Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Riffer Recruits, Episode 3: Wish Upon a Starr (Part Four)

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Wish Upon A Starr- Part five

Chapter five- Chaos control freaks

"Dr. Eggman!" Decoe screamed, "Sonic has broken in!"

"And so has the hawk!" Boecoe wailed. Eggman stroked his mustache evilly.

"Perfect," he sneered.

Akiko: Wait, what? What's happening?
Miyuki: Plot wheel spun and fell off, that's what's happening.

"Let me go or-or- you'll be sorry!" Starr shrieked. She had been held hostage in some… clear… bubble thingy for about three hours now, and it was very smish-ed in there! Eggman grinned at the toucan, his teeth all ghastly glowing in the light.

Tails: And suddenly she's a damsel in distress. *sighs* Great.

"Settle down, Feather-brain, your brother and your boyfriend are falling into my trap just perfectly," he chuckled.

"Vector's here to save me?" Starr said with her eyes all twinkly. Suddenly Sonic burst in through a window and landed perfectly on his feet.

"Ah, shoot! He's not my boyfriend you twit!" Starr hissed sinisterly.

Tomoko: Yeah, he doesn't have a crystal ball, you whiner. You wanna be saved or not?

"Hello, Eggman, long time no see!" Sonic grinned. Jet suddenly burst in and landed flat on his noggin.

"Ah-ha!" Jet said quickly jumping up. Sonic stared at Jet blankly. "What?" Jet asked. Sonic just shook his head.

Miyuki: *flatly* Ha-ha. Hilarious.

"Um… is it safe to say that now that HE has arrived, the toucan's doomed, I presume?" Eggman asked.

"HEY!" Jet and Starr barked.

"Just because he's a moron when it comes to arriving…" Sonic started.

"-doesn't mean I'm a bad hero!" Jet finished pulling his Gear out to smash the bubble… thingy… (what can I say? Adjectives fail me.)

Tails: I think there's a lot of things that have failed in this fic...

"No! Wait! Jet-" Starr said quickly.

BONG!

Jet's Gear bounced off the bubble causing a vibration and causing pain to both him AND his sister.

"That's Plexiglas, Jet, there's no breaking that…" Eggman said.

Akiko: Get a chainsaw so we can end this faster!

"Ugh… let's agree he's a bird brain and that this is a fight between you and me," Sonic snarled rubbing his forehead. (Jet and Starr were getting kinda tired of hearing Jet get insulted.)

Miyuki: And neither of you decided to speak up... why? And we didn't need parenthesis for that last sentence.

"Hey, Dr. Eggman!" Bokkun said still with the toilet paper stuck to his shoe, "I brought the Chaos Emeralds!"

Tails: What the -- why are the Chaos Emeralds here all of a sudden?!
Tomoko: The hell's going on in this mess?
Tails: I don't know!

"Bokkun you moronic fool!" Bocoe snapped.

"We have Babylon Rouges in here! What are you, BLIND?" Decoe snarled.

Akiko: Hey, someone has to be dumb to move the plot... wait. There's no plot.

"How many Emeralds?" Jet asked curiously.

"Seven!" Bokkun chirped.

Miyuki: And what's today's letter?
Tomoko: "I" for "idiot".

"I hate you," Eggman hissed. Bokkun dropped the Emeralds and ran off bawling. Eggman picked them up carefully and held them tightly to his chest in case Sonic or Jet got any interesting ideas.

"You know, Sonic," he grinned, "I'm surprised you wasted your precious time for that toucan-"

"SHE HAS A NAME, YOU SON OF A BISCUT!" Jet thundered.

Akiko: And "biscuit" is misspelled... speaking of biscuits, let's get some later.

"Yeah! It's Starr!" Starr boomed.

Miyuki: Whatever.

"Uh… yeah, whatever," Eggman continued rambling, "Anyway, you've totally wasted your time because she's in no trouble at all, but YOU are!"

"Huh?" Sonic asked confusedly.

"Whothewhatnow?" Jet asked.

"What the whohuh?" Starr asked.

"What the pancakes with pickles?" Chuckles the worm asked coming from nowhere. Everybody merely glanced at him funny.

Tails: *sighs, walks to the window, groans in annoyance*
Akiko: You okay, Tails?
Tails: I don't know any more...
Tomoko: Yeah, he's out of it.

"What I mean is, I HAVE THE CHAOS EMERALDS! I HAVE THE POWER OF THE GALAXY! MWAHAHAHA- (cough cough)- does anybody have an Aquadrop?"

"Yoink!" Jet squeaked as he snitched the Emeralds right out of Eggman's hands.

"Aw, that ain't right," Eggman mumbled. Sonic glared at Jet angrily.

"WHAT DID YOU GO AND DO THAT FOR?" he thundered.

"Um… I WANTED them? So they are MINE?" Jet said.

"You are such a selfish twit!" Sonic growled. Starr smacked him with her boomerang.

"Don't you be calling my brother a twit or I'll hit you harder!" she snapped.

Akiko: Uh, where did she come from? I thought she was stuck in a tube or something...

"What the-? How'd you get out?" Jet blinked.

"Um… dang, I forget," Starr murmured.

Akiko: *makes a face* Really, now? Really? Why is this even a thing?
Tails: I'm done. *jumps out of the window*
Tomoko: The hell?
Miyuki: Uh-oh. *walks to the window* Tails?
Tails: Yeah?
Miyuki: You okay?
Tails: Yeah.
Miyuki: You wanna come back up?
Tails: No. And don't get a backup for me.
Miyuki: Okay... enjoy your tiny break, then.

"Well, that's just brilliant, Starr," Sonic grimaced rubbing his scalp.

"Well, hey, I'm no Houdini!" Starr snapped. Suddenly the Emeralds started glowing and there you have it, instant Chaos Control- just add arguments and water.

Tomoko: Seriously, this is the tackiest fic that I've ever looked at. How can she say that she's no damn magician when she just popped out of a glass cage?
Akiko: Because... I don't know, reasons.

"I like purple pancakes with purple pickles," said bloomacncheez.

"Um… the OTHER galaxy," Sonic-Boom said taping bloomacncheez's trap shut.

Miyuki: Well, that was a waste. No wonder Tails ditched this fic.

"Ugh… what just happened? Where am I? Who's bloomacncheez? How did I get here? Why am I asking all these questions to myself?" Sonic said getting up.

Akiko: And why should we care?

He looked around in confusion. Suddenly he heard a horn honking and a light growing closer to him. "I'M DEAD? I CAN'T BE DEAD! I NEVER TOLD AMY THAT I LIKE HER! Oh- dang- YOU GUYS DIDN'T HEAR ME SAY THAT!" But Sonic knew that his life was more important than worrying about being embarrassed in front of you guys so he quickly sped out of the light's way. It turned around and attacked him again. Sonic bounced in the air just barely dodging it. Then the light stopped and honked louder. Sonic then realized he was sitting in front of a large Formula-1 racing car.

Akiko: Wait a second...
Tails: *as he flies through the window* I think we were randomly transported into the Sonic X universe. Now that I think about it, the Chaos Control incident did kickstart the whole thing.
Tomoko: Huh. Well, that was a short break. Is your mind clear now, Prower?
Tails: No.
Tomoko: At least you were being honest.
Akiko: But why would you even come back, Tails?
Tails: Because I'm obligated to bury this fic.
Akiko: Sure. Just take it easy.
Tails: Yeah. Before we continue, I should point out a few things, now that I'm remembering them. *loads a page on his Miles Electric* The title of this chapter is called "Chaos Control Freaks". That's also the name of the first episode of the dub of "Sonc X". Sonic was meant to save Cream and Cheese, who were replaced by Starr in this fic, and Jet was added to this. This fic is now just shuffling the Sonic X plot around.
Miyuki: *makes a face*
Tomoko: Can't think of a plot, so one just had to be ripped off. This is stupid.

"Hey, hedgehog," said a voice. Sonic looked at the driver. The driver was a young man with short red hair and had on a uniform that read 'SPEED RACER' across the front of his shirt. "The name's Sam," he continued, "You know, you're pretty fast."

"So I've been told…" Sonic thought to himself.

"However," Sam rambled, "I think you should come with me. You see, we people don't know where you came from and we are going to run some tests…"

Akiko: *sarcastically* Yeah, you should definitely say that to someone you don't know.

"I wonder if they involve needles…" Sonic wondered.

"Some of which involve needles-," Sam continued. Sonic yelped and ran like there was no tomorrow… or the next day… or the next day… or the next day… or the next day… or the next day… OR THE NEXT DAY… or the next day… or the- okay you get the idea…

Tomoko: Thank you, now shut up.
Akiko: You know, that Spongebob reference was only funny in Spongebob. This fic's only killing the joke.

"They always choose the hard way," Sam sighed slamming his foot on the gas… hee hee… gas…

Miyuki: *facepalms* When is this stupid fic ending?
Tails: *bored* Three chapters are left after this one.
Miyuki: Great...

Sonic ran fast, but Sam soon caught up and passed him.

"Ha, now the only way he'll be able to pass me is if he runs at Super Sonic speed…" Sam smirked. But Sonic made him eat those words. Sonic jetted (HA HA! JET!)

Miyuki: Ha, ha, shut up!
Akiko: Want some ice cream, Mi-chan? You sound like you're gonna snap.
Tomoko: Too late, Miyadama. She's already there.

ahead of Sam at the speed of light.

"WHAT IN THE-?" Sam awed. Sonic smiled back at Sam and held his thumb up. Suddenly, Sonic realized he was running towards a ledge. He leapt high in the air and soared through the sky.

"Okay," Sonic said nervously, "That, kids, was REALLY stupid, NEVER try that at home, it ends… well… not as you planned…"

Tails: Oh, yeah. This is definitely a bad rewrite of the first episode.

"Hey, Sonic!" Sonic looked to his left and met eyes with Jet on his Type-J board.

"Jet! You're here too?" he said astonished. Jet merely nodded and caught Sonic on the back of his board. The two sat and smiled at each other before Sonic burst…

"DON'T YOU EVER PULL A STUNT LIKE THAT AGAIN! YOU ALMOST HAD US ALL KILLED! NEXT TIME, YOU STOP AND THINK BEFORE SNATCHING UP POWERFUL TOOLS LIKE THE CHAOS EMERALDS!"

"Well, you're welcome," Jet snorted. With that, the board gave a heave and slowed.

"Um, you got a turbulence problem, Jet?" Sonic asked.

Tomoko: *flatly* Maybe it was caused by gas.
Miyuki: *bored* Hur-hur.

"Uh…" Jet started, "Promise not to get mad?"

"No."

Akiko: He's gonna be mad.

"Well… um… it's out of air… please don't hurt me," Jet winced. Sonic felt his heart pump harder and his stomach lurch as the words came from Jet's beak. And then the board stopped… and fell.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" the two screamed. Jet fell into a pile of bushes. Sonic looked down to see where HE was plummeting towards. And it was… ironically… A SWIMMING POOL! (Dun dun DUN!)

Akiko: Seriously, will you quit with the dumb author's notes? It's already messing up the story.
Tails: There is no story.

"Aw… THAT'S JUST GREAT!" Sonic snarled before causing a big-

SPLASH!

Little did he know… someone heard him.

Tails: It's Chris. We know. Maybe we should get to a certain part of the fic now.
Tomoko: Like the end.

Sonic struggled to get out of the water, but regardless, he failed his many attempts. Then Sonic looked up and there was a boy, no older than twelve, swimming towards him with his hand out. Sonic grabbed the boy's hand and the two swam to the surface.

Sonic coughed and gagged all of the water and fish (what the-?) out of his lungs.

"You okay? I'm Chris," the boy said.

"Yeah, thanks, my name's Sonic," Sonic said. Chris smiled.

"Amy told me all about you," he said. Sonic whirled around and looked at Chris.

"Amy? Who else is here?" he asked urgently.

"Everybody, really," Chris answered, "Tails, Knuckles, Shadow, Rouge, Cream, Cheese, Chaoia, Chaoina, Chaoy, Big, Froggy, Espio, Charmy, Vector, and Starr."

Tails: This is different. On the other hand, how could he remember all of those names at once if he just met them?
Akiko: He wrote their names into the palms of his hands.

"STARR?" Jet shrieked leaping out of the bushes, "(hi, I'm Jet,) IS SHE OKAY?"

"Why, do you know her?" Chris asked suspiciously.

"KNOW HER? I'm her b-," Jet started.

"Don't tell me," Chris interrupted, "You have a crush on her don't you?" Jet stared at Chris.

"Oh… my… gosh… that is the nastiest thing I've ever heard," he shuddered.

"Oh, are you playing hard to get?" Chris teased. Jet stuck his tongue out in disgust.

"Dude, you pervert. She's my-."

"Isn't that just sweet!"

"My-."

"Your sweetheart!"

"MY SISTER! OH MY GOSH YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT PICTURES YOU ARE GIVING ME RIGHT NOW! AND THEY AIN'T PRETTY! YOU'RE MAKING ME THINK ABOUT KISSING AND MY SISTER AT THE SAME TIME! AUGH! THE HORROR! THE PG-13 AND OVER HORROR! I'M SCARRED! SCARRED I TELL YOU! MY EYES ARE BURNING!" Jet shrieked.

Tomoko: ...is it possible to ask Tsukino to get eleven herbs and spices for that noisy bird?
Akiko: Uh... I wouldn't try it myself.

"Golly shucks, man, can't you take a joke? Geez…" Chris murmured. Then it seemed like Chris remembered something. "OH MY GOSH! YOU'RE HER BROTHER?"

"Um, I think we've established that…" Sonic said.

Miyuki: You did. He didn't.

"No, if you're REALLY Starr's brother-," Chris started.

"Well I am, unless you use my name, 'Pancake w/ pickles'," Jet said grinning. Sonic stared at him for a few minutes.

Akiko: Why is this fic so obsessed with pancakes and pickles? It's driving me nuts.

"Man, I don't even KNOW you anymore," he shuddered.

"Shut up, at least your butt's on fire…"

"Oh, why thank you, (pervert…)"

"No, Sonic, it really is."

"Okay…. that's just weird," Sonic said extinguishing a flame on his tail.

"Yes I am," bloomacncheez said coming from a magical world of wonder… this is when Sonic-Boom came in and shot me with a sleeping dart… IN MY BACKSIDE! Zzzzzzzzzzz…

"Okay, excuse us," Sonic-Boom said taking me back through the portal to our own little dimension…

Tails: *bored* Yay for more random humor.
Miyuki: *bored* My sides hurt.

"That was really awkward," Chris stated.

"Ditto," Jet agreed.

Tomoko: I'd also like it if the fic would stop doing that crap.

"Will you please continue so we can go out for pie later?" Sonic asked Chris."

Akiko: Is the pie made by Amy?
Tails: *eyes widening* Please tell me that you didn't steal another pie from her.

"Um, sure… anyway, if you're REALLY Starr's brother, then you need to come right away!"

"Why?" Jet asked.

"She didn't tell me her name! Amy told me! Starr hasn't stopped crying since we found her! She's been asking for YOU!" Chris cried. Jet panicked.

"Okay, lead the way!"

Later when Chris brought them back to his grandfather's lab…

"Now, listen," Chris whispered, "you're gonna need to keep it down, or else you're going to wake up Gran-."

"STARR! WHERE ARE YOU, SIS?" Jet shrieked at the top of his lungs.

All: *facepalms*
Tomoko: Electricity cooks birds faster, right?
Akiko: Yeah, but... there's no flavor after that.

"Didn't hear a WORD I said, did you, Jet?"

"Nope, what DID you say?"

"Never mind."

Miyuki: I should've spoken in the language of Fist. It's universal.

"Sonic! You made it!" Amy squealed. She threw her arms around him causing him to blush. "I was so worried!" she said.

"Um, thanks…" Sonic said weakly.

"VECTOR! LEAVE ME ALONE I DON'T WANT TO TALK RIGHT NOW!" Sonic looked over to see Starr. Vector- who was staying interestingly patient with her- put his arm around her comfortingly.

"It's okay, Starr! Look who Chris found!" he told her. Starr looked over at Jet and grinned.

"Yay," she said. And then she hugged Vector and then her brother.

Akiko: Yay. Is this chapter almost done?
Miyuki: Almost, thank goodness.

"OH NO!" Tails screamed.

"What's wrong Tails?" Chris asked.

"IF WE'RE ALL HERE THEN EGGMAN IS TOO!"

"And it took him THAT long to figure it out! Jeez! He's supposed to be the SMART one!" Shadow barked.

Tails: ...why are you still here? And if you knew that, why didn't you say anything?
Tomoko: It's okay, Prower. He's just being his usual... never mind, I can't even be nice. He's a jackass who just needs a bunch of metal crammed up his ass.

TO BE CONTINUED…

(Dooh, I hope we live!)

Tomoko: Some cliffhanger. Of course you idiots are gonna live!
Tails: It's just "drama".
Tomoko: Some drama.

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