues? I mean, we don't have concrete proof that Isis here is a Sue yet, but what's up with that?
Cassy: Dude, it's so they can try to be "unique". They're like hipsters; it doesn't work if they all have the same style and mannerisms.
Miyuki: Yeah, I can tell. Thanks.
Cassy: No problem. *leaves the room*
Tails: Also, before anyone here asks, she can get away with wearing it in that universe. Yes, even to school. It's not horrible.
Akiko: I still question the giant green bow with all of that, actually. I'm no fashion expert, but it just looks out of place to me.

She said her good bye to Felix and headed for the door when all of a sudden her mother's word before she died struck her like lightening 'don't let him get you'.

Tomoko: Well, ain't that random.

This sent a shiver don't her spine.

Akiko: Uh... "don't her spine"?
Tails: Heck if I know.

Okay, don't speak lightly of your past…sound easy enough.

Miyuki: Pfft. How long until she spills the beans about her past?
Tomoko: I give it three chapters at least.
Tails: Five.
Akiko: Um...
Miyuki: Don't try to read ahead, Akiko.
Akiko: Aww, man! Fine. I'll say... about eight chapters.

Isis tried her best to shake off her eerie feeling. She knew that it would only make her jumpy for the rest of the night.

Tails: *while looking at his Miles Electric* Yeah, uh-huh.
Miyuki: Are you that bored?
Tails: Yes. Yes, I am.
Miyuki: I can't blame you at all there, Tails. I sure hope that the plot kicks off soon.

--

Continue to Part Four
Go Back to Part Two
Go Back to Incredibly Resilient Riffers Page
Go Back to Episode List
Go Back to Main MST 'EM Page