Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Black Crow Crew, Episode 16: The Power of Love (Part Two)

--

3. Old friends and nightmares

An hour later a helicopter landed in front of the mansion . A man stepped out " Yo ! Anyone home ?" He asked, Alex opened the front door " Zack ! What are you doing out here ?" " Hey Alex good to see man . Have you and Helena started dating yet ?" Helena then stepped outside " Yes we have Zack . Now what are you doing here ?" Zack Smiled and replied " It's about time you two got together

Kyo: *screams in agony*
Miyu: The shilling is hurting us.

as for the reason I'm here I've been hearing a lot of rumors about a few small towns in Japan being attack by monsters and by the description I got they sound very similar to what you two saved me and Nikki from six months ago." Six months ago Alex and Helena saved Zack and Nikki from one of Donovan's test sites Helena thought it would be a great way to repay him for saving her life at Doatec last year.

Akiko: Plot? What plot? Here, have some loose threads that we're gonna count as "plot"!
Cassy: *tosses a tiny anvil on the table* Exposition anvil.
Miyu: Pretend that a decent story is a home cooked turkey or chicken.
Jessie: Yeah, and we got table scraps with this thing.
Kyo: No. We just got the bones with the meat picked clean off of them.

Alex then said " Are you sure ?" Zack nodded then checked his watch and said "Oh crap ! I have to get going I'll check in later ." He then headed back to his helicopter and left.

Cassy: And now that the random plot mailman has left...

Helena then turned to Alex and said " So what are we going to do about this ?" Alex took Helena's hand pulled her inside.

Kyo: *as the Stu* Who's this "we", woman? You just have to look pretty while I swing my dick around.
Akiko: Eww.

The two then headed into the living room and sat down. Helena looked at Alex she could tell he was thinking she then spoke " Alex are you ok?" He looked at her and said " Yes Helena I'm fine It's just this seems that everything that has happened so far today is linked somehow I just can't figure why ."

Jessie: Because it's random as hell?

Helena wrapped her arms around him put her head on his shoulder " We will find out later but right now let's just try and relax." Alex let out a light sigh and said " I guess you're right. It's just I guess it's been an interesting year to say the least."

Cassy: You mean the year that ran faster than Sonic?

Helena smiled and replied " Yes but It's been the best year of my life and I wouldn't trade it for anything my love." " Thanks Helena I feel the same way my darling."

Akiko: Okay, how many times do they need to say the sappy love stuff again?
Miyu: At least twice a chapter.

Then raptor jumped on the couch and started sniffing Helena. " Um Alex." Alex laughed a little and said " Don't worry Helena he's just getting used to your sent kind of like a dog." Helena used to have have a dog but she had to put it down five months ago because it had a terminal sickness that was very painful she never thought she would get another pet.

Kyo: *stunned* What the fuck?
Cassy: I think the Stu killed her dog. You all do know that her dog is alive in canon, right?
Jessie: Damn. He really does want to control her life. He lobotomized her, he killed her dog and replaced it with that dumb Transformer dino of his... what's next?
Kyo: She ends up barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. I'm pretty sure that we're two steps away from that happening.
Akiko: Gross.
Jessie: I guess women aren't supposed to have pets. First Christie's panther gets shredded, now Helena's dog bites the dust?
Miyu: I'm slowly becoming convinced that the Stu is turning into a psychopath.
Cassy: I'm so glad that Sonia isn't here to see this. She'd rip this fic apart so hard.

But she looked at raptor and said "He is pretty cute like this." she then petted him with her right hand. Raptor then just relaxed and sat on her lap. Kokoro then came down stairs " Hey" she said quietly she then sat next to Helena. "Sleep well?" Helena asked, "As well as I could things being the way they are." Alex then said "We will make them pay." "And dearly." Helena added.

Akiko: What about their little dogs? Will they pay, too?
Cassy: So that's what happened to Helena's dog.

4:00 am Helena and Alex's room

The two of them were fast asleep. Alex was dreaming in his dream he was standing in what looked like a church.

Miyu: Don't step in, you'll get smited!

He looked down he was wearing his sentinel armor which is gold in colour with green lights

Jessie: *with a megaphone* Who the fuck cares?!

"Where am I ?" "A place where we can talk ." Alex turned to see a woman in a white dress with short blonde hair " Do I know you ?" The women shook her head " No but you know my daughter ." Then it hit him " You're Helena's mother ." "Yes I am. I wanted to let you know that I am very happy Helena found you ."

Cassy: Are you fucking kidding me, dude?!
Jessie: I literally can't even. I am literally out of evens.
Kyo: Fuck this bullshit sideways. *sets himself on fire*
Miyu: *as her glasses slowly slide off of her face and land on her lap* Her deceased mother had to shill him. The deceased mother of Miss Douglas had to shill him. This fic just broke the ridiculous meter of shilling. Now they're officially together because a ghost said so.
Akiko: Whoo. I knew that there would be shilling. I didn't expect that. Why does this fic have to tell us that it's supposed to be "fate"... gah, I hate that word so much.

She said, Alex then said " Thank you that means a lot to me to hear you say that ." She smiled " Now you must wake up Helena will need you soon ." Alex then started to wake up meanwhile

Helena's Nightmare Note she is wearing her third costume in doa 4

Jessie: Get the crystal ball.
Miyu: *sighs as she puts her glasses back on* Quoting the Dead or Alive Wikia again. *reads* "Blue-and-gold, leather leotard with matching sleeves, a pair of stockings, high heeled boots, and a pair of gloves."
Cassy: Hairbow?
Miyu: It's blue.

Helena was in a forest the sky was a dark gray and the trees looked dead. She then looked to her left and saw a mirror she stared at her reflection and she was wearing the outfit she wore during the fourth tournament.

Cassy: Shouldn't it be her first outfit, then? You know, the black and blue catsuit?
Miyu: Stop thinking, Cassidy.

Then she heard a dark voice " So you still stare at yourself in the mirror. I wonder why perhaps to keep your boy-toy happy and under your control."

Akiko: Isn't he controlling her, though?

Helena was angered by it's words " How dare you ! I love Alex with all my heart and soul and it doesn't matter what I wear he loves me for who I am !"

Jessie: That ain't love, sweetie. You're being mind controlled.

" Well let's see how long he lasts." Alex then appeared "Helena get down !" His war-blades then shot out of his forearms and then he jumped into the air and cut through a big shadowy monster. "Get behind me !" She did as he said, Then more monsters came out of nowhere. Alex killed them all The voice roared in anger " I'll just have to kill you myself !" Then a giant shadow ripped itself out of the ground and grabbed Alex "Helena run !" But she couldn't move so she watched in horror and saw her love killed before her eyes his blood falling to the ground like rain. Then she couldn't see Alex or the monster but it was still raining blood.

Kyo: *as his flames dissipate* I refuse to let my dreams be dreams.

Helena then turned to the right and saw her mother's grave which was covered in blood.

Miyu: I see that this is becoming an uncomfortable trend.
Cassy: I'll take that trend.

Then she heard Christie's voice " I'll take him away from you just like I did your mother and there is nothing you can do to stop me." Christie then started laughing wickedly Helena then woke up, Hot tears running down her face and cold sweat all over in body. "

Cassy: Again, she would not act like this. She escaped from Donovan. She was ready to die in the fourth tournament. She doesn't just turn tail and run!
Jessie: Women like the real Helena Douglas do not exist in Mary Sue or Gary Stu fics.

More nightmares Helena ?" Helena held Alex tightly " May I take that as a yes ?" " It was so terrible Alex. I don't know what to do to stop them." Alex then kissed her passionately.

Akiko: No, we don't need the magical healing thingy. Thanks.
Kyo: Too much magic in this stuff. Magic kisses, magic penis...
Akiko: I was trying not to think about that, thanks.
Jessie: Of course. After all, the magic penis is attatched to a giant dick.
Manic: *plays a rimshot*
Akiko: Oh, come on! Seriously?!
Kyo: *hands Manic five dollars*
Manic: You do all of this stuff and you never burn your money. How do you do it?
Kyo: I mastered my powers. That's all.
Miyu: *whispers* Fireproof wallet.
Kyo: Hey!
Manic: Ha!

The kiss lasted for about a minute when it ended he smiled at her " Feel better ?" " Yes thank you my love if I didn't have you I ." He pecked her on the cheek " Well you do and like I said yesterday I am not going anywhere ."

Miyu: I just want my sugar coma now. Thank you.

" I know Alex I guess I'm just a little stressed. I've lost so much and I guess I'm just scared to lose you to." Alex then thought of a question he needed to ask " What can I do to convince you that you won't lose me ?" Helena thought for a second then said " Yes" "Well what is it ?" Helena then pulled Alex into a deep kiss and said " Feel like a workout ?"

All: *screaming*
Kyo: Healing sex?!
Akiko: Wow, this fic really does have a load of clichés!
Miyu: Also, they just woke up. There is the possibility of morning breath here.
Kyo, Jessie, Cassy, Akiko: *gags*
Miyu: Oh... dear.

4. Morning love

Alex's face was now a bright red as he thought about the question Helena just asked. " I... I um" Alex was trying to say something but he couldn't think of what to say. "Um Alex ?" Helena was starting to regret her question.

Kyo: I'm starting to regret looking at this fic.

She was hoping Alex was ready to make love to her but now she was just hoping she didn't scare him. Alex saw the concern in her eyes and finally spoke. " Helena I think there is something I need to tell you." Helena quickly responded. " Alex I'm sorry I don't know what I was thinking when I said that. I'm so sorry." Alex quickly jumped in. " Helena you have nothing to be sorry about. I was just surprised that's all." Helena relaxed a little. Alex continued " I do want to be with you but." Helena then asked " But what ?" Alex sighed and began to explain " Well after I got my powers I found out that they come at a price ."

Cassy: And here we go! Random drama alert!
Akiko: Why do we need drama? Isn't this supposed to be a fighting series? Where's the fighting?
Cassy: Yeah... good luck with that.
Miyu: I could accept the lack of fighting if we had any proper worldbuilding or backstories here... but we don't have any of those things.

Helena thought she knew where he was going with this. " Oh I get you can't have sex." Alex quickly raised his hands up. " No I can it's just there isn't much point." Helena was now confused. "What do you mean no point ! Making love this the most intimate two people can do together ."

Miyu: No, it's not. Sex isn't the be-all and end-all of a relationship.

Helena was thinking Alex didn't think it was important. Alex quickly responded " Helena I do think it's important . It's just it won't lead to a family ." Helena could see tears in his eyes. She then figured out what he meant. " You want to have kids with me ?" She asked with a hopeful tone in her voice. " Yes Helena I want that more than anything . I would love for us to have kids of our own. But we can't."

Jessie: So... adopt?
Kyo: That ain't happening. He's gonna have magical Stu sperm, so he's gonna have a kid coming from his loins soon. And you can quote my angry ass on this.

Helena wrapped her arms around Alex's shoulders. "Why not ?" She asked. "Because of the method they used to activate my powers. It made me unable to father children." Helena kissed Alex on the lips then said. " It's ok Alex I love and nothing will ever change that." Alex smiled. " I love you too Helena."

Akiko: Remember the last time that they said that they loved each other?
Miyu: The more they keep saying it, the less I'm inclined to actually believe it.

She smiled . "So um do you want to wait a little while ?" She asked. " Yes I think we should wait for a little while before we have sex. Is there anything else you want to do ?" Helena thought for a second then answered. " Well we could try getting to know each others soft spots." Alex smiled at the idea. " Now that is something I can do ." Helena's face turned a deep red. " Ok so what should we start with ?" Alex thought for a second. "Let's start off small." Helena nodded and started to undress. Then Alex stopped her. " What's wrong ?" "I think we should try just feeling each other." "But don't you like seeing me naked ?" "Yes I do but let's take it slow ok ?" "Ok. Shall we begin ?" The two of them began to touch each other.

Jessie: *sarcastically* Yeah, slow down, you wanton whore. *normal voice* I thought that every Stu wanted to bone the women. At least that's what the old cliché books said.
Miyu: True, but at least this is a somewhat decent change. Too bad that it fell flat with the "Alex was a little worried he might lose control of himself" garbage that happened earlier.
Kyo: So this crap's just here for drama points.
Cassy: And it's here to waste our time.

One hour later

"Wow that felt really good Alex if you can make me feel this when I'm still wearing clothes I can't wait to see what you can do to me when I'm naked." She said .

Cassy: He never had sex, but he can give her the best pleasure ever. With clothes on.
Kyo: This's some bullshit.

Alex kissed her on the cheek. "Like I said I aim to please and you defiantly made me feel the same way." Helena smiled. "So what do you you want to do now ?" Alex smiled. " Up for an early morning swim ?" " Yes I'd like that ." They got changed.

7:00 am

Kokoro awoke to the sound of Alex and Helena talking about something.

Akiko: Details? Nah, we don't need 'em!

She decided to get out of bed and then went downstairs. " Um Alex I was wondering doesn't raptor need somewhere to go to the bathroom ?" Helena asked " No . You see anything he eats or drinks is either stored as energy or is used to make internal or external repairs ." " That is really cool how do you build him ?" "I didn't." Alex responded. " Wait so he was built for you ?" Alex shook his head " No he wasn't built ." Helena was confused. " But there is no way on earth that he was born ." Alex smiled " Exactly right." Helena's eyes widened and was about to say something when but was cut off by Kokoro. " So raptor is from a different planet ?" Alex shook his head. " No Kokoro not a different planet well not in this galaxy ."

Jessie: *with a megaphone* Who the fuck cares?!
Kyo: I don't know why we're supposed to care, Jess. It's also bugging me that someone always has to be cut off when they're about to say something.
Akiko: Can we get to the fighting now? This is so boring! And confusing!
Miyu: I don't think we're going to be getting that for a while.

Helena was shocked. " So you have been to another galaxy that doesn't seem possible ." Alex smiled. " Well it is possible when you have intergalactic teleporters."

Miyu: *flatly* What.
Cassy: I don't know what universe we're in, but it's certainly not the DOA universe.

Helena was stunned. " So..." Alex cut her off.

Kyo: You asshole.

" I think we should which topics." Helena had to agree this was getting a little too weird.

Jessie: "A little"? Lady, are you drunk or me?
Cassy: Neither. She just went and drank paint thinner.

" Ok so what do now ?" She asked Alex. " Well I have orders to help you fix your dads company and to kill Donovan who still most likely has the loyalty of Titian's old armies." Helena was trying to think of how they could take Donovan down for good when Kokoro spoke from the living room. " Hey Helena Alex you two might want to see this."

Jessie: I don't want to see any of this.
Miyu: Too bad, fic says that we'll have to see it.
Jessie: *sighs* Yay.

--

Continue to Part Three
Go Back to Part One
Go Back to Sequelitis Page
Go Back to Episode List
Go Back to Main MST 'EM Page