Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Riffer Recruits Episode 1: Catwoman: Rebirth (Part Four)

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Chapter 6:

Purrr…

Akiko: What kind of chapter title is that?
Miyuki: *tries to say something, but notices Tomoko's face* Uh... never mind.

"Alright, let's go!" Max growled as she pushed Terry into the Juice Bar.

Terry stumbled into the club. All the sudden lights, loud music, and people dancing were making him dizzy, "Max, how about we find a nice table to sit at for a while? At least until my head stops spinning."

Tomoko: Well, all we're missing is the smell of pot, and we'll be all set, huh?

Max put her hands on her hips and gave Terry a very questionable look, "You not just using this as an excuse, are you?"

"Of course not. I really am dizzy," Max replied with a crooked smile.

Tails: Is she talking to herself?
Miyuki: Probably. And what's with the crooked smile?
Tails: Well, to be fair, this fic was first posted in 2004, which predates the release of "Twilight" by about a year.
Miyuki: Ah.

They made there way over to a section of tables in front of a small stage. Max and Terry sat down at a table labeled, '#9'. Terry looked around the room hoping that Max wasn't looking for a girl for him to talk to at this very minute. He was still a little unsure of wanting to meet a new girl just yet.

Akiko: Yeah, don't worry, you'll forget all of your worries once you find out how perfect she is.

Through his thought Max interrupted, "Oooo look! It's karaoke night."

With no enthusiasm and a sarcastic remark Terry added, "Oh great…karaoke," as someone on the stage shrieked terribly.

Tails: Oh, looks like Yoko Ono's singing again.

At that moment, as he look around the room, he noticed someone enter the club. In Terry's mind, everyone else had stopped moving. The rest of the lights dimmed and the spot light was on her. She looked a little confused; as if she didn't know where she was. She was wearing a black dress with green bow hanging down the back.

Miyuki: Oh, yeah, right! All of the people in a freakin' club will not stop and stare at you! It's not possible!
Akiko: My Sue sense is tingling, guys.

Everything was frozen until Max interrupted his moment, "Oh? New eye candy? Don't think I've seen her around here before" Max nearly pushed Terry out of his seat but he stumbled holding on to the table, "Why don't you go talk to her lover boy?"

Tomoko: *sighs* He's gonna say, "No, I'm not gonna do that," and then she'll probably talk to Miss Goth there because reasons.

Terry looked down and shook his head, "No…no I can't."

"Fine…I will," before Terry had time for objection to Max's decision. She had already moseyed off. All Terry could do now was nervously sit and wait.

Tomoko: Yep.
Miyuki: I'm wondering if she's going to have the most wonderful voice if she sings.
Tomoko: You know she will.

The girl that Terry just had his eyes on was now sitting a secluded table by herself observing the crowds attentively. Max sat down next to her. The green eyed girl smiled, "Oh hi there," she said, struggling to speak over the loud music.

Tails: *holds up his Miles Electric, which has the word "Hello!" on its screen*

Max could already sense that she wasn't too shy, "Hey, you're new in town aren't you?"

"Yeah, just moved here yesterday."

"Really? Where you from?"

The girl was starting to look a little uneasy; "Well…" she had a nervous laugh, "not to far away…"

Akiko: Yeah, Sueville is one huge reality bending place. Could be anywhere.
Miyuki: We don't know if she's one yet, Akiko.
Akiko: I just have that feeling, Mi-chan. It's not going away.

"Oh. Well anyway, I'm Maxine. But you can just call me Max," Max reached out to shake the girl's hand.

She shook Max's hand, "I'm Isis. Isis Ky--…" she stopped become uneasy again, "…Smith," a hint of questioning in her voice.

Tails: Isis Ky Smith. *chuckles* Nice name.
Tomoko: Yeah, "Smith". Real slick. Why didn't she just name herself "Person McPerson" while she was at it?

"That's a nice name," Max had a surprise look on her face like she had an idea, "Hey Isis?"

"Yes."

"Do you like to sing?"

"Well sure." Isis was questionable

"Well it's karaoke night and well…" Max stopped to think of a little plan, "Well you came here to meet new people in the city. Am I right?"

"Yes… Where are you getting at?" Isis giggled.

"I just thought," Max looked for the words, "A nice looking girl like you shouldn't have to meet people. They should have to meet you. If you sing, I assure you that the guys will flock to meet you."

Tomoko: Or just whip out your knockers and attract the whole town.

"Well I don't know," Isis looked down and fiddled with her dress, "I'd feel a little awkward."

Miyuki: *stares at the screen*
Akiko: Fake humility and shyness... score another possible tick.

Max elbowed her, "Awe, come on girl! No offense, but to me you don't seem like you're always a very shy person. What have you got to lose? You look like you were born for the stage."

Miyuki: How come none of you guys are calling out Max for saying all of this?
Tails: Because that's actually who she is.

Isis looked up now at the stage, "Well, it might be kind of fun," Isis took a deep breath, "Okay I think I'll do it."

"Well then go on up there chicky," Max gave Isis a little nudge, "I'll be sitting at table '#9' if you need a little courage."

Tomoko: As long as it ain't liquid courage, then we'll be fine.

Isis walked to the DJ booth as Max walked back to table '#9'.

Terry was still waiting nervously at the table as Max returned, "So what did you say to her?"

"Oh nothing really," said Max suspiciously.

Akiko: *as Max* Other than "sing like a siren so she can get into your pants in two seconds flat".

Terry looked around the room, "Then where is she now?"

"You know Terry; you might want to pay attention to this next song. I hear it's a good one."

This puzzled him, "Wait, what?"

Tails: Yeah, I'm stumped, too. We don't even know the name of it.

"I think I'm gonna go get us some drinks," Max laughed mischievously and left Terry in a state of confusion. Terry looked towards the stage awaiting the surprise.

There she was. Terry's head shot up like a cat when it hears a can opener.

Miyuki: Because of course we needed more stupid cat comparisons.
Cassy: *peeks inside* Hey! Don't insult us cats, dude!
Miyuki: Alright, alright, sorry. *waves Cassy off*

This time as he looked at her, she had an aura. The light off of her ivory skin made her appear porcelain.

Akiko: So... if someone tips her over, will she shatter?
Tomoko: I'd like that. Anything to make this fic end faster.

He saw the girl scan all of the tables as the music began playing. Her eyes finally came to his table, '#9'. She suddenly looked confused. When she locked eyes with Terry she had an enticing smile. Terry returned the smile a little shyly and she began singing.

(BTW, this song is a song on Batman Returns called Face to Face. If you have the movie, it plays when Selina and Bruce are at the masquerade and it's the second song of the credits.)

Akiko: Symbology! *begins to hit her riffmates with her toy sledgehammer*
Tails: *makes a grumpy face* It seriously cannot be amy more "symbolic", huh?

Face to face -- my lovely foe

Mouth to mouth -- raining heaven's blows

Hand on heart – tic-tac toe

Under the stars -- naked as we flow

Cheek to cheek -- the bitter sweet

Commit your crime in your deadly time

It's too divine -- I want to bend

I want this bliss but something says I must resist

Tails: And Isis really needs to resist, because... *snickers*
Tomoko: What's so funny, Prower?
Tails: I'll have to let you three know later, because it's going to be a doozy if my guess on her grandfather is accurate!

Her voice was sexy and had Terry in a trance.

Tails, Miyuki, Tomoko: ...
Akiko: *rings a bell* Called it!
Tails, Miyuki, Tomoko: *stone faced, grumbling*

As he listened he wondered, this is no ordinary woman. He wanted her. He noticed that she keep taking glances at him.

Akiko: Sue! Sue! Suuuuue!
Miyuki: *with her hands in her face* Oh, help me, God.
Tomoko: God ain't coming to help you, Fujiwara.

You never can win -- it's the state I'm in

Tails: That's how I feel knowing that they're gonna get together. She's not gonna win.

This danger thrills and my conflict kills

They say follow your heart -- follow it through

But how can you -- when you're split in two?

And you'll never know

You'll never know

Miyuki: I'll never know what the hell's going on here.

She looked at him again. They were caught up in each other's spells.

Tomoko: So she's a witch?
Akiko: Well, Mary Sues can cast spells on certain people that they want to boink, so... yep!

The girl purred into the microphone adding a little wink at Terry at the end. Her purr sent a chill up his spine.

Akiko: Well, hello there, title drop!
Tails: *as he's browsing on his Miles Electric* Well, isn't she confident all of a sudden...
Tomoko: How convenient, huh? Now she sounds like... you know what, I'm not even gonna go there.
Miyuki: Like she's having a darn climax on the stage?
Tomoko: I said that I wasn't gonna go there, Fujiwara!
Miyuki: *smirks* You didn't. You just didn't say that I couldn't.
Tomoko: *scoffs*

He was a little shocked that a girl that pretty was actually showing interest in him and not some hot, meathead jock.

Tomoko: The hell? Ugh, that sentence just reeked of whiny "Nice Guy" crap.

The music was coming down to the end and Terry was still entranced.

Akiko: Better hide that, Terry. I don't think that the whole club needs to see the Sue summoning Terry Jr.
Miyuki: *laughs*

To die like this -- with a last kiss

It's falsehood's flame -- it's a crying shame

Face to face -- the passions breathe

I hate to stay but then I hate to leave

And you'll never know

You'll never know

Tomoko: I'll never know when this pain'll end.

The music stopped and Max, once again had to interrupt his trance. She whispered in his ear, "Her name's Isis. Now, go talk to her."

Tails: *tries to use his Miles Electric to analyze Terry's thoughts* Oh, man! Work, work!
Akiko, Miyuki: *looks at the Miles Electric*
Akiko: Yeah, looks like that thing's bugged, Tails.
Tails: *sighs* That's what I get for trying to analyze a randomly entranced character. It pretty much messes with my machine.

Terry got out of his seat and approached the girl who was still standing near the steps leading up to the stage. She was looking around the room as if searching for someone.

Miyuki: Yes. Terry...'s boner.

Terry was still having a little nerve problem, but now, he knew that if he didn't talk to her he was going to regret it; "Hi…You have beautiful voice."

Tomoko: *as Terry* Me take you back to my cave?

Isis looked down and scratched the back of her head. She was blushing, "Thanks."

Tails: Fake modesty. Got it.

"Wow you're pretty," Terry mumbled to himself.

Miyuki: And we've reached Esaka Destiny "Saga" levels of random horniness.

Isis looked up at him, "Did you just say something?"

Terry searched for a distraction, "Oh I was just

Akiko: *as Terry* ...thinking about wanting to bonk you.

taking notice of your dress. It's nice. Very retro."

Akiko: Yeah, nice cover up! *gives a sarcastic thumbs up*
Tomoko: You don't have much room to talk yourself, Miyadama.
Akiko: Did you have to remind me of that first meeting with him...?
Tomoko: Yes.

"You think?" Isis picked up the side of her short dress and looked down at it, "Actually it was my grandmother's."

Without thinking Terry replied, "Your grandma must have had a nice body back in her day," when Terry realized what he had just said he smacked himself in the forehead.

Miyuki: *snickers*
Tomoko: Smooth move, Casanova.

But lucky Isis didn't find that as rude. She just giggled. She actually thought that was a pretty nice compliment. Or at least from Terry she accepted it.

Tails: It's only okay if the love interest says it. Other than that, it's absolutely disgusting.

"By the way, I'm Terry."

"Oh yeah and I'm Isis."

"I don't think I've met anyone with that name before."

Akiko: Well, that's because it's "unique" and "special" like she is.
Tomoko: Or like she thinks she is.

Suddenly 'Cupid' joined the two.

"Hi Max"

"Hi Max" Terry and Isis said to the new party member.

Tails: Are you two now robots, or is the Nightmare Investigator in this fic now?

" Mission complete," said Max as she approached them. Neither Terry nor Isis had really paid attention to what 'Cupid' had just said.

"So you know Max too." Isis asked.

"Yeah she's my best friend."

"Well looks like my work here is done," Max clapped her hands together, "I guess I'll just leave you two alone now," Max walked away and disappeared into the bouncing crowd.

Miyuki: The crowd's bouncing? Guess they managed to fit a bouncy castle into the club.

Isis scratched her head, "Huh?" Terry just replied to that with a jumpy laugh and a shrug of the shoulders.

Soon another guy joined the two. Terry figured this would happen. Terry thought that the guy looked a lot better than himself. His stomach began to feel jittery. The guy tapped Isis on the shoulder, "Would you dance with me?" Terry was starting to feel very territorial. He almost felt like screaming at the guy, I saw her first. But he held back his urges.

Tomoko: Yeah, good idea. She's not a piece of meat to fight over, buddy.
Akiko: And another Sue trait! She's so irresistible that guys want to slobber all over her!
Tails: I really need to upgrade this to handle Mary Sue fics like these. Can't get any worse than this, right?
Miyuki: Yeah, you say that now, Tails.

Isis hugged Terry's arm, "Sorry, but I've already got someone to dance with."

Her answer surprised Terry but made him feel really glad. The guy walked off with a touch of disappointment in his face. Ha ha, in your face!

Akiko: Yeah, he's got the trophy... I mean, Sue... I mean... trophy Sue!

"So…are you going to dance with me or what?" asked Isis.

"Well sure."

Miyuki: Please don't let it be one of those "sexy" dances.
Tomoko: You're asking for this fic to have mercy on you? You're asking for too much, Fujiwara.

As they made they're way over to the dance floor,

Tails: ...you mean "their".

the music became slow.

Akiko: *puzzled* Slow music? In a Gotham club?
Tails: The future! It's utterly confusing!

All the people dancing locked with their significant other. Isis put her hands on Terry's shoulders and he put his on her waist. The two swayed to the rhythm of the slow music. As they danced they became closer and closer until they were chest to chest. When Terry had realized how close they had gotten he smile. He could feel her heart beat and the moment was perfect.

Miyuki: *slams her head on the table*
Akiko: And they're so wonderful that their own hearts are in sync? Wow, this is ripe for some ice cream eating here!

"I didn't think tonight would be very fun," Isis admitted raising her head from his chest.

Terry looked down at her, "Me neither. I almost didn't come."

Tomoko: Just say it, Fujiwara. You know you want to.
Miyuki: *while her head is still on the table* Nah, that line riffed itself, anyway.

Isis rested her head back down and whispered, "I'm really glad that you did."

Miyuki: And it riffed itself again.

In the background he could see Dana with her new 'boyfriend'. She was glaring at them. This gave Terry a slight feeling of satisfactory. But strangely enough, Terry didn't care what Dana thought. All he could really think of now was Isis.

Tails: Wait, huh? Why is Dana glaring at them when she broke up with Terry in the first place?
Akiko: Ah, you know the drill, Tails; she's always going to be the "evil" one in a Sue fic. And knowing how she was in that show... yeah, it's not gonna end well for her here.
Miyuki: Yeah, doesn't help when the word "boyfriend" is in quotations. *sarcastically* Yeah, Dana, that evil slut. Using boys for her own amusement like that. *normal voice* Sue fics, I swear.

He looked back down at Isis. She looked so beautiful and content when all of a sudden his watch vibrated, "Shit. What a way to ruin the moment Bruce." He whispered to himself.

Tomoko: Dunno why he's so surprised. I thought that his dates always got interrupted.
Akiko: But she's the Sue, Tomo-chan! Everything must halt for her!

Isis pulled away, "What's wrong Terry?"

"I'm really sorry Isis. But I have to go," he explained.

She looked a little upset, "I understand. Duty calls?"

"Yeah…sorry."

"No I'm fine," she smiled.

Miyuki: Yeah, you say that now.

Terry took off his jacket, "Here, take this. That way we have to meet again."

"Okay," she reached for the jacket.

He started to walk away but then he hesitated and turned around. He went back to Isis and left her with a passionate good bye kiss. Pulling away he whispered, "Bye Isis."

Tails: I can't remember if he did that when he first met Melanie... oh. Wait, I just figured something out!
Tomoko: What's the matter, Prower?
Tails: Melanie was that series' version of Catwoman! I mean, Bruce told Terry about Selina after the latter's encounter with her, cementing said Catwoman reference, and now Isis is gonna replace her! Oh, man, why didn't I notice that sooner?
Tomoko: Maybe her siren Sue singing threw you off there.
Tails: I guess so.

She blushed and felt her warm cheeks. She replied in an absentminded state, "Bye…"

And he walked away.

Miyuki: This is going to get even worse, isn't it?
Akiko: Yep.
Miyuki: And how do you know?
Akiko: *while digging into a pint of ice cream* I read ahead, Mi-chan. Want some ice cream?
Miyuki: Only if I can get brain freeze that'll cause me to forget parts of this fic.

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