Mystery Science Theater En Masse: Movie Squares

Super Special 2: Sabrina's Adventure 3: The Sapphire Quest (Part Four)

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Slight warning... that will also be a humongous spoiler: [Rape is mentioned and discussed, but it is not in explicit detail.]

Note: This part will be handled by the Riffer Recruits.

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4. Sabretooth's Origin

Miyuki: So we're gonna halt no plot for a backstory that we probably won't care about. Great.
Tomoko: Any more padding and we'll all turn into the Michelin guy.

Sapphire was chasing Sabre,after he tranquilized and kidnapped Sakura and Speedy.

Tails: I don't have amnesia, fic. I know what happened.

The yellow blur was getting away from her,she ran faster,she caught up with him. "Stop! Give me back my friends!" Sabre grinned.

Miyuki: And then he slammed into a tree.

The two yellow blurs were darting through the deep dark forest,suddenly,a blue blur ran right in front of Sapphire,she stopped running. "That couldn't have been Speedy,unless...oh no! Sonic is here,I better get out of here!"

Akiko: *confused* Isn't Sonic your ally?
Tomoko: Everyone's dumb, Miyadama. Logic ain't a thing here.

She started running again after Sabre,she caught up quickly,she punched him and then she ran away,disappearing into the forest. The blue blur disappeared as well.

All: *flatly* What.
Akiko: And you left your friends behind?! *facepalms* This is dumb. Why is she being dumb?
Tails: Trust me, I'm trying to give you a coherent answer, but I can't.

Shadow and the other parents were in the forest,looking for the kids.

All: *annoyed* We know!
Kyo K.: Can I ditch this place before I'm up?
Jayleen: No, you may not. You will sit here and you will suffer like everybody else.

Shadow saw a blue blur approaching them,it stopped and revealed Sonic. "Shadow,I saw Sapphire!" Everyone stopped searching and ran over to him. "Where?" Sonic caught his breath. "She was in the forest,fighting Sabre,she didn't look like she was hurt,before I could get her,she saw me and ran off!" Everyone gasped.

Tails: *as himself, hacks*

"What about Speedy and Sakura,did you see them?" Sonic shook his head. "C'mon,we need to go find Sapphire!" Everyone nodded and ran into the forest.

Miyuki: Should they be looking for the campfire that was never extinguished?
Tomoko: They'll find it after the forest burns down.

Sapphire was sitting on a tree branch,resting after she nearly got caught by Sabre and Sonic. "I don't believe this! Sabre got Sakura and Speedy,

All: We know!

and it's all my fault,

Tomoko: Yeah, it pretty much is your fault, kid.

and now our parents are here looking for us,Sonic found me,how am I going to get away from them!"

Akiko: Uh... run faster...?

She sighed sadly and looked into the forest.Her stomach started growling. Sapphire sat up. "Man,I haven't eaten anything since we left Angel Island,I need to get some food if I'm going to survive out here."

Tails: *as he looks up from his Miles Electric* Consume the leaves.
Akiko: Wait, Paradise Island has a city. She couldn't run there, get some food, and then resume searching?
Tails: Akiko, you're using logic. She's better off consuming the leaves.

Sapphire stood up and looked around the forest,she only saw green trees,one caught her eye,it was a small bush,it was bearing some small red berries.

Tomoko: Hope they're poisonous.

She jumped down and walked to the bush,she looked at the small fruits and picked one. "Hm,these don't look like the berries at home,but it's the only thing here." She put the berry in her mouth,she instantly spat it out. "Yuck! These things taste awful!"

Miyuki: Bear Grylls she ain't.
Tails: If you drop her in the desert, she'll die of dehydration within five minutes.

She looked around the forest,she saw a small glow. "Oh man,I'm close to Sabre's fire,maybe Sakura and Speedy are there!" She ran to the glow and saw a small fire that was almost out.

Tomoko: Jeez, finally.

She also saw Sakura and Speedy on the ground near the fire. She ran over to them,they were still under the effect of the tranquilizer.She sat down by the fire,she saw a brown bag leaning against a tree,she walked over to it and opened it.It was full of fruit,berries,and melons. "Wow,I'd never seen so much food in one place!" She pulled the heavy bag to the fire,

Tails: ...where it burned up.

she sat down and pulled out an apple,she bit into it,it tasted very sweet. She saw Sakura and Speedy start moving,they sat up and rubbed their heads. "Ugh,where are we?" They turned and saw Sapphire. "Sapphire,you're okay! Where did you get all this fruit?" Sapphire smiled. "I found it,

Akiko: No, you stole it... out of necessity. Hey, wait, this sounds like the stuff that I used to do.

we'd better stay alert,Sabre is still in the forest somewhere.C'mon,let's eat!" Speedy ran over and took out a watermelon. Sakura took out a banana. They all continued eating.

Tomoko: How the hell did he pull out a watermelon?
Miyuki: Hammerspace.
Tomoko: And how in the hell can a watermelon and a banana grow in a forest?
Akiko: Hammerspace... grocery store.

"This food must be Sabre's, I guess he'll be hungry for a while!" They all started laughing,they ate until they we're all full.

Tails: *flatly* Ha, ha, ha, starving someone else is hilarious.
Miyuki: They ate until they got stuffed? If they have to run, they're going to puke all of that food up.

"Man,I'm stuffed! Now what are we gonna do?" Everyone stood up. "I'm getting pretty tired,we need to find a place to stay for the night,we can't stay here,Sabre might come back.We'll take this bag of fruit in case we get hungry again." Sakura and Speedy nodded.They all started walking into the forest,Sapphire picked up the half full bag of fruit and caught up with the others.

After a while,the three teens finally left the forest. Speedy sighed. "It's about time we got out of that creepy jungle,I thought we'd never get out of there!" They all continued walking,they were headed towards Paradise City. "Hey,I see the city,maybe we can find a place there,let's go!" Everyone nodded and ran to the city.

Tails: I guess staying with Sakura's royal relatives escaped their empty minds for some reason.

After a few minutes,the three teens arrived in Paradise City. "Man,this place looks much better at night,it's so bright here!" The tall buildings were glowing with colorful lights.The teens walked through the city,many people were staring at them. Speedy was getting annoyed by this,he looked at the people and did the eye-tongue at them. "What are you looking at! Haven't you seen a hero before?"

Tomoko: I see someone who needs a damn lesson in humility right now.

Sakura and Sapphire yelled at him. "Speedy!" Sapphire used her foot to trip him,he fell to the ground. "Hey,what was that for?" Sakura and Sapphire stared at him. "For bragging and showing off."

Miyuki: Never mind, guess she did it for you.
Tomoko: Only smart thing she ever did so far.

Speedy huffed and got back up,he caught back up with them.They continued to walk around the large city,Sapphire yawned. They saw a park across the street from them. "Maybe there is a place we can sleep there,let's check it out!" Everyone nodded and walked across the street,while they were crossing,a car went by them very fast,almost hitting the teens. They suddenly heard sirens,police cars came down and went past them by the dozens.Sapphire and the others ran back to the sidewalk before they came. Sapphire became angry. "We have lawbreakers here,I think we should lend a hand to the police,what do you say?" Sakura and Speedy nodded. "Yeah,it's about time we had some proper action here,let's rock!"

Akiko: You guys just got over tranquilizer darts. I don't think any one of you is ready for action.
Tails: I thought that this chapter was supposed to be dedicated to Sabretooth.
Tomoko: Yeah, right. We'll probably get a dumb throwaway line or something.

The three heroes ran after the police cars,they all passed the police cars instantly,the cars stopped.The officers stared wide-eyes as they saw three teens chasing the suspect at supersonic speeds. Sapphire reached the white car first,the suspect saw her,he started swerving from left to right.Speedy caught up and jumped on top of the speeding vehicle,he started slipping from the swerving,he was able to hold on.Sakura flew over the car,she grabbed Sapphire's arms and carried her over it,she let go of her arms as they were directly over the car.Sapphire landed on top of the car,she punched the roof,making a hole,she ripped it open wider.The driver saw this and started panicing.Sapphire jumped inside the car and landed in the back seat. "Stop the car!" The driver paniced even more,he suddenly lost control of the car. The car suddenly swung left,Speedy jumped out of the way. Sakura landed inside the car and grabbed the driver,Sapphire and her jumped out of the car before it started spinning.Sakura landed with the suspect in the road,the driver was scared stiff. "P-Please, don't hurt me! Turn me in,turn me in!" Sapphire and Speedy were getting ahead of the car,Sapphire got ahead first,she started pushing against the vehicle,Speedy did the same.They managed to make the car screech to a halt. They saw many police cars coming their way,they all stopped,many police officers,including Sakura came their way.

All: *bored*
Tails: What even is this? Seriously, what was the point of this entire scene?
Miyuki: So they can be instant heroes in a can. Give them some heroism without any of the development.

They stopped in front of Sapphire and Speedy,they all ran up to them and cheered for them. "Wow,you saved alot of innocent people back there! Thank you kids so much!"

Tomoko: They... did? Were the folks just standing in the middle of the damn street like a human blockade?

Sakura,Speedy,and Sapphire smiled. "It was no sweat,officer,,just glad we could help!" They all turned around and started walking away. "Wait! Maybe we can have a heroic ceramony for you,there was this girl who looked just like you who saved the world from Sabre..."

Tails: *throws his hands up* Oh, come on!
Akiko: *as the civilians* Allow us to praise you, hedgehog who looked like that other hedgehog that used to be a statue!
Cassy: So this is just an excuse to shill the Sue's probably Sue daughter.
Akiko: They grow up so fast!
Miyuki: Ugh.

Sapphire held her hand out. "No thanks,we have other things to do that are more important than this."

Tomoko: Yeah, stopping a car from running over people is just small stuff.

A news reporter rushed up to them and took several pictures of them. The kids got angry,they ran away into the city. They soon found themselves near a hotel,they stopped running,they were miles away from the police. "Whew,remind me not to be the hero of a simple crime! That was a close call!"

Tails: "I don't want to be a hero," they whine... while they want to be heroes. Also, who's talking?

They saw many people walking around near a plaza of hotels. "Well,not the best idea,but maybe we can find a way inside one of those hotels." Everyone nodded.

Tails: No, seriously... who is talking?
Miyuki: Does it really matter? Everyone's got the personality of wet cardboard in this thing.

Suddenly,a woman ran up to them. "Oh,are you the three kids who stopped that police chase earlier?" The kids slowly nodded.

Akiko: Hi, random plot device woman!

"You seem a little down,is something wrong?" Sapphire slowly nodded. "Well,we are looking for a place to stay the night and..." The woman smiled. "I know just what to do with you three! How about we all go to my hotel,you can stay the night there!" The kids smiled. "Oh,thank you very much!"

Miyu: Why am I not surprised? A main character is always gifted or rewarded with extravagant items or locations. I mean, a random woman comes out of nowhere and has this hotel that they can stay in? What are the odds of that?

They all started walking to a large hotel,they soon reached it,the woman opened the doors and let the teens in. "Wow,this hotel is so huge!" The woman smiled,she walked over to a counter,there was a waitress there. The three kids started walking around,there were many people walking around,not noticing them.The woman walked back to them. "Here,let me show you your rooms."

Tomoko: Hope they have bedbugs.
Miyuki: Welcome to Trump Paradise Island!

The three walked to a door,the woman opened it,it was a very large room. "You three can sleep in here tonight.There is plenty you can do." Speedy ran in and jumped onto a bed,he instantly fell asleep and started snoring. "Well,your friend sure is pretty tired,you better get some sleep so you can go back on your journey tomorrow." The two girls nodded.Sakura went into the bathroom and took a bath. The woman put her hand on Sapphire's shoulder. "Can I talk to you for a moment,little girl?" Sapphire nodded,the two walked out of the room and went to another empty room. The woman sat down on a bed,Saphire followed and did the same. "What do you need to talk to me about?" The woman smiled. "I know you are the daughter of Sabrina hedgehog,I know something about her and Sabre."

Tails: Wait, what?

Sapphire got confused. "You know my mom?" The woman nodded. "Yes,we met at a beautiful river several years ago,she was with a black hedgehog."

Kyo L.: Hold on. You're the lady that almost turned herself into that dumbass Bella Swan.

Sapphire perked up. "That must have been my dad,Shadow." The woman nodded. Sapphire sighed. "What do you know about Sabre?" The woman sighed sadly. "It's actually about Sabretooth,I am his mother."

Kyo L., Miyu, Jessie, Cassy: What?!

Sapphire gasped. "You're his mother? How? Why?" The woman started crying. "I don't know,it happened a few months after me and your mother met,I was at the river,looking at the face of my true love.Sabre grabbed me by the arm,he took me away into the forest,he--he--he raped me!" Sapphire gasped. "He raped you?!" The woman slowly nodded. "Yes,I ended up getting pregnant,after his son was born, he came to my house and took him away,he said something about an apprentice. I haven't seen them in 15 years." The woman started crying.

All: Why?!
Sonia: *screams and tugs at her hair*
Cassy: He really is Sabrenagi!
Kyo L., Miyu, Jessie: *facepalms*
Jessie: God. Fucking. Damn. It.
Rory: Oh... heck.
Kyo L.: Hmm, Sabrenagi isn't evil enough. How can he be even more evil? Of course! Rape! Because rape is a special kind of evil!
Miyu: No! Why did it have to be the latter scenario that Cassidy predicted?! This is rape being used as a cheap plot device!
Jayleen: *makes a face* You cannot be serious. Of all of the useless twists and turns that could have been present in something so... incredibly lackluster, this is what is supposed to captivate the audience? This fic should be an Epic Failure on the basis of this useless and half-baked "plot twist" alone!
Kyo K.: Tch... damn it. *orders two bottles of tequila* Everything just has to come back to the writer's crappy old fanfics, huh?
Benimaru: Are you going to eat the worms, too?
Kyo K.: I heard that they can cause hallucinations. If I get them, they'll be better than this fic.

Sapphire got enraged. "That's it,I can't hold on any longer! Sabre is not going to get away with anything anymore!" The woman stopped crying,she stood up. Sapphire stood up and put her hand on her shoulder. "I feel very sorry for you,

Sonia: *smacks her forehead* That's not what you say to a rape victim!
Tails: I... ugh. *rubs his forehead* I can't.
Akiko: *pulls out a pint of ice cream* Numb the pain, Numb the pain...

I promise,Sabre will pay for this!" She took her hand off her shoulder. They both walked out of the room and went back to Sapphire's room.Sapphire walked in,Sakura and Speedy were sleeping on their beds.The woman walked out and closed the door. Sapphire walked over to her bed and layed down,she thought for a while until she fell asleep.

Miyuki: I can't do this any more. I just... I can't.
Akiko: *shrugs, eats her ice cream*

In the forest,Sonic and the other parents were getting exhausted from searching all night. "We can't find the kids anywhere,we have to stop for the night."

Tomoko: There's six of you. You idiots never thought to go in pairs in different shifts? Hell, three of you have supersonic speed, and you somehow didn't cover that much ground?

Sonic jumped into a tree and layed down on the branch.Amy sat down next to the tree,she soon fell asleep,Tails and Christina flew up into the same tree and layed down on a large branch,they instantly fell asleep.Sabrina sat down on the bottom of the tree and layed down,Shadow layed down next to her,they soon fell asleep.

Tomoko: We didn't need a bunch of sentences telling us that six idiots fell asleep, either.

The next morning,the six parents woke up after Sabrina heard the wind blowing,she sat up and woke up Shadow,who was still sleeping.He opened his eyes and sat up,he looked around and saw that it was morning.He stood up,he suddenly saw a small newspaper flying through the air in the wind.

Tails: In the forest?!
Miyuki: They can use it to wipe their butts when nature calls.
Tomoko: They're so dumb that they'll probably eat the paper.
Akiko: I guess that's how Sabre gets the news! It's delivered right to his tree trunk!

Sabrina saw it and jumped into the air,she grabbed it and landed on the ground,she looked at it carefully,she instantly saw a picture on it,it was a picture of Sapphire,Sakura,and Speedy.

Akiko: Plot convenience newspaper!
Tails: Wait, that event happened last night. How in the world did this happen so fast?
Akiko: Insta-paper!

Sabrina gasped. "Shadow,look at this,it's Sapphire!" Shadow took the paper from her hand and looked at it,he read the article. "Juvinile delinquents stop a police chase,there were two hedgehogs and a cross-fox.

Jessie: Actually a shoe.

Names are unknown,they disappeared into the city." Sabrina gasped as she read the article,she jumped into the tree. "Sonic,Tails,Christina,Amy,wake up! We found something!"

Tomoko: You didn't find shit.

The four parents woke up instantly and jumped down from the tree. "Sonic,the kids are in the city!" Sonic grinned. "Well then,let's go find them!" The six heroes ran off to Paradise City.

Miyuki: You know, they could've split and half of them could've gone into the city.
Tails: Logic.

Sapphire woke up when she smelled food,she sat up and yawned,she saw Sakura and Speedy still sleeping. She hopped off her bed and woke them up. "What is it,I'm trying to snooze,Sapphire!" Speedy got out of bed and stretched.

Tails: Who said that?
Tomoko: Who cares?

Sakura woke up and got out of bed,she yawned and looked out the window,there was a dim sunrise,she suddenly saw three blurs moving through the city like a maze,there were two yellow blurs and one blue blur. Sakura gasped. "Sapphire,our parents are here in the city!" Speedy and Sapphire ran to the window and saw the blurs. "Oh man! We have to leave,now!" Sakura and Speedy nodded and ran out the door,they all ran to the front door to the hotel and left quickly. They all started running through the large city,Sakura started flying,she saw Tails flying behind her. Sakura gasped and lowered to the ground,she started running with Speedy and Sapphire. "They're behind us!" They started running faster.

Akiko: Can't you all just stop and explain yourselves to them?
Miyuki: That's not going to work. Everyone's dumber than snow peas.

Tails saw Sakura flying,he lowered to the ground. "Sonic,I see them! They're not far!" Sonic,who was running with Shadow and Sabrina. "Okay,let's get them!" Shadow and Sabrina nodded and started running faster until they saw two blurs in front of them. "Sapphire!" Sabrina and Shadow went faster until they were nearly neck to neck. Sapphire saw them and started running as fast as she could,the blur turned into a beam of light as she moved away from her parents.

Tails: So... her flesh should melt off of her bones.

Speedy was running as fast as he could,Sapphire was too fast for him. "Sapphire,you're going too fast,I can't keep up!"

Akiko: Yeah, I think we got that.

A blue blur suddenly ran next to him,it was Sonic. "Speedy,what are you doing here?!" Speedy ignored him,Sonic was getting angry,he grabbed Speedy's arm. Speedy tried to pull away. "Stop it,Dad!" Speedy was able to break free and catch up with Sakura,who was being chased by Tails and Christina. Speedy got next to her,Sakura started flying in the air,she grabbed Speedy's hands as they both flew in the air. Tails and Christina both started flying after them.Tails caught up with them and grabbed Sakura's foot,she slowed down. "Dad,stop,let me go!" Tails gripped tighter on her leg,he started pulling her down to the ground,Speedy let go of Sakura's hands and dropped to the ground where Sonic caught him. "Speedy,what are you thinking?!" He ran into the city park and put him down.

Sakura was trying to break free of Tails's grip,he landed on the ground in the city park,Christina followed them and landed near Sonic and Speedy. "Sakura,what are you doing?"

Sapphire was still far ahead of Shadow and Sabrina,she was a beam of white light as she sped into the city park.She started running into the forest,she suddenly tripped over a large rock,she fell to the ground,she tried to get back up,but her leg was injured from the fall.

Miyu: It's not a "Sabrina's Adventure" fic without a girl tripping over a rock or a bush and getting into peril.

"No!" She saw two yellow blurs coming at her,Shadow and Sabrina walked towards her. They both kneeled down next to her. "Sapphire,what are you doing here,we told you not to come back here!" Sapphire didn't say anything. Sabrina looked at her leg,it was hurt badly. "What happened to you? Why are you doing this to us?"

Tomoko: Why in the blue hell is everyone in this piece of crap so damn robotic? Nobody talks to each other in this thing!
Akiko: Communication is for losers, Tomo-chan!

Sapphire got angry,she tried to stand up,she fell to the ground again. Sabrina caught her before she fell,she gently layed her on the ground. Shadow walked up to her. "Sapphire,why did you leave Angel Island? Why did you come here? Why do you want to stay away from us?" Sapphire started crying. "You wanted to go after Sabre,we heard you all talking about it at the beach,we didn't want you to leave!" She started sobbing. Shadow and Sabrina hugged her tightly,Sapphire stopped crying. "Sapphire,we only wanted to protect you,we didn't want you to leave us."

Miyuki: Yeah, keeping them locked up and letting themselves get into trouble is definitely "protection".

Sapphire smiled and sat up. "Thank you mom,you too,dad." Shadow and Sabrina smiled,Sabrina put her hand on her leg and healed it with her chaos powers,Sapphire stood up. Suddenly,a yellow blur came out of the forest and grabbed Sapphire. She was pulled away from her parents,she disappeared into the forest with the blur. "Sapphire!" Shadow and Sabrina stood up and looked around,Shadow snarled. "It's Sabre, he took Sapphire!" Sabrina started crying,she fell to the ground. "Sapphire,no,she's gone!" Shadow helped her get back up,they both ran out of the forest back into the park.

All: *flatly* What.
Tails: More useless conflicts for the sake of it. Just dandy.

"Speedy,what are you doing here?" Speedy was struggling to get out of Sonic's grip. "Get away from me,Dad!" Sonic was holding him down,Amy walked next to him. "Speedy! Why are you doing this?" Speedy stopped struggling,he was panting heavily. "We did it so you wouldn't leave,we heard your conversation the other day,we didn't want you to risk your lives going against Sabre,so we decided to go on our own,looking for Sabre!" Sonic let go of Speedy's arms,he stood up. Sonic and Amy suddenly hugged him. "Son,we didn't want you to leave,but you left us,we wanted to keep you safe,Sabre is a ruthless villan worse than Eggman,he'll do anything to get Sabrina and Christina's emeralds." Speedy walked around. "Wow dad,I guess we misunderstood you,I'm so sorry!" Sonic walked over and punched Speedy playfully. "Well,at least you're okay,you are one hard hog to keep up with!" Speedy started laughing,Sonic and Amy let go of him. "Thanks, Dad." Suddenly,a yellow blur ran at Sonic,it grabbed Speedy's arm as it went by. "Dad!" Sonic stood up and ran after the yelow blur,it disappeared in thin air. "Speedy! No!" Sonic stopped running,two yellow blurs were behind him,they stopped and revealed Shadow and Sabrina. "Sonic,Sabre attacked us,he took Sapphire!" Sonic growled and stomped on the ground. "What?! You too? He just took Speedy away from us!" Amy started crying,Sonic hugged her to comfort her. "Don't worry,Amy. We'll get them back somehow." Sabrina walked up to them and clenched her fist tightly,it glowed a thick,black arora. "He won't get away with this! We have to warn Tails and Christina!"

Tails, Akiko, Miyuki, Tomoko: ...
Sonia: This is ridiculous. Sabrina and Amy woudn't just break down and cry like that.
Tomoko: They're women, Hedgehog. The dumb stereotypes somehow need to be there.
Sonia: Absolutely atrocious.
Miyuki: Yep. Now it's time to repeat all of this kidnapping crap for Sakura, Christina, and Not-Tails. We're done here.

"Sakura,why are you here on the island? Sabre lives here,he'll tear you to shreds!" Sakura was struggling under Tails's grip,trying to escape. Christina sat down next to her. "Sakura,why did you come here? Why did you run away from us?" Sakura stopped struggling. "I don't want you to leave me,we never wanted you to go after Sabre,we didn't want you to lose your rainbow emerald!" Sakura started crying,she leaned against Christina. Christina hugged her. "No,we didn't want you to leave us,you all mean the whole world to us,we would never let you down." Sakura stopped crying,she sat back up and hugged her mother. "I'm so sorry,Mom!" Sakura stood up with her parents,they saw the other four parents running to them. "Tails! Look out,Sabre's after you!" But it was too late,a yellow blur came out of the forest and grabbed Sakura,the blur took her away as it vanished into thin air. "Sakura!" Tails started flying in the air,he looked around,he couldn't see anything. He lowered back to the ground. "I couldn't find them,Sonic,we have to find Sabre!" Sonic and everyone else nodded. "Okay,let's do it to it!" Everyone nodded and started running through the forest.

Tails, Akiko, Miyuki, Tomoko: ...*gets up, walks to the back of the theater*
Akiko: Dumb. This is so dumb.
Tomoko: Fic's got more padding than Jade's furniture.
Tails: *glances at Kyo K. as he walks by*
Kyo K.: *sighs* I know, I know. You ain't gotta tell me twice. *gets up, heads to the front of the theater* Let's get this crap over with.
Benimaru, Emi, Keiko: *grumbling as they follow Kyo K.*

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