Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Special Episode 8: Miles "Tails" Prower (Part Three)

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Note: I'm really not sure what to say about this chapter... just read it and see for yourself. '

Tails: *bored* Oh, wow. Who gets to confront "me" after I do "my" unusual stuff now?

Chapter 6: Tails in Station Square...

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After Tails' crazy battle with Knuckles,

Akiko: No, that was a one-sided battle.

Tails returned home to his workshop and rested up after the hard fight.

All: *sarcastically* Sure...

Eventually, Tails went to bed, because, by the time he was fully rested up, it was already late, as the sun was setting.

Sonic: What'd he do, drink himself into a mini coma?
Tomoko: He's drunk with power, Hedgehog.

Tails decided to try to go to Station Square tomorrow.

The next day...

Manic: Tails went to Station Square and did a thing, then someone went out of character to confront Tails, then Tails beat them up with his "duel slashing sword combos", and blah, blah, freakin' blah!
Sonia: This is an incredibly repetitive fanfic so far.
Amy: "So far"?
Sonia: My apologies. You're correct.

Tails woke up, and it was pretty early, as the sun wasn't completely done rising yet, but Tails didn't care.

Miyuki: Wait, he woke up, then went back to bed? I... don't think sleep works like that.
Akiko: No, Mi-chan. He just went to bed once. See, he went back to his workshop late and then rested. The narration just confused you.
Miyuki: Ah.

He left his workshop and headed for the train, and luckily, no one stopped him this time, so Tails took the train, and exited the train station and entered Station Square.

Sonia: *flatly* What thrilling narration.

Tails was pretty sure there wouldn't be any Chaos Emeralds in Station Square, but he decided to take out his handheld locator, just to be safe.

Tails: Let me guess. There's a Chaos Emerald, right?

When he did... Tails was shocked, wide-eyed, and speechless, there was a Chaos Emerald nearby!!!

Tails: *bored* Hooray.
Amy: What's the point of this fic? Bad Clone Tails doesn't struggle in anything. He doesn't have to work for anything. A story needs development, not... whatever this bland anime weirdness is.

Tails noticed that according to his locator, the possible chaos emerald was down in the Station Square sewer.

Tomoko: A fitting location for this fic. It's sewer waste.
Manic: That's an insult to good sewer waste.

Tails quickly headed to the second area of Station Square, which was most know as the area where the mayor lived. Tails made sure no one was looking, then quickly headed down the manhole and landed on the somewhat narrow, cement, platform down in the sewer.

Amy: Wait, why's he going to the manhole that is closest to the mayor's home? Isn't a sewer full of different pathways? And why is there no security present?
Miyuki: Amy, why're you using logic?
Amy: Because someone has to use it.
Sonic: Wait a minute. He's probably following the layout of "Sonic Adventure" down to the T. There was no security in that game.
Amy: Are you telling me that this is just a bad rewrite of the "Sonic Adventure" games?
Sonic: It's starting to look like it.
Sonia: Pfft. Weren't those games edgy enough?
Manic: Guess not, since "Shadow the Hedgehog" is a thing.

He headed south toward the dead end with a huge wooden box blocking a pathway to explore the rest of the sewer, but that didn't bother Tails, because he was just there for the emerald. And, there it was, on top of the box between the top of the box and the ceiling of the sewer. It was

Sonic: ...my Light Speed Shoes?

the purple Chaos Emerald!! Tails flew up, grabbed the purple chaos emerald, and put it in his pack.

"Three down, four to go." thought and realized Tails.

Akiko: Why is he grabbing those Chaos Emeralds with little effort? Why does he have three of them in three chapters?
Sonia: It's official. This version of Miles "Tails" Prower has got to be a Gary Stu.
Tails: Well, Sonic and I found some Chaos Emeralds with some effort. They were pretty easy to get. This bad clone needs no effort.

Tails didn't think it'd be that easy, but, for some reason, it was.

Tomoko: More like bad writing does it again.

But, Tails didn't question it.

Sonic: I sure did. So did everyone else around me.
Manic: *points to the audience* And so did those folks back there.

Tails left the sewer, and started to head for home, but the security cameras around Station Square seemed to be watching him...

Miyuki: Ah. The convenient camera angles. Of course.

Meanwhile...

In an undisclosed are, someone was observing Tails in a room that had all the areas around Station Square, on multiple, small, TV screens. It must be the security room where you could see what the cameras were showing. It was meant to keep Station Square safe after all the craziness that happened. It was... G.U.N.'s General Commander!!!

Akiko: Dun dun dun!
Sonia: The suspense is killing me. It's literally killing me with its abject stupidity.

One of the G.U.N. soldiers came in from behind the automatic door behind the General. It was the soldier that usually checked in on the General, and the soldier noticed the General had his eyes fixated on the camera that was on Tails.

Tails: And what's the soldier's name?
Tomoko: Generic McSoldier or somethin'. I don't care.

"What's wrong General?" asked the soldier

"Something's different about Tails..." informed the General

"What do you mean, sir?" asked the soldier

"I'm not sure myself, soldier, just a gut feeling I guess..." informed the General

Sonic: ...and we're not going to have them investigate? They're just gonna be throwaway prop characters?
Amy: Seriously, Sonic... are you sure that you're reading the same fic that we are? Everyone's a prop for Tails the Stu.

Back with Tails...

Tails had left Station Square and was heading back home, but he was interrupted again.

Manic: *irritated* Of course he was!

"I knew it!! You're gathering my jewels aren't you Tails?!" demanded a tough girlish voice.

Sonic, Sonia, Manic, Amy, Tails: Rouge.
Akiko: Who?
Sonic: Jewel thief that claims to be a treasure hunter, works for G.U.N. Rouge the Bat.
Akiko: Ah. So she's like the Dark Rose, then. Well, almost.

Just from the way she talked, Tails already knew who it was. He turned around, and there was the proof. It was the tough, mysterious, somewhat crazy, and jewel fanatic bat, Rouge. Out of all of Tails' friends, even though Rouge wasn't one of Tails' friends, she was the one that underestimated him the most.

Manic: *as the author* Do you know how much Tails is underestimated? Do you? Do you?! *mutters* Ain't enough alcohol in the world to deal with this repetitive shit. And I sat through Benji's crap.
Tails: Uh... Rouge doesn't underestimate me. She likes to tease me a lot, though.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Rouge" lied Tails, but he tried to sound convincing, and he did, but Rouge obviously didn't believe him. Rouge then noticed Tails' pack.

Sonic: Whoa, whoa, whoa, he's eight... I think.
Amy: *sputters* Not like that, Sonic!

"Oh? Then what's in that pack then? Hmm...?" asked Rouge, somewhat cockingly.

Tails just rolled his eyes and took of his pack and threw it behind him so it was out of his way.

"If you want the emeralds, you'll have to take them from me by force!!" yelled Tails

Tomoko: *sarcastically* Smooth move, Not-Prower.
Akiko: Why does he have three of those emeralds on him? Knowing Tails, he'd probably have one of them locked away in his workshop, and have only one of them being used to power his tracker. That way, he could fool everyone by having them believe that he only has two emeralds.
Miyuki: Quit using logic, Akiko... wait, you're using logic? Did Amy rub off on you?
Akiko: *shrugs* I dunno. I guess she did... because I'm also starting to wonder why he just threw those Chaos Emeralds where any random person could get them.

"Easy" declared Rouge, she then continued "I should thank you, Tails, me taking however many emeralds you have lessens my work load, a little." informed Rouge as she got in her somewhat martial arts like fighting stance. Tails took out his weapons and got in his fighting stance as well.

"Good. It's better this way. I'll be able to cease Rouge's stupid unbelievable underestimation of me." realized Tails

Tails: Here we go. Get ready for another round of "duel slashing combo" nonsense.
Manic: I guess we're underestimating this garbage.

Tails was getting more confident in himself now. He was ready, and willing, to prove to Rouge that she shouldn't underestimate him.

Sonia: Should've started a drinking game for every time the word "underestimate" was used.
Tomoko: No way. My damn liver would shut down. That slashing crap is more than enough for me.

To be continued...

P.S.: You know... The G.U.N. General/Commander from Shadow the Hedgehog? Please tell me you know whom I'm talking about... --;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Tails: Why didn't you properly mention him in the story, then? *rubs his forehead* Goodness... gracious. This fic needed a beta reader.
Sonic: Or a new writer.
Sonia: Or maybe it shouldn't have been written at all. I'm literally serious.

Note: Tails takes on Rouge and... well... see for yourself... '

Amy: It's gonna be horrifically one-sided, just like the last two "fights", right?
Miyuki: Oh, you know it.

Chapter 7: Tails vs Rouge!!

Sonia: *flatly* Yay.

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Tails was ready, and willing, to take on Rouge, and prove to her that he isn't to be underestimated,

Manic: *starts to foam at the mouth*
Tomoko: *as she pours herself another shot* Hedgehog's gettin' a bit rabid there.
Akiko: If he falls over, should we revive him?
Amy: Of course. He's kind of one of our best riffers. I'd also say he's one of the calmest, but... um...
Sonia: *wipes the foam from Manic's mouth* Yeah.

but the voice contacted Tails again.

"What strange friends you have. This one seems to be obsessed with jewels, and seems to think the Chaos Emeralds are hers. This "Rouge" is definitely a strange one" remarked the voice

Akiko, Miyuki, Tomoko: Um...
Akiko: This is weird. It's turning him against his friends and making him do incredibly strange things. Why is this reminding me of that...
Akiko, Miyuki, Tomoko: Ugh.
Sonic: What's that about?
Miyuki: You don't want to know, Sonic.

"That's true, but to be honest with you, Rouge really isn't one of MY friends. Especially since she's the one that underestimates me the MOST." informed Tails

Manic: *foams at the mouth again*
Tomoko: So... are you hedgehogs gonna get a replacement for him? Or are you gonna turn him into a live meat dummy?
Sonic: *as he tries to keep Manic up* Bro, there's only one green puppet out there, and he's a frog. Stay up!
Tails: No, Sonic! You're going to have to get a replacement for him!
Sonic: Yeah, but who's going to want to read this fic?
Tails: I don't know, but you're going to have to figure it out!

"I see... then don't hold back." remarked the voice

"I don't plan on it." smirked Tails

This... probably wouldn't take long...

Sonia: It probably won't be creative, either. Now play Rouge's theme.

Que: "Dance to the Death" (Kingdom Hearts 2)

Tails: *flatly* What.
Sonia: Or not, I guess. Whatever...
Amy: Let me guess. This Stuthor doesn't like Rouge's theme, so this nonsense is here instead. Never mind that my theme was playing. Never mind that Knuckles had his theme play. We're just going to break a pattern because of poor biases.

Rouge came after Tails and tried to ground kick combo him,

Everyone except Manic and Tomoko: Drink!
Tomoko: *takes a shot* Eight.

but Tails just easily dodged the kicks by moving out of the way when the kicks came near him.

Amy: He dodged them with ease.

Tails then jumped to the left to dodge another kick and was able to extend his blades and start his ground duel slashing combos on Rouge.

Everyone except Manic and Tomoko: Double drink!
Tomoko: *takes two shots* Ten.
Manic: *stirs a bit* Gah. Just... screw it, get me some damn Bleepka or somethin', y'all.
Sonia: *opens a bottle of Bleeprin* No. You're getting these instead. Also, you're getting booted out for the next part so you can recuperate. We'll get Rory to cover for you.
Manic: *facepalms, groans* No, please. Don't break Rory.

He just beat the crap out of her, not holding back, like the voice said.

Akiko: *bored* Wow. He beat the crap out of someone again? This is great writing.

He hit Rouge into the air with an underhand backward slash with his right weapon and flew into the air, following Rouge, and continuing his combos with is aerial duel slashing combos.

Everyone except Tomoko: Double drink!
Tomoko: *takes two more shots* Twelve. This bottle's gonna be empty in about six chapters if this keeps up.

He ended it with his X cross-slash and Rouge hit the ground pretty hard.

Tails: Hmm. Fic's light on the excitement, heavy on the same old boring scenes. Seriously... this is the third fight scene in this fic, and it's the same stuff. This is terrible writing.
Akiko: Yeah. I know.

Rouge was angry now, and flew into the air with her wings and tried to aerial kick Tails, but Tails just flew to the right to move out of the way of the kick and did another intense aerial slashing combo,

Everyone except Tomoko: Double drink!
Tomoko: *takes two more shots* Fourteen.

doing creative spin slashes, and just creative slashes in general, but ended it the same way as before, and Rouge hit the ground hard again.

Amy: It was creative, huh? Wanna tell us in detail? Because this writing's not creative at all!
Miyuki: You're just gonna have to take the author's word for it, Amy. It's creative.
Tomoko: It'll be a lot more creative if Not-Prower just keels over.

Tails landed, and Rouge jumped up, jumped into the air, and spinned madly like a top and tried to kick Tails, it was Rouge's screw kick!!

But, Tails wasn't too concerned,

Sonia: Funny. I'm concerned about the poor quality of these fight scenes.

and he just ran counter-clockwise, in circles, to dodge it. Until Rouge started following Tails with her screw kick, that is.

Tails just kept running, counter-clockwise for awhile, but Tails realized it wasn't getting him anywhere, so Tails quickly flew into the air with Rouge going under him and Tails landed and really extended his blades and slashed the crap out of Rouge, stopping her from spinning and Tails did the same kind of combos as before. Ground, then aerial, duel slashing combos that were intense and pretty creative,

Everyone except Tomoko: Three drinks!
Tomoko: *takes three more shots* Seventeen.
Amy: Creative. Pfft.
Sonia: Can you really hold on to all of that alcohol, Tomoko? It is sake, after all...
Tomoko: Please. I was built for this stuff. Spending years in the Underground can harden a person.

ending the same way, and Rouge hit the ground hard again.

Tails landed and was ready to fight some more, but Rouge was injured, as she got up and was holding her right arm with her left hand. It was over.

End Music

Akiko: End. This. Boring. Fic. Please.

"This is... impossible!! I'm not supposed to lose to you!! You've never been this strong before!!" remarked Rouge

Miyuki: Those Stu swords are doing wonders, huh?
Sonia: Too many wonders.

"That's what you get for underestimating me" commented Tails

Manic: *grouchy* Shut. The fuck. Up.
Sonic: Uh, bro? We have Tails here.
Tails: *shrugs* Eh. I'd like to shut myself up, too.

Rouge said nothing and walked off, but as she walked away Rouge declared

"I'll let my emeralds go this time."

Tails just seemed to be getting stronger and stronger. But, little did Tails know, that soon, he new strength would be put to the real test...

Amy: If they just swallow him up and replace him with the real Tails, that'd be great. I hate this terrible version of him.
Tomoko: Oh, yeah. Isn't that head writer a fan of Prower?
Amy: Oh, yes. Just not this version of him.

To be continued...

P.S.: I really didn't like Rouge's theme in Sonic Adventure 2 that's why I used that KH2 battle song. Sorry... shrugs

Amy: I knew it!
Sonia: Blatant author bias... is a surefire sign of bad writing. Seriously, I don't know how many times we need to say this. If you had the themes that belonged to Amy and Knuckles, Rouge's theme should've been there, too. But no, we needed this. *scoffs*

Note: Things really won't get any better... I think. I'm not sure. Just read this and make a decision yourself. shrugs

Tails: So... this person isn't confident in their writing skills, and this note practically admits it.
Tomoko: Then why the hell would he put it up?
Tails: I don't know. Exposure, maybe?
Tomoko: Author's exposing his whole ass with this crap writing.

Chapter 8: The Return of Eggman!!

Sonia: He technically never left, but okay.

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The rest of the day went by pretty quickly. So Tails ended up going to bed to start up again tomorrow.

Akiko: *flatly* Yay. Thrilling.

The next morning...

Tails was outside his workshop and house sitting on the edge of the cliff with his legs hanging off the cliff. Tails was deep in thought.

Miyuki: And then the real Tails kicked him over the cliff.
Tails: That fake me can still fly, Miyuki.
Miyuki: Yeah, he "somehow" forgot. *tosses a roll of duct tape aside*

Tails was beginning to realize that the fun was over, and that he needed to get more serious.

Sonic: Wasn't he already serious?

Tails realized that he no longer seemed to have any friends.

Amy: *flailing* And whose fault is that?!

Basically because his friends keep underestimating him and demanding him to hand over the emeralds he has collected for "safe keeping."

Manic: Oh, fuck this. *places his hands on the table*
Tomoko: Hedgehog... I have some damn booze on this table. You flip that, and I'll fling you.
Manic: *flips a coaster*
Tomoko: That's better.
Akiko: Sure. It's their fault. It's never his fault. Gary Stus don't need to take responsibility for their actions. Agh, I hate this fic.
Sonia: A Gary Stu is never wrong. It's never a Gary Stu's fault.

His friends have turned into his enemies, and his old enemies are still his enemies.

Amy: Again... whose fault is it?!
Sonia: It's a shitty fanfic. Therefore, the correct answer is not Tails.

Tails just knew that he would be busy for a long time. But, Tails still thought it was for the best. Sure... he was alone now... but Tails was starting to consider the voice, from the weapon, power, or whatever it was, a friend.

Sonic: You're painfully dumb, ain't ya? Who trusts an obviously evil sword?
Tails: This bad clone does. It's like this horrible version of me was created from the Judgement Stand.
Sonic, Tails, Akiko: Hail 2 U! *claps*

Then, Tails' peace and quiet was interrupted from above the sky. A huge shadow was over Tails, and Tails looked up into the sky to see... none other than Eggman's new Egg Carrier!!

Manic: Queue some "Kingdom Hearts" music instead of the Egg Carrier theme.

Tails quickly flew off the cliff and landed on the main ground of the Mystic Ruin, and Tails watched in shock as the Egg Carrier landed in front of his workshop and house. Eggman came out in his flyer and flew toward Tails.

"There you are fox boy" commented Eggman

Everyone except Tomoko: Kyo?
Tomoko: Please. LeMaire wouldn't be dumb enough to listen to some stupid edgelord swords.

"The name's Tails!! What do you want Eggman?!" demanded Tails

Manic: *as Eggman* Well, I'd like you to go back into character, please. It's no fun dealing with someone who got up on the wrong side of the bed.

Eggman put his right hand in his flyer and took out... the green chaos emerald!! The emerald was glowing as well, and Eggman noticed that Tails saw that.

"As you know, the only reason this chaos emerald would glow is when other chaos emeralds are around. So... you have some, don't you fox boy?!" demanded Eggman, he was to smart, but Tails kept his cool and kept being serious.

"Maybe. So what if I do?" asked Tails

Sonic: Did you just say that in front of Eggman?!
Amy: ...and you didn't hide them? Why are you the protagonist if you're this thick? Look, I know that the Chaos Emeralds can't be hidden that easily, but could you at least bluff or something?
Tails: *as he nervously plays with the ends of his tails* I thought that bluffing wasn't one of my strongest suits...

"Hand them over fox boy" demanded Eggman

"Are you crazy?! No way!! Forget it!!" shouted Tails

Tomoko: *sarcastically claps* Smooth as constipated crap, Not-Prower.

"You fool!! Then I'll just force them from you by destroying you!!" declared Eggman

"Just try it!!" yelled Tails as he took out his weapons and got in his fighting stance. Eggman instantly recognized Tails' weapons and was shocked and wide-eyed.

"How did you obtain those weapons?! I wanted those weapons to help me dominate the world and form my Eggman Empire!!" informed Eggman

Miyuki: So... it rejects an obviously evil guy... so it can do evil things? These swords are weird.
Sonic: Even inanimate objects have weird priorities.

"None of your business!!" remarked Tails

Miyuki: *as Eggman* Wrong answer! *nukes Tails*
Amy: Best ending ever.

"Whatever!! Those weapons won't help you!! Your chaos emeralds will still be mine nonetheless" claimed Eggman

Eggman pressed a button in his flyer and a triceratops-like robot jumped out of the Egg Carrier and Eggman went into the pod for Eggman and his flyer under the triceratops' horn. Eggman was ready to do whatever it took to take Tails' emeralds, even if it meant destroying him.

Akiko: I can sorta live with that.
Sonia: I can definitely live with that.

Tails had to get more serious than he's ever been before, especially since that what Eggman was probably planning to do. Destroy Tails!!

Tails: Huh. I'd destroy myself, too.

To be continued...

P.S.: I'm sorry... but... I'm not very creative

Tomoko: We know.
Amy: That wasn't the whole sentence, Tomoko.
Tomoko: I know that, Rose. I also don't care.

coming up with original mechs or Eggman mechs in general. In my sonic gaming experience, Eggman hasn't used a triceratops mech yet, so that works for me. shrugs

Akiko: Someone's been watching a bit too much of the original "Power Rangers".
Sonic: Well, Eggman did use a dragon mech once. Or twice.
Sonia: Problem is, those can fly. It's a triceratops. That thing's going to be cut into ribbons in no time flat.
Miyuki: Oh, yay. More "duel slashing combo" crap's coming up.

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